How to keep women in the game?

[Calithorne]

We have had women in our group, but they never seem to last. My daughter became disenchanted because of conflict between players, which caused some drama. Various girlfriends of other players played a few times, but they quickly lost interest. My sister plays once in a while, and she loves court intrigue and drama, but when I did a traditional hack-and-slash dungeon, she got bored and complained.

What can we do to keep women in our group?

 

[CapnZapp]

Shower. Change clothes. Treat them as humans.

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[76512390ag12]

Frankly, listen to what they like. It's not very PC but an average woman likes more roleplaying, intrigue, romance, and less combat. Thing is, an awful lot of men do as well, so maybe just crank that right up. But, asking is best, some women I have played with loved being buffee up battlefield tanks or deathly assassins just much.
Plus, do a check on just how 'laddish' or locker room your group's language and topics are...

Oh, and shower, change clothes and open a window...

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[LordEntrails]

As [MENTION=26664]satbunny[/MENTION] says, look to your own behavior. It doesn't mean it is wrong, it just means that it's not the environment or the game that the women you have invited care to partake it.

It's probably all about conflict (in game and out), but as said, ask the women. They can tell you better than we can.

 

[Igwilly]

I think it depends on the specific woman, to be honest. Averages are good, but they have limits.
About player’s girlfriends/boyfriends leaving: this happens everywhere, all the time. Many (not saying most) boyfriends/girlfriends aren’t just interested in the game and just want to please their loved one. Like when couples go shopping clothes even If one of them doesn’t like to.
About the other comments: for God’s sake, with whom people are playing anyway?

 

[Morrus]

You answered your own question.

Given the two different people you described, if you want the former to play then cut down on the drama between players, and if you want the latter to play, cut down on hack and slash dungeons. Like you said.

For the other people who left your game I have no suggestions, knowing nothing about them. Maybe ask them why they left?


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[cmad1977]

I think it's less about keeping women in the game and more about keeping those specific players.

But not making d#%k jokes seems to help our table.


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[Blue]

My sister plays once in a while, and she loves court intrigue and drama, but when I did a traditional hack-and-slash dungeon, she got bored and complained.

Players, regardless of gender, have their interests and also the things that bore them. I love heavy RP and could spend a night that doesn't advance plot at all but has great intra-party drama - and that would bore some people to tears. I also like fasted paced but very challenging combat, and that that's also not some players cup of tea, especially when you leave the murderhobo area around D&D-like games.

It sounds like you found what one player (your sister) liked, but instead wanted to run a different type of campaign. That's fine and your choice, but at that point the issue is "I want to play this, either enjoy it or leave". You said how to keep her, you just need to do it, or decide not to.

Again, that's not anything about gender, it's about the player interests. If you can cater to what your players like and enjoy running it, they are more likely to stay.

 

[Igwilly]

I think it's less about keeping women in the game and more about keeping those specific players.

But not making d#%k jokes seems to help our table.


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That’s one reason why I find these “etiquette tips to woman playing in your table” to be quite strange: I’m a man and even so I cut down those kind of talks when I DM, with or without woman. However, I don’t particularly like them anyway, so there’s that.
Not coming to the meeting looking like garbage is also mandatory if the gaming will happen at my house. In addition, we pick the best place of the house.
Which leads to one of my comments: [MENTION=6874058]Calithorne[/MENTION], you shouldn’t blame yourself for many (but not most) of these quits. Many boyfriends/girlfriends try to play RPG but they don’t actually like it: they’re just doing that for their lover. Just like when a couple goes to a barbecue despite one of them being vegan (and now the barbecue needs salad).

 

[Eltab]

My Tiamat group had a boyfriend / girlfriend pair where the girlfriend quit coming when they broke up.

She had brought a friend who played only once. I blame the fact that we were L5+ at the time, not running easy-to-understand characters. Plus her Fighter's AC was silly-low, she kept getting clobbered. (I still owe the friend a plate with the mosaic-chimera's dragon head on it. Because she got in the killing blow.)