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[Humour] The Adventures of the A-Team - Story 3?? Aussie posters help please!
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<blockquote data-quote="Inez Hull" data-source="post: 493306" data-attributes="member: 5114"><p><strong>V: Once Trapped, Thrice Furious</strong></p><p></p><p></p><p></p><p><em>The A-Team had entered the orc's den via the tower, and having cleared a few rooms of their minor inconveniences, building their score of adventure points and gathering some incidental treasure along the way, now they were deep underground. This was the life, thump-and-run adventuring at its very best. But where were the orcs? It all seemed far too quiet for everyone’s liking. The group nervously surveyed the next room. You never could be too sure, it looked safe enough, your average looking library, but...</em></p><p></p><p>“What’ d orcs want with a library?” queried Shana.</p><p></p><p>“Dungeon filler”, announced Wilson with authority.</p><p></p><p>“Yeah, looks al’ right - plush. Safe”, Spud sauntered into the room, parking himself in a comfy chair. They all followed, Shana preening herself in the mirror above the fireplace.</p><p></p><p>“I’ll check for secret doors, then.” Zeek offered. He began diligently searching the bookcases that lined the walls, plucking heavy volumes, twisting ornaments and generally re-arranging everything in a desperate attempt to prove how useful he really could be, at a pinch.</p><p></p><p>“Wonder what knowledge these books contain?” Wilson thumbed through the musty books.</p><p></p><p>“Er, fellows, there is a maiden in distress awaiting our rescue”, Virgil reminded them, chaffing to get on with it.</p><p></p><p>“Maybe there’s a secret door behind this cabinet...”, mumbled Zeek to himself.</p><p></p><p>“There is a perfectly good door here”, suggested Virgil, pointing to the obvious exit in the far wall of the room.</p><p></p><p>“Aha, found it!” Zeek spun around, beaming proudly at his discovery of a secret passage revealed behind a trophy cabinet that swung away from the wall.</p><p></p><p>Spud leapt from his chair and peaked within. “A secret passage!” he announced.</p><p></p><p>The rest of the party crowded around the halfling, patting him on the back. “You’ve done it again, Spud”, Mango praised the thief.</p><p></p><p>“I found it!” Zeek chided.</p><p></p><p>“Don’t know what we’d do without you, Spud”, said Wilson, “is it trapped?”</p><p></p><p>Zeek’ s fat chin wobbled, his lips quivered, tears gathered in his hurt eyes. “I’ll check for another one, then, shall I?”</p><p></p><p>“Shush, blobbo, Spud’s looking for traps!” hissed Shana.</p><p></p><p>Zeek, disconsolate, wandered off to the other side of the library as the others waited with hushed voices for Spud to finish his expert search of the opened doorway.</p><p></p><p>“Safe as houses!” Spud announced, his ugly mug grinning up at the others as he stepped backwards into the passage and then promptly disappeared through the floor. A short scream ended with a loud splash.</p><p></p><p>“Good call”, said Wilson dryly. Wilson, Virgil, Shana and Mango peered over into the pit.</p><p></p><p>“Folding floor, deep hole, your standard pit trap”, Mango announced with the voice of experience.</p><p></p><p>From below came a heartfelt wail of agony. “Acid, I’ve dropped into a vat of bloody acid!”</p><p></p><p>“Nasty variation, that”, Mango observed.</p><p></p><p>“It’ll sting a bit”, said Wilson.</p><p></p><p>“Might improve his looks, though”, snigered Shana.</p><p></p><p>“Should we not throw him a rope?” suggested Virgil.</p><p></p><p>“Bugger it! I’ll climb out meself”, Spud’s voice came up from below. The burning thief began to climb the pit wall.</p><p></p><p>On the opposite side of the room, Zeek was dancing a little excited jig. He had found something again; a lever beside the fireplace. He turned to call to his comrades, but then remembering how they’d been so rude to him, Zeek thought better of it and decided to pull the lever all by himself. “This time, I’ll take the glory”, he mumbled.</p><p></p><p>Spud was nearly to the lip of the pit, his pain-wracked body dripping acid that hissed and sizzled as it burned through clothes, armour and flesh.</p><p></p><p>“Nearly there!” Virgil encouraged the little half-man.</p><p></p><p>Suddenly there was a loud twang, the sound of old springs that had long laid dormant protesting as they came to life. The floor section of the pit trap closed, knocking Spud back down into the hole screaming.</p><p></p><p>“Sh#t”, said Wilson, “the trap is resetting!” The muffled sound of Spud splashing into the vat of acid again, was followed by the halfling’ s forlorn screams.</p><p></p><p>Across the room, Zeek puzzled over the depressed lever. “Strange”, he cogitated, “doesn’t seem to do anything.”</p><p></p><p>Back at the secret passage, Mango scratched his head. “Wonder what made the trap re-arm?”</p><p></p><p>As one the group turned to look at Zeek. The cleric stood across the room with a lever in his hand. As one, the group all cried out “Noooo!” as Zeek pushed the lever back up again.</p><p></p><p>In the pit Spud had almost climbed back to the top as the floor to the passage, his roof, swung open yet again, thumping him on the head and sending him crashing backwards... “Aaaargh!”</p><p></p><p>“Bloody hellfire, Zeek”, raged Mango, “are you doing this on purpose?”</p><p></p><p>Zeek shrugged his plump shoulders with a sheepish halfsmile. “I am only trying to help!”</p><p></p><p>A very badly burnt Spud emerged from the pit looking bloody murder at Abel Zeek, poisoned dagger in hand.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Inez Hull, post: 493306, member: 5114"] [b]V: Once Trapped, Thrice Furious[/b] [i]The A-Team had entered the orc's den via the tower, and having cleared a few rooms of their minor inconveniences, building their score of adventure points and gathering some incidental treasure along the way, now they were deep underground. This was the life, thump-and-run adventuring at its very best. But where were the orcs? It all seemed far too quiet for everyone’s liking. The group nervously surveyed the next room. You never could be too sure, it looked safe enough, your average looking library, but...[/i] “What’ d orcs want with a library?” queried Shana. “Dungeon filler”, announced Wilson with authority. “Yeah, looks al’ right - plush. Safe”, Spud sauntered into the room, parking himself in a comfy chair. They all followed, Shana preening herself in the mirror above the fireplace. “I’ll check for secret doors, then.” Zeek offered. He began diligently searching the bookcases that lined the walls, plucking heavy volumes, twisting ornaments and generally re-arranging everything in a desperate attempt to prove how useful he really could be, at a pinch. “Wonder what knowledge these books contain?” Wilson thumbed through the musty books. “Er, fellows, there is a maiden in distress awaiting our rescue”, Virgil reminded them, chaffing to get on with it. “Maybe there’s a secret door behind this cabinet...”, mumbled Zeek to himself. “There is a perfectly good door here”, suggested Virgil, pointing to the obvious exit in the far wall of the room. “Aha, found it!” Zeek spun around, beaming proudly at his discovery of a secret passage revealed behind a trophy cabinet that swung away from the wall. Spud leapt from his chair and peaked within. “A secret passage!” he announced. The rest of the party crowded around the halfling, patting him on the back. “You’ve done it again, Spud”, Mango praised the thief. “I found it!” Zeek chided. “Don’t know what we’d do without you, Spud”, said Wilson, “is it trapped?” Zeek’ s fat chin wobbled, his lips quivered, tears gathered in his hurt eyes. “I’ll check for another one, then, shall I?” “Shush, blobbo, Spud’s looking for traps!” hissed Shana. Zeek, disconsolate, wandered off to the other side of the library as the others waited with hushed voices for Spud to finish his expert search of the opened doorway. “Safe as houses!” Spud announced, his ugly mug grinning up at the others as he stepped backwards into the passage and then promptly disappeared through the floor. A short scream ended with a loud splash. “Good call”, said Wilson dryly. Wilson, Virgil, Shana and Mango peered over into the pit. “Folding floor, deep hole, your standard pit trap”, Mango announced with the voice of experience. From below came a heartfelt wail of agony. “Acid, I’ve dropped into a vat of bloody acid!” “Nasty variation, that”, Mango observed. “It’ll sting a bit”, said Wilson. “Might improve his looks, though”, snigered Shana. “Should we not throw him a rope?” suggested Virgil. “Bugger it! I’ll climb out meself”, Spud’s voice came up from below. The burning thief began to climb the pit wall. On the opposite side of the room, Zeek was dancing a little excited jig. He had found something again; a lever beside the fireplace. He turned to call to his comrades, but then remembering how they’d been so rude to him, Zeek thought better of it and decided to pull the lever all by himself. “This time, I’ll take the glory”, he mumbled. Spud was nearly to the lip of the pit, his pain-wracked body dripping acid that hissed and sizzled as it burned through clothes, armour and flesh. “Nearly there!” Virgil encouraged the little half-man. Suddenly there was a loud twang, the sound of old springs that had long laid dormant protesting as they came to life. The floor section of the pit trap closed, knocking Spud back down into the hole screaming. “Sh#t”, said Wilson, “the trap is resetting!” The muffled sound of Spud splashing into the vat of acid again, was followed by the halfling’ s forlorn screams. Across the room, Zeek puzzled over the depressed lever. “Strange”, he cogitated, “doesn’t seem to do anything.” Back at the secret passage, Mango scratched his head. “Wonder what made the trap re-arm?” As one the group turned to look at Zeek. The cleric stood across the room with a lever in his hand. As one, the group all cried out “Noooo!” as Zeek pushed the lever back up again. In the pit Spud had almost climbed back to the top as the floor to the passage, his roof, swung open yet again, thumping him on the head and sending him crashing backwards... “Aaaargh!” “Bloody hellfire, Zeek”, raged Mango, “are you doing this on purpose?” Zeek shrugged his plump shoulders with a sheepish halfsmile. “I am only trying to help!” A very badly burnt Spud emerged from the pit looking bloody murder at Abel Zeek, poisoned dagger in hand. [/QUOTE]
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[Humour] The Adventures of the A-Team - Story 3?? Aussie posters help please!
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