Let's read the entire run

[Richards]

Ah yes, the infamous Love Slave of the Kobold Queen. After this issue hit print, Dave Gross and Christopher Perkins asked me to write up an "Ecology of the Kobold" using the exploits of Jesse Decker's character as the fiction piece. I did so, but it was ultimately rejected on the premise of "Jesse would KILL us!" However, for those interested, the link to the unpublished article is in my signature below.

Johnathan

 

[(un)reason]

Dragon Magazine Issue 246: April 1998


part 2/8


Forum now moves onto the balance between the PHB and the DMG. In 1e, things were definitely slanted towards the DM's side, while they moved a big chunk of that into the PHB in 2e. What now? Tee hee.

Joe Goranson wants D&D completely converted into a skill based system. Levels are a clunky and outmoded concept! Hardly anyone else in roleplaying uses them. I think not. Plus less railroading, more player control. No argument there.

Cameron McKee has lots of suggestions for the new edition, most of which will not be followed up. If anything, this is the kind of stuff they'll move away from, particularly things like rules for weather and mining. We want to concentrate on the asskicking.

Mark E. Greene thinks that the proficiency system is the part of the system most in need of a complete rewrite. Your wish is our command!

Robert Hertel wants to go back to the 1e collection of core races. All the current lot, plus the reinstatement of the Half-Orc. Seems like a fairly conservative choice. That it is then! Your class suggestions, on the other hand, heed will we not.

Joe G. Kushner pushes it a step further, wanting the current core lot, plus the half orc and half ogre. Too much? I guess so.


Sage advice: Can you throw an entire necklace of missiles at an opponent. (yes, but if you haven't taken the beads off, it'll do as much good as throwing your gun at the enemy.)

Lathander is neutral good. Are vampires scared of his priests (yes. They aren't scared of his holy symbols on their own though. )

Can good priests rebuke/control paladins (Chance'd be a fine thing)

Why can't a thief hiding in shadows be seen with infravision (They can. The trick is in convincing people not to look in the first place. )

Is a flame tongue sword any good against a red dragon (no more than a regular +1 sword)

Could you clear up the rules for immature giants ( Suuure. Skip is glad to clear up after an incompetent editor. (no names, but looking very hard at))

Are creatures that need magical weapons to hit immune to phantasmal killer (no. You infer things that are not there.)

How does levitation work in a place without gravity. (pick an axis, any axis. This is not a 3 card monte. Skip is not forcing your hand. )

Surely the best way to incapacitate a wizard is to strap them up inside a suit of plate mail. (you'd think so. However, Skip recommends finding a way to screw over players who use this trick repeatedly. Skip is not a fan of other people using rules exploits in the face of realism.)

I protest about your rulings on poison with instant onset times. (Are you dissin Skip? Have you forgotten that skip is the badass private sage who puts the pages in the mages and the broomstick between the witches legs. Just because Skip went through some tough times last year, does not mean Skip's lost it. If anything, they gave Skip a chance to get back to his roots, hustling for info on the mean shores of lake geneva. If you think Skip won't cap yo ass for this impertinence, you've got another thing coming. )

Are Golems affected by retributive strikes (hell no)

Can dispel magic cure lycanthropy (Not a hope in hell.)

 

[(un)reason]

Dragon Magazine Issue 246: April 1998


part 3/8


Knights of the dinner table advertises the RPGA. Two great tastes that taste great together!


Out of character: Peter gives us his first bit of writing that isn't particularly consequential after all. Happens to every writer sooner or later. This is why many epics stop at a trilogy, as that's about the longest you can ratchet up the tension before having to take a break to let things plateau. Anyway, this feels like a companion piece to their longer henchman feature a little later, a selection of random personality quirks that you could give them. Since we've had longer, more detailed personality lists in the past, this isn't a game changer. If anything, it feels like filler. So I really don't have much to say here. I don't actively dislike it, but I don't like it either. Having the boss talking to us every month again means the novelty is starting to wear off.


The wizard's companion: Hmm. We've had a good half a dozen articles on familiars by now. That's getting a little played out. So let's put the spotlight on homunculi instead. Well, it's about the equivalent of focussing on grimlocks rather than the regular orcs for your low level monster encounters. Still, it follows pretty much the same formula. Several pages of extrapolation on the nature of homunculi, their creation, their relationship with wizards and possibly their familiars if they have those as well, and what happens if they become independent. Then it details a whole bunch of alternate homunculi types with their unique appearances and abilities. The illustrations are all in colour and not too bad either, and it gives you some obvious avenues to develop these ideas further. It's a pretty good starter, if rather formulaic. Looks like they're going for a safe option that'll retain it's value for a while.


The Omega Variant: Oooh. So this is our first proper Alternity article. A 10 page quick-play solo adventure that introduces the basic concepts of the rules, and then takes you through a little choose your own path adventure that'll take maybe half an hour if you're lucky. (although if you're not, it could take several tries, as they give you plenty of opportunities to lose.) This is definitely better than the Amazing Engine's similar attempt, which they didn't do until well after it was released, and then didn't really show you what to do with the system once you had it.

Straight away, I can see that they're using mostly the same abilities as D&D, but with some noticeable differences. Charisma has been renamed Personality, while wisdom has been renamed Will, and has taken the Perception role that would be shoehorned into Wisdom in 3e. So it looks like we can already say that this'll have some influence on the development of D&D. This highly swingy, roll under resolution mechanic, on the other hand, I think we can safely say was discarded because of the weird way it scales and interacts with the difficulty modifiers as you increase your stats. The action phases system also seems like an interesting experiment that might have been kept on, but was instead replaced by the full/standard/move/free system and cyclical initiative that takes slightly less rolls and bookkeeping. And the wound system was obviously an intentional change because they didn't want characters to become unstoppable tanks as they gained experience in this system. So there's plenty to analyse here. The adventure itself is pretty linear, but there are several nice touches of humour that make it fun reading, and it shows us some setting details that I assume will be expanded upon in the main books. This definitely feels like a good introduction that'll get a few more people to buy the system. My main lingering question here is how the system handles advancement. Does it have the potential for campaigns as long as Basic or Advanced D&D, or does it run out after a while?

 

[(un)reason]

Dragon Magazine Issue 246: April 1998


part 4/8


A few good henchmen: More than a few in fact. 101 to be precise. As with the dirty tricks list, you'll never have thought up everything on this list. And unlike the tricks, you could get plenty of sessions of use out of every single one of these, presuming you aren't too cavalier. There's a definite slant towards humans and fighters, but all the basic classes and races are covered, plus there's a few ones from odd races as well. They also have short but effective personality notes that'll make them easy to pick up and play by any actor. I'd use them without hesitation.


Wyrms of the north:We're now halfway through the alphabet, which means we're probably slightly more than that through this series. And here we venture a little out of the usual geographical remit, with a trip to Sembia. We get to find out quite a bit more about the Cult of the Dragon in the area, and why they're very much the poor third party as a villainous organisation when compared to the Zhentarim and Red Wizards. They're blinded by their ideology, and put it over profit, and that makes them very open to manipulation, especially by dragons themselves. Like many Sapphire dragons, our subject this month tends to be a bit of a shut-in geek, but the magical equivalent of the internet lets him see what's going on, and undead servants wait upon him to make sure he has plenty to eat. And of course, you're much more likely to run across the results of his machinations than you are to meet him. This makes him another fun one for long-term play, and while as powerful as any dragon, he's not so twinked out as to be unbeatable, like so many of the Realmses contingency fetishists. You might actually get to beat him, or save him from the Cult when they actually realise they've been played for fools. And really, since PC's should always get to make a difference in the adventure, I approve.


Fiction: The great hunt by Elaine Cunningham. Our great elf-lover stretches herself a little to show us both sides of an elf-orc conflict. Both of these races are of course able to interbreed with humans, and that does become significant here, showing them that really, they're not so different. But the elves are the good guys, of course. Not really sure what to make of this, as it's virtually all description around a plot that could be boiled down to a single sentence effortlessly. I think it's more evidence for the fact that they're relying on regular authors a lot more these days, and spending even more time in the Realms than they used too. I'm not really satisfied with this at all. Ed may get away with it, but his followers? Sorry, no dice.


Rogues gallery: This month, we're not covering the subjects of recent books. No, we're going all the way back to the turn of the decade, and the Forgotten Realms comic books published back then. What? They didn't get round to giving them full stats in a book? Well, I suppose it's more evidence that the Realms is way too big to keep track of properly. So anyway, time for the usual plot compression before we get to the characters. And with three big adventures with a 16 year gap between the first and last, it's obvious these guys are no rookies or flash in the pan. But they still probably won't have realistically large sets of equipment.

Vajira Valmeyjar is a badass warrior woman who's been promoted to nobility as a result of her leveling up, but isn't particularly comfortable with the courtly lifestyle and gossiping crap that comes with it. This of course makes her the subject of more gossip. Pay them no mind and keep having adventures.

Timoth Eyesbright is a centaur with a double sword. Well, having all that extra mass allows them to wield weapons that would be flashy but impractical for humans. He's the trusting dumbass of the group, which means he may be both subject to trickery and the Worf effect in adventures. Well, it seems like he'll keep the banter interesting.

Onyx the Invincible is a dwarf fighter/thief who's smart enough to use blowdarts, and hot tempered enough enough to get into adventures regularly. He sometimes rides the centaur, which makes perfect sense tactically, and gives the impression that these guys were actually PC's at some point, for NPC's tend to be sniffy about that kind of thing. He also has relationship issues, which is generally something they're rather taciturn about. I like him.

Kyrani of Waterdeep is the mage of the group, and in typical Realms style, is not shy about using her looks and lifespan to have as much fun as possible with a whole bunch of different men of various races. Tut tut, etc etc. What are we to do, with the celebrities of this world setting such a bad example to other adventurers?

 

[Orius]

and why they're very much the poor third party as a villainous organisation when compared to the Zhentarim and Red Wizards. They're blinded by their ideology, and put it over profit, and that makes them very open to manipulation, especially by dragons themselves.

I'd chalk it up to something simpler, as in the Zhentarim and Red Wizards know what they want, i.e. world domination. And while it's cliche villany, they stick to the basics and do it well. The Cult of the Dragon though is saddled with the fact that it's based on a bassackward translation of an ancient prophecy and founded by an insane mage (really Mystra knows how to pick 'em, don't she ) which makes them one of the biggest evil losers in Faerun short of Cyric.

 

[(un)reason]

Dragon Magazine Issue 246: April 1998


part 5/8


The ecology of the flumph: It would be an april episode that features these guys. The unjustly mocked lawful good flying jellyfish. Flip them upside down, and they're helpless. Well, it's no bigger a weakness than vampires dying horribly in sunlight. Fortunately, the association of monster hunters' antics are comical enough on their own, so they make perfectly credible foils for them. At least this time they get off with just a bit of dignity lost, rather than having to rez dozens of people. The footnotes are better than they've been for the last few issues as well, with theorizing on how they are related to several other D&D monsters, and quite a bit of stuff that doesn't appear in the original monster entry. Not perfect, but probably far better treatment than it would have got under some other writers.


Bazaar of the Bizarre: This month's theme is kitchen based. Lots of items which ordinary people'll get use out of. Another bit of setting heavy frippery, or genuinely cool items? Pretty typical question here.

Bowls of plentiful porridge condemn you to crap food for the rest of your days. Still, at least you'll never run short. Tempting and nasty, this is a very real and difficult choice as a possession.

Cauldrons of dreams are another one that's almost as much bother as it is benefit. You could get a cool prophecy, you could get traumatic nightmares. It's all rather random. Like most random items, even though more of the options are good than bad, it'll probably backfire on you nastily in the long run.

Cauldrons of gateways allow you to go somewhere by jumping in them. This is of course one way and leaves the cauldron behind, so it might not be a great one for PC's. Leave it with your friendly neighbourhood witch.

The Cauldron of the Magi offers magical powers at quite substantial cost and risk. Assembling the ingredients you need to brew in it looks like an entire adventure in itself.

Cauldrons of Planar Travel let you go anywhere in the multiverse, presuming you can get soil from it in the first place. This of course rules out quite a few planes, but hush you pessimist.

Chamber pots of concealment have an extradimensional space in them. This means they can be used for ages without needing emptying, or have stuff hidden there where no-one would look. Clever.

Cleavers by Grog are nasty blades that make you bleed profusely, like Barbazu pikes. They're a good example of tools being useful weapons as well. Don't mess with the cook.

The Cookbook of Uzul gives you a bonus to your cooking checks. Not flashy, but like many items, surprisingly profitable.

Cormac's Wonder Butter is a bit rancid, but what doesn't kill you makes you better. Another decidedly mixed benefit in a article full of them.

Hypnotic Cauldrons are another perfect witchy stereotype. The right brew will have everyone in the room subliminally implanted to do something for you and not remember it. I believe this merits an evil cackle. Nyehehehehehe.

Everfull jugs of Lard are like decanters of endless water, only much thicker and greasier. I look forward to seeing people find good non-cooking related uses for this one.

Jan Jo's Tea Bottle keeps you awake better than any coffee, can cure lycanthropy, and heal you. One of those ones that'll really boost an adventuring parties performance, especially at lower level.

Medicine Spoons are another one that may cure you, but it'll be as unpleasant as real medicine. You'd think when clerics can do this stuff easily enough, it wouldn't be so hard to replicate.

Pepper of the Pyrolisk is just too damn spicy. One for X-treme high level characters with a masochistic edge. Can you take the heat?

Salts of Dehydration do to you what ordinary salt does to slugs. A painful shriveling death to the consumer. Good assassination technique, really. It'll certainly make other people think twice about crossing you. Crisp?

Salt and Pepper shakers of Ogg are a paired set that can poison you, or cure poison. You really really do not want to get them mixed up.

Seame Cauldrons are rather interesting scrying devices that work via sympathetic magic. This'll make using them practically an interesting challenge, and not game-breaking at all. You could do a lot worse than including these if you want divination.

Spatula of lifting let you flip up to 500lb items. Another useful tool with fun combat applications.

Spirit Cauldrons let you summon up ghosts to answer questions. This may or may not go well, but works in a nicely narrative way. I quite approve. A very fun collection of items, overall.

 

[(un)reason]

Dragon Magazine Issue 246: April 1998


part 6/8


The wizards three: Another little serving of inoffensive whimsy and lechery from the wizards three. They have a slightly better idea of what happened to Dalamar, but of course, they can't meddle in the affairs of other worlds. And since he is technically a bad guy anyway, they'd rather stay at Ed's and scoff the stuff he so generously provides rather than go on an epic adventure anyway. Once again, the only drama comes from Elminster's continued teasing of their new apprentice, which grows a bit tiresome for me, and probably a lot more so for her. Cosmic enlightenment? They're just mucking you around.

The spells also undergo severe woobification, with all of them 1st level. The usual array of minor mischiefs and similarly weak attack effects easily surpassed by the standard magic missile & sleep array. Once again, it's all rather unsatisfying, and makes me wonder why these changes have been made. Was it Ed's decision, or the new management that's led him to dumb his stuff down so more players will be able to get their hands on it. In any case, it's not a good ending to the run of this series, as easily the weakest entry. I guess fourth wall breaking crossovers just don't work well when they're cutting down their setting selection.


The dragon's bestiary: Hmm. Backconverting monsters from the 5th age Dragonlance stuff. I can see how there'd be a demand for that kind of stuff. There are some people who are annoyed at the whole 5th age business, but are still reading the novels and want to play the game. And they are trying to cater for as wide an audience as possible for this beleaguered gameworld.

Daemon Warriors are moderately scary undead hordes. Adventurers shouldn't have too much trouble, but of course anything immune to nonmagical weapons is deep trouble to normal people, as no size of army'll help. And like draconians, they have destructive deaths just to make them even more of a pain. Seems to be a personal fetish of Margaret & Tracy.

Fire dragons are yet another stupid rampaging monster that might look scarier than normal dragons at first glance, but is seriously lacking in the intellect and magical capacity. Chaos doesn't seem to be particularly imaginative really. Couldn't you just reskin existing monsters?

Chaos wights, on the other hand, are really really scary and cool. If they kill you, they erase your life from the memory of everyone who ever knew you as well. Which means no-ones going to even know to try and raise you, but may also be their eventual downfall, since the only legends of fighting them will be ones where the heroes win. So it's one cool idea and a bunch of filler. Seems about par for this world.


Dragonmirth is full of snark. Swordplay gets the wrong kind of hot oil. Oooh, this is gonna make a mess.

 

[David Howery]

The ecology of the flumph

In one of his editorials, Roger once said that having a PC killed by a flumph is the #1 most embarrassing death a PC can suffer. Have to say I agree with that...

 

[(un)reason]

Dragon Magazine Issue 246: April 1998


part 7/8


Roleplaying reviews: Zero is a rather interesting little game from our other reviewer Lester Smith. Somewhere between Paranoia without the humour and Star trek if you were a rebel Borg, you were once a happy part of the collective, but suddenly woke up with individuality, and have to do your best to survive in a world that suddenly and inexplicably hates you. The rules are similarly minimalist and offbeat, with you having to choose between number of skills you know, and being able to adapt to new situations. Like Paranoia, it seems like it would struggle to accommodate long campaigns, but could be good for a one-shot.

Mediums: Speakers with the dead for Wraith, on the other hand, could make for very long-term games indeed, as you can get a full career as a mortal, and then eventually transition into being a wraith. (and then become a risen or spectre, and back again) It has a lot of writers, and consequentially feels a bit unfocussed, but that just means it'll be good for being interpreted in different ways and causing flamewars, like many old white wolf products. And crucially, you don't have to worry about your fricken shadow constantly undermining everything you do like you would if you're a wraith. It's a hard life, being a game writer and stuck with previous design that's already proven to be a mistake and trying to work around it.

Tribebook: Stargazers reminds us that white wolf could get pretty silly at times. Buddhist werewolves? That's just an excuse to give your flesh-ripping engine of death kewl martial arts on top of everything else. Still, White Wolf has got better as lampshading their cheesier urges over time, and that proves the case here, with the combination of W:tA animism and real world eastern mysticism actually fairly coherent. You don't have to be a twink to want to play one, but it can't hurt.

The great modron march showcases some of the weirdest bits of the planescape setting, using the big cosmic event as a backdrop for a whole bunch of little adventures of various levels. In theory, you could play all of them, but in practice, they don't really happen in order, plus you know how slow the AD&D leveling system is, so you'd have to add other ones in between, and in the meantime, the march would move on. Really, you're unlikely to use more than one or two with a particular set of characters.

Faces of evil: the fiends evokes considerably less wonder in Allen. Far too much of it is rehashed or overly conservative in approach, and amusing IC writing can only go so far. They could do much better now they're not bound by that sodding code of ethics.

Dreams and nightmares is for Changeling:the Dreaming, and explores their own weird world away from the one we know. (while making it clear that the PC's are never actually going to get back to Arcadia without ceasing to be characters as we know them) As should be expected from WW, the editing continues to be a source of contention with the reviewers, and as expected from the topic, the continuity is a bit scattershot. Still, there's plenty of material to add to your campaign. And given changeling PC's tendency towards amnesia, it's pretty reusable as well.


Re:Views: The Pocket Warrior is an experiment with format, fitting three little booklets into a CD jewel case which cover rules, creatures and setting with more detail than many books with twice the page count. Of course, if you have poor eyesight, you might as well not apply, but it's a brave design choice that stands out in this era of bloating page counts, and deserves credit. Of course, an actual .pdf on a CD would be able to go thousands of full colour pages with the right compression settings, but that's neither here or there. In the meantime, if you like easy to learn universal systems, drop a few dollars, give them your support.


KotDT shows up again, this time to abuse and drive off the newbie.

 

[(un)reason]

Dragon Magazine Issue 246: April 1998


part 8/8


TSR Previews: Unusually, Ravenloft takes front position this month. I Strahd: The war against Azalin has P. N. Elrod do for the sequel module what she did for the first one. Most amusing, and likely to suffer from diminishing returns just as the module did. They also get Champions of the Mists. The characters from books finally get statted out, the way the FR and DL ones have been a few times.

Speaking of the Realms, they're also putting their novels above their game products. Realms of Mystery is yet another short story anthology. Get to see faces new and old face little puzzles and probably overcome them. A little more epic sounding is The Fall of Myth Drannor. Another one where you probably don't get to have much influence on how things turn out, due to metaplot paradoxes being a bitch to deal with.

Greyhawk continues to return with a vengeance. The Players Guide to Greyhawk does what players guides do. Stuff to properly integrate you into the setting like country descriptions and new kits. As ever, whether Gary approves of the new direction is very much in question.

Dragonlance reaches The Last Thane, by Doug Niles. The dwarves bicker like idiots as the chaos war rages, to their detriment.

Our latest monster spotlight starts it's trilogy of adventures. A Darkness Gathering sees the Illithids finally put in motion their sun extinguishing master plan. Sweet. They've been hinting about doing this for years. Nice to see them actually get round to it.

The Odyssey line gets Jakandor: Isle of Destiny. A low level adventure for a spellcaster. Hmm. Nope, can't work up any interest for this one.

Dragon Dice introduces the treefolk in their 8th Kicker pack. Once again the balance of power shifts as a new foe enters the arena. Choose your weapons. Earth and Water? Mud Wrestling! Yay!

Alternity gets a pack with a GM screen, character sheets, and a bunch of other loose leaf gubbins. Shoulda got a boxed set, then we wouldn't have to buy this separately.

And finally, 5 years after the last one died, Marvel Super Heroes gets a new, rather different RPG. Considering FASERIP was their second most successful line for years, I'm not sure why they wanted to monkey with it so much, but there you go. Enjoy.


Profiles: Elaine Cunningham says without irony that the reason she writes about elves so much is that she's a cat person. In a post Pratchett literary environment, this seems more than a little risible. But then, gaming fiction is mocked for many reasons. Drop in an ocean really. Add on writing furry fiction, and even with the positive slant they try and put on this interview, I am groaning and rolling my eyes. Having never read her stuff, I now have even less desire to do so. I suppose the article has served a purpose then, if not the intended one.


Well, it looks like the new direction is going to include substantially less goofiness in the magazine, even if behind the scenes, their actual play is as filled with weirdness and messing around as ever. Combined with the emphasis on following more strictly to a formula, and I'm once again left feeling that this is an era to be dipped in and out of, rather than ploughed through. I wish I could be more non-linear in my reviews. Instead, I'm going to have to get through a load more on an edition that's already looking pretty complete as it is. Waiter! Next course please!