I should be flogged...

[Nightchilde-2]

The fact that I'd enjoy it is a separate topic altogether.

I was NPCing the character of one of the players that couldn't make it in my last session, and the group was discussing how to sneak past a group of goblins.

PC: "We should throw a rock and distract them."
Me: "Nah, that only works on beholders."

Anyone else got any quips or puns that they've uttered in-game that they feel they should probably get punished for?

 

[Gerald]

The fact that I'd enjoy it is a separate topic altogether.
Anyone else got any quips or puns that they've uttered in-game that they feel they should probably get punished for?

I was in a Pirates and Plunder game, and while we were preparing to cast off on another voyager, the ref informs us that some well-dressed fellow is racing up the pier toward our ship.

He shouts up to us, "Ahoy! I need to see your captain, quick!"

Without missing a beat, one of the players says, with a perfectly straight face, "I'm sorry, but we don't have a Captain Quick on this ship."

Much groaning and throwing of dice ensued...

 

[diaglo]

one of the fellow players in our last session attempted an innuendo check with the bartender:

elven female bard: i need to do some business. (innuendo)

barkeep: huh? (totally failed check)

me: (pimp hat on to fellow patrons of the bar) the lady elf wants some business.



check out page 19 of the story hour in my sig.

 

[TracerBullet42]

Anyone else got any quips or puns that they've uttered in-game that they feel they should probably get punished for?

Our party was sneaking through the forest were a group of powerful outlaws were taking refuge, and we needed to avoid them.

Me: "Where are they usually at?"
GM: "They don't stay in one place very long."
Me: "Where is this "one place" that they don't stay in?"

It actually got a chuckle or two...

 

[Richards]

Player 1: "Okay, how are we going to split up the loot?"

Me: "Well, you can take the sword, and I'd like the potions, but we'll probably have to take the bag of tricks back into town and donate it to the local orphanage."

Player 1: "...why?"

Me: "Silly rabbit, Trix are for kids!"

He walked right into it!

Johnathan