Is this too corny a tribute?

[The Levitator]

Hello everyone. I am going to be attending Gary's funeral tomorrow. I am going there under the assumption that nearly every gamer attending will have a d20 in their pocket to leave at the memorial. I wanted to show grief and appreciation at the same time, so I took a black d20 with white numbering, and blackened all of the numbers, except the 20. Is this too corny? It feels right to me, but I've been in kind of a weird state of mind the last few days, so I thought I would ask.

Incidentally, I am taking my XL-1S to the funeral to get a shot of the memorial poster for Michael. If anyone from here is attending, I would be interested in videotaping anything anyone wants to share and put together a small video and also submit it to Michael. I don't know if they are planning on having videographers present to capture the service itself. I was actually planning on just chronicling my personal experience and hopefully catching the thoughts of others and compiling a video of my day in Lake Geneva.



If you are attending and would like to be on the video that I'm making for Michael, my name is James and I will most likely be the only person there with a que (sp?). My head is clean-shaven but I have a circular spot in the back that goes into a pony-tail (some of my friends jokingly call me Tong-Po). I also have a small below-lip goatee. I'll also be the one lugging around the big Canon XL1S, so that might also be a clue.

You can also see what I look like on my performance page: James Anthony

 

[WanderingMonster]

I guess I would consider the wishes of the family first. Talk to the funeral director about leaving a d20 (What would the family do with them all? Ask anyone who has ever had to deal with the memorial flower arrangements). I would also ask him about photographing at the memorial. Perhaps the funeral home would let you come earlier or later depending on the wishes of the family. Remember, the banner is a tribute for them. We don't (or shouldn't) need the validation of seeing the banner at the memorial.

Just get to know the funeral director and make sure you apprise him of your intentions.

 

[Piratecat]

Right. I wouldn't bring my camera into the funeral; this isn't a wedding, and you don't want the family to feel like it's a spectator sport.

I'm glad you're going.

 

[The Levitator]

Right. I wouldn't bring my camera into the funeral; this isn't a wedding, and you don't want the family to feel like it's a spectator sport.

I'm glad you're going.

I wasn't originally planning on taking a camera. When I posted on Michael Morris' thread about the banner and mentioned I was attending the funeral, he responded that he would like to have a picture of the memorial poster at the memorial. I was really just doing it as a favor to him. If I were to do this for Michael, I would have to bring my XL1s, because my wife has our good digitial still camera in Nevada. Since I would have to bring my videocamera to get a still of the memorial poster, I thought it might be nice to make a video diary of sorts of my day honoring someone who means a lot to me. I had planned on talking with whomever is there and stating all of that because I certainly have no intention of videotaping the ceremony. I did plan on chronicling my day and perhaps talking with a few people who might be interested in having a record of the day, later, after the service. I used to do videography on the side and have been hired in the past to videotape several funerals. Some people like having that kind of record of an important event.

I hope that clears things up that I was just trying to do something for one of the Enworld staff at his request, not act like some fan at a party.

 

[Piratecat]

You're great. Please forgive me if I accidentally sounded like a jerk; it was early, and I'm fussing about work-related stuff. I think that's bleeding over into other parts of my life.

 

[Michael Morris]

Definitely get permission first and I won't be unhappy if they decline. And also, you don't need to videotape the whole thing. I'd *like* to see the thing in context, it doesn't mean I need to, and the needs of the family outweigh all other concerns at this time.

 

[The Levitator]

Definitely get permission first and I won't be unhappy if they decline. And also, you don't need to videotape the whole thing and honestly I'd rather you wouldn't. I'd *like* to see the thing in context, it doesn't mean I need to, and the needs of the family outweigh all other concerns at this time.

I wholly intended to tell them who I was and exactly what I was hoping to do and asking permission before taking the camera out of the bag. I shouldn't have assumed that people would assume that I would do that. I used to do videography as a part-time income, and even when I was hired by the family, I would still talk to the funeral director and be very clear about who I was and clear it with them, even if I was already hired to do the job. I also have no intention of videotaping anything at either the memorial or the funeral service. My only thought was that afterward, perhaps some people might want to get together and share something. I thought it might be nice if there were a few fellow Enworlder's there that might want to put a little something together to share with the community, separate from the official ceremonies of the family.

I understand that this is the internet and we don't know each other personally, so I try not to get offended when people sometimes worry that I'm some disrespectful nutjob because for all they know, I am. Well, I am a bit of a nutjob (I'm a magician for a living ) but I am a harmless and respectful nutjob.

The idea of a personal journal wasn't even mine. One of the players in my online group suggested it as something that might be thoughtful and cathartic. I think they were also hoping that I might have something to share with all of them, as they are too far away to make it there themselves.

I do plan to post a blog about my experience today, more for myself than anything. I went to GenCon as a kid to meet Gary because even then I recognized how much his game had affected my life. I had a very bad childhood and role-playing really helped me through some tough times. Even though I didn't have the guts to sit at his table or say much more than "hi", I'm glad I got to meet someone whom I felt had, at least indirectly, helped me deal with physical and sexual abuse, my parents nasty divorce, and the loss of my grandfather, all within a couple of years. I'm also glad for the opportunity to attend and pay my final respects and have no intention of showing the slightest amount of disrespect.

 

[WanderingMonster]

Thanks for the clarification, and thanks for going.

 

[Man in the Funny Hat]

While it's not likely that family members want dozens of people running around throughout the event taking photos and videos of whatever catches their eye as if they were at Disneyland, it certainly has been my own experience that family members themselves want photo and video remembrances of funerals and memorial services just as they would weddings, birthdays and such, and funeral directors and family should expect a certain level of desire on the part of others to record the event as well. In addition, as this is a public memorial (yes?) and Gary was not exactly an unknown personage, I should say that you could expect at least local press capturing a few tasteful shots for the paper or the evening news.

In other words, it may not be a media circus but expect others to be doing the same. Just do it as respectfully and unobtrusively as you can. Preferrably before or after the service itself.

 

[The Levitator]

I posted an update on Michael's tribute thread. The family was very touched by Michael's poster. His eldest son told me it brought an appreciative tear to his eye. I asked the family about taking a picture on Michael's behalf and they actually encouraged me to do so, as well as take photos of the memorial photo displays.

The family is extremely gracious and has treated everyone here like family. The turnout has made them very happy and there is a very warm spirit here. There is much hugging and smiling, and very few tears. After speaking with and listening to Gary's family, I am sure it's exactly how he would have wanted it.

I would post more details, but it's a bit trying on my PPC phone. I will be capturing video at GaryCon.