<Rant> Where has courtesy gone?

[Zander]

Harmon,

I agree with you too.

Now I am six foot plus, two hundred thirty pounds...

It's even worse when you're not built like a tank. :\

 

[Zander]

[My dad] raised me to refer to elders as Mr. or Mrs.

Same here. I still address elders by their title and surname unless they invite me to do otherwise or it's clear from the situation that they are happy to be called by their given name.

I have to say, and maybe I'm just old fashioned, that it bugs me when strangers assume that it's OK to call me by my given name even when they know my title and surname. It presumes that we are equal or that I'm inferior which in certain situations isn't the case.

 

[yennico]

I agree, common courtesy is no longer common and it is actually rare these days. I don't get it. And agree with you 100%.

Ditto

 

[Spell]

Another thing is more personal in nature- why is it that I feel that I am being perceived in a negative fashion? My intent is one manner and perceived in the opposite. Are my courtesies perceived in a negative fashion? Are my thank yous taken as condescending? My apologizes seen as half assed? The word, please, when it leaves my lips do people take it in an unkind fashion? Is that why I feel so many people are becoming rude and uncaring? Is it that they perceive me as being rude and uncaring so they return the favor?

if that helps, you are not alone, in feeling that when you are courteous to somebody, they misunderstand you. i try to be nice with everybody, when i can, but i noticed that the majority (90%) of girls that i know try to avoid me, as if chatting and being polite and helpful means that i'm making moves on them. fortunately i do have "normal" female friends that understand that i'm just treating them as i treat my male friends, but sometimes it is quite upsetting or frustrating... also because i can't come out of the blue and tell them "you know, i'm not trying to date you" (the answer would be something like "good for you"...)

that said, i have met a lot of corteous people in newcastle. i wish i could say the same of people in my hometown in italy...

 

[Spell]

People are just plain rude these days. They think being jerks will get them anywhere that niceness just won't. I'd rather be courteous to nice people than rude ones, who get a look.

the funny thing is that the opposite is true... i have managed to have many special favours, through the years, just because i'm "that nice guy"... things i wouldn't have got if i was unpolite.
it is also true that sometimes people take advantage of niceness and politeness, though. :I

 

[ZuulMoG]

See, my dad was born in '24, my mom in '30, me in '69. I know how to be polite, because rudeness was driven far from me, along with foolishness, via the rod of correction.

It was a sad, sad day when Cpl. Punishment had his stripes taken away.

 

[Darkness]

the funny thing is that the opposite is true...

Is also true, to be exact. Jerks get their way rather often as well.

Personally, I'm polite unless circumstances necessitate otherwise (and sometimes technically even then - technically).

 

[John Q. Mayhem]

I try to be polite. I can't stand people who are foolishly, constantly, aggresively rude. I guess Virginia isn't far enough South

 

[Umbran]

I think it is pretty common to think the "good old days" were better than today, but usually they weren't. It can be very difficult to distinguish between, "I notice this more these days" with, "This happens more these days."

There have been rude humans since we dropped out of the trees, if not before.

 

[Thornir Alekeg]

I understadn what you are saying Harmon, but I'm not sure that things are really that much different than 20 or 30 years ago. One thing that happens many times is that people tend to noitce the things that upset them more than those that they expect. I know in my town there is still a lot of common courtesy. I see it all the time. There are also people who are the jerks you are speaking of, but I don't think there really are more of them or they are more rude than they used to be.

I know "kids these days" aren't really that much worse than when I was one of "those kids." On first glance it seems they must be worse, but when I take a step back and really look at what I was like at 17... .

Would it be nice if more people were kinder to each other? You bet. But rather than getting upset about it, I really try to make a conscious effort to act as I would want others to act. I try to be courteous and sincere. I'll give up my seat on the T for an elderly person, or someone with kids, or just someone carrying a lot of things. I get funny looks about it sometimes, but I like to think that maybe someone else might notice what I did and next time they will be willing to do it as well.