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Mike Mearls Ruined Everything


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Zinovia

Explorer
Ruin

Once I surfed the ENWorld forums, waiting for our gamer quorum,
Reading many a quaint and curious post of whether gaming was for girls,
While I browsed, I chance discovered, rules updates had been uncovered,
O'er the link my mouse I hovered, hovered o'er a link to Mearls.
''Tis some errata,' I muttered, 'rulebooks changed by Mr. Mearls'
Clicked and watched as text unfurls.

Ah, distinctly I remembered it was in the late September,
As each separate glowing ember etched the screen in phosphor swirls,
I read the details of Essentials, wherein I could see potential,
For a wizard quintessential, with spells updated by Mike Mearls,
For a new and mighty wizard that was edited by Mearls,
Given us, like gleaming pearls.

Yet I knew it spelled the ruin of everything we had been doin',
Exchanging, changing, rearranging rules that governed all the world;
Every player min and max each of their myriad attacks,
Add powers new that each one lacks, thanks to changes wrought by Mearls,
Every player will want new attacks, thanks to ruin brought by Mearls,
Ruin causéd by Mike Mearls.
And that is all my boys and girls.

It's a joke, just in case you didn't realize
 
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R

RHGreen

Guest
You're all wrong, Mike Mearls improved everything.


I'm flaming, but it doesn't feel the same.




Damn it, Mearls ruined flaming.
 

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