D&D 5E I need to make a withdraw from the local Treasury

[Degwerks]

There's about 100,000 g.p. sitting in a Kingdom's Treasury that for the most part isn't guarded by anyone of note. As in insanely huge class levels or the like. I'm a person of note in this kingdom and have met and associated with the ruler. I've seen his handwriting and I'll have access to a royal proclamation and a copy of the royal seal on paper soon. I've got a +6 to forge documents too.

I'm 10th level Warlock who has Seeming, Illusory Script, Greater Invisibility, Minor Illusion, Meld With Stone, Darkness, Charming actions, Hypnotic Pattern, Dimension Door, Dispel Magic and Fly. Soon I'll have some access to a means to Teleport to the Treasury while the leader of the kingdom is absent. I'll be nowhere near the kingdom as far as anyone else is concerned and my alibi would be unbreakable for the most part. By the time there is either a successful or failed withdraw attempt by myself, the leader won't possibly find out for quite some time.

My plan (and I hope you folks can advise me on bettering it or another) is to get access to a copy of the Royal seal to make a copy on paper, use Illusory Script to forge several documents in the leader's handwriting, authorizing large withdraws and use Seeming to make myself and a hired crew (porters/muscle) to appear as the legitimate guards and possibly a high level court functionary. My Deception mod would be about a +9 and could also get advantage on any checks. I'll hold out until I'm assured to have a few Teleports available through some hard earned means before I try this out. I'll teleport from my alibi location, sneaking away for a bit so nobody knows whats going on, and arrive with my crew (all of us disguised with Seeming) to the Treasury. I'll present the document (I'll have several) and withdraw a large portion, we'll leave and return with new disguises and I'll be a different known court functionary and do the same thing. Now 100k in gold, (if it's all gold), will weigh 1800 pounds, I can carry 20k magically and will need to have several chests capable of containing & carrying roughly the same amount.

After we manage to pull this off (doubtful but who knows) I'll need to dispose of the crew, loose lips sink ships. Probably teleport them into the air instead of our hideout spot and let them crash to the ground OR tell them we're teleporting to my ship, which is currently about 1/2 mile underwater and let them drown.

There really isn't anything to buy in this campaign (it's not magic heavy with shops or the like) that I could use this gold for, but I really have to try to steal it anyway. It's screaming out to me like the movie Good Fellas or something, walk in bluff, deceive and walk out with cash. The best part is Nobody will suspect me at all, I'll be hundreds of miles away with a rock solid alibi. I could use ideas on leaving a false trail to someone else as a culprit though.

Any ideas on making this heist a sure thing? Where should I stash all this money, I can only carry 20k at a time on me. I'll have to constantly trade in gold for platinum or gems whenever possible. What should I try and do with the money? lol

 

[Downlowd]

Out of curiosity, what alignment are you? Unless you're evil, stealing a bunch of gold that you explicitly say you have little use for and murdering your accomplices afterwards doesn't sound all that heroic. What do the other players at your table think about you wanting to do this?

 

[The Crimson Binome]

Don't assume that teleporting anyone into the air will actually kill them. Falling deals damage, and anyone with more than ten Hit Points can survive a fall from terminal velocity.

 

[Downlowd]

Don't assume that teleporting anyone into the air will actually kill them. Falling deals damage, and anyone with more than ten Hit Points can survive a fall from terminal velocity.

Falling

A fall from a great height is one of the most common hazards facing an adventurer.

At the end of a fall, a creature takes 1d6 bludgeoning damage for every 10 feet it fell, to a maximum of 20d6. The creature lands prone, unless it avoids taking damage from the fall.

Yeah, I'd say it can be pretty deadly from a few hundred feet up. Maybe not to higher level adventurers, but it sounds like he's planning on dropping NPCs, which probably aren't statted like adventurers.

 

[Degwerks]

I'm LE in alignment, the party will never know (I'm never going to tell them until it's way, way later in time that they can't or won't do anything about it), and I'm only going to use some low level npc's to appear as royal guards. I'm pretty sure their hit points won't be much, I've never had a problem finding beggars or common laborers around to do things for me in the past. I'm basically wanting to do this for the giggles and bragging rights later down the road.

 

[Jediking]

Do you have the Charlatan background? You know that guard/vizer/captain/rival who always put you down? I know who you disguise yourself as.

And BE CAREFUL for other adventuring parties, especially the one with that herb-smoking hippy Ranger and his Great Dane companion. They are always meddlin' around...

 

[Downlowd]

I'm LE in alignment, the party will never know (I'm never going to tell them until it's way, way later in time that they can't or won't do anything about it), and I'm only going to use some low level npc's to appear as royal guards. I'm pretty sure their hit points won't be much, I've never had a problem finding beggars or common laborers around to do things for me in the past. I'm basically wanting to do this for the giggles and bragging rights later down the road.

Is your party evil, as well? Do they know you're evil? Are you willing to deal with the consequences of them not liking you being an evil jerk and possibly retaliating?

Honestly, I just don't get it. You don't need to take the money, you just want to do it for the lulz. That's not how a LE character would act, it's how a chaotic stupid character would act.

But hey, if pooping on the game is your thing, go for it.

 

[Degwerks]

Is your party evil, as well? Do they know you're evil? Are you willing to deal with the consequences of them not liking you being an evil jerk and possibly retaliating?

Honestly, I just don't get it. You don't need to take the money, you just want to do it for the lulz. That's not how a LE character would act, it's how a chaotic stupid character would act.

But hey, if pooping on the game is your thing, go for it.

Not entirely sure on the rest of my party's alignment, I think they're fairly good for the most part. Do they know I'm evil? Not really, they know I'm vindictive and opportunistic though. I play my character like a Mobster from the prohibition era.

Stealing the money would be like the ultimate heist title for my character. More of a status symbol, even if nobody knew I did it. The loss of that money wouldn't effect the rest of my party at all, it's not theirs either. Nobody is pooping on the game, even if it is a sandbox game...

 

[GSHamster]

The big issue I see with your plan is that you're doing it in several trips. Your trips can't be close together, otherwise it will be really suspicious. (Court officials X,Y,Z all need 20k gold suddenly?)

Second, I think you're discounting gossip and chatter and courtly intrigue. After your first trip, the guard mentions what happened to his captain, his captain mentions it to his lover, the queen's maid. She mentions it to the queen, the queen tells the king. The court official is called to explain.

Secrecy in a royal court is a lot harder than in other places. Everyone is spying on everyone else, and any unusual actions that are witnessed will become common knowledge quite fast. Within a day of your first withdrawal, everyone in the court, including Official X and the king, will know that Official X was tasked by the king to withdraw 20k gold for some unknown purpose, which will cause massive speculation. What is the king up to? Which faction is gaining that much gold and for what purpose?

So basically, you will draw a lot of attention to the transaction with this method, even if you are not personally identified.

 

[Downlowd]

Not entirely sure on the rest of my party's alignment, I think they're fairly good for the most part. Do they know I'm evil? Not really, they know I'm vindictive and opportunistic though. I play my character like a Mobster from the prohibition era.

Stealing the money would be like the ultimate heist title for my character. More of a status symbol, even if nobody knew I did it. The loss of that money wouldn't effect the rest of my party at all, it's not theirs either. Nobody is pooping on the game, even if it is a sandbox game...

You still fail to recognize that a LE character doesn't steal things, particularly on the scale of which you are stealing from, for "giggles and bragging rights." Evil characters, and LE in particular, would go out of their way to stay under the radar as much as possible. You doing this is going to draw a massive amount of attention to the scene of the crime, setting off who knows what in consequences for you and your party. All because you wanted a laugh. You think Darth Vader, the epitome of LE, would do anything like this?

LE characters have causes they believe in, and their actions are taken to better their cause (and themselves along the way). They don't just do bad things because they're bad, they do them to accomplish something. You explicitly say you don't need anything from this heist, and, to a LE character, bragging rights shouldn't even be on your radar.

But sure man, that's totally not pooping on the spirit of the game. Hopefully, your DM has half a brain and won't allow this to go down as you propose.