So, do you work with your players in the first place to create your houserules or do you create and implement them without first consulting players? Or perhaps you do a bit of both?
Depends on the situation and specific house rule in question.
The more I know the players, the more I'm willing to collaborate. The more specific the house rule and reason I have for it, the less I'm willing to collaborate.
If we're playing in a setting that doesn't have specific races, they're banned. Period. If there are game breaking spells, feats, classes, subclasses, multiclass combos, cheese builds, etc then they're banned. Period. Not even the possibility of a conversation to be had.
Things like general "how do we want to handle X" questions, when I don't have an opinion either way, but we need to have something in place, I'll throw that to the players and let them decide. Things like tracking encumbrance, ammo, rations, etc. If it's an old-school survival horror game, they matter and we'll use harsh version of those rules, if it's not that style of play, I'll leave it to the players to decide. If tracking things helps them immerse in the game, we'll do that. If they think it's more hassle than it's worth, we won't bother. How do we handle travel? Etc.
Some house rules I'll suggest to the players and they get to decide as a group, take it, leave it, or modify it. I have final say if they try to turn a suggested house rule into cheese.