Our world through the eyes of a D&D inhabitant

[drothgery]

What do you mean, I can only play a Human?!

And the 'Western Europe', 'North America', 'Japan', and 'Australia' starting regions are way overpowered. I mean
- you start with like 100 times as much gold as anywhere else
- if you're out of gold, the government will pay you for a while
- you get immunity to a bunch of otherwise deadly diseases for free
- you get access to all sorts of starting classes and equipment that aren't available elsewhere
- and all this just costs a small CON penalty that you can buy off

 

[nightwyrm]

What do you mean my level doesn't help me survive! I don't get any extra hp when I level? So my lv 20th character can be killed by a lv 1 noob with a knife.

This game is completely unbalanced. Who designed this crap!

 

[Bullgrit]

I hate technology as magic!

Falling damage is brutal!

Speaking of damage, don't the writers know that a death spiral is bad design?

The cave ecologies make no sense. Where are the goblins, drow, and green slime? Why even bother delving?

Wait, wait, look at the stats on "nuclear weapons"? Why would anyone use soldiers, tanks, or bombs?

Bullgrit
Total Bullgrit

 

[El Mahdi]

Houses and Humans?

No thank you! Way too rules heavy and simulationist for my taste.

Also, how in the hell is this green paper stuff good for buying things? (Although coins seem extremely plentiful - my neighbor - a 1st level npc checkout clerk - has like a dozen jars just full of copper and silver pieces!)

And all of the stuff you have to keep track of: checking accounts, credit cards, INTEREST RATES. Gods, if I wanted to be an accountant I'd go join a monastery and become a scribe!

 

[Xyxox]

Okay, I'm going to make a Lotto check.

What do you mean "roll all zeros on 8d10"?

 

[Cryptos]

Ok. Wait. I have an Intelligence score of 18 and my skill bonuses are through the roof. I've got Craft: Computer, Knowledge: Technology, Knowledge: Bureaucracy, Sense Motive, Drive, Repair, and multiple profession skills as well as a bonus language. Why do I have to sit in this thing... this cubey-kal... all day and listen to this supervisor guy? Because I failed my DC 25 student loan payment check as a prerequisite to the Advanced Degree feat? And that's because I didn't choose the right background for my character to get a bonus to that check? How did that guy get to be supervisor, anyway? Bluff and diplomacy checks and the nepotism feat?! Man, that's broken!

Hang on... do you mean to tell me you've got all these people trading and communicating with each other, they're all the same species, and they don't have the Common tongue? I'd have to take 144 language feats to speak with all the NPCs? And there's no spell or ritual to comprehend languages?

Hey, why don't any of these deities grant bonuses or domain powers to their followers? What's the point?

What do you mean it's illegal for me to use my Craft Potions feat and herbalism skill and sell the substances I create to people?! What about all that stuff people get at the apothocary? It's only legal if you have faction with a multinational pharmacuetical company and craft something artificial that does the same thing but destroys your liver and makes you save vs. death? Your faction has to have members of the Lobbyist prestige class and contacts at the FDA, too?

Man, this is crazy. I'm trying really, really hard to immerse myself and stay in character, but I just don't believe this campaign setting is internally consistent. It's completely arbitrary and contrived.

 

[Mark Hope]

Why do copper and silver coins from one country have a different value to copper and silver coins from another country? Come to think of it, I'm not sure these coins really are copper or silver. And where is the gold? I've been playing this stupid game for years now and I've never even seen a gold coin, much less owned one. Crappy wealth-by-level system doesn't work at all if you ask me.

And the DM won't tell me my stats!

 

[Achan hiArusa]

So we can play a game to play a game to be us...
wait a minute.

 

[roguerouge]

Hey, wait a minute. There's this reference in this Knowledge skill to some game within the game that looks pretty familiar. You kill things and take their stuff. Magic works. The dead come back to life frequently if they're rich and powerful. And, evidently, it snows a lot cause the company's named after a blizzard.

 

[orsal]

They got rid of gnomes all together?! They're not even in the Monster Manual! I'm not playing in any game that doesn't have any gnomes in it.

You're looking in the wrong place. They aren't listed in the Monster Manual; they're in the Equipment list, under "Lawn Ornaments".

But really, you don't want to play one. In this game, they don't really do anything. They don't even have any spell-like abilities. Why the game designers even called them `gnomes' is beyond me.