[RPG] Gm question: New players dropping from sessions.

[Karma Kollapse]

Hi all,

Just looking for some feedback here from other GMs. I run two groups - a Pathfinder group (running the Zeitgeist campaign) and a Starfinder group, playing alternate weeks. The Pathfinder group has been running for about a year, the Starfinder group is just starting. The Pathfinder group has mostly run smoothly, though half of the original group were rather flakey (showing up maybe 2 times out of 3) and all eventually left, leaving only two original players. The group now has four solid players, and one player who has recently joined us (with a sixth away on caring leave, possibly permanently ). The Starfinder group has six players, and tonight is the first proper session (having done character creation two weeks ago).

This morning I got messages from two players, one in each group:

The starfinder player told me that he couldn't attend tonight as he had work and he didn't realise it was so soon. This is despite posting that this would be the start date for the adventure over a month ago. They also didn't make it to the character creation last time as well and had to create a character separately.

The new pathfinder player missed the last session due to a gig (which would have been their first proper session after a 'trial game'), and messaged me to say they couldn't make next week's session due to another gig. Said player has still yet to make a character.

I got both of these messages before even getting to work this morning, making me feel somewhat deflated and frustrated. I appreciate both situations - we all have jobs and one-in-a-lifetime type arrangements, and both players have said they are commited to playing in the group... but both players are now missing two meetups in a row after only just joining.

So my question is, how would you handle the situation? Do you feel confident things would change if the players stated a commitment? Do you think it is fair on other players, or other people who might want to join the group?

Would like to know how other GMs handle this kind of thing.

- Karma.

 

[Sunseeker]

I'm co-DM for my 3.5 group and we've had this problem with several people, we've invited them, they've showed to one session or said they would upon meeting them beforehand and then didn't show. Not even a word from them.

Our tactic has become to just assume they're not coming and plan on things like they're not going to show ever. If they don't show for 3 sessions in a row, especially without notice, they get the boot.

It's nice that your people sent notice, but since they didn't make the Session Zero, I wouldn't treat them like they're "committed to playing" at all. They could always have attempted to make alternate arrangements if for nothing else than to get Session Zero info and make a character, that'd at least show they're serious about it, but right now they've got no investment other than them saying they'll show and clearly they can't even do that. So I wouldn't sweat them and just treat it like they're not actually coming. If they don't show the 3rd time, tell them they're no longer invited.

 

[ccs]

No, nothing would change if they'd stated some additional commitment beyond accepting an invite to your game.
You can't do much about people's shifting work schedules, real life important commitments (things more vital than a game!)

Run your games with who you've got & each week have an idea or two about how/where you'd introduce new characters into what's going on.

Discuss with the group how many players must be present for a session to run.

Discuss what you asked us with the people your actually gaming with. Afterall, theirs are the opinion s that matter the most..... at least more than ours.

Be glad your missing players sent you messages early I'm the day. Early is far better than last moment! And infinitely better than not at all.

 

[Ralif Redhammer]

It’s easy to feel bummed when players start dropping out. But I’ve learned that the number of people that say they want to game regularly is much higher than the number of people that will actually commit to gaming regularly.

Just missing two sessions, even if they’re just starting, I wouldn’t worry too much. But if the trend continues, then yeah, I’d drop them from the group, though I’d probably start with an email asking if they’re still interested first.

I know people have lives, work, and stuff does come up. But it’s unfair to the DM/GM if gaming is a “well I have nothing else going on, so I might as well show up” thing for a player. The DM/GM doesn’t have that luxury. Unpredictable players make the job that much harder.

 

[redrick]

It's up to you and your group to decide how long you want to hold the door open for people, and how much you care about consistent attendance. We generally accept that we might have one player who can't make it every night, because life is hectic and we try to play weekly. So if a new player had trouble making it, we'd probably cut them some slack, because it happens to all of us, even the GM. (In which case we will sometimes play a board game, go to the bar, or run a backup one-shot.)

Generally in agreement with [MENTION=93444]shidaku[/MENTION] — I'd plan on them not coming, but leave them on the announcement e-mails for another session or two. If they continue not to make it, I might shoot them an e-mail saying, "Hey, we're gonna have to give up your seat to another player." Or I might just stop including them on the e-mails. You're under no obligation to continue to include them.

I would only say that, sometimes, new players take a few sessions to really get hooked and start counting down the days til the next session. We had a new player in our group who was slow to get engaged at first and missed a lot of sessions, but pretty soon, she was one of the most driving forces in making sure the next session happened.

 

[Istbor]

I will mirror these guys/gals basically.

I try to have a plan for people being absent already set in place, and agreed with by the whole group.

For my current 5e groups, if one player missing, the show goes on. More than that, we try to work on when we can next meet to make up for lost time. It has also been a long standing rule of mine, that if you miss 3-4 sessions especially without notice or an actual explanation (I am looking at you people who slept in or forgot what day it was), then we discuss whether you are going to continue playing at the table.

In the past I have had groups that you are waiting and waiting to start due to a new person not showing up, and while I like to start off a campaign with everyone there, sometimes that just isn't possible. That person has more important things going on (hopefully) and they can't make it. However, I don't believe that one person should keep the rest of the group from playing the game for weeks or even months either. Eventually, you have to recognize that others may not place as high of a priority on slashing through dungeons and continue on.

Trying to keep in mind where a new character can come in on the next session to accommodate someone who may be joining is also great advice.

 

[Ralif Redhammer]

When I’m I’ve got people in my group that aren’t good at the whole attendance thing, I will generally come up with two versions of major encounters – one if I’ve got a full table, and one if I’ve got less. It’s more work, I’ll admit, which is probably why I tend to be salty about no-shows. But I feel like not running the game isn’t fair to the people that do show.

I try to have a plan for people being absent already set in place, and agreed with by the whole group.

For my current 5e groups, if one player missing, the show goes on. More than that, we try to work on when we can next meet to make up for lost time.

 

[Karma Kollapse]

Discuss what you asked us with the people your actually gaming with. Afterall, theirs are the opinion s that matter the most..... at least more than ours.

Oh absolutely, one player is in both groups and pretty much as soon as I got into the office I sent him a message about both situations and asked him what he thought without giving too much commentary myself. He's comment was mostly that it didn't sound good. Mostly posting here is me venting a bit but also finding out other people deal with such things - I don't chat GM with many people IRL!

The first proper session of Starfinder was last night and it was a lot of fun, and I talked to two guys after the game about the guy who dropped from the session; it sounded like there might be more going on than meets the eye. I'll probably chat with the Pathfinder group in more detail before we meet next week. The Pathfinder group is about to get into a stretch where bringing a new player in might be a headache storywise, so I would have preferred any new player to have joined before that stretch starts. Eh!

Thank you everyone for your feedback, it's genuinely appreciated and a bit comforting! It is also a good reminder that things could be worse; I think I'd much less tolerant of people dropping from sessions but not telling me until after it is clear they are not coming (I think only one player has done that so far, and to be fair they had broke their back, I think that's a pretty good excuse).

 

[jasper]

Holy morning glory. You are griping because your players emailed to cancelled. Please ship one of those players to my house. Don't forget to put air holes in the shipping crate and no cod. One of the couples from my homebrew in the 00s would talk to me on Tuesday and asked if we were playing, email Wednesday, call on Thursday and be a no show with no contact on Friday.
Always be prepare to lose half your members due to live through a campaign. To prep for not having a the full group, follow the advice above and have a normal encounter and light weight encounter if no shows take the numbers down to danger levels. The regular no shows just treat as special guest star of the week when they do show, but never plan anything big around their characters.
You are playing weekly, so always be prepare to lose people due to work, boredom, Star Wars 33, dates, and real life.
Good luck.

 

[Sunseeker]

Holy morning glory. You are griping because your players emailed to cancelled. Please ship one of those players to my house. Don't forget to put air holes in the shipping crate and no cod. One of the couples from my homebrew in the 00s would talk to me on Tuesday and asked if we were playing, email Wednesday, call on Thursday and be a no show with no contact on Friday.
Always be prepare to lose half your members due to live through a campaign. To prep for not having a the full group, follow the advice above and have a normal encounter and light weight encounter if no shows take the numbers down to danger levels. The regular no shows just treat as special guest star of the week when they do show, but never plan anything big around their characters.
You are playing weekly, so always be prepare to lose people due to work, boredom, Star Wars 33, dates, and real life.
Good luck.

Frankly, I've rarely experienced this problem. Most people I have games with are able to make sessions on a regular basis and I don't think I've gamed with unusual people, on average we play weekly and we probably miss maybe one person a month. Some people just plain don't value the commitments they make. Some people do. I understand that life is life and things come up, but I don't think I'd even get up in the morning to prep a game if I expected half of any given group to just not show up today.

Yeah people change over the course of long-term games, that's fine and understandable. But that doesn't appear to be the case here.

If any of my players regularly no-showed after expressing interest earlier in the week, especially without warning, I'd be more than happy to boot them. I'd rather prep a smaller game and know what I have to deal with than prep a larger game, or a more varied game because I have no idea who's gonna show.