[OT] If Dr. Seuss Wrote Horror.

[Blockader7]

This is what it might be like if Dr. Seus wrote horror instead of children's books:

How could one forget about a hearse?
Not to mention the curse.
And some songs have way too much verse.
Which of course would cause the corpse to flee the hearse.
Which would lead further to the spreading of the undead curse.


And roaming the streets the corpse would find its first victim a lady with her purse.

So it kills her spreading the undead curse that was not left at the hearse.

Of course now being meaningless to the new undead, it drops this one thing to the ground; the purse.

Which of course won't carry the curse.

Back to her home or the hearse.

 

[Wayside]

I love you. You just gave me the best idea.

Dear Dr. Seuss: kindly prepare
To meet a raunchy Baudelaire.

 

[Shadowdancer]

What do you mean, "If . . . ?" That "Horton Hears a Who" is some scary stuff.

 

[Olive]

Edward Gorey is a little bit Suess... a little bit more Adams Family.

 

[rpgHQ]

The Cat in the Blender
Herbert the Pervert Likes Sherbert
Fox in Detox
Horton Hires a Ho
The Flesh-Eating Lorax
How the Grinch Stole Columbus Day
Your Colon Can Moo-Can You
Zippy The Rabid Gerbil
Yentil the Lentil


well there was some more titles but theres noway i was gonna post them here

 

[rpgHQ]

THE OJ TRIAL AS TOLD BY DR. SEUS

I did not kill my lovely wife.
I did not slash her with a knife.
I did not bonk her on the head.
I did not know that she was dead.


I stayed at home that fateful night.
I took a cab, then took a flight.
The bag I had was just for me.
My bag! My bag! Hey, leave it be.


When I came home I had a gash.
My hand was cut from broken glass.
I cut my hand on broken glass.
A broken glass did cause that gash.


I have nothing, nothing to hide.
My friend, he took me for a ride.


Did you take this person's life?
Did you do it with a knife?


I did not do it with a knife.
I did not, could not, kill my wife.
I did not do this awful crime.
I could not, would not, anytime.


Did you hit her from above?
Did you drop this bloody glove?


I did not hit her from above.
I cannot even wear that glove.
I did not do it with a knife.
I did not, could not, kill my wife.
I did not do this awful crime.
I could not, would not, anytime.


And now I'm free, I can return
To my house for which I yearn.
And to my family whom I love.
Hey now I'm free -- Give back my glove!!




p.s. I cant remember where i got this one so cant give credit to the proper person, but suffice to say its not mine

 

[Henry]

One Yig, two Yig
Red Yig Blue Yig
I cannot shoot it with a gun,
It's far too fast for me to run,
It's much too early for morning sun
I say, I say, I must be done!

Cthulhu this, Cthulhu that,
Good Lord, he's swallowed the Cat in the Hat!
I fear the world is his hot-buttered toffee-
Oh, Neat, my drool is colored like coffee...

 

[Mouseferatu]

Back in high school, a friend of mine and I had to do a video-taped version of one canto of Dante's Inferno.

So we rewrote the entire canto in Dr. Seuss style.

I'm told the teacher is still showing it to her classes, 11 years later.

I don't think I still have the script, but if I can dig it up somewhere, I'll post it...

 

[Blockader7]

This is good stuff. Keep it coming!