Room Description in RPGs

[Vorput]

The largest, who wears a chef's hat and stained apron looks at you and shouts 'Bree-yark!'"

Bree-yark?! Thems fighting words...

 

[ExploderWizard]

Bree-yark?! Thems fighting words...

No way. Bree-yark means "we surrender" in goblin. That small beer hating bartender at the keep told me so. He wouldn't lie to me. Right?

 

[CharlesRyan]

"You burst through the door and find yourself in a reeking kitchen. A huge fire burns against the back wall. A wide table covered with rotted meat stands to your left. Six leering goblins crowd the chamber. The largest, who wears a chef's hat and stained apron looks at you and shouts 'Bree-yark!'"

The players need to know where they are (a kitchen) and they need to know any features that might be tactically interesting (a table for higher ground, a fire to push enemies into). They don't need to know the contents of the spice rack or what's inside the cabinets.

You're right about what they need to be told, but your execution in this example isn't keeping its eyes on the prize. Don't just think in terms of what you need to communicate tactically; think about what you would take in in the first second or two if you were the one bursting through the door. (Save additional details for after the encounter or when the players ask for them.)

1. The most important feature is almost certainly the monsters
2. Limit additional key features to just 2 or 3 things, tops
3. Tactical details are better illustrated on the battlemat, when possible, than in words (so avoid exact dimensions, exact placement of furniture, and so forth; instead, draw them on the battlemat)
4. On the flip side, description is the best place to convey atmosphere, but keep it to a "glance" level as well
5. Minimize, or, better, avoid any assumptions about the PC's point of view or actions (the "You burst through the door" bit)

I'd go with something like this:

"A group of goblins crowd what is clearly a kitchen; the largest wears a chef's hat and stained apron. A huge fire dominates one wall, with a large table against the other. The room is heavy with the stench of smoke and rotting meat."​

That said, recently I've moved away from a prose format for descriptive text--even when short, it's boring to listen to someone read. I've gone with using bullet points, because they encourage me to deliver the info in a manner that's more spontaneous, rather than just reading them. So I'd actually go with:

• Group of goblins, room feels crowded
• Largest wears stained apron and chef's hat
• Huge fireplace dominates one wall; large table
• Stench of smoke and rotting meat

 

[WetWombat]

No way. Bree-yark means "we surrender" in goblin. That small beer hating bartender at the keep told me so. He wouldn't lie to me. Right?

Wrong inflection. bree-YARK! is 'I surrender,' while brEE-YArk is 'Come, my darling, you and I shall make beautiful musics together!' Fighting words are BREE-yark! (Roughly translated, 'Your mother and your father engaged in backwards procreational practices when you were conceived, my good goblin.')

THE Wobat! (Wet.)

Edit: Which adds nothing to the discussion, my bad. Descriptions of locations (not just rooms) have given me issues, since I started running my PbP games. I tend to get bogged down in the details, even to the point of omitting important points. Keeping in mind the order one would notice things when entering said area has helped a lot. (Threats, impressions, details, search.)

 

[Stoat]

Well considered and generally good advice snipped.

Good points, and I like your write up better than mine (except you left out Bree-Yark). I've noticed that my descriptive style has changed over the years.

When I played 2E, we sat around a ping-pong table with no battlemat and no visual aids at all. Since the only information the players got was my verbal description, I gave 'em a lot. For example, they needed to know the general size of the room to figure out how many melee fighters could enter and whether or not casting Fireball was a good idea. They needed to know the entrances and exits to plan their escape and anticipate the arrival of new monsters.

When we switched to 3E, we started using a battlemat, and I didn't have to give out room dimensions and exits. I'd draw them. I also took to describing the room's features as I drew it. "There's a table over here. This is a fireplace."

Later on, one of my buddies got a projector and I started doing all of my maps with Campaign Cartographer. I'd just project the room up on the wall and everybody could tell at a glance where the table and fire were. I would just give a quick overview. "You burst into a filthy kitchen packed with goblins. The stench of smoke and foul meat is overwhelming."

 

[CharlesRyan]

Later on, one of my buddies got a projector and I started doing all of my maps with Campaign Cartographer. I'd just project the room up on the wall and everybody could tell at a glance where the table and fire were. I would just give a quick overview. "You burst into a filthy kitchen packed with goblins. The stench of smoke and foul meat is overwhelming."

Definitely the ideal way to do it!

 

[Cadfan]

Another similarity between text adventures and RPG descriptions is what I guess I'll call the Spotlight O' Doom! effect. That's where the text adventure, or RPG, says something like,

"You enter a large, spacious courtyard. In the center of the courtyard is a stone statue of a horse. There are exits to the north and to the west."

And the stone statue is just there as flavor. But rest assured, because the description singled it out as something worth noticing, the players will

:LOOK AT STATUE
:SEARCH STATUE
:LOOK UNDER STATUE
:CLIMB STATUE
:HIT STATUE

 

[Stoat]

Many, many years ago, I described a bit of randomly generated treasure as a "glittering black opal." My players picked it up off a group of gnolls when they were 3rd level. Four years of real time later, at 20th level, they were still carrying the glittering gem, convinced it was a mystical macguffin.

 

[Pbartender]

I'd go with something like this:

"A group of goblins crowd what is clearly a kitchen; the largest wears a chef's hat and stained apron. A huge fire dominates one wall, with a large table against the other. The room is heavy with the stench of smoke and rotting meat."​

That said, recently I've moved away from a prose format for descriptive text--even when short, it's boring to listen to someone read. I've gone with using bullet points, because they encourage me to deliver the info in a manner that's more spontaneous, rather than just reading them. So I'd actually go with:

• Group of goblins, room feels crowded
• Largest wears stained apron and chef's hat
• Huge fireplace dominates one wall; large table
• Stench of smoke and rotting meat

I've been tending toward the same inclination in recent months... Even going so far as to having exceptionally brief notes written right on my copy of the map. I might write in the margin for this room, for example:

Kitchen - 5 gob cuts, 1 gob bblade, cooking​

The huge fire and table are already on map. The fact that they are goblins cooking dinner informs the rest.

 

[Jhaelen]

I've recently had a discussion with a player about read-aloud texts. So far, I've NEVER actually read any of it aloud. I always summarize it in my own words. No matter how long the text block, reading that stuff aloud will be boring. I know, because I've been surprised several times that there are actually DMs reading that stuff aloud...

If you tell it in your own words it's a lot easier to keep the players interested. I also like looking them in the eye, which is why I never use a DM screen.

And yes, I postpone a room's description if there's combat-ready opponents around. These days I just draw it on the battlemap or put some tiles down before describing the essentials (including things that affect game-mechanics).