Scrooge + Grinch = me

[Hijinks]

My situation is similar but yet .. different.

I grew up moving from country to country as my dad was in the CIA. His relatives all grew up here in Iowa together, hanging out and doing stuff all year long together.

I moved here in 94, hoping to finally settle down, set in some roots, and spend time with my family and get to know them.

11 years later, I still only see them twice a year - Thanksgiving and Christmas.

We're all in the same town, or close. They don't invite me to birthday parties, dinners, or any other get-togethers. I know they have them because, when I do get invited to Thanksgiving, I hear about how FUN Soandso's party was a month ago, and how they HAVE to do it again soon, and so on.

Every year around Thanksgiving time, I start to get anxious because I know they will make me feel like crap just because they exclude me all the rest of the year. And every year, I suck it up and go wherever I'm invited, because my grandmother would get really upset if I didn't. They don't give a crap whether I go or not, but she does.

I have an uncle in the hospital this year, he's been recently diagnosed with cancer. I'm sorry he's sick and I sent flowers, but I haven't visited because, frankly, he's a stranger to me.

I've tried and tried to make myself available to hang out with them (I'm not about to show up on their doorstop pleading "Include me!", but I have sent emails and birthday cards and tried to call sometimes, the calls not being returned of course), and they still choose to not include me.

So I decided this year, screw em. I have a wonderful bf who is all I need. Unfortunately, I'm sure I will argue with my dad tomorrow about why I haven't been to visit my uncle. Oh well.

 

[jgbrowning]

For god's sake, someone tell me we're right.

You're right.

joe b.

 

[Darrin Drader]

It seems to very much depend on the family. In some it is a lie. In others a story that the child chooses to believe and grows out of naturally. In still others, a story openly considered pretend.

Who's to say it isn't true? Can you prove that Santa doesn't exist?

 

[spatha]

Who's to say it isn't true? Can you prove that Santa doesn't exist?

Stop trying to perpetuate the lie.
It is wrong.
Didn't your parents ever teach you wright from wrong and not to lie.

Man I wish people would start to be more truthfull to each other and their children.

 

[francisca]

Regardless of your beliefs, this is a time to eat too much then lay on the couch like a beached whale. It's about blaming your farts on the dog. It's the one day of the year where every member of the family is reminded why they don't talk to each other, except at Christmas.

Fixed.

 

[francisca]

Man I wish people would start to be more truthfull to each other and their children.

Your X-Mas wish is granted!

I just told my kids that some people in the world are complete killjoys, and that Santa will keep coming to visit them as long as they are good children and beleive in him.

 

[KenM]

Enjoying the presence of people you love (and who love you) ...

Well in my case, I don't feel any love or bond to the people I sepnd xmas eve with. We have been doing it all my life. I have to buy xmas gifts for these people even though this is the only day of the year that I see them. So why do it if I'm not comfortable doing it and I feel nothing towards the people I'm with? Last year I spent Xmas with a good friend and it was great.
Different strokes for different folks. I am going to spend xmas day alone most likely, and I'm going to like it, no stupid social obligations do deal with.

 

[Samuel Leming]

Well in my case, I don't feel any love or bond to the people I sepnd xmas eve with. We have been doing it all my life. I have to buy xmas gifts for these people even though this is the only day of the year that I see them. So why do it if I'm not comfortable doing it and I feel nothing towards the people I'm with? Last year I spent Xmas with a good friend and it was great.
Different strokes for different folks. I am going to spend xmas day alone most likely, and I'm going to like it, no stupid social obligations do deal with.

Ken, here's another way to look at this.

Right now you're still young, but one day you'll be an old man and have worked through whatever it is you're trying to work through. It's a reality that by that time in your life many of your family(and if you've spent every Christmas of your life with them they're your family) will be gone. There's a good chance you'll regret passing by these opportunities to spend time with them.

Why make those future Christmases even worse with added regrets?

Sam

 

[KenM]

Ken, here's another way to look at this.

Right now you're still young, but one day you'll be an old man and have worked through whatever it is you're trying to work through. It's a reality that by that time in your life many of your family(and if you've spent every Christmas of your life with them they're your family) will be gone. There's a good chance you'll regret passing by these opportunities to spend time with them.

Why make those future Christmases even worse with added regrets?

Sam

I am going up there xmas eve to spend time with them, but I know i'm going to hate it. Its xmas day that I am spending alone. I have spent every xmas eve with them since I can remember, IMO they have slighted me in the past and offered no apoligies, even thou they know I felt slighted. If you feel nothing whatsoever towards someone, why spend time with them?

 

[Darrin Drader]

Ken, here's another way to look at this.

Right now you're still young, but one day you'll be an old man and have worked through whatever it is you're trying to work through. It's a reality that by that time in your life many of your family(and if you've spent every Christmas of your life with them they're your family) will be gone. There's a good chance you'll regret passing by these opportunities to spend time with them.

Why make those future Christmases even worse with added regrets?

Sam

Quoted for truth. And for what it's worth, I'd sacrifice my left leg to be able to go back in time to spend another christmas with my family the way it was when I was around 18 to 20.