I need a shoulder to cry on...My pity party's pretty pathetic.

[Space monkey]

The next question is, how do I make the game fun for myself. Obviously, I'm not having a good time if I'm perpetually stressed about the quality of my campaign. What can I do to make it better for me?

now thats the real question, it's the balance. So that beg the question what takes the fun out of it for you? is it just stresing over the fact you have no DM Ego. if So relax, and make it more fun for you. or is it because the players are not making the game fun for You, it is a two way street. If you can figure this out and keep the players and you both happy, then you'll have reason to gain and ego.

 

[S'mon]

If you're stressing out over the rules you might consider a lighter version of D&D, like Rules Cyclopedia or Castles & Crusades. What would you say was harming your enjoyment?

 

[FireLance]

Read DMG II. It's got a section on this. Essentially, it boils down to: if your players are having fun, you're a good DM, even if what you're doing does not conform to your idea of what a "good" DM should do.

Jdvn1 has the right idea, but it might not always be the best approach to come straight out and ask them. Instead, notice what gets them hooked into the game: what makes them lean forward with excitement in their eyes and hang onto what you're saying (note: it may be different things for different players). Give them more of that.

 

[Wolv0rine]

Thanx for all the support guys. All the advice and commiseration have made me feel much better. I was actually considering quitting my game, but if everything you all are telling me is true, then I'll stick it out.

The next question is, how do I make the game fun for myself. Obviously, I'm not having a good time if I'm perpetually stressed about the quality of my campaign. What can I do to make it better for me?

Well, the simple answer is to have someone else DM for a short time. Explain that you want to take a short break from DMing, and that you plan to continue your campaign again after the break (so they don't worry that you don't want to DM anymore, or that the campaign they're enjoying is over). Ideally what you'd see if that when the other person is DMing, they aren't doing any better than you are. You'll see their mistakes and strengths, and be able to both learn from them while at the same time see where your own strengths lie in comparison. Like everyone else has said, if your players are having a good time, you're doing it right for your group and there's nothing to stress over. What you have to do is find a way to realize that for yourself.

 

[Rel]

The next question is, how do I make the game fun for myself. Obviously, I'm not having a good time if I'm perpetually stressed about the quality of my campaign. What can I do to make it better for me?

I think you need to sit down someplace quiet and think hard about the parts of the game that you get the most enjoyment out of. Then write those down. Then call all your players and either schedule a separate meeting or indicate to them that you're going to devote all or part of the next session to a little chat about your GMing style and preferences and their playing styles and preferences.

At this meeting I would really try hard to get them to indicate the parts of the game that are the best for them and the parts they don't like so much. Then see how this matches against your own preferences and in the future you can plan games to minimize the stuff that most of the group doesn't like and focus on the stuff that everybody loves.

I really can't strongly enough recommend either the DMGII or Robin Laws' Robins Laws of Good Gamemastering for the purposes of identifying the types and styles of players and what sorts of gaming formats are going to suit them the best.

 

[SweeneyTodd]

I've gotta be the world's worst DM. I can't ever remember rules, I never plan anything out, and I give way too much treasure.

Yet, my players enjoy their games, the pacing is about right, the action flows, and there's just enough intrigue to keep the players guessing.

Any advice on how to accentuate the positive and rid myself of the negative?

The positive by itself sounds like a pretty good game to me. Maybe the negatives are things that just aren't important in your game?

Lots of people play D&D as a carefully balanced strategic and tactical challenge. The rules get referenced heavily, advancement is weighed against risk, careful planning is rewarded.

Lots of other people play it as more of a freewheeling adventure. Fun stuff happens, the pace doesn't bog down, the players are having characters act more with their hearts than with their heads.

You can do both in the same campaign. But you don't have to. The way I wrote those two paragraphs above, heck, they sound like different games. They might very well appeal to different players.

There's nothing inherent to running a game that says you have to be a master of the rules. You just need to know the rules well enough that they don't get in the way. You only have to provide enough balance that the players feel challenged but not walked over.

Can you tell us more about your game, specificially the things you are happy and unhappy with? Maybe give an example of a time you were frustrated, and one of a time your players were really enjoying themselves?

As far as making the game more fun and less stressful for you, I think it'd be helpful to separate out what you want from the game with what your players want. Then maybe we can help you find a compromise. If you're feeling overwhelmed by rules and prep time, you might look at either using a simpler rules system, or simplifying D&D further by abstracting things more on your end.

If it's just that you don't feel competent with the rules system, remember this: The rules are there to help you structure an enjoyable session. If you're doing this without certain rules, then by definition you don't need them.

 

[Mystery Man]

I've gotta be the world's worst DM. I can't ever remember rules, I never plan anything out, and I give way too much treasure.

We're always our own worst critic.

Yet, my players enjoy their games, the pacing is about right, the action flows, and there's just enough intrigue to keep the players guessing.

So maybe you're actually doing better than you think?

 

[Mystery Man]

One of the most irritating habits I have:

"What's you're AC again?"

Players are ready to kill me halfway through the session. I've even tried writing them down but forget to look, or they (since they're very high level) have buffs and abilities that constantly change it. I'm thinking about having them make little AC tents to put in front of their character sheets.

I forget to create treasure, so they know when I'm using my treasure generator tablet PC. Drives 'em crazy.

 

[Thornir Alekeg]

The next question is, how do I make the game fun for myself. Obviously, I'm not having a good time if I'm perpetually stressed about the quality of my campaign. What can I do to make it better for me?

First thing is relax. From the sounds of it, you have convinced yourself you are not a great DM.

Rules are just about repetition. Make sure you get the basics down and don't stress over the less used rules. Know how to use Spot, Search, AoOs, have some idea about how to set DCs and you should be OK.

Treasure - this one may be tricky since if you slow the treasure giveaway, the players may find they don't like you as DM as much . Talk to your players about it, don't just shut off the gravy train.

Planning - If you don't need it, don't worry about it. What you can do is what I wish I could do. I plan and plan, and of course the players ruin my plans so I end up having to improvise. I don't think I'm great at improvising so I stress when that happens (and as a result forget or mess up rules). As long as you can keep the players and yourself interested, don't worry. Maybe if you want to try more intricate stories, write up a simple outline, just to keep things straight.

Why do you think you are not having fun? Do you feel you should be challenging the players more? Don't forget that the game isn't you versus them. Figure out what you really enjoy about DMing, and don't worry that maybe you aren't as good as some people.