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Sexism in D&D and on ENWorld (now with SOLUTIONS!)

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shilsen

Adventurer
Stories based on sexism can be interesting, but so can stories not based on sexism.
If we can come up with stories and tropes and roles and campaign worlds that are just as good but don't express sexism as the norm, I think that would be much better.

That's basically my take on it. If someone can't make creative stories without being sexist, in my book they aren't particularly creative.

Hey shilsen -- just as a caveat, I don't necessarily agree with your premises, but mostly because I don't really run into sexism on a regular basis. This is probably due largely to where I currently live.

Interesting. Where do you live?

But, there is one area where I am willing to admit that sexism runs rampant, which is language. I'm not really talking about pronoun use here -- I'm talking about the following sentence:

"The kobolds went berserk and killed his neighbor's wife!"

It takes awhile to figure out why this is sexist, unfortunately, because it feels like a completely natural sentence construction. I'd ask you to add "watch your language" to your list of solutions, but to be honest, even recognizing that you're saying something with a hidden sexist viewpoint is very difficult. But I thought I'd throw that in.

Nice example. And yes, watching and thinking about one's use of language is an important element, so thanks for the reminder. One of the most important elements, IMNSHO, precisely because it is so easy (as you note) to miss when one is being sexist via language.

I don't agree, because in my opinion, language is the filter with which you construct and interpret culture.

Unsurprisingly, I agree (especially since I teach English and deal a lot with issues of language). I think a lot of people think of language as something which simply expresses their thoughts, and don't realize how the use of language also mediates, constructs and interprets those thoughts.

But regardless of whether I agree or not, you're not going to solve economic and societal sexism in a Dungeons and Dragons game. I was just pointing out something that irritates me that pertains to the fundamentally narrative nature of D&D as an RPG. If you're concerned about sexism in what is a subset of a subset of society, it's probably worth paying attention to the essential mechanism of communication.

As noted above, I agree.

I don't think language is the source of the problem, but I do think that language expresses society's way of thinking.

And, as I was saying above, subtly (and sometimes not so subtly) affects society's way of thinking, hence its importance.

Academia spends time and effort on concerns of language, because they think they matter... and they might as well since they generally don't directly set public policy like politicians and government bureaucrats, they don't set company-wide compensation policies like company managers and HR departments. Academics do, however, often have a great influence on educational policy and teaching methods. And there, they can influence how we think about the world around us, arguably the most difficult aspect of tackling gender bias and discrimination. There's nothing saying we can't make headway on all of these issues.

Agreed, and not just because I'm an academic, since I tend to be fairly leery of many things which are taken for granted in academia.

When it comes to politically correct speech, I notice that critics don't seem to notice that their own objections often come down to another form of politically correct speech. It's just that the political program they emphasize is not what you would consider traditionally "political" but one about upholding a conservative view of language standards, one that takes the practice of the language at some fixed point in the past before the academic feminists started working at it and makes that fixed point prescriptive.

That's a very good point. People who decry political correctness as ideological rarely take into account exactly how ideological (and exclusionary) their own positions are.

It may be that the sexism inherent in language, turns of phrase, and so on is passive compared to the active sexism that causes women to make less money for the same work as men. But does that mean it should be ignored?

I'm not sure what you meant by that.
To clarify what I meant: behavior is the result of education, whether it's formal or just what you hear from the ones around you. Sexist behavior is what we are objecting to in this thread. If we change the language or enforce equal wages, we will only be dealing with the effects of this behavior.

As billd91 notes above, just because something is a symptom of a behavior doesn't mean one shouldn't address it too. Plus sexism (like most -isms) doesn't just flow in one direction, but is a cyclical and self-perpetuating system. The existence of sexist language and unequal wages isn't only a symptom, but helps reinforce a sexist status quo and enables people to think that its acceptable.

This is interesting, but not entirely true.

Which is worse, calling a man a "bastard" or calling a man a "bitch"? (And let's not even get into the C-word.)

The word matters. And the words that are the biggest insults for men are the words that imply they are womanish.

True. I think some of the comments earlier on this thread (and page) about how insults don't have a sexist component are shortsighted at best, and disingenuous in certain ways.

Language matters, in many different ways, and claiming it doesn't matter is a very common tactic, both among those who honestly believe it and among those who know better (but want to dismiss it). And it's shocking, I know, but these people -- both groups -- are pretty much always men.

Or at least predominantly so, I'd say. I think this is part of the whole issue of people who are empowered or privileged by the status quo attempting (sometimes quite honestly, which doesn't make it more excusable, of course) to argue that the status quo is egalitarian. Yeah, right!

Am I to understand that the language we hear around us is part of our education? I agree. It would seem then that language is not only a symptom but also part of the cause; which leads me to believe that watching one’s language is not such a waste of time as others here make it out to be.
If you meant something else then please clarify.

Funnily enough, you stated earlier that changing language is only changing the effects of sexist behavior. As indicated above, I agree with what you say here much more. Language, like many other aspects of sexism, is both symptom and cause. And needs to be addressed.
 

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shilsen

Adventurer
On the tangent about language and insults, here's a small exercise I've used in my classes when talking about how language not only expresses but affects the way people think.

I get my students to come up with nouns for a woman who has sex with a lot of people. They usually come up with a large list. And then I ask them to come up with nouns for a man who has sex with a lot of people. Suddenly the list is far smaller. And, as some of them note even before I point it out, the terms for a promiscuous man are often favorable, whereas the ones for a promiscuous woman are usually highly critical. The very nature and vocabulary of the English language makes it more difficult to disapprove of masculine promiscuity than female promiscuity.

My primary aim when using the exercise is to show how language affects perception and thought, but it's also an interesting way to look at how language treats the sexes.
 

Dannyalcatraz

Schmoderator
Staff member
Supporter
"The kobolds went berserk and killed his neighbor's wife!"

Nice example.

Respectfully disagreeing- especially given my counterexamples with "son," "daughter," and the like.

While the example does indicate a possible difference in the speaker's relationship with the neighbor and the wife, it is not inherent in the sentence's construction that the difference is sexist in nature.

The person being addressed might not be aware the neighbor was married, for instance, and the speaker- aware of this knowledge gap- efficiently communicates the entirety of the circumstances to the listener while staving off misunderstanding.
 


Dannyalcatraz

Schmoderator
Staff member
Supporter
On the tangent about language and insults, here's a small exercise I've used in my classes when talking about how language not only expresses but affects the way people think.

I get my students to come up with nouns for a woman who has sex with a lot of people. They usually come up with a large list. And then I ask them to come up with nouns for a man who has sex with a lot of people. Suddenly the list is far smaller. And, as some of them note even before I point it out, the terms for a promiscuous man are often favorable, whereas the ones for a promiscuous woman are usually highly critical. The very nature and vocabulary of the English language makes it more difficult to disapprove of masculine promiscuity than female promiscuity.

Not denying your accuracy of the proportions of that list- because its undeniable- I do nonetheless have a question about it.

Much like I did when I discussed the search on "neighbor's wife," I wonder about the actual breakdown of the synonyms your students brought up.

IOW, I'm asking if you noted things like how many of those terms were synonyms for prostitute? I could probably come up with a few dozen for female prostitute, and would probably be several dozen short from being anywhere near comprehensive. In contrast, I can come up with perhaps only a dozen synonyms for male prostitutes.

Most of which would be for gay male prostitutes...and of that subset, several have been used as derogatory terms for men.

But part of that linguistic disparity would be because the ratio of male prostitutes to female ones is vanishingly small. There is just simply less linguistic pressure to come up with nicknames & synonyms for something so rare.

That said, even though that would reduce the disparity, it would by no means come close to eliminating it.

In addition, even if we use the same words to describe promiscuous men and women, the implications still differ- a man called a "slut" or "tailchaser" is likely to have that label hung on him with a wink and a nudge.

(which is partly derived from biology...)
 
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Krensky

First Post
That's basically my take on it. If someone can't make creative stories without being sexist, in my book they aren't particularly creative.

An English teacher who hates the Bard. Will wonders never cease?

Nice example. And yes, watching and thinking about one's use of language is an important element, so thanks for the reminder. One of the most important elements, IMNSHO, precisely because it is so easy (as you note) to miss when one is being sexist via language.

How sexist it is or isn't is impossible to determine without more information. The most likely reason for a man to structure the phrase in that way has nothing to do with sexism and everything to do with the relative strength and closeness of relationship. The norm in human societies (heck, hominid societies) would be for him to associate with the other males in his community far more often and intimately then the females. Since the emotional links with his his neighbor Bob are stronger and more intimate then his neighbor Jill the phrase is structured as my neighbor's wife.

Unsurprisingly, I agree (especially since I teach English and deal a lot with issues of language). I think a lot of people think of language as something which simply expresses their thoughts, and don't realize how the use of language also mediates, constructs and interprets those thoughts.

All of which is shaped by biology and neurology in particular.

True. I think some of the comments earlier on this thread (and page) about how insults don't have a sexist component are shortsighted at best, and disingenuous in certain ways. [...] I think this is part of the whole issue of people who are empowered or privileged by the status quo attempting (sometimes quite honestly, which doesn't make it more excusable, of course) to argue that the status quo is egalitarian. Yeah, right!

And now, as the joke goes, we see the violence inherent in the system. Anyone who disagrees with the 'acceptable' position must be belittled, insulted, marginalized, and demonized. You don't know who I am, what my politics, beliefs, and experiences are. The status quo in the first world is very egalitarian in the broad sweep but, like everything, it's the details that matter the most. Minorities and women were long excluded in practice from exercising the rights they had on paper. In some cases they still are. It is just as racist or sexist to assume a man of European descent is a liar, cad, or villain for disagreeing with theory underpinning political correctness, person first construction, or any of the other myriad ideas thought up to correct human behavior by addressing perceived flaws in language. Especially since they often ignore the fact that there are sound biological reasons underpinning much of the flawed behavior. As a species, we've developed to the point most if them are more harmful the good. Much like our dietary and eating habits, which make perfect sense for a hunter/gatherer/scavenging great ape, are not particularly well suited to a ludicrously wealthy (in a caloric sense), industrialized society. Similarly, most of the biologic underpinnings of sexism and racism are completely irrelevant in the 'modern' world. Ignoring them in favor of twiddling with language, however is a waste of time. Teaching people to recognise and control these instincts and biologic influences is a far better way to spend one's time. Another is addressing issues of hate mongering and racism as they appear in children. The issues can be addressed, but it will take a generation or more to have meaningful effects, and possibly several more before it's essentially gone. In the mean time replacing ever chairman and chairwoman with chairpeople is shuffling the deckchairs.
 

kolikeos

First Post
Funnily enough, you stated earlier that changing language is only changing the effects of sexist behavior. As indicated above, I agree with what you say here much more. Language, like many other aspects of sexism, is both symptom and cause. And needs to be addressed.
As noted, I changed my mind. I won't stay conservative if there's a logical reason not to.
After all, if we didn't allow ourselves the option to change our minds we would have just stuck to the sexist status quo and wouldn't be discussing this here.
I agree with what you said about the "cyclical system". Our behavior forms a large part of the next generation's education; which means that unless we change our behavior, the future generation will learn to be as sexist as we are now.

On the subject of sexist insults:
I have heard the word "woman" being used as a demeaning insult for men, usually replacing "coward", "weakling" or "stupid". "Gay" may be used to the same effect.
On the other hand, "man" will be used as a compliment for men and women, indicating bravery, strength, intellect, cunning or toughness.
Both are used freely by men and woman where I live.
 

S'mon

Legend
I'm not sure what you meant by that.
To clarify what I meant: behavior is the result of education, whether it's formal or just what you hear from the ones around you. Sexist behavior is what we are objecting to in this thread. If we change the language or enforce equal wages, we will only be dealing with the effects of this behavior.

I mean behaviour is a mix of nature and nurture - genes and environment. You would need to change both, eg eliminate body dimorphism so males were no longer bigger and stronger than females. Eliminate or compensate for variable testosterone levels, pregnancy, and other inherent factors causing variable behaviour. It would probably be easiest to eliminate males entirely although you would probably want to retain sexual reproduction.
 

S'mon

Legend
On the tangent
I get my students to come up with nouns for a woman who has sex with a lot of people. They usually come up with a large list. And then I ask them to come up with nouns for a man who has sex with a lot of people. Suddenly the list is far smaller. And, as some of them note even before I point it out, the terms for a promiscuous man are often favorable, whereas the ones for a promiscuous woman are usually highly critical.

It's a question of investment. Having sex with lots of women has favourable effects for the genetic legacy of a man's relatives (lots of children they don't have to care for). Having sex with lots of men does not have such favourable effects for the genetic legacy of a woman's relatives, it may even be disfavourable in harsher conditions (lots of children of unknown parentage they have to care for).
 

kolikeos

First Post
I mean behaviour is a mix of nature and nurture - genes and environment. You would need to change both, eg eliminate body dimorphism so males were no longer bigger and stronger than females. Eliminate or compensate for variable testosterone levels, pregnancy, and other inherent factors causing variable behaviour. It would probably be easiest to eliminate males entirely although you would probably want to retain sexual reproduction.

Animals behave the way they do because of their biology. Their thinking capabilities are limited so they can't decide what is preferable for them and learn to change their behavior accordingly.
Since we as humans do have the mental capacity necessary to decide and change (as demonstrated by the fact that some of us here have decided that we do not want to discriminate or be discriminated and have changed our behavior accordingly), I think we should use that to our advantage.

What you have suggested may not be as objectionable as you might think. If genetic engineering could have easily got rid of discriminating behavior then it would have been an acceptable solution, but I'm not sure that is the case.
The elimination of males on the other hand, is. By opposing discrimination I aspire to reach equality, and not another form of discrimination.
 

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