Need some advice on player politics

[LadyDM]

I have 5 players, 2 women and 3 men the encompass a couple that are engaged to be married. This is common knowledge and a good thing. One of the other male players has come to me and said he doesn't want the players that are engaged to be engaged in game or have a relationship in game. Obviously this is not making the couple happy.

Last night, the whole party (save one) was killed. Everyone is creating new characters with backgrounds and the couple have come up with a creative background that has them related as adopted Uncle and nephew, (she is playing a male Dwarf, him a human that was abandoned as a baby found and raised by Dwarf's. Her character's brother is the adopter.) Knowing the other players as I do, 2 of them wouldn't care, the other would.

As a DM I try to make sure everyone is having fun and is comfortable while playing. Do I let one guy run the social structure of the game or tell him to just deal with it?

 

[Patryn of Elvenshae]

I'd *ask* him to deal with it.

Why doesn't he want the engaged people to be engaged in-game? Does he have an actual reason behind it, or what?

 

[Mark]

One of the other male players has come to me and said he doesn't want the players that are engaged to be engaged in game or have a relationship in game.

(...)

...wouldn't care, the other would.

(...)

Do I let one guy run the social structure of the game or tell him to just deal with it?

Ask him, politely, to knock it off or leave.

 

[Brain]

I'd advise speaking to the naysayer and find out why he has a problem with an in-game tie between the two. Is he feeling left out or something? Two of my friends always seem to have their characters be brothers or the like when they play, and I just find it amusing, although I've heard people say they are jealous or that they now want a sibling in the game. One time, the whole party ended up split into groups of two that were siblings. I wasn't in that game but I heard about it.

Anyways, if the guy has a legitimate beef (from your point of view) then try to work something out with the couple. If not, then ask him to deal with it.

 

[Chimera]

Do I let one guy run the social structure of the game or tell him to just deal with it?

You should probably tell him to just deal with it.

The caveat there is that you have to take a look at how their structured relationships and interaction include or don't include the guy who is complaining. Are they forming a little clique within the party that excludes him? Are they waving it in his face in any form or fashion?

In short, how does their little political game affect the party as a whole? If they're causing problems for other people and/or placing their little private relationship deals above the game, the party and the other players, then it's something you definitely need to deal with and no, he's not trying to run the game, he's trying to tell you that there is a problem!

 

[Crothian]

having the characters with a relationship that is not romantic like they have set up should not be a problem. He said he didn't want them to be "enganged" in game and they most certainly are not.

 

[Kirin'Tor]

I've had a similar beef in the past - played with a male\female couple who _always_ played hubby/wife, bf/gf, etc. in game. Not just a few times that I selectively remember - every single time they played starting the day they got together. Probably 11 pairs of characters, across several game systems (D&D, Vampire, Traveller, Raven-fricken-loft, Cthulhu) all together.

My beef was that it tottaly and completly broke any suspension of disbelief I had to see them constantly together. Granted, in some of the lighter RP-games it wasn't so bad, but both would totally abandon any character concept they had in favor of the super-coupel characters.

The male was once a scummy, schovanist, jerk rogue with no political or royal class whatsoever, who constantly bought whore and joked about all night whoring runs...but when his GF joined the game several hours later, he turned into the standard "Paladin for my Woman" he always played - even got angry in real life when one character said to his "So, how much did that fine lady go for?" - in the middle of a brothel!

I guess my point there was, there can be legitimate beef with that kind of situation, but it depends alot on the RP style of the group, and the dynamics between the two chars...

 

[JustKim]

Am I misunderstanding you? This player would be upset about two characters being uncle and nephew in a completely non-romantic dynamic? What would make you suspect he would be upset about this? Is he actually opposed to PCs being friendly and interacting, or has he imposed his own "rule" about PCs being related that has nothing to do with romance?

If I understand you then your group must have some strange flow for one player to be able to say "No, you can't know each other" and be tolerated. Let the couple play however they want and if this control freak player throws a fit because X and Y are friends, let him look like an idiot and maybe realize he shouldn't be making unreasonable demands of the group. Don't kowtow to him, you'll ruin two people's fun just to humor his nasty personality.

 

[Keeper of Secrets]

Despite how irritating it could be to have the characters pawing each other, the guy does not seem like he has any good reason for requesting/demanding that the engaged players not have characters with romantic interests. I just don't see why he cares.

 

[Goblyns Hoard]

Do I let one guy run the social structure of the game or tell him to just deal with it?

Since when did one player get creative rights over another players character? OK if they're impinging on his enjoyment they may be need to go and get a cold shower, that I understand. But I would never allow one player to dictate to another what they can or can't do... it's just not his call. Do they get equivalent creative control to veto aspects of his character? Would he tolerate it if they tried?