the Jester
Legend
It’s during dinner that the rumors reach our heroes: rumors of a nearby halfling community under threat. Yes, it is a diversion; but our heroes have been on the job at sea for quite some time, and it has been a while since they have come upon a group of their own kind in need. Now that it has happened... especially since (according to said rumors) the community is only a few miles outside of Lox Pentor... our heroes decide to see what they can do to help. They bring a pair of sailors from the Promised Land with them for additional muscle, though they don’t exactly spell out the nature of the threat.
Especially as the alleged threat comes from giants.
“Just because they’re bigger than us, they think they can push us around,” grumbles Queffe.
“We protect halflings,” grunts Chief Jawbreaker.
“Giants are stupid, anyway,” Ari points out in Halfling.
“Maybe they’ll have another retarded child,” Nara says wryly.*
So it is that our heroes set out for the halfling community. The walk goes quickly; a well-packed trail leads them easily to their goal, and when they find the place, the local halflings quickly warn them off. “Giants!” they cry. “We can’t fight them! They’re too big!”
“We’re bigger than we look,” Tron reassures them. “Do you guys have any rocks? You know, white rocks? Crahk? Come on, don’t be holding out on me!”
The halflings don’t have any crahk (at least, that they will admit to), but they do have some information. The giants- a pair of brothers- makes weekly trips to the halfling thorp, where they demand tribute- and by a stroke of luck, they are due sometime tonight. A quick survey of the territory leads our heroes to a small grove of trees, where they set up an ambush. Night has fallen, so a lantern hung from one of the branches gives our heroes a little light with which to see- but, unfortunately, also illuminates their position. The sailors are very nervous; by now, the cat is out of the bag. Giants!
When the giants arrive for their weekly extortion run, our heroes will spring their trap and slay them! Or at least that is the plan.
These giants are not as stupid as our heroes had hoped, however. From a distance they spy the party’s lantern, and after watching for a few minutes they come to the obvious conclusion: it’s a trap! So, instead of marching in and springing it, the giants decide to spring it at a distance, with boulders. A whistling sound, followed by a thunderous crack, announces that they have begun their assault; the tree the lantern is on shudders and cracks as a large rock smashes into it.
“They’re here!” shouts Queffe, loading her crossbow.
In the distance, the party can see dark silhouettes, much taller than themselves, outlined against the night sky. A great booming laugh comes from the two silhouettes, and then a volley of magic missiles shoots out into one of them. Beau grimly says, “First blood!”
Tron, meanwhile, concentrates for just a second and his mind blade flares into existence. Hollering, “Where’s my crahk??”, he begins moving forward.
“Tron, you idiot!” calls Nara. “Hang back for a minute!” Divine vigor flows through her, filling her with sacred power, but Tron isn’t listening.** Queffe’s crossbow sings as bolts shoot out, and Nara and Beau fire a combination of searing light and scorching ray at the giants. In the light of the combined rays, our heroes get a good look at the giants: coal-black skin, dirty red hair... and a laughing disregard for the scorching ray!
“They must be fire giants!” calls Nara. “Watch out, fire won’t hurt them!”
Meanwhile, Jawbreaker, being somewhat wiser than Tron, sneaks forward, trying to stay out of sight until he is close enough to charge. He winces as he sees Tron attempt to duel the two giants one-on-two... Stupid crahkhead, he thinks, shaking his head.
Ari attempts to use a powerful spell that he learned a while back and has yet to succeed with: gutroot. The giant he targets gulps as it feels something within its stomach rumble, but it throws off the effect. “Damn it!” Ari swears. “That has to work sometime!” Shaking his head, he begins the prayers that will allow him to call lightning.
The two sailors in the battle react with significantly less valor than our heroes had hoped, but hey, they’re low-level npcs. What do you expect? One of them flees in terror as more boulders smash into the grove of trees; the other hunkers down behind cover, shouting, “Get them!” Queffe winks at the shoulders as she reloads, moves forward, and keeps firing.
“Don’t worry, I got them!” Tron calls, swinging his mind blade into the leg of the giant closest to him. The giant roars in anger as blood begins to flow down his leg; then, with a pair of powerful blows, he crushes Tron to jelly.
“Tron!” cries Ari, directing a bolt of electricity at his killer. “Oh no!” At the same time, Nara fires another searing light, which catches the same giant in the face. With a booming shout of pain, the first of the giants falls.
And then, with a mighty battle cry (“HAAAAAAMMM!!!!”), Jawbreaker rushes the remaining giant, bringing his axe around in a swift, deadly blow- a blow that completely misses. The giant uses a backhand blow to knock Jawbreaker back a pace, but then, suddenly, Queffe and Nara are on either side of it as well. Lightning blasts down, disorienting it; and Jawbreaker’s axe sings as he tries again, a little more successfully this time. The giant, confused by these gnats (they never stung back before!) gives his fallen brother a crestfallen look; and then it swings its massive sword down at the ground, trying to cut Jawbreaker in two! The Chief leaps back, but the sword still catches his right foot, hacking off all of his toes as well as the front of his boot! Growling like a bear, Jawbreaker swings his axe in the opposite arc, straight up- and it sinks into the giant’s crotch, slicing up, up into his belly....
With a gasp, the giant falls back dead.
Gasping, our heroes take stock. Nara and Ari rush to tend the wounded, but it is too late to do anything about Tron: he is dead. In fact, he is paste.
“Now what?” pants Queffe.
“Rest?” suggests Ari. He gestures at the halfling thorp. The villagers are staring at our heroes in wonder.
“Rest,” nods the Chief. He wipes his axe blade clean on a giant tunic. “But first, loot.”
Next Time: Who will be Tron’s replacement? How will the vile cooking that Bacon Grease is doing work out? Our heroes return to the sunken temple of the jerren!
*She is, of course, referring to the time that our heroes found a retarded stone giant lost in the Underdark and helped him find his way home.
**Say it with me, folks: Wisdom of 1.
Especially as the alleged threat comes from giants.
“Just because they’re bigger than us, they think they can push us around,” grumbles Queffe.
“We protect halflings,” grunts Chief Jawbreaker.
“Giants are stupid, anyway,” Ari points out in Halfling.
“Maybe they’ll have another retarded child,” Nara says wryly.*
So it is that our heroes set out for the halfling community. The walk goes quickly; a well-packed trail leads them easily to their goal, and when they find the place, the local halflings quickly warn them off. “Giants!” they cry. “We can’t fight them! They’re too big!”
“We’re bigger than we look,” Tron reassures them. “Do you guys have any rocks? You know, white rocks? Crahk? Come on, don’t be holding out on me!”
The halflings don’t have any crahk (at least, that they will admit to), but they do have some information. The giants- a pair of brothers- makes weekly trips to the halfling thorp, where they demand tribute- and by a stroke of luck, they are due sometime tonight. A quick survey of the territory leads our heroes to a small grove of trees, where they set up an ambush. Night has fallen, so a lantern hung from one of the branches gives our heroes a little light with which to see- but, unfortunately, also illuminates their position. The sailors are very nervous; by now, the cat is out of the bag. Giants!
When the giants arrive for their weekly extortion run, our heroes will spring their trap and slay them! Or at least that is the plan.
These giants are not as stupid as our heroes had hoped, however. From a distance they spy the party’s lantern, and after watching for a few minutes they come to the obvious conclusion: it’s a trap! So, instead of marching in and springing it, the giants decide to spring it at a distance, with boulders. A whistling sound, followed by a thunderous crack, announces that they have begun their assault; the tree the lantern is on shudders and cracks as a large rock smashes into it.
“They’re here!” shouts Queffe, loading her crossbow.
In the distance, the party can see dark silhouettes, much taller than themselves, outlined against the night sky. A great booming laugh comes from the two silhouettes, and then a volley of magic missiles shoots out into one of them. Beau grimly says, “First blood!”
Tron, meanwhile, concentrates for just a second and his mind blade flares into existence. Hollering, “Where’s my crahk??”, he begins moving forward.
“Tron, you idiot!” calls Nara. “Hang back for a minute!” Divine vigor flows through her, filling her with sacred power, but Tron isn’t listening.** Queffe’s crossbow sings as bolts shoot out, and Nara and Beau fire a combination of searing light and scorching ray at the giants. In the light of the combined rays, our heroes get a good look at the giants: coal-black skin, dirty red hair... and a laughing disregard for the scorching ray!
“They must be fire giants!” calls Nara. “Watch out, fire won’t hurt them!”
Meanwhile, Jawbreaker, being somewhat wiser than Tron, sneaks forward, trying to stay out of sight until he is close enough to charge. He winces as he sees Tron attempt to duel the two giants one-on-two... Stupid crahkhead, he thinks, shaking his head.
Ari attempts to use a powerful spell that he learned a while back and has yet to succeed with: gutroot. The giant he targets gulps as it feels something within its stomach rumble, but it throws off the effect. “Damn it!” Ari swears. “That has to work sometime!” Shaking his head, he begins the prayers that will allow him to call lightning.
The two sailors in the battle react with significantly less valor than our heroes had hoped, but hey, they’re low-level npcs. What do you expect? One of them flees in terror as more boulders smash into the grove of trees; the other hunkers down behind cover, shouting, “Get them!” Queffe winks at the shoulders as she reloads, moves forward, and keeps firing.
“Don’t worry, I got them!” Tron calls, swinging his mind blade into the leg of the giant closest to him. The giant roars in anger as blood begins to flow down his leg; then, with a pair of powerful blows, he crushes Tron to jelly.
“Tron!” cries Ari, directing a bolt of electricity at his killer. “Oh no!” At the same time, Nara fires another searing light, which catches the same giant in the face. With a booming shout of pain, the first of the giants falls.
And then, with a mighty battle cry (“HAAAAAAMMM!!!!”), Jawbreaker rushes the remaining giant, bringing his axe around in a swift, deadly blow- a blow that completely misses. The giant uses a backhand blow to knock Jawbreaker back a pace, but then, suddenly, Queffe and Nara are on either side of it as well. Lightning blasts down, disorienting it; and Jawbreaker’s axe sings as he tries again, a little more successfully this time. The giant, confused by these gnats (they never stung back before!) gives his fallen brother a crestfallen look; and then it swings its massive sword down at the ground, trying to cut Jawbreaker in two! The Chief leaps back, but the sword still catches his right foot, hacking off all of his toes as well as the front of his boot! Growling like a bear, Jawbreaker swings his axe in the opposite arc, straight up- and it sinks into the giant’s crotch, slicing up, up into his belly....
With a gasp, the giant falls back dead.
Gasping, our heroes take stock. Nara and Ari rush to tend the wounded, but it is too late to do anything about Tron: he is dead. In fact, he is paste.
“Now what?” pants Queffe.
“Rest?” suggests Ari. He gestures at the halfling thorp. The villagers are staring at our heroes in wonder.
“Rest,” nods the Chief. He wipes his axe blade clean on a giant tunic. “But first, loot.”
Next Time: Who will be Tron’s replacement? How will the vile cooking that Bacon Grease is doing work out? Our heroes return to the sunken temple of the jerren!
*She is, of course, referring to the time that our heroes found a retarded stone giant lost in the Underdark and helped him find his way home.
**Say it with me, folks: Wisdom of 1.