I'm young but I play d&d

[infernoavenger]

So I'd like some advice on how to be more involved with my dnd group, I'm 13 and it feels
Like if I try to interact with any players it'd be awkward, how do I get over my age to have the full experience of the game? It's really frustrating and I'd like some advice from people.

 

[pdzoch]

You are probably going to get lots of different advice here, all of it trying to be helpful. A lot will depend on who is in your group and who is your DM. Without knowing any of the details of your group or knowing you personally, my advice will have to be a bit generic.

A worthwhile start is to interact with your group through your character. It does not necessarily mean role play, but it does mean ensure your character is contributing to the group. Don't be a "tag a long" player who engages only when it is your turn and performing actions involving you alone. Assist teammates. Find out how your character can set up the other characters' special capabilities. That type of interaction should get your group excited and talk more to you about "the next time."

Do not be afraid to speak up and share your ideas. But don't be insistent. The group will warm to you. Hopefully, the DM will help ensure everyone is involved and treated respectfully at the table.

Tell us more about your group and you will certainly get better answers.

 

[Celebrim]

I had the good fortune to be mentored by an older DM who was willing, during the summer, to be a DM for us munchkins. Seeing how older players play is one of the best things for a younger player. See whether an older player - someone's cousin or older sibling, a parent with vast experience - is willing to run AP, a short campaign, or a one off for you or you and a small group of peers.

If a group of older players is willing to take you in, then don't be afraid to contribute. The most important step a novice RPer can take is overcoming their nerves and their feelings of embarrassment and speaking in character. However, I would advise you as the munchkin in a group to approach play humbly and soberly, and to try to adopt the goals and style of the group as your own. Try not to live up to any negative stereotypes and avoid in your excitement or pleasure of the game losing control of your emotions or reason. Likewise, avoid the negative stereotype of being always creating mischief for the group. On the other hand, don't let them boss you around. Be your own character and take as wise of actions as you can. Indeed, I would advise creating an initial character that is inspired by characters of fiction that are mature and suave - Spock, Obi Wan Kenobi, James Bond, Aragorn, etc. - and try to live up to that. Don't make a joke or jokey character (unless everyone in the group does, and that's the groups play style). Don't make a character that is a pure pastiche, but talk with the DM about making a character that suits his world. That way, you'll have no excuse for indulging bad habits. Be a reliable partner in play, and they'll soon forget your age and you'll find yourself with a niche in the party.

Honestly, one of the better starting characters for a young player is a cleric. Not many players want to be the cleric, but everyone needs the cleric. Playing a cleric with a philosophy that the group appreciates and who though serious isn't a pushing stereotypical moralist is a good way to win some respect. If I knew your game's setting, I could make suggestions. Or, if you already have a character, make sure you play the character maturely.

In practice though, you are probably going to enjoy the game best with your peers. Be looking around for fellow nerds that want to play, and who might find the ET or Stranger Things experience cool. In many ways, the gaming you do before you leave High School is - though it won't be the most mature or sophisticated you'll do - will be some of the most fun and memorable.

PS: I've been running games since before you were born. Some of the most mature, intelligent play I've seen was done by 13 and 15 year olds taking the game and its conceits seriously. Whereas, on the other hand, the group of middle aged players I currently run frequently acts like they are 13. Don't let anyone tell you a young player can't play the game and play it well. You have a great advantage that they don't have - you quite recently have experience playing make believe and otherwise engaging in play. You probably take your play more seriously than they do, as the young understand what adults have forgotten, that all play is practice for living.

 

[GrahamWills]

Hey infernoavenger,

So, I run a regular D&D game for my church's youth group. Adults play and run as well as kids (8+), youths (?) and college age kids. The best advice I would have is always to remember the purpose of playing is purely to have fun. If you and your fellow players keep that in mind, you will smooth over any issues and learn to have the best experience as a group. Any other advice is really details on how to make that happen. Some suggestions would be:

Take some time to learn the style of the group (this is true for all players!) Some groups like silly jokes and over-the-top theatrics, others like to carefully plan encounters, others to spend all their time roleplaying. Try and play in the style of the others and see if it works for you.

On the opposite side -- don't be afraid to contribute. Some of my best experiences as a GM have been by new players who came up with a fun, hilarious or novel way of approaching a challenge. Your youth is an ASSET -- you are not going to fall back on years of tired cliches and tropes that we older folk are encumbered with. I've had players suggest dressing up as sheep to sneak up on an ice dragon ("their white color would disguise themselves in the snow") which was very fun, even if a total failure as a mission. I've had a new player react to a standard "you are attacked by goons" by hiring them, and semi-abandoned a Living Forgotten Realms module because the new players assumed that something set in The Dragon Coast would have dragons, so they left the adventure to go find them. That ended up a lot of fun for all of us.

Finally, sooner or later you will find a player who will put down any suggestions you have. They will sigh and say "that won't work because ..." or "when you have played more you will understand that ..." or the like. They're not bad people, but they're forgetting the golden rule of making it fun for all. My hope is that the GM will not let them squish your fun, but if not, remember that they're only some of the people who play. If you cannot find fun with them, and the GM won't help you out, you may have to move on. But keep going!

 

[Lylandra]

Finally, sooner or later you will find a player who will put down any suggestions you have. They will sigh and say "that won't work because ..." or "when you have played more you will understand that ..." or the like. They're not bad people, but they're forgetting the golden rule of making it fun for all. My hope is that the GM will not let them squish your fun, but if not, remember that they're only some of the people who play. If you cannot find fun with them, and the GM won't help you out, you may have to move on. But keep going!

And don't feel discouraged by such trope-sages. Sometimes, a player without all that meta-knowledge happens to have the most creative and clever ways of tackling problems in an adventure or happens to play with more common sense than those who are experienced. I happened to save our party on my very first day of adventuring by telling them to run when a "gigantic demon who looks like the Balrog from Lord of the Rings" tried to break free in a dungeon. They all thought it would be only an illusion and that no DM would throw a Balor at a 3rd level party... yet it was one and the only sane way out was to "fly you fools". If you happen to have an idea which sounds reasonable, try it. Don't think too much about game conventions and tropes. Go for it.

 

[Ralif Redhammer]

At that age, I’d have been pretty nervous myself. And I was the DM most of the time!

For what it’s worth, I’d start by listening and watching what the other PCs are doing, and work with that. Say, for example, someone comes up with a clever plan. Look at how you can help implement it. Or heck, if a player starts talking about how much their character likes roast turnips, mention that your character likes them with extra butter. Hopefully, little steps like that will help integrate you into the group more strongly, where it won’t feel so awkward to share your own stuff.

But also, this shouldn’t all be on you. Everyone in a gaming group wants to get together and have fun (or rather, they should!). That means everyone at the table should be trying to do their part to make sure everyone else is also having fun, or at the very least be welcoming.

 

[Morrus]

I started playing D&D when I was 10. 13 ain't young!

 

[Mad_Jack]

I started playing D&D when I was 10. 13 ain't young!

I learned when I was eight... Which meant that my brother was 6 1/2, lol - his friend's older brother (who'd just gotten his license) got stuck with driving the friend over to our house to play, so he brought his books with him to work on his campaign. After I asked him what he was doing, that was the beginning of the end - once he told us about the game we pretty much forced him to run a session for us.


How old are the people in your group? Is it a home game or organized play?

I know a lot of multi-generational gaming groups, and some of the younger players are also some of the better ones.
At the age of 13 you're old enough to be asking intelligent questions and actively contributing - and a lot of people will be greatly impressed by your willingness to do so. Showing that you're a serious gamer who wants to contribute to the group, who listens and learns (and puts what they've learned to good use), who doesn't start drama and pays attention to the game, will go a long way toward breaking the ice
Also, older gamers love to hear themselves talk and pass on their gaming knowledge and war stories...lol. Just play the game intelligently and maturely, don't be afraid to make suggestions or ask questions to take advantage of the more experienced players' wisdom (assuming they're not a bunch of sex-obsessed teenagers or 40-yr-old children telling fart jokes), and above all...

Don't worry too much about it.
About 75% of the time, once you've shown yourself to be a serious, mature and committed gamer who contributes to the group, most folks who've been playing for at least a few years will forget about your age...

 

[ArchfiendBobbie]

The best piece of advice I can give: Pay close attention to your mistakes, and try your best to learn the group dynamic. And, yes, you will make mistakes. We all do.

If you accidentally cause a TPK or send the campaign so far off the rails that land requires a satellite to find, don't beat yourself up... as long as you don't make a habit of it. Causing an accidental TPK happens. Causing a campaign to go off rails happens. And in my experience, even the best of players occasionally cause it (and, sometimes, it results in a better campaign).

Oh, and the most important bit? Don't be afraid to try something crazy on occasion. Even if it doesn't work, the sheer awesome of the attempt can make for one hell of a story and a memory to tell others when you're an old fogey at the table.

 

[Henry]

The best piece of advice I can give: Pay close attention to your mistakes, and try your best to learn the group dynamic. And, yes, you will make mistakes. We all do.

If you accidentally cause a TPK or send the campaign so far off the rails that land requires a satellite to find, don't beat yourself up... as long as you don't make a habit of it. Causing an accidental TPK happens. Causing a campaign to go off rails happens. And in my experience, even the best of players occasionally cause it (and, sometimes, it results in a better campaign).

Oh, and the most important bit? Don't be afraid to try something crazy on occasion. Even if it doesn't work, the sheer awesome of the attempt can make for one hell of a story and a memory to tell others when you're an old fogey at the table.

Ditto to this. I know it can be hard for someone in their teens to "put themselves out there" (I know it was for me) but making mistakes is a large component to the process of getting more skilled at things - this applies to role playing games as much as cooking, car repair, or coding.

And congratulations and welcome to ENWorld!