Let's try tearing off the class description and working from the mechanics and the vow of non-violence. What you've got is someone who excels in enchantment and illusion, and has the potential to learn a lot of the rogue's skills. This isn't that different from a Bard, and people don't struggle to make Exalted Bards (at least in principle).
My advice is to start simple. Your character abhors the violence of the world and is committed to defending its people using more subtle means. Rather than Bluff, your key skill would be Diplomacy. You're not a preacher, and shouldn't act like one. But reason with people. Persuade them that the Exalted Path, or at least the ways of Good, are superior. (A good way to give this a non-religious flavor is to take the position that you're building heaven in this life, today, rather than promising a pleasant afterlife.)
In terms of spell-casting: You have no qualms about charming aggressors - they retain their own minds, but come around to your way of thinking - though you might as well cross dominate person and dominate monster off your spell list. Similarly, using illusions to prevent evil (at its most hackneyed, disguising the orphanage as a barracks full of heavily armed soldiers) is right and proper. Not only have you saved innocents, you've kept the wicked from further staining their souls.
One final suggestion. You're going to be very short on options for 9th-level spells. It may be worth pleading with the ref to put End to Strife onto your spell list, in place of Power Word, Kill.
