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Problem player in my group
- Thread starter EroGaki
- Start date
nimisgod
LEW Judge
That is really odd. I actually had a player who had nearly the same "idiosyncracies" as this "Fred" of yours (I also have a player named Fred, but he's awesome).
"Had" of course, is the operative word since I've since stopped playing with him. His attitude just kept bringing everyone down. My games have been a lot better ever since, definitely a lot more positive anyway.
Were I in the same position as you, I would have the GM talk to him, or if I were his friend, talk to him myself about his behavior. Maybe he can stem it (mine wasn't really able to) or keep it to himself. Or maybe direct his frustration in character.
"Had" of course, is the operative word since I've since stopped playing with him. His attitude just kept bringing everyone down. My games have been a lot better ever since, definitely a lot more positive anyway.
Were I in the same position as you, I would have the GM talk to him, or if I were his friend, talk to him myself about his behavior. Maybe he can stem it (mine wasn't really able to) or keep it to himself. Or maybe direct his frustration in character.
Mother Superior
First Post
Then his bad behavior is obviously consistent, in which case he needs to be asked to leave. If his behavior is affecting the rest of the group negatively and he is unable or unwilling to drop it, he needs to go. It's that simple. It makes no sense to sacrifice the entire group's enjoyment of the game for the sake of one person.
Really? I don't know you, "Fred" or anyone else in your group, but from what you've been describing he doesn't sound like he has been a friend to you at all. If he is really a friend, then he should prove it to you and the others by being respectful and putting your feelings above his. That's how real friends behave toward one another.
MS
the Jester
Legend
Hey, I had this same exact problem a couple of years ago! An old friend that had been in my game for over a decade was throwing tantrums when he'd feel challenged, or he'd just assume that any challenge that he couldn't instantly see a solution to was insurmountable. He would sulk, talk about killing other pcs' characters when they did something he didn't agree with (and he was supposed to be CG), etc.
After he stopped playing with us, every single player in our group came up to me at one point or another to tell me how much better the game was. Even dude's best friend.
Talking hasn't worked, time to try the boot. Talk to the dm and the other players; if they agree that he's spoiling the fun, or at least badly impacting it, the dm should have a sit down with him and say, "Look, Fred, we've talked about this before and it hasn't worked. Either you knock it off and keep it knocked off, or you're out. That doesn't mean that we don't all want to be your friend, it just means that you don't fit in our game." And the next lapse, boot him mercilessly at the end of the session. "Sorry, we've talked about this a bunch; you're making the game less fun for everyone else, so BOOT."
After he stopped playing with us, every single player in our group came up to me at one point or another to tell me how much better the game was. Even dude's best friend.
Talking hasn't worked, time to try the boot. Talk to the dm and the other players; if they agree that he's spoiling the fun, or at least badly impacting it, the dm should have a sit down with him and say, "Look, Fred, we've talked about this before and it hasn't worked. Either you knock it off and keep it knocked off, or you're out. That doesn't mean that we don't all want to be your friend, it just means that you don't fit in our game." And the next lapse, boot him mercilessly at the end of the session. "Sorry, we've talked about this a bunch; you're making the game less fun for everyone else, so BOOT."
roguerouge
First Post
My response to negativity in game is virtually always to RP extreme optimism.
Fred's sulking about the giants' hp? "Hah! We'll get you yet!"
Fred's sulking about using all his spells? "We got more where that came from!" [sulks for round] "And still more!" [sulks for round] "Still got more!"
Fred's upset about the unknown? "Never heard of it! Great! I'll do the autopsy and you sketch its internal organs and physiology. We'll be famous!"
Fred wants attention? "Great! I'm glad you're here. I need you to do something for me. Watch this guy as I talk to him. Don't say anything, but let me know afterwards if you get a funny feeling about him."
Fred wants attention? Pull a practical joke on his character. When he reacts, just say, "You seemed lonely. So I thought, hey, 'laughter's the best medicine,' right?"
This will result in:
a) Fred gets out of his funk.
b) Fred stays in funk, but the rest of the players stay chipper and/or amused.
c) Fred gets annoyed and you got sweet, sweet, passive-aggressive revenge.
d) Fred stops playing with you, because you're the problem.
e) Fred finds a new way to be annoying.
This has been your CN advice for the thread.
Fred's sulking about the giants' hp? "Hah! We'll get you yet!"
Fred's sulking about using all his spells? "We got more where that came from!" [sulks for round] "And still more!" [sulks for round] "Still got more!"
Fred's upset about the unknown? "Never heard of it! Great! I'll do the autopsy and you sketch its internal organs and physiology. We'll be famous!"
Fred wants attention? "Great! I'm glad you're here. I need you to do something for me. Watch this guy as I talk to him. Don't say anything, but let me know afterwards if you get a funny feeling about him."
Fred wants attention? Pull a practical joke on his character. When he reacts, just say, "You seemed lonely. So I thought, hey, 'laughter's the best medicine,' right?"
This will result in:
a) Fred gets out of his funk.
b) Fred stays in funk, but the rest of the players stay chipper and/or amused.
c) Fred gets annoyed and you got sweet, sweet, passive-aggressive revenge.
d) Fred stops playing with you, because you're the problem.
e) Fred finds a new way to be annoying.
This has been your CN advice for the thread.
roguerouge
First Post
More seriously, I've had friends that I couldn't live with and we stayed friends. I've had friends I couldn't work with and we stayed friends. It's okay if you put it that way.
ExploderWizard
Hero
If every other player in your group feels the same way then you really need to have an open discussion with Fred and the DM. Sitting silently and not enjoying something that should be fun is no way to live. Confronting Fred about the problem will at least give you peace of mind.
If Fred is oblivious and doesn't realize he is ruining your fun then perhaps this will help him become more self aware.
If Fred knows he is irritating and its bothering the rest of you perhaps he can be convinced to behave better.
If Fred knows he is a PITA and doesn't care, kick him from your group because there is no worse kind of "friend" then one who knowingly causes misery to others and refuses to change.
If Fred is oblivious and doesn't realize he is ruining your fun then perhaps this will help him become more self aware.
If Fred knows he is irritating and its bothering the rest of you perhaps he can be convinced to behave better.
If Fred knows he is a PITA and doesn't care, kick him from your group because there is no worse kind of "friend" then one who knowingly causes misery to others and refuses to change.
Dragonbait
Explorer
How did Fred react when he was given a "talkin' to?" Did he realise that he was causing problems?
I've experienced several negative players. When confronted, in a non-hostile manner, one rejected the thought that she was causing problems and blamed everyone else. The other didn't realize that they were causing problems and adjusted his behavior. Guess who stayed?
You're right! The girl, because it was a female who tolerated us!
No.. Just kidding.. I couldn't resist that last part.
I've experienced several negative players. When confronted, in a non-hostile manner, one rejected the thought that she was causing problems and blamed everyone else. The other didn't realize that they were causing problems and adjusted his behavior. Guess who stayed?
You're right! The girl, because it was a female who tolerated us!
No.. Just kidding.. I couldn't resist that last part.
Arnwyn
First Post
Extremely unfortunate - IMO, you should be doing the exact opposite.
Telling him to shut his pie-hole, and that he's wrecking things for you (and maybe everyone else) - especially each and every time when #2 and #3 occurs - might go a long way.
(And I wholly disagree with Mark and Knightfall1972 - don't necessarily involve the already overworked DM, unless your DM has already expressed further/continued interest in this particular conflict - players should police themselves, AFAIC.)
I'm fairly sure Fred knows that his tantrums are disruptive; he and I have had a confrontation once about that very issue. It did not end well, and nothing really came of it. I know our DM has had a few talks with him, but it was between the two of them. I've never actually witnessed his reactions to our DM's efforts, except I can say that they have ultimately proven ineffective. The sad fact is that I know he is trying to avoid being disruptive. He used to go on long, annoying rants every time something bothered him. Now, he just sulks. The only problem is that his sulking is just as disruptive as his rants, if not more so.
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