RealAlHazred
Frumious Flumph (Your Grace/Your Eminence)
So, I've been converting elements from the various humor articles in old Dragon magazines (a lot of them April Fools' material) into 5th edition. I had to start by making a list:
I don't intend to do the whole list (Good Lord!) but a lot of them have hidden gaming potential, in my opinion, and it would be a shame for them to be consigned to the dustbin of the past.
Anyway, I've been converting them, and thought this thread might be a good place to link the stuff I've completed. Please feel free to comment suggestions, criticisms, or (if you like) encouragement.
| Year | Mon | Periodical | # | Article | Author | Pgs | Notes |
|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|
| 1975 | Aut | The Strategic Review | V1 #3 | Monster Reference Table Addition, Hostile & Benign Creatures | Wesley D. Ives | 3 | Monsters: buydras, drolls, green granules, grifferees, hippygriffs, hobnoblins, umpyrs, weregamers |
| 1976 | Apr | The Strategic Review | V2 #2 | Creature Features: The Denebian Slime Devil | Unknown | 15 | Monster: Denebian slime devil |
| 1976 | Oct | Dragon | 3 | The New Category: Jesters! | Charles Carner, William Cannon & Pete Simon | 28-30 | Class: Jester |
| 1976 | Dec | Dragon | 4 | Miscellaneous Treasure, Magic, Weapons, Artifacts and Monsters — Additions, Omissions, Corrections, Changes, Deletions, Variations and Otherwise Confusing Alterations | Gary Jaquet | 21 | Monsters: creeping crud, dice lice; Magic Items: potion of C2H5OH, ring of wedding; Spells: amnesia, armageddon, detect bs, egomania, kill with kindness, magic missile (Mark I), magic missile (Mark II), magic missile (Mark III), spell of (expletive deleted); Weapons: bi-labial fricative, breath of death |
| 1979 | Apr | Dragon | 24 | Narcisstics | Jon Pitchford; Darrel Plant | 27 | Monsters: male narcisstics (jocks), female narcisstics (groupies) |
| 1979 | Apr | Dragon | 24 | The Infamous Miscellaneous Monster | Rodford E. Smith | 27 | Monsters: the infamous miscellaneous monster |
| 1980 | Mar | Dragon | 35 | The Lighter Side | Allen Hammack | 5, 38 | Magic Items: ring of three witches, cube of farce, carpet of frying, wand of lightening, robe of blending, rod of cancellation, brassiere of defense, manual of gollums, arrow of slaying, arrow of sleighing; Monster: minionions of Set |
| 1980 | Apr | Dragon | 36 | The Dragon #36½: New Monsters to Scare You Silly | Various | 26 | Monsters: the DM; Keebler elves |
| 1980 | Apr | Dragon | 36 | The Dragon #36½: Bazaar of the Ordinary | Unknown | 28 | Magic Items: shoes of walking; grounds of coffee; web of cob; caps of bottling |
| 1980 | Apr | Dragon | 36 | The Dragon #36½: This Month's Module | Unknown | 28 | Adventure: one room dungeon |
| 1980 | May | Dragon | 37 | Leomund's Tiny Hut: Presenting... the Monties! | Len Lakofka | 16 | The Monty Haul Pantheon: Monty Haul (Mr. Excessive), Gilda Quicksilver, Vard-Meta-Ali (The Walking Face), Globkuz (The Putrid Pile), Perrynoyia (The Ghastly Visage) |
| 1981 | Apr | Dragon | 48 | Dragon #48½: The Character that Really Counts | Dean Coldham | 15 | Class: Accountant |
| 1981 | Apr | Dragon | 48 | Dragon #48½: Saturday Morning Monsters | Various | 18-19 | Monsters: Bugs Bunny; Daffy Duck; Popeye; Rocky and Bullwinkle; Dudley Do-Right of the Mounties |
| 1981 | Oct | Dragon | 54 | Orcwardness | Ataniel Annyn Noel | 77 | Spells: p’un in-tendid, spontaneous superior joke, miasma nicotiniana, the dread Havana stench, power word: water, punch in the teeth, spell of reiteration, interruptus idioticus, distant honeymoon, pigskin worship, compulsory attendance of opera, miniature metal monster, illusion of total absolute universal wisdom, spell of anecdotage; Magic Items: pipe of reeking, junque fude, wand of celery, ring of engagement, ring of binding, the Lost Book |
| 1982 | Apr | Dragon | 60 | Gaming Magazine: The Jester | Roger E. Moore | 45 | Class: Jester |
| 1982 | Apr | Dragon | 60 | Gaming Magazine: Diarmuid's Last Jest | Arthur Collins | 48 | Class: Bardic special ability |
| 1982 | Apr | Dragon | 60 | Gaming Magazine: Midgets in the Earth | Roger E. Moore | 50 | NPCs: Idi "Little Daddy" Snitmin (kobold fighter), Eubeen Hadd (halfling thief), Morc the Orc (orc idiot) |
| 1982 | Apr | Dragon | 60 | Gaming Magazine: Dragon's Bestiary | Various | 54 | Monsters: valley giant; Donald Duck; the Tasmanian devil; the Martian; baseball bugbears; werebeaver |
| 1983 | Apr | Dragon | 72 | Duh Jock | Jon Mattson | 50 | Class: Jock (Fighter subclass) |
| 1983 | Apr | Dragon | 72 | Spells for Everyone | L. Creede Lambard; Jerry Stoddard | 51, 49 | Spells: monster summoning ½, Bigby's insulting hand, Wombat's tiny hut, feign death ½, comprehend languages ½, tongues ½, insect plague ½, summon thunderstorm ½, find the path ½, disappear ½, purify food ½, commune ½ |
| 1984 | Apr | Dragon | 84 | The Twofold Talisman - Adventure One: The Heart of Light | Various | 43-53 | Adventure: tournament module with groan-inducing puns and jokes, part 1 |
| 1984 | May | Dragon | 85 | The Twofold Talisman - Adventure Two: The Ebon Stone | Various | 43-52 | Adventure: tournament module with groan-inducing puns and jokes, part 2 |
| 1985 | Apr | Dragon | 96 | There Can Never Be Too Many Dragons, Right? | Various | 45, 53 | Monsters: "What's New?" dragon; quazar dragon |
| 1985 | Apr | Dragon | 96 | The Meanest of Monsters | Craig Kraus | 46, 51 | Monsters: killer dungeon master; sleep-inducing dungeon master |
| 1985 | Apr | Dragon | 96 | It Takes All Kinds… | Adda Littlemore | 52-53 | Article: races of the NEIGHBORHOOD OF FRED Fantastically Complete Game Setting™: Humans, Kobolds, Fairies, Goblins, Biters, and Boggies |
| 1985 | May | Polyhedron | 23 | Ultimists: The nadir of new classes | E. Gary Gygax | 6-7 | Class: Ultimists |
| 1985 | May | Polyhedron | 23 | Why Gargoyles Don't Have Wings (But Should) | David Collins | 7 | Essay |
| 1985 | May | Polyhedron | 23 | The Lighter Side of Encounters | Skip Williams | 8-11 | Humor Encounters from TSR Staffers' Campaigns |
| 1985 | May | Polyhedron | 23 | Punnishments to fit the crime | Frank Mentzer | 11 | Groan-inducing puns |
| 1985 | May | Polyhedron | 23 | Dungeonsongs | David Collins & Steve Schaeffer | 21 | Parody song lyrics |
| 1985 | May | Polyhedron | 23 | Excerpts From the BooK oF Mischievous Magic | Frank Mentzer | 22-23 | Magic items rejected from The Book of Marvellous Magic: awl of the above, awl inn, awl out, ball, foot, bottle of boos, can of spinach, canister of curses, censer of conduct, cheese of odors, cheese of vile odors, drum, bass, drum, snare, lute, cool hand, lute skywalker, pie of four-and-twenty blackbirds, pie of raspberries, pie of rhubarb, rattle of shaking and rolling, stocking of elf summoning, stocking of mystery, tarts of accusation, tarts of enticement, tarts of a summer's day, violin rack, yoke, practical |
| 1985 | May | Polyhedron | 23 | Dispel Confusion | [br /] | 24-25 | Humorous Answers to Game Questions |
| 1985 | May | Polyhedron | 23 | "Zee Chef" | Bruce Heard | 26-30 | Class: Chef; Spells: cocoademon, conjure hunger & thirst, cream tarts, create condiments, create wine, dancing bites, edible glamour, explosive prunes, fast foods, food fight, food trap, fools foods, fry, gourmet touch, locate food, magic jam, mashmorph, pepper cloud, preserve food & drink, read culinary magic, simulacrumb, spaghetti curse, spectral smell, spice, spiritual tenderizer, stuff, sudden craving, transmute stone to jelly beans |
| 1985 | May | Polyhedron | 23 | The Male of the Species | Frank Mentzer | 30 | Monster: Emezons (male Amazons) |
| 1986 | May | Polyhedron | 29 | The Lighter Side of Encounters II | Skip Williams | 6-8 | Humor Encounters from TSR Staffers' Campaigns |
| 1986 | May | Polyhedron | 29 | The Camel's Nose | Michael D. Selinker | 9-24 | Adventure: Valley Elves accompany a talking camel to an oasis; Monsters: whirling dervish, werecamel |
| 1986 | May | Polyhedron | 29 | The Ecology of Tiamat the Dragon | Michael D. Selinker | 25- | Ecology: the chromatic dragon |
| 1986 | May | Polyhedron | 29 | Fractured Spells | Rick Reid | 26-27 | Spellbooks: My Prayer Book, My Outdoors Handbook, Silly Spells for Sappy Sorcerers; Spells: continual lice, control temper 10' radius, defect magic, detect chum, detect snores and fits, dissect evil, exercise, fold person, Leopold's tiny mutt, neutralize person, pass without taste, purify fools and drunks, shenanigan, soap trick, unkind familiar |
| 1986 | May | Polyhedron | 29 | Gods of the Gamma World Game | James M. Ward | 28-29 | Gamma World Pantheon: Ren (Man of the Century), Grondor the Meek (A Radioactive Thing), Tubor the Unstoppable (Robot), Trask of the Green Silences (Intelligenc Plant), Whimper the Punished (Humanoid Mutant) |
| 1986 | May | Polyhedron | 29 | The Savage Sword of Lugnut the Barbarian | Roger E. Moore | 30 | Fiction |
| 1986 | Jul | Polyhedron | 30 | Fletcher's Corner | Michael Przytarski | 23 | Other half-race combinations |
| 1987 | Mar | Dungeon | 4 | Fluffy goes to Heck | Rick Reid | 28-40 | Adventure: the cute little dog Fluffy has been kidnapped; Magic Items: Heckronomicon, magical mirror; Spell: flesh to Rocky; Monsters: beatnik zombies, cow of ill omen, Darn (Duke of Heck), gummy worms, Jujubee (Demon of Heck), little devils, puppet of Heck, rabid gophers, soap dragon |
| 1987 | Apr | Dragon | 120 | Enraged Glaciers & Ghouls: Spells for Everyone: Part II | Alan Webster | 10 | Spells: air-water-fire walk ½, alarm ½, detect life ½, detect poison ½, dream ½, find traps ½, fly ½, haste ½, mind blank ½, move earth ½, neutralize poison ½, Smucker's transformation ½, speak with animals-plants-stone-monsters-dead ½, spell immunity ½, water breathing ½, wish ½ |
| 1987 | Apr | Dragon | 120 | Enraged Glaciers & Ghouls: The Pun is Mightier Than the Sword | Steven P. King | 12-13 | Class: Jester special ability |
| 1987 | Apr | Dragon | 120 | Enraged Glaciers & Ghouls: Dining Out in the Hells | Jonathan Edelstein | 16-17 | Monsters: Ronnell Maughdonnell, Count of the Hells; nonservus (lesser devil) |
| 1987 | Apr | Dragon | 120 | Enraged Glaciers & Ghouls: Not Found in Any Stores! | James MacDougall | 18 | Magic Items: rod of lordly might-or-might-not; pipes of the brewers; manual of trendy and commercially-lucrative exercise; onyx ball; toothpicks of lightning; staff on strike-ing; gem of not-too-brightness; manual of plush golems |
| 1987 | Apr | Dragon | 120 | Enraged Glaciers & Ghouls: Urban Blight Made Easy | Rick Reid | 22 | Locations: Shippy's Bait and Tackle; Madame Zuza's Bread and Fortunes; Realm of Junk; Gristle's Butcher Shop; Bobo Watson's Chicken Emporium |
| 1987 | Jul | Polyhedron | 36 | On the Road to The Living City | Jean Rabe and Harold Johnson | 26-28 | NPC: Krinklespine (magic shop proprietor); Magic Items: +1 chaotic good short sword, crystal of warning, dragon teeth, eye of the eagle, flying carpet, gauntlet of ogre power, ring of two wishes, scroll of protection for lycanthropes, shoe of leaping and tumbling, unknown potions |
| 1987 | Aug | Dragon | 124 | New Front-End Alignments | Rich Stump | 44 | Alignments: chaotic crybaby (CC), chaotic diehard (CD), chaotic everywhere (CEv), chaotic hot-shot (CHS), chaotic stupid (CSt), chaotic suicidal (CSu), lawful bored (LB), lawful goody-goody (LGG), lawful idiot (LId), lawful ignored (LIg), lawful liar (LL), lawful serious (LS), neutral absent (NA), neutral confused (NC), neutral dietosser (ND), neutral montyhaul (NM), neutral puppet (NP), neutral self-centered (NSC), neutral woundwailer (NW) |
| 1988 | Apr | Dragon | 132 | Bazaar of the Bizarre | Stewart Wieck | 6 | Magic item: chainsword +3 |
| 1988 | May | Polyhedron | 41 | Fun in Games: Spells and Societies | Rick Reid | 6, 30 | Factions: Secret Sisterhood of Spellcasters; Spells for Fighters: draw blood, protection From blows, sack of holding, think |
| 1988 | Jun | Dragon | 134 | Bazaar of the Bizarre | E. Paul Tobin | 42 | Jester Magic items: blowgun of wild emotions, exalted book of ethnic humor, extendable band of enjoyment, hula-hoop of the Roller Hoopers, larynx of deafening, magical paddleboards, paddleboard of wondrous transformation, random-target daggers, skates of the Roller Hoopers, tome of the fool, tome of the humorous perspective, yp-yo of fate |
| 1989 | Apr | Dragon | 144 | Still More Outrages From the Mages | John M. Maxstadt | 32, 34, 37, 79 | Magic Item: cylindrical scroll; Spells: find terrain; explosive familiar; invisible runes; wizard’s stalker; Bigby's interposing eye; remove hand; audible curse; hallucinatory glamer; burning mouth; locate hands; detect object; feign invisibility; Drawmij's instant death; magic summons; speak with mud; charm dead; water plant; stone breathing; affect shape; detect normal fires; wall of evil; transmute rock to stone; wall of missiles; minor globe of iron; monster invulnerability; fools summoning III; protection from normal gold |
| 1989 | May | Polyhedron | 45 | Fun in Games: Magic Items and Hermit Crabs | Rick Reid | 26 | Magic Items: ring of carrot protection (15' radius), ring of liquid cooling, ring of toothache control |
| 1989 | Jul | Polyhedron | 46 | Fifty Phrases: Quotes Players Fear Most | Vince Garcia | 5 | Fearsome DM Quotes |
| 1989 | Jul | Polyhedron | 46 | Junk Bonds | Mike Selinker | 6-15 | Adventure: Top Secret/SI mission to Hollywood to the set of the latest movie about lvan Lemming's secret agent, John Stock |
| 1989 | Jul | Polyhedron | 46 | The Living City: Skully's Bar and Bait | Halina Adamski | 16-18 | Locale: Skully's Bar and Bait; NPCs: Skully (8th-level human fighter), Mab Hardbutter (6th-level human thief), Erny the Mop (2nd-level/2nd-level dwarf fighter/thief) |
| 1989 | Jul | Polyhedron | 46 | The Living City: Embrol Sludge's Eatery and Shell Shoppe | Randall W. Lemon | 19-22, 30 | Locale: Embrol Sludge's Eatery and Shell Shoppe; NPCs: Embrol Sludge (5th Level human fighter), Radea (0-level half-aquatic-elf), Buddy (1st-evel human fighter) |
| 1989 | Jul | Polyhedron | 46 | The Bureaucrat: A New NPC for Your Cities | Jefferson Hankla | 24-27 | Class: Bureaucrat; Spells: blacklist, create bureau, create major law, create minor law, create office, create red tape, detect lie, entangle with red tape, fill in the form, find the file, lose the file, make coffee, sharpen pencil, stamp the form, summon form |
| 1990 | Apr | Dragon | 156 | (Not Necessarily the) Monstrous Compendium | Various | 10-12, 14-15, 18-20 | Monsters: blink wooly mammoth; death sheep; gello monster; killer spruce; man-drake; paper dragon; pigeontoad; pink dragon; tickler; tin golem; unicow; werelagomorph |
| 1990 | Apr | Dragon | 156 | Yet Even More (Gods Forbid) Outrages From the Mages | John M. Maxstadt | 27 | Magic Items: ring of spell "turning"; ring of Hunan influence; staff of striking (Local 531); candle of convocation; rug of mothering; omelet of the planes; medallion of EST; net of sneering; graffiti bottle; censor of controlling air elementals; hammer +3, dwarf thrower; helm of brilliance, 40 Watt; liar of building; robe of blending (Waring 3-speed); robe of useless items |
| 1991 | Apr | Dragon | 168 | Merty's Manual of Magical Merchandise | Robin C. Ashmore; Michele Batter | 15-16 | Magic Items: Merty's marvelous marbles; Merty's mystic mustard; Merty's magnificent mattress; Merty's multiplanar mushrooms; Merty's mysterious mug; Merty's masterful mufflers; Merty's munificent matches; Merty's mmm-mmm! muskmelons; Merty's miraculous mistmaker; Merty's mud masque; Merty's masculine macho-musk; Merty's musical menagerie; Merty's magical markers |
| 1991 | Apr | Dragon | 168 | Bazaar of the Bizarre | William Wilson Goodson, Jr. | 18 | Magic items: mirror of sophistication; ring of ice; elixir of additional weaponry; elixir of reduction; scroll of transmutation; orb of distant viewing |
| 1993 | Apr | Dragon | 192 | Weapons of Mass Destruction: On Sale Now! | Matthew Webber | 23-26, 27 | Spelljammer Weapons: Neg's wondrous power flail; Nimf's phlogiston fire-bombs; Dalla's mechanical lightning arc; Dori's buzz-bomb; Krith's crossbow blizzard |
| 1994 | Apr | Dragon | 204 | Arcane Lore | Matt Posner | 22, 24 | Spellbook: The Crazed Book of Mog; Spells: gain weight; wake-up call; Macho's uncontrollable hideous belching; Pelf's rancid arrow; hold portal open; hallucinatory murrain; wall of paper; teleport without awareness; power word kill rodents |
| 1995 | Apr | Dragon | 216 | Bazaar of the Bizarre | Steven Miller | 10-14 | Spellbooks: Bringing Out the Wizard in You: A Twelve Step Program; Social Advancement Through the Selective Use of Charm and Disintegrate Spells; The Adventurer's Companion: A Do-It-Yourself Indestructible Spell Book; Magic Items: invisible ring; ring of destruction; ring of the eagle; ring of fashion; ring of ideas; ring of circular curses; ring of gender confusion; ring of impact; ring of kindness; ring of languages |
| 1995 | Apr | Dragon | 216 | April Fool's Faxions | Tim Beach | 22-24, 26, 28 | Planescape Factions: The Beautification League; The Free Flora Collective; The Herbivorous Assembly; The Wizards of the Black Teddy; The Apathetic Alliance |
| 1996 | Apr | Dragon | 228 | The Dragon's Worstiary: Golems | Anne Brown | 38-41 | Monsters: chocolate golem; chia golem; plush golem |
| 1996 | Apr | Dragon | 228 | Rogue's Gallery: Gangsters of the Underdark | Keith “Pinball” Strohm | 52-59 | NPCs: Gnormahlenvaey “Squeaky” Catoneriehn (7th-level gnome thief), Vikhrumn “100 Gold” Coll (beholder), Brikhalna “Dutch” Ipprszhen (illithid businessman), Felyndiira “Mad Money” Shi'narrvha (12th-level mage/drow matriarch), Gray'shivnarien “The Fiddler” Taliain (11 th-level drow bard), Sir Elliot of Kness (14th-level paladin) |
| 1997 | Aug | Dragon | 238 | Mommy Dearest | Lawrence R. Wenzel | 8-14 | NPC Class: Mother; NPC Prestige Class: Fairy Godmother; Spells: borrow magic, change diaper, detect worth, power word: middle name |
| 1997 | Aug | Dragon | 238 | Gangsters of the Underdark: Waterdeep's Most Wanted! | Keith Francis Strohm | 34-40 | NPCs: Da Pen (Underdark Godfather), “Tommy Gun” Tortello (exclaustrated 7th-level Monk), Master Furli (4th-level squire (fighter)), Vanyard “The Fox” (9th-level thief [investigator[), Danna the Skull (9th-level necromancer [anatomist]) |
| 2000 | Apr | Dragon | 270 | Arcane Lore - Greyhawk Grimoires | Robert S. Mullin | 60-62 | Spellbook: Zagig's Comedicon; Spells: Zagig's canned laughter; Zagig's amusing alteration; Zagig's gender shift |
| 2000 | Apr | Dragon | 270 | Giants in the Earth: Nodwick & Company | Aaron Williams | 86-90 | NPCs: Artax (7th-level human wizard), Yeagar (8th-level human fighter), Piffany (8th-level human cleric), Nodwick (21st-level henchman) |
| 2001 | Apr | Dragon | 282 | Heroes of the Underdork: The Muskrat | Phil Masters | 54-55 | Race: Muskrat |
| 2001 | Apr | Dragon | 282 | Snack Monsters | Mike Mayer | 56-59 | Monsters: pizza slice; gummi bear; lurking dorito; jolly rancher; pepsoid |
| 2002 | Apr | Dragon | 294 | Adding Insult to Injury | Robin D. Laws | 58-62 | Reputation and Repartee system; Feats: bully; cunning wit; diplomat; enhanced reputation; face in the crowd; rapier wit; scathing wit; shatter confidence; sly; sterling reputation; thorny reputation |
| 2002 | Apr | Dragon | 294 | Bazaar of the Truly Bizarre: Rummage Sale | Ed Stark | 80-82 | Equipment: flaming shield; ready-drink helm; extension spear; stilt boots; extender; gnome backpack; false hook |
| 2002 | Apr | Dragon | 294 | Gamers Vs. Girlfriends: No honey… I'm At the Store | Cory Herndon | 84-85 | Monster: significant other |
| 2002 | Apr | Dragon | 294 | Play With Your Feats | Mat Smith | 86 | Feats: dodge food run; evade chipping in; snatch last soda; lightning dibs; repeat die roll; avoid random damage; seat jockey; avoid bookkeeping; adjust miniature |
| 2005 | Apr | Dragon | 330 | Gaining Prestige - The Jester | Richard Pett | 74-77 | Prestige Class: Jester |
| 2005 | Apr | Dragon | 330 | Class Acts: Commoner - Flaws for Commoners | Ted Ragonstaff | 87 | Flaws: chicken infested; corpse; delicious; dirt farmer; incomprehensible accent; nagging cough; peasant hat; pig bond; unimportant NPC; weresheep; XP farm |
| 2006 | Apr | Dragon | 342 | The Ecology of the Adventurer | Tony Moseley | 60-65 | NPC: Morgan Ironwolf (human); Feats (for kobolds): bad decision; dying shriek; elf; volunteer |
| 2009 | Apr | Dragon | 374 | Preview: The Witchalok | Jerry Holkins | 1-3 | Class: Witchalok (Warlock subclass) |
| 2009 | Apr | Dragon | 165 | 2-1/2: Fool's Grove | Logan Bonner; Chris Sims | 1-10 | Adventure |
| 2012 | Apr | Dragon | 410 | Bazaar of the Bizarre: Thingamajigs of the Barrier Peaks | Dave Chalker | 16-22 | Magic Items: powered armor; blaster rifle; chainsaw sword; laser pistol; needler pistol; confusion ray; blue communicator; jet pack; gray security card; wheely sled; singularity grenade; sleep grenade; Malfunction Rules |
| 2013 | Apr | Dragon | 422 | Winning Races: Tinker Gnomes | Daniel Helmick | 9-13 | Race: Tinker Gnome |
I don't intend to do the whole list (Good Lord!) but a lot of them have hidden gaming potential, in my opinion, and it would be a shame for them to be consigned to the dustbin of the past.
Anyway, I've been converting them, and thought this thread might be a good place to link the stuff I've completed. Please feel free to comment suggestions, criticisms, or (if you like) encouragement.
Last edited:
