However, being a con organizer means taking on the responsibility to handle these situations with a level head. The initial tweet meant that some amount of fitshorm (as you so aptly put it) was inevitable, but it could have been handled so much better than it was. The con could have de-escalated things and instead chose to escalate wildly.
Unless there is some further information I am unaware of, I agree with this 100%.
I don't put any blame on Ms. Lackey- based on what we know (and since the actual video isn't available) it really does appear to be a misstatement by someone who isn't comfortable with public speaking, and was explained and apologized for.
I don't put any blame on the person who raised the issue. While in an ideal world I would have preferred that she raise the issue at the time, or with the con organizers, or ... any medium other that Twitter ... I also understand that there will be times when people need to process, and for twitter, her original message was considerate, and wasn't a "name and shame."
But every single thing the con did made this worse. As far as I can tell based on what has been revealed, they didn't even discuss this with Ms. Lackey before booting her. They also did guilt-by-association and booted her husband (????). And then, most egregiously of all, they made a press release and publicized their actions (which is naming and shaming) ... and by using that verbiage and simultaneously removing the video, they made every single person assume the absolute worst about the person. I, like almost every single person who heard about this, assumed that there was some type of racist rant involving a very different word, based on the release and the severity and swiftness of the response.
Given that the SFWA had their own issue recently (as pointed out in this thread, they tweeted, and then stuffed down the memory hole, a reference to "comfort elf") I have to question how they could be so forgiving of their own verbal miscues and so unforgiving of others.
I wish we could all be a little more generous to each other, I guess. The world might be a little better.