I've been dealing with death a lot the past few months. This is a thread in which to post things you've learned about dealing with death in the real world, in hopes of alleviating the problems others may have. If you have any other suggestions than the ones I list here, feel free to add them.
As some of you know, I'm an Entertainment attorney. I recently handled my first probate case for someone who otherwise couldn't afford representation. Probate in Texas is usually pretty simple unless something gets overlooked.
Which brings up...
1) When drafting a will, either for a client, yourself, or a person who is mentally competent to draft a will but physically unable to do so, make sure the will names an Executor.
That was the problem in my case- everything else was in order, but the people who drafted the will (aiding a terminally ill patient) hadn't been able to agree on an Executor, so none was named. This meant the Probate Court had to step in and approve someone. As a result, a process that could have been finished in under a month dragged out almost 4 months, costing the estate a significant portion of its value as stock prices dropped. It was quite traumatic for the family of the deceased.
Depending upon where you live, any competent adult may be named Executor, and several kinds of businesses may be named as well, especially banks and insurance companies, many of which have departments devoted to managing estate assets.
2) Make sure someone- preferably multiple persons- outside of your household knows the full contact information for people you would want notified of your death.
It doesn't need to be much- a letter, an email, a file on a CD-ROM or flash drive- but it could make the task of your survivors that much easier. Include not just friends, but those with whom you have business dealings- lawyers, accountants, banks, and anyone with whom you have any kind of rental agreement.
Someone I've known for 20 years was recently discovered dead. He was a very friendly man, but he referred to everyone by their first names. He also kept his life very compartmentalized- many of the people he knew only knew a few of the others (oddly enough, almost like a bunch of terrorist cells). Even fewer knew he had living relatives- and nobody knows their last name or where they are. On top of that, we've only been able to locate one of his lawyers (we know he has one in another city handling a case for him).
In other words, finding out whom to notify has proven quite daunting.
In addition, his faith requires certain rituals be carried out...and only one of his friends knew what those were. Had we been unable to notify that friend, the dictates of his faith would not have been satisfied.
Because of this, we've all been looking at our own lives with a bit more caution- my parents only know 3 of my friends by their full names, and only have the contact info for 1. Clearly, I need to do better.
3) Most states leave the responsibility for cleaning up after a death up to the property owner.
What most people don't realize about this is that, depending upon how long the deceased has been there, that location could be a serious biohazard- serious enough that cleaning with most household cleansers will be insufficient. The dead body of a human can be a terrible disease vector, not to mention being traumatic.
However, there are increasing numbers of businesses that do biohazard-level cleanup of such sites, usually under the heading of "Crime Scene Cleaners" or something similar. They use industrial biomedical strength cleansers, respirators and similar equipment, not bleach, dishwashing gloves, and a paper mask.
My advice: if you do find a body, do yourself a favor and use a pro if you can afford it.
As some of you know, I'm an Entertainment attorney. I recently handled my first probate case for someone who otherwise couldn't afford representation. Probate in Texas is usually pretty simple unless something gets overlooked.
Which brings up...
1) When drafting a will, either for a client, yourself, or a person who is mentally competent to draft a will but physically unable to do so, make sure the will names an Executor.
That was the problem in my case- everything else was in order, but the people who drafted the will (aiding a terminally ill patient) hadn't been able to agree on an Executor, so none was named. This meant the Probate Court had to step in and approve someone. As a result, a process that could have been finished in under a month dragged out almost 4 months, costing the estate a significant portion of its value as stock prices dropped. It was quite traumatic for the family of the deceased.
Depending upon where you live, any competent adult may be named Executor, and several kinds of businesses may be named as well, especially banks and insurance companies, many of which have departments devoted to managing estate assets.
2) Make sure someone- preferably multiple persons- outside of your household knows the full contact information for people you would want notified of your death.
It doesn't need to be much- a letter, an email, a file on a CD-ROM or flash drive- but it could make the task of your survivors that much easier. Include not just friends, but those with whom you have business dealings- lawyers, accountants, banks, and anyone with whom you have any kind of rental agreement.
Someone I've known for 20 years was recently discovered dead. He was a very friendly man, but he referred to everyone by their first names. He also kept his life very compartmentalized- many of the people he knew only knew a few of the others (oddly enough, almost like a bunch of terrorist cells). Even fewer knew he had living relatives- and nobody knows their last name or where they are. On top of that, we've only been able to locate one of his lawyers (we know he has one in another city handling a case for him).
In other words, finding out whom to notify has proven quite daunting.
In addition, his faith requires certain rituals be carried out...and only one of his friends knew what those were. Had we been unable to notify that friend, the dictates of his faith would not have been satisfied.
Because of this, we've all been looking at our own lives with a bit more caution- my parents only know 3 of my friends by their full names, and only have the contact info for 1. Clearly, I need to do better.
3) Most states leave the responsibility for cleaning up after a death up to the property owner.
What most people don't realize about this is that, depending upon how long the deceased has been there, that location could be a serious biohazard- serious enough that cleaning with most household cleansers will be insufficient. The dead body of a human can be a terrible disease vector, not to mention being traumatic.
However, there are increasing numbers of businesses that do biohazard-level cleanup of such sites, usually under the heading of "Crime Scene Cleaners" or something similar. They use industrial biomedical strength cleansers, respirators and similar equipment, not bleach, dishwashing gloves, and a paper mask.
My advice: if you do find a body, do yourself a favor and use a pro if you can afford it.
