Martial Assassin - Black Lotus Discipline

[Zachariah]

Outdated: for most recent version go HERE

 

[Nifft]

It'd be a little bit easier to discuss if you put the maneuver descriptions in a post.

Thanks, -- N

 

[Zachariah]

Ok, sure. Added the discriptions in the post. For a more official display of the discriptions you should download the attachment.

Im aspecially interested in the balance of the maneuvers. Any critice (contructed), advice or comments are welcome.

Gratz, Zach

 

[Nifft]

Weapon of Choice: At 1st level, a Martial Assassin may choose one of the weapons associated with his chosen discipline. He gains the Weapon Focus feat with this weapon.

Chosen Discipline? He only gets one?

Nerve Stab
Level: Black Lotus 1 (Strike)
Saving Throw: Fortitude partial

As part of this maneuver, you make single melee attack. If successful, your opponent suffers an extra +1d6 damage, and must make a Fort save (DC 11 + Dex modifier) or become Fatigued for 1 round.

I hate extra saves for effects that only last one round.

Remorseless
Level: Black Lotus 1 (Stance)

Whenever you drop a foe in combat, you gain temporary hit points equal to your ranks in Intimidate. These hit points do not overlap with themselves (or other temporary hit points), and last for 1 minute.

I think you mean they do overlap (do not stack).

Poison Swap
Level: Black Lotus 1 (Boost)

Until the end of your turn , you may apply or switch a poison to your weapons as a free action.

What does "switch a poison" mean? Just allowing someone to apply poison to his weapon as a Swift action seems fine for 1st level, particularly if you specify that there's no chance of accidentally nicking himself when using this maneuver.

Ambush Tactic
Level: Black Lotus 2 (Boost)
Until the end of your turn, your next melee sneak attack deals an extra 2d6 points damage + 1 per initiator level.

"your next" or "until the end of your turn", you can only have one.

Relentless Strikes
Level: Black Lotus 3 (Boost)

Until the end of your turn, any successful melee sneak attack allows you to make another sneak attack against the same target during your next turn.

Seems more like a [Tactical] feat than a maneuver -- maneuvers generally don't keep state between turns.

Venom Mastery
Level: Black Lotus 3 (Counter)

You can use this maneuver to reroll any failed attempt to apply poison to your foe. Additionally, if you would become poisoned, you may expend this maneuver to negate the poison entirely.

"apply poison to your foe"?

Slayer’s Presence
Level: Black Lotus 4 (Stance)
Range: 10 ft. Radius

Foes in the area suffer a -3 penalty to Will saves. Casters must make a concentration check in order to cast a spell.

Check DC?

Setup
Level: Black Lotus 5 (Boost)
Duration: Until the end of next turn; see text

Target opponent is considered flat-footed against your next turn attack. Lasts for 1 minute.

This makes no sense.

Shed Skin
Level: Black Lotus 5 (Su) (Boost / Counter)
Duration: 1 hour

This maneuver functions the same as the Alter Self spell, except that the new form must be the same size category of your normal size.
You may expend this maneuver to escape from any grapple hold, paralysis, slow or entanglement effect.

Seems more like a stance if it lasts for longer than a round.

Eyes of Massacre
Level: Black Lotus 6 (Stance)

This stance doubles the critical threat range when using light weapons. This effect stacks with other effects that increase threat range.

Even thrown light weapons?

Hemorrhage
Level: Black Lotus 6 (Boost)
Saving Throw: Fortitude partial

Until the end of your turn, your sneak deals an extra 4 points of Constitution damage, and causes the target to bleed for 1d4 points of damage each round at the start of its turn. Until the target receives the benefit of a DC 16 Heal check or any cure spell or similar magical healing. A successful Fortitude save (DC 16 + Dex modifier) reduces the Constitution damage by 2 and bleeding effect to 1d4 + 1 rounds. Creatures that are immune to critical hits are immune to the effects of this maneuver.

Way too much Con damage.

Gaze of Malice
Level: Black Lotus 7 (Boost)
Saving Throw: Will negates

Until the end of your turn, you gain a Gaze attack that causes foes within 30 ft. to become paralyzed (Will negates - DC 17 + Int modifier) for 1 round, and shaken afterwards. The shaken effect lasts for 1 minute. In addition, you get a competence bonus on confirming critical hits equal to half your intimidate ranks, rounded down.

Nasty, and perfect for a Coup de Grace.

A Hundred Demon Viper Bites
Level: Black Lotus 8 (Su) (Strike)
Range: 10 ft.
Saving Throw: Fortitude partial

As part of this maneuver, you summon ten black vipers from your arm, striking an opponent within 10 ft. using your highest base attack modifier. Each successful bite attack deals 1d4 + Str modifier, and initiates a grapple. The poisonous bites are considered to be coated with poison (Fort DC 18 + Int modifier) which inflicts Strength, Dexterity and Constitution damage as its initial and secondary damage. The amount depends on the number of vipers that hit the opponent; using the table below.
The vipers lasts until dismissed (as a move action) or the grapple is broken, and can be attacked. They have an AC of 15 and 18 HP each.
This maneuver provokes attacks of opportunity from opponents besides your target.

1-4 : 1d4
4-8 : 1d6
9-10: 2d4

Snakes coated in contact poison? That's an odd mechanic.

Also, for damage, the snakes deal 1d4 + SNAKE's Str, or 1d4 + PC's Str?

Cremator
Level: Black Lotus 8 (Strike)

As part of this maneuver, you make single melee attack. If successful, it deals an extra 7d6 points of acid damage. In addition, if this attack hits, the blood of the target turns highly acidic, the victim takes an extra 1d6 points of acid damage each round at the start of its turn for 3 rounds. If this attack kills the target or it dies within the 3 rounds, the body dissolves, leaving only a pile of organic carbonized ooze. Creatures killed while under the effect of this strike can only be returned to life by true resurrection and wish.

Flavorful, but a bit weak.

- - -

This is mostly editorial stuff, with only a few balance suggestions.

Cheers, -- N

 

[Zachariah]

Chosen Discipline? He only gets one?

Well its suppose to mean that he can choose a weapon from a discipline of which he knows atleast one maneuver. That could be Black Lotus, or Shadow Hand.

I hate extra saves for effects that only last one round.

Yeah its kinda lame indeed. I would like to make it last 1 minute. Is that alright for a lvl 1 maneuver? 1 round fatigue is almost useless anyway.

I think you mean they do overlap (do not stack).

Yes, i'll fix that.

What does "switch a poison" mean? Just allowing someone to apply poison to his weapon as a Swift action seems fine for 1st level, particularly if you specify that there's no chance of accidentally nicking himself when using this maneuver.

By switch poison I mean; if the weapon already has poison on it you may exchange that for another poison. I dont really know the game mechanics for applying poison to already poisoned weapons. So thats what I mean by switch. It can probebly just say apply.
Yes, its a good idea to add the no chance of poisoning yourself. Although he already has poison use as ability, but not until lvl 3.

"your next" or "until the end of your turn", you can only have one.

Yep, sentence correction error. I'll fix it.

Seems more like a [Tactical] feat than a maneuver -- maneuvers generally don't keep state between turns.

Hmmm, well I just want a sneak attack to allow for another sneak attack during next turn.. So that seemed the only way to go. Maybe you have an suggestion for a maneuver with similar effect?

"apply poison to your foe"?

Yes, by that I mean poisoning. When you poison a foe he needs to make a save. If he makes the save u can use this maneuver to force him to reroll, giving you a second chance to "apply" the poison to him. May need rewording, I'll look into it

Check DC?

Hmmm, thought that it was a fixed amound 10 + Spell level or something?

This makes no sense.

True, thats an error: The maneuver allows you to quickly analyze the opponents fighting paterns and revealing an opening, allowing you to make a sneak attack against the target in your next turn of combat. < Something like that.
The "lasts for 1 minute" part wasnt suppose to be there at all.

Seems more like a stance if it lasts for longer than a round.

Yes, I thought about making it a stance, but already have several. So I decided to make it a boost that was identical to the alter self spell. its a bit strange though, I dont even like it myself that much. Although the counter part seemed nice, maybe just leave it at that..? Or add some other alternative effect.

Even thrown light weapons?

No, should be melee only. Fixed.

Way too much Con damage.

is 4 to much? the additional bleeding isnt Con damage, its just normal damage. Its pretty on par with the other level 6 maneuvers.

Nasty, and perfect for a Coup de Grace.

Yeah, its made to be nasty and leave a bloody scene

Snakes coated in contact poison? That's an odd mechanic.
Also, for damage, the snakes deal 1d4 + SNAKE's Str, or 1d4 + PC's Str?

The coated with poison was a remenant of the formar discription. So needs to be fixed.
Im not yet sure what Str actually. The snakes are an extention of the PC's arm, but then again are snakes... What would you suggest? (keeping in mind balance)

Flavorful, but a bit weak.

Hmmm, ok. I could boost the initial damage to 8d6 to 10d6 or the secondary effect damage to 2d6. Maybe the boosted secondary damage goes more with the flavor. What do you think that damage should be?

------

Thanks a lot for the feedback, was truly helpful. Would you have any other suggestions for improvement?

Gratz,
Zack