D&D 5E How to engage a "poke the bear" player?

[jgsugden]

Imagine you're running a D&D game and suddenly someone is playing an early version of Wolverine. His character gets offended at the slightest insult, he enjoys bar room brawls, and he doesn't give a lick about consequences. He is chaos, but with a heart of gold.

Is that something that can't work in a story? Is there no path to make that an interesting character and use their antics to move the story along in a positive direction?

Disruptive players are only disruptive if you don't go with their flow. As a DM, you're here to weave the different elements that various players bring to the table to create a tapestry that is fun for everyone. It can be hard at times - especially when players do not see a way for their views of how the game should proceed to coexist, but there are always paths to be found, eventually, where everyone can have a fun path forward.

Of course, if a player is just being an angry jerk and is deciding what his character will do just so that they can disrupt the game, and not to be true to a character he is enjoying playing, then the player is a problem and you do need to address that issue. However, that is rarely the case.

 

[Blue]

At the very least, you owe it to your other players to talk to them out-of-game to explain why you are letting him continue behavior that annoys them. So they don't just abandon the game as they get annoyed at him and you week after week. Or that if they were waiting for you to deal with it they know not to stick around. Or maybe one of them will talk to the player how it's making their game unfun and you can avoid addressing that problem player out of game.

*pshaw*

 

[MostlyDm]

I really don't think that repeatedly punishing him in game is ever going to get desirable results. It will either upset him or feed his desire for attention, depending on his personality, and either way it will disrupt everyone else.

Either you need to kick him out/ask him to change his behavior... or you need to find a way to work with his tendency.

Seriously. Give him bears to poke. If you want a diplomatic negotiation scene, give him some protection from immediate repercussions for rudeness and just *let him be rude*. Maybe he nettles the enemy ambassador and the more eloquent PC uses this to their advantage, getting the flustered ambassador to agree to the party's terms.

If you aren't interested in feeding this tendency you need to talk to him. Repeatedly putting him in jail or turning him into furniture when you know this is how he plays is just a passive aggressive way of trying to tell him to stop without having to actually tell him to stop.

 

[Enevhar Aldarion]

If you either cannot or will not talk to this person out of game, it gives me the sense that this person is either your significant other or the significant other of another player in your group, a player who may quit if you kick this annoying player out. I have seen that before and if this is true, I sympathize with you.

As for something in-game, I cannot think of anything that will work because it sounds like this player would be the same way, and slowly getting worse, no matter what character or game is being played. Nearly anything you could do will not change the behavior and may only make it worse. The only thing you can do is to try anything that would make this player bored with their in-game approach to things. If this person realizes that this behavior no longer annoys you, it may stop, so maybe just simply ignoring anything non-constructive this person does with a character is the best thing to do.

 

[BookBarbarian]

I'm really glad I read this thread.

It's nice to see all the responses that advocated for a discussion with the problem player. When I was a new DM I found advice like this really useful. I'm sure there is a new DM or two reading this that will also find it useful, even if it's not what the OP requested.

 

[eryndel]

As you know the player better than we do, you'll have to answer the question on what engages him. Why he comes to the table weekly and what he want's out of the gaming experience. The way to get him to tone down the bear poking is to offer them something else that engages them. If you don't know that answer, I don't see a way you can figure that out without talking to him out of game. The communication angle is the best path here.

There are many reasons why a player might do this. I've played with and ran for a similar player. Really, his desire was to disrupt the game. He loved nothing more that to turn the game on it's ear, and (with the rest of the player) find their way out of the situation. In the game I played, we all were accepting of it, and it didn't overly detract from our enjoyment of the game, although it was cathartic when he turned on us to ally with Strahd, and made for an epic conclusion to the game.

When I ran a game with him in a different group, tensions did rise between the players because some of the folks at the table weren't having fun any more. I had a talk with him outside the game, and he tried to rein it in... but it hurt his fun in the game. He ended up moving on to a different group, but I think that talking with him outside the game helped to minimize any hurt feelings.

 

[Veril]

Have a "Mission Giver" 10 level higher than him take umbridge with him.

"Listen up punk. You're annoying me. Do it again and I'll kill you. I was gonna ask you guys to get a maguffin for me, but heck there are plenty of other adventurers I can send. Take off now, while you still can"

Then if he gives your big guy trouble, kill him, fair and square. Don't let the other players take the body.

 

[MostlyDm]

Have a "Mission Giver" 10 level higher than him take umbridge with him.

"Listen up punk. You're annoying me. Do it again and I'll kill you. I was gonna ask you guys to get a maguffin for me, but heck there are plenty of other adventurers I can send. Take off now, while you still can"

Then if he gives your big guy trouble, kill him, fair and square. Don't let the other players take the body.

I'd strongly suggest that this is not the best course of action. No offense. I do think you're giving the OP an example of what they want, but I'm really skeptical that what they want will actually be productive.

I just don't think it's the right approach. This is just a way of telling someone to shape up or leave the game without having the conviction and communication skills to actually say so plainly. It's hiding from a potentially difficult conversation and pretending it's just an "in game" event, when it's not really.

 

[Harzel]

Mostly, I just second what others have said - player engagement depends on the player. Just knowing that he likes to poke bears is not enough info to know what will engage him. All we can do is guess that whatever is going on currently is not what he wants and that he lacks the self-knowledge or social skills to communicate that in a more constructive way.

If forced to come up with an in-game answer, I guess I would try introducing some story elements that give his PC some (limited) authority or responsibility in game. Have him deal with NPCs that are lower status than his PC. Of course, this is based on the guess that he is having trouble with authority figures, which, lacking info about him is just a guess. If OTOH, he also enjoys abusing helpless peasants, then he may have a much more serious RL problem.

Others have suggested imposing dire in-game consequences, presumably as a way of punishing his undesirable behavior. I don't think that qualifies as "engaging" him in the sense that you meant, and I sort of doubt that it would modify his behavior smoothly - that is, without other unintended consequences. At best, it seems like it might force him to initiate the conversation that you, for reasons, do not want to initiate. But if you want a different suggestion along those lines, I might suggest the time-honored, "Nothing happens". NPCs ignore his verbal behaviors and if he tries to get physical he inexplicably misses and no one seems to notice what he is doing.

But to return to the larger context, you seem to be asking for suggestions about sculpting wood using only straight pins, facial tissue, a carabiner, and a blow torch. Seriously just not the right tools for the job. Just talk to the guy to find out what he wants. Really.

 

[Nagol]

It depends strongly on why the player is busy poking bears all the time.

Is he bored? Does he not like the campaign and is trying to make it fail? Is he preferring the response from the reaction to the action in the campaign? Is he a general bear-poker personality and this is just another facet for that personality? Is he doing it to test what he can get away with as a player?

The appropriate tactic to mitigate the damage will depend on the reasons the behaviour is happening in the first place.