Lamest character deaths ever!

[Yair]

We had a TPK once by puppets. Animated puppets (as in small animated objects). This was at level 3; they ambusehd the party as they charged into the wizard's tower...
It was an epic battle, really, with the last living character using his last action to kill a puppet and then dropping uncoscious.
As the DM, I shouldn't have used them - the hardness was unexpectedly meaningfull; I was new to 3E.
But the mere thought of being wiped out by 10" dolls... the players are very much ashamed of the whole affair

 

[Jondor_Battlehammer]

A series of lame deaths, all resulting in the same homebrew system ran by a DM that we should not have been playing with.

The party is storming a wizard's tower, when the DM randomly rolls a target during a fight with an earth elemental. The one targeted was the brand new cleric who wasn't even in the room. I died from several times my HP in damage.

A fight with a group of kobalds, which we outnumbered. By the time they were actually killed, we had over half the party down, and several dead. Not from the kobalds, mind you, but from other PCs rolling critical misses. Including a dwarven warrior axing his brother dead in the back.

A friend of mine has a tie with himself for the lamest deaths in that game. The first being the only combatant in an adventure to destroy what in 3E terms would be an epic level Dracolich. Once they find its lair, however, they discover not one, not two, but all three of these legendary beasts together. Made all the more obvious an attempt to kill the party because one had been trapped half way across the world for the past few thousand years. So the party begins trying to escape, while the fighter charges them as a distraction. He kills two of them, and with the way he was rolling, was only a round or two away from getting the third. One of the hottest dice nights he has ever had, and the DM finally hit him. Lame because they should have won that one, had the DM not cheated.

His most mechanically lame death was when the same PC died on a crit from a one HP goblin.

 

[StalkingBlue]

Dead paladin (male) was 3.0-reincarnated as a dryad by the party druid. While busy giving his belongings away to the other PCs, he was killed from behind by his old friend the greatsword-wielding half-orc barbarian, who'd decided all by himself that surely the paladin wouldn't want to live on with the utter shame of being female ...

The druid offered to re-reincarnate the paladin but the paladin's player declined.

 

[ltclnlbrain]

Death by Yellow Mold: In RttToEE, the drow rogue was hit by some yellow mold. She took some Con damage, but when asked if she wanted to have neutralize poison cast on her to avoid the secondary damage, she declined. "It does 2d6 damage...I have 12 Con left. I'll survive," said she. A minute later, the DM rolled secondary damage...and came up with two 6's. The player was laughing too much to care that she had died.

 

[Torm]

Lamest Death - 1st level Paladin, fleeing from a vampire after surviving one lucky round, hides up a tree. Tree is then set on fire by nearby camping ogres who come to investigate the guy who can't move silently in full plate.

Lamest Reincarnation (for bonus points) - Character was dead, party decided they couldn't take on the enemy ship (Spelljammer) without me (and OOC, I wanted back into the game - was getting bored), so they decided to try some wands that had not yet been Identified on my body. First one turned me into a sheep (still dead), second one made me giant-sized (still dead), third one brought me back to life (as a giant battle sheep). Having decided I was going to have to make a new character for the next session, anyway, I got them to put me in the catapult, and flew over to the enemy ship, where a giant battle sheep did a surprising amount of damage.

 

[Krellic]

My friend had a kobold fighter. He got him up to third level and he had gained two hench-kobolds. So they're all wandering down the dungeon corridor when a frost giant came round the corned and trod on all three.

What really miffed him was that the giant didn't even notice.

 

[BlackMoria]

A 7th level barbarian (run by another player) die in a bowl of oatmeal.

The party was in a inn for the night and early the next day, before anyone arose, the barbarian went down to get a early breakfast. Unknown to the party, an assassin was stalking them - send by the BBEG. The assassin (a female) used a blowpipe with a poisoned dart (paralytic poison) and hit the barbarian in the neck, who rolled a 1 for the save.

The assassin, viewing her assassinations as works of art, then pushed the barbarian's face into his bowl of oatmeal and went upstairs to look for other party members. The assassin was passing herself of as a courtier and managed to sweet talk her way into the mage's room. Long story short, the mage got poisoned but lived due to another party member showing up at the last second. By the time the combat was over and the other party members managed to locate the barbarian, he had suffocated in his oatmeal.

 

[Drow Jones]

All my lame deaths have happened with Rolemaster...

I made an elven ranger after the death of my last character. I spotted my future friends fighting a band of orcs, so I started running towards the combat to help them. An orc archer spotted me and promptly shot an arrow into my eye. The rest of the party never knew my ranger existed as the body was concealed by tall grass and they failed their spot checks. Total gaming time with a new character: approx. 10 seconds.

My 9th lvl Fighter fumbled with an exotic weapon (yarkbalka) and severed his own leg from knee. I bled to death as no one had a high first aid skill or spells to stop the bleeding and shock.

A wizard character of mine ran away from two trolls with only 2 hit points left. I rolled high (open-ended) and ran so fast I took 4 damage. I passed out and the trolls took care of the rest.

- DJ

 

[notjer]

when I was a big noob:

the bard was angry because a mage have used 'illusion gems' for buying a mage cloak (wort 1500). there was a very stupid barbarian called Erik, 6 int I think.. myabe lessor? anyways, it took the bard time but he made the barbarian angry, not at the bard but on the others in the group, and decided to kill em, the mage did nearly died, 2 npc and 2 pc died, and the barbarian was cutted up by the bard who had a very good dagger that means 3 npc died... ohh the bard died also because the mage was a half-deamon and the deamons wasent so glad when I made coup-de-grace very lame...

 

[Cannibal_Kender]

My mage whipped a cursed dagger at an orc. It whipped around, hitting me in the back, and killing me instantly.