I'm a bad DM

[Fishbone]

Why? Because whenever people talk about problems as a player or a DM with friends who always blow off sessions and ask for advice I don't sugar coat it.
My way of thinking is screw the problem player. Well, problem person, as Fill in the Blank is too inconsiderate to even play. I understand serious things. Death in the family or significant family problems, illness and financial hardships making it impossible to attend, a forgotten major event or something far beyond the norm. My girlfriend wants to go to a lousy movie with me to commemorate our 38th day together isn't good enough. The haircut schedule isn't good enough. Legally Blonde 2 is on TBS isn't good enough. Not feeling like it but not formally dropping, NEVER good enough. The next piece of advice? Stop coddling the no shows. Stop giving out treasure, and gear, and XP. Its the only way most players will respond to you.

 

[TheEvil]

Okay, I'll bite. How does this make you a bad GM?

 

[Wild Gazebo]

Yeah, those hobbyist players make me sick.

 

[the black knight]

I'm a bad DM too. I never listen to the wants or needs of my players. I always throw CRs at them they can never beat. I deny them XP and dick them out of treasure at every turn. I fudge dice rolls to kill off their most prized characters and then tell them there's no cleric in sight. Their dreams and quests go unfulfilled at each and every session I host.







And yet, they keep coming back for more.

 

[Grymar]

I don't see how someone having a life outside of rpg'ing is a bad thing. My group gets together weekly, but I'd say one out of every four weekends someone has something come up. The only thing we ask is that we plan it in advance so the others can decide to play a person short or cancel the weekend.

My family all lives at least 100 miles from me. If I don't take weekends to visit them once in a while, I'd never see them. You'd suggest I pick a game over my family?

 

[hexgrid]

Also, what does this have to do with WotC?

 

[Blackwind]

I generally agree with the OP. Where I live, there are a lot of players seeking games and very few DMs. I have no room in my group for people who aren't excited about the game. My current policy is that if you are going to miss a session, you have two options:

1. Someone else plays your character. In this case, your character receives 1/2 XP and an equal share of loot. On the other hand, your character might get killed and there would be nothing you could do about it.

2. Your character has the flu or has business to attend to in town. No XP, and probably no loot, unless other PCs are feeling generous.

Fortunately, all the players in my current group are quite enthusiastic and do their darndest not to miss game sessions. In previous campaigns (i.e. in high school) I have had problems with absentee players. If this ever becomes a problem again, I may get a little stricter and reduce missed-session XP to zero. If I ever get a player who misses games left and right, I will probably just ask them to leave.

In general, I like to reward players who are dedicated to the game. In my current game (begun at first level) I offered 100 xp for a 1-2 pg. background and 50 xp for a character sketch. The only player who has not given me a written background and drawing is my girlfriend. Figures.

 

[Dog Moon]

Also, what does this have to do with WotC?

I was wondering that too.

Honestly, if someone continuously didn't show up for misc reasons [especially ones that sound as bad as those you listed], I'm not sure he'd even be gaming in our group any longer. I don't see how getting frustrated with the person and trying to deal with him means yer a bad DM.

In my current group, two of the people have ended up cancelling frequently enough that my friend and I have essentially quit it. It's not fun coming home from work looking forward to gaming and find out it's been cancelled AGAIN.

 

[delericho]

Well, problem person, as Fill in the Blank is too inconsiderate to even play. I understand serious things.

The way I see it, RPGs are a leisure activity, and what people do with their leisure time is their business. If a player isn't going to make it to a session, for whatever reason, then so be it. If said player constantly drops games, I'll speak to them about it, and probably write their character out somehow (to reduce my workload in running the game), but will do it in such a manner that if and when they get back into things the character can come back.

Not feeling like it but not formally dropping, NEVER good enough.

However, I do expect to be informed if a player isn't going to make it to the session. In a world with such easy access to email and mobile phones, there's simply no excuse* for not informing the DM (and the host of the game, if these are different people). Likewise, if the DM (or, again, the host) has to cancel the game, he has to inform all the players. That's simple good manners.

* Well, okay, there are a couple of good excuses. But I've never encountered one, and I've had people simply not show up several times.

The next piece of advice? Stop coddling the no shows. Stop giving out treasure, and gear, and XP. Its the only way most players will respond to you.

IMC, if a player misses a session, but the character is still there, then the character still gets equal XP and treasure, but also faces exactly the same danger as if the player were there. If the PC dies, well that's just too bad.

If the character has been written out, then should the player return he'll have the opportunity to advance the character to the same status as the other PCs (I stick pretty close to the DMG wealth-by-level tables, so we use those), in exactly the same way that a new character would be of the same level as the other PCs.

I don't see that it's the DMs responsibility to teach the players anything.

 

[Gundark]

I don't see how someone having a life outside of rpg'ing is a bad thing. My group gets together weekly, but I'd say one out of every four weekends someone has something come up. The only thing we ask is that we plan it in advance so the others can decide to play a person short or cancel the weekend.

My family all lives at least 100 miles from me. If I don't take weekends to visit them once in a while, I'd never see them. You'd suggest I pick a game over my family?

Well I'm interpreting what the OP is saying, but I think that he's talking about players who come up with silly excuses not to play on a regular basis. I gamed with a guy (my best friend at the time) who was like "oh I can't play I have to wash my car" .....and then he expected the rest of us to not play without him.... yeah right.