Problems with a newbie player

[Timeboxer]

So during the school year, I usually run an Eberron game, and most of my players have done pretty well getting into it, and so on. We started with a few newbie players, and I figured that they'd sort of come out of their shell and get pretty engaged after a few sessions, and so they did -- except for one.

I make an effort to go around the table and put the spotlight on everyone so that everyone has a chance to do something, in most situations, so that everyone can more or less be able to have some GM attention to do whatever they'd like. But whenever I turn to her and ask her, "What are you doing?" she'll usually just shrug, or say, "I do nothing," or "I stand around and watch." At first I thought that this was just a momentary thing, but she's kept it up for several months at this point (we're actually on hiatus for the summer), and I'm a little bit concerned that she doesn't seem to be having any fun. When the rest of the players are busy roleplaying and squabbling and that sort of thing, she usually is sitting there quietly or playing with her laptop or something similar.

Now, discussions with her have ended with her saying that she's not a casual player or anything, but that she feels, um, I'd say paralyzed by the game because she feels that she doesn't know the rules well enough -- the other players do pretty well, and she says that she doesn't really know what she can and can't do. They've also got a good grasp on what's feasible and what isn't, and, I'm told, she's upset about having her ideas and contributions responded to with, "Well, that's not doable, and this is why," by the other players.

I can understand this, but from my perspective -- well, it seems like she doesn't actually suggest or do anything, even in the situations that don't necessarily require the group to work together, like solving puzzles and the like. I'm not entirely sure what to do with her if she says that she feels overwhelmed and that nobody pays attention to her contributions, but when I try to focus on her she to try to explore what she wants to do, she doesn't seem very interested in actually doing anything.

I'd be okay with her being a Lurker (one of the player types listed in the DMG II) but this has actually caused a bit of trouble in our group, as in the last session she packed up her books and left in a huff. So, any suggestions on what I can do?

 

[Crothian]

Are you in touch with her before the game starts back up? If so teach her the rules. If not, try to get in touch with her and ask her to learn the rules as a summer reading program or something like that.

When you start back up, have a talk with her out of game about what she is doing and be direct with her. During game as her what she wants to do, rules be damned. Don't tell her she can';t do that, explain to her if it is difficult or try to work with her to figure out what she can do that does work. Some times a new player neds a little extra help, if you both have the time you can set up tutoring sessions or something.

 

[Jdvn1]

If you have time, try a short solo game with her. Or single her character out in a situation where... say, she gets captured or something or an important NPC requests to speak with her.

I had a really small Halfling Psion, in 3.0, who was chosen to be the 'champion' of my party in a one-on-one battle to win an important item. My character was probably the least fit for the battle, but I squeaked it out and was able to use the situation for really interesting roleplaying opportunities.

Ask her if she likes her character, and why or why not. Play on the character's strengths. If not, let her make a new one. If she opts to make a new one, make he entrance into the party something special--have it be a sequence she has to go through or something.

If you notice any of this happening:

she's upset about having her ideas and contributions responded to with, "Well, that's not doable, and this is why," by the other players.

then interrupt the other players with, "Well, it might work if you do it this way. Good idea."

 

[Breakdaddy]

You might want to ask her point-blank what her motivation is to come to the game. She isnt doing much socializing from the sound of it, so it will probably be something about the game itself. If you can pin her down on it, you might be able to enhance her gaming experience by playing to it. Is it possible she really wants to roleplay but feels stifled by the gaming environment (or embarrased)? If not, then perhaps she is confused by the pace of the game, and needs a one-on-one session (per the above post) to clarify the rules a bit and make her more comfortable with what she can actually accomplish in-game.