Let's Write a Bad Module

[evilbob]

Encounter 206: The Magical House on the Hill

Two kingdoms over, there is a magical mountain range called the Roaring Mountains. No one alive today remembers why they are called that. The mountains are full of natural caves, most of which are magical, and at the top of the highest mountain, called Mount Roar, a magical owlbear lives in one of these caves.

Cave: complete darkness, 800 ft x 5 ft, all light sources are extinguished upon entering the cave, also it's trapped​

The magical owlbear's name is Steve. He has been trapped in this cave for hundreds of years. He is always hungry and attacks on sight.

Magical Owlbear: level 15, darkvision, tremorsense, claw attack 4d6+4, Str 13, CON 12, INT 22, WIS 22, CHA 18, has 4 9th level meteor storm spells prepared due to levels in sorcerer, 36d6+1 fire and piercing, impervious to magic, DC 22, SR 31, AC 25, 3 HP, cannot be subdued, immune to mind effects, immune to sneak attack and critical hits, does not need to eat sleep or breath​

If the party manages to convince Steve to leave the cave, he will travel with them for 1d20 days before returning to the cave. In the cave, there's an old boot with 857 copper pieces and three paintings. It also contains a statue of a demon worth 2 gold.

 

[evilbob]

Encounter 11a

At the base of the tower is an Inn called the Drunken Boot. The innkeeper's wife's cousin's name is Freda, and she lives 30 miles away in Davenport, and died 3 years ago. The inn has a problem with rats. The innkeepers will ask the party to kill all the rats in the basement. The basement contains 107 rats (1 HP, 10 AC, 1d4-3 damage, immune to area-of-effect spells and attacks). The last rat is also invisible. The party must kill every single rat, however, or the innkeeper won't pay. The basement also contains two trunks full of noble clothes, and some dried meat that is quite salty to the taste.

Later that night, a bard strikes a cord, and after a draft of bier, tells the torturous storey of the amoral prince and the evil alter he worships, full of grizzly murder and discreet rendezvous, ending with a climatic rooftop dual. The patrons faun over the bard with rapped attention as he pores out his heart, afterward complementing him on the creditable storey. To commensurate, they by him another round.

The next morning the bard leaves and all the rats are back in the basement, except they have 2 HP and so on, etc.

 

[Jhaelen]

It's just too much fun to not keep going! (This is based on something I read recently...)

Encounter 205b
[...]

Funny, this reads almost exactly like a room description from the Tomb of Horrors...

 

[Zhaleskra]

Skeletons........
.....on a hill.......
.....with swords.....
......eating walnuts!

Clarification request: is it the skeletons or their swords that are eating the walnuts?

 

[Dannyalcatraz]

They're swords-eating walnuts.

 

[Jhaelen]

Clarification request: is it the skeletons or their swords that are eating the walnuts?

It's clearly the hill.

 

[Olgar Shiverstone]

This is overdue to be shared with a new generation.

 

[Olgar Shiverstone]

... and this is is what reading nostalgia leads to.

Be warned, kids.

 

[Dannyalcatraz]

OK, now we need some pre rolled sample characters to include with the adventure . . .

Unnamed Gnome ranger (use Paladin stat array, but swap Dex and Str) who uses twin repeating hand crossbows, only uses silver-headed bolts. Favored enemy lycanthropes. Rides a giant space hamster named Mithril.

Nagol, halfling Barbarian who does twin-weapon fighting with bladed gauntlets.

Brother Quandry, a Kender monk. Has strapped squeak & fart bladders to his body in such a way that they make noise when he strikes someone in combat.

Pliskin the Kobold, the bagpipe playing bard. Has a rapier, and hides throwing stars under his kilt.

Maxwell Thunkus III, Dwarf cleric who likes to hit things hard. He carries a maul.

D’Void, Svirfneblin sorcerer with a knack for forbidden magics...

MoonThistle the pseudodragon-riding Pixie Paladin. Uses a lance.

Lady Winterfall, Human Druid who focuses on summoning spells, with an especially strong preference for avians.

 

[Jd Smith1]

This brings bad so many Judges Guild memories....