My wife is making her first character (a work in progress)

[Sunglar]

Hello all… I lurk around here more than I post, and I’ve never shared anything too personal, but something happened today that has inspired me to share it with like-minded folk.

My wife of five years, and on and off girlfriend of three before we got married, picked up dice tonight for the first time and began rolling a character. I’ve played long before she met me, and she’s been exposed to gaming before so she has a notion of what she is getting into.

Before this she had refused to play, for personal reasons, nothing to do with religion or her beliefs. She has at times even seen the hobby as a nuisance, for it takes time away from her and other things (like finishing a thesis or the novel I keep talking about, but I digress).

Some days ago I mentioned I wanted to teach her. She laughed it off, but tonight she turned to me and asked me if the offer was still good. I was surprised and terribly pleased. We’ve all heard the advice, keep it rules light for the newbie, and focus on the imagination, not the number crunching. But she had one request, that I make it as complex and as detailed as my buddies and I do it. She had me print her a character sheet, roll and examine the best way to distribute her abilities, and skill points. She asked about the races, the classes. She poked a lot of fun at the game and the rules as I explained them, but I could see a genuine interest.

She settled on playing and Avariel Rogue, and rolled her stats, calculated her saves, her hit points, spent all her skill points, a daunting task but she wanted to calculate all the untrained skill values as well. She picked her feat before telling me she needed to sleep and that we would finish tomorrow. I even have the adventure I will run for her planned in my mind. Better get down to taking some notes.

This has been one surprising night. Enough gushing… Thanks for reading this rant.

Good night,

Sunglar

 

[der_kluge]

An Avarial rogue? What a power-gamer!

Seriously, that's great. My wife has played a few times. She's even vowed that she would never ever play with me as a DM, though. (I feared her character with a Balor, and she got bored as her character ran through the forest, and she blames me for it to this day).

The first game (in a one-shot), she made a druid. Greediest druid I'd ever seen. So, for the next game, I encouraged a rogue so that she could pilfer loot and have it be in character. It was perfect.

I think she enjoyed it, but she eventually grew tired of it. Just wasn't her thing in the end.

 

[Darklone]

Strange how many wives tend to play rogue type characters...

 

[tmaaas]

Strange how many wives tend to play rogue type characters...

OK, I'll add my wife to the list.

She plays a rogue in a Scarred Lands campaign. Of course, the rogue is a sixty-years-old grandmotherly type who can charm the socks off of almost anyone. With the proverbial bag full 'o tricks (makes good use of alchemical items and Use Magic Device).

Have fun, Sunglar. I hope your wife enjoys it as much as mine does.

 

[VorpalBunny]

I remember my wife's first character - a 1st edition druid for a Temple of Elemental Evil campaign I was running.

Man, that was a fun campaign. She hasn't played in a game since, but since I saw her thumbing through my Babylon 5 RPG books I'm hoping that may change...

 

[Luddite]

My wife surprised me recently when she said she would be interested in playing Stargate d20. She has played before, but not in any of my games. She never found the games interesting. So for her it is the setting that is going to get her playing.

Strangely I am more worried about her playing then not playing. Part of the success of our marage is that I have never attempted to teach her anything that I know. At most point her in the right direction, or offer some information to expidite her tasks. But never "teach."

Though I did buy her her own set of dice. To get started. So lets see how this goes.

-The Luddite

 

[Gina]

Strange how many wives tend to play rogue type characters...

You know, its strange.....most of the female gamers I know were drawn in by their husbands. Then there's me....my husband has NO interest at all beyond throwing in a few comments occasionally.

He did play once and strangely enough chose a rogue.

So, it seems to work both ways!

 

[stevelabny]

i read these "finally got my wife/girlfriend to play" threads all the time, and i gotta wonder...

why does it seem that most people assume that creating a character and learning to play is a "daunting task". there is nothing complex about it. I taught myself and my friends the game when i was 10.
If you taught one of your male geek friends the game, would you be as impressed with his interest and ability to do simple math and understand "playing pretend but with rules"?
Is it because they're women and must be stupid or un-geek oriented? (insulting to women)
Is it because you can't believe that the "special" sex would stoop down to your level? (Insulting to geeks, like me, GRRR)
Or is it something I'm missing?

I don't feel the need to coddle my girlfriend or be all impressed that she can fill out a character sheet. If I can do it, and my goofy friends can do it, why cant she? I also expect her to be able to feed herself and dress herself.

 

[Hjorimir]

My wife's character of choice is a sorcerer (sorceress to be specific). She loves to cast spells but can't be bothered with huge spell lists.

In response to stevelabny, I think it probably stems from the fact that so many of us have seen very few women who were interested enough to take the time to really know the rules. My wife plays, and I count myself lucky. But she doesn't really know the rules all that well. She knows how to do the things I normally ask her to do (roll initiative, cast those spells on her list, skill checks, and saving throws) and little more. But, really, how much more does somebody need to know in order to play?

Hell, one of the best damn role-players I've ever gamed with doesn't know the rules at all. He just explained to me what he wanted to do and asked what kind of dice to roll. Granted, he is a published author who is more interested in the role of the character than the roll of the character.

Enjoy playing with your wife, Sunglar. It flat out owns.

 

[tmaaas]

If you taught one of your male geek friends . . .

I think the operative descriptor here should be "geek," not "male."

If I taught a geek female friend, I would not be surprised if she wanted to jump into the nuts 'n bolts of the game. If I taught a non-geek male friend, I would not be surprised if he was bored with the number crunching aspects.

I think Sunglar's amazement is that his wife did not want to play for years, and now has not only shown interest (!) but a willingness to give it a real, in-depth try (!!!).

why does it seem that most people assume that creating a character and learning to play is a "daunting task". there is nothing complex about it. I taught myself and my friends the game when i was 10.

I have friends, both male and female, to whom learning "Settlers of Cataan" is new and complex. No, they're not stupid. They just grew up with a view of games limited to what you'd find in Toys R Us. The idea of spending two+ hours just learning and getting ready to play a new game is foreign.