Lame Names

[ivocaliban]

That's crazy talk.

I have never claimed (nor appreciated) sanity.

 

[blaze_fontane]

i was gaming with a friend of mine who named his character oogbash

 

[Warren Okuma]

Well I gamed with a dwarf fighter with a +1 longsword.

The Fighter's name was Bilbo Baggins.
His sword? Sting.

Twitch, twitch.

 

[Man in the Funny Hat]

I'm usually proud of my ability to come up with decent, even excellent names for characters. But reading this thread I am only reminded of those times when I myself have fallen prey to that which I despise - really lame names for characters.

Had an NPC wizard I named Casio, after the calculator in front of me.
Fighter PC named Nikoteen. I thought it sounded cool at the time but with time it got tedious.
I had a dwarf I once named... Cutter John. Oy was that lame. It was a Monty Haul campaign though and from the get-go I had no characterization in that character and no desire to try to build any. If I'd had any sense at the time I'd have suicided him and started over.

Still, players I've had in my campaigns have done far worse. Ranger Rick. Grunt the Barbarian. The most infamous has to have been a halfling my brother once rolled up that he named Indiana Jones. Yep he did. Refused to use any weapon but a whip - with sound effects. Really, everything about that PC was funny. Would have made a better character for playing Toon. UTTERLY destroyed any ability to run or play the game "seriously" at any point. And then it got BORING as such characters always do, which only makes the player push it harder.

Yes, the problem with lame names is never so much the name in and of itself. The problem is that it is a BLAZING beacon alerting you to the fact that the player who came up with it is NOT there to play D&D. He's more interested in playing a computer game, or he wants to be the center of attention by disrupting the game, or he's annoyed with someone at the table (like the DM) so EVERYONE gets to suffer as he tries to push that persons buttons, or he has the imagination of a slug, or the attention span of a gnat. But actually PLAYING a character in a game of D&D is not what's on his mind.

 

[Warren Okuma]

I've also used the following whimsical pantheon for a couple of one shots:

Ogg - (NE Lesser Demiurge)
Domains: Evil, Healing, Air, Protection

Tquirky - (LN Greater Goddess and Giant Walking Mushroom)
Domains: Law, Fire, Luck, Animal

Gleebus Wurp - (NG Failed Archdemon, cast out into the upper planes)
Domains: Good, Destruction, Death, Travel

Yutz - (N Mystical Divine Flying Rock With Propellors)
Domains: Magic, Water, Strength, War

Urkh Ob Glurkh - (CN Part Time Demigod)
Domains: Chaos, Earth, Trickery, Sun

Nice pantheon.

 

[STARP_Social_Officer]

And, of course, there's the infamous Basher the half-orc. We eventually decided ('we' means everybody apart from the player) that 'Basher' was a nickname and encouraged the player to think of and reveal the PC's real name. Of course, he never did. He didn't think like that. He just wanted a character that hit things. Development? What's that? Twit.

 

[Hypersmurf]

For example, my Eberron PC is called Marius ir'Kol.

-Hyp.

 

[Illirion]

The only name in my campaign that would qualify as either funny/lame in my campaign is probably the name of our gnome druid's hawk companion: Tony.

Other than that we haven't had any giggle inspiring names yet.

I absolutely love the other names mentioned here. I must remind myself to get a funny name when I get to be a player again .

 

[Kafkonia]

I suppose I should chime in with the two I normally forget about; strangely, from the same adventure.

I started with Diabedes ("It's Greek -- no really!") the Hexblade. He died in the first session after being critted by a dwarven barbarian 2 levels below him.

So I replaced him with Xylophon, Cleric of Death and Suffering! I even built up a backstory -- his deity was Orchestre, and all clerics of Orchestre renamed themselves after musical instruments because they were her instruments in the world. Although Neutral Evil, they were Neutral Evil "for the greater good", believing that this world was only a training ground for the true battle that was the afterlife, and so pain and suffering in this life would make you better soldiers for the forces of existence in the next.

Sadly, the adventure more or less fell apart after a couple of sessions. I'd still like to play him some day.

 

[Eli-kun]

Someone once named his character "Crimson Jerkin".
I had a half orc barbarian named "Fluffy".
I knew someone who named his samurai "Jutsu".
I had a halfling druid named "Mello". His animal companion was an ape named "Hiromi Go".