Living in the Tenth Century ISBN0226246213
For the best historical run down of this I would suggest:
If you want dress and mores and how they determined where someone sat in relation to the king the most definative I know of is Living in the Tenth Century by Heinrich Fichtenau translated by Patrick Geary. (I mention him because his work is priceless when researching the middle ages, you will see him in almost every bibliography.) What he essentially talks about is the courts and what was expected in polite (and impolite) society at that time (900-1000AD) Glancing at the table of contents you get headings for:
Ranking of cities and churches
Seating arrangements at religious assemblies
Ranking in the Secular Sphere
Customs and Symbols
Custom and tradition
Specific Gestures:Favor and Disgrace
A whole chapter called Rrepresentation as evidence of Status covers:
Reception
Hommage and Obligatory Processions
Retinues
Banquets
Table Manners
Secular marks of Status (clothes jewelry weapons, horses)
Ecclesiastical Marks of Status
Other Chapters:
Family and Clan
Patriarchal Lordship
The Familial Model
The Noble
The King: Includes:
Kingship and Nobility
Sacred Kingship
Administering the Kingdom
The Emperor
Qualities of the ruler
The King at War
Advisers
The Queen
More Chapters:
The Bishop
Worldly Clerics
Hermits and Reformers
Monastic Life
Education and School in the Monastery
Popular Beliefs
Peasant Existance
Stratification and Mobility (getting above the station of your birth)
Disorder and public Coercion
Lies and Deceit
Illegitimate Power (from robbers to war to repression)
This book is a great source even all the way into the 14th century because after 1000 things really did not change all that much as social matters were concerned.
Other references you might be interested in:
Queens, Concubines and Dowagers by Pauline Stafford covers the women near the king and might help as women did pretty much run the household and therefor did have a controling interest in how the court operated. Another to look into in this vein is Medieval Queenship by Parsons Carmi John
Depending on period, you might want to examine the court of Elizabeth I. Her court is probably the most documented for her era mainly because it was so very renaisance in nature and very popular. I would hevily suggest doing research on her court for ideas.
For a more traditional view there are two series that rock when it comes to Monarchs and that is
The Oxford English History (this is divided by period, so you have the 13th century as one book for example)
And Probably the most intense works on english monarchs is The Yale English Monarchs series (there is one for each monarch I think.)
All of this reading is pretty academicly intense. But reading just a few will give you a good idea of what was expected at court. I would recommend reading Living in the Tenth Century. And maybe reading Queens Concubines and Dowagers and lightly looking over the Monarch and History serials.
If you read one book on this I would say Living in the Tenth Century.
Also, a more laypersons view is best set out in Chriton's Timeline. But the detail is scant, and it deals more with life in general and time travel theories. However the Bibliography in this book is to die for.
If you combine all the bibliographies from "Living" "Timeline" and the Yale and Oxford Serials, you will have what is probably the best listing of books on the medieval ages ever.
Hope this helps...
Happy reading!
Aaron.