Also, this was a public forum so its not up to one person to say if this is offensive or not. Nebula Conference has every right to say this isn't allowed at their functions.
As is often pointed out in these kinds of discussions, of course the Nebula Conference has every right to say what is and isn't allowed at their functions. That doesn't mean they're free from criticism of course. And the same applies to Lacky of course.
In my opinion, this was not handled appropriately. Mercedes Lackey used a poor choice of words- something I am sure she would have explained (and, most likely, apologized for). But the action of the organizers of the Nebular Conference was over-the-top and uncalled for. Both because they publicized her removal and tarred her with using a "racial slur" (thus leaving it to many people to assume the worst) and also because they tarnished what should have been the culmination of a lifetime of experience.
Based on the Nebula Conferenes statement, I had assumed Lacky must have either dropped the nuclear bomb of words in her speech or used a fairly seriously derogatory word. Like I said earlier, I'm never going to refer to someone using the word Lackey chose, but my first reaction to it isn't to take offense but to think, "Man, that's really archaic!" Though I suppose that could change based on the context.
We see this regularly as usages change and get misunderstood or discarded. For example, whether it is more proper to refer to someone as a Native American or Indian (which is a divisive issue for some within the community). Or in the instant case, the evolution of the term from one word (as in the College Fund) to colored (NAACP) to black to African-American to black to the broader "POC" (which is both overly broad and unwieldy at times).
Part of diversity is recognizing that we all have different experiences and that includes language used and even exposure to ideas. And I want to nip this in the bud: No, I'm not arguing that we should tolerate deliberate use of language that's designed to denigrate other people out of some misguided attempt at respecting diversity. But maybe, just maybe, when someone isn't using the currently preferred words or expressions, and doesn't appear to mean any harm, we can cut them a little slack. Correcting them is fine, but maybe we don't have to go nuclear and punish them. (I felt the same way about Whoopie Goldberg's recent gaff on
The View. I didn't agree with Goldberg, but maybe an African American woman has a different perspective on race than I do.)
I’m not an expert on incusionary language but should we be repeating the offending word every other response like it’s going out of style?
There are plenty of contexts were the word is perfectly acceptable to use. In front of children even.