Silliest Game Quote

[KaosDevice]

Mine was during a Paranoia game done by a co-DM (We had like 10 people playing)

"Your's is not to ask your's is but to kiss my a&&"

 

[Barendd Nobeard]

A younger player said the following about his paladin character: "I'm going to lay myself with my own hands."

We still tease him about that one.

 

[jonesy]

The party rogue stumbles into a room full of the BBEGs henchmen and decides to bluff her way out of the situation: "Did any of you see a monkey go through here just now? I seem to have lost mine."

 

[Rystil Arden]

Party Archmage (Int 30 with her Circlet):

"I think I'm going to spy on the Vandolian Empire while the others work on forging the sword, but I'm not telling anyone where I'm going, in case they're scrying on us. But they won't just let a random Archmage walk past their heavily fortified, magic-detecting trenches. I'm going to Balefully Polymorph myself into a bird and check it out. I voluntarily fail my Fortitude save."

Of course, her caster level was so high that very few NPCs could actually succeed in Dispelling it, even if she could tell them...and she couldn't cast spells...

 

[Daesumnor]

(In Character) "Go! Stop! Healing time!" *points to cleric weilding warhammer*

 

[demiurge1138]

"Is massive property damage in our jurisdiction?"

The Freelance Police are currently in the Styes, and were debating whether or not to destroy a water tower supplying Mr. Dory, an undead councilman, with his spa water.

What makes it especially funny was that they accidentally set the warehouse on fire not thirty minutes later.

Demiurge out.

 

[DungeonmasterCal]

So, so many...

In 2e game where the party enters a banquet hall only to face the BBEG (ala the dinner scene in Empire Strikes Back) the guy playing the jester says, "You guys get him! I'll drop my pants and sit in the pudding!"

Same guy, playing in a different game. They're tracking some guy across the countryside, asks do they find any sign that he's passed through this area. This was like the 432nd time the party had asked for tracks, etc and I was tired of it. So I said, well, you see where he stopped to take a poop.

The jester pokes his finger in it, pops it in his mouth, and says to the (by now in stitches players), "We should go back. This guy is at least a 10th level ranger."

 

[DevoutlyApathetic]

Last week we were about to purchase a reading from an oracle, an evil oracle we planned on jumping. We turn to the 'Face' guy waiting for the subtle signal....

Faceman: "Is this the guy we jump?"

We stood there with our jaws on the floor as the bad guys attacked. He's smooth he is.

 

[Arc]

"Is massive property damage in our jurisdiction?"

The Freelance Police are currently in the Styes, and were debating whether or not to destroy a water tower supplying Mr. Dory, an undead councilman, with his spa water.

What makes it especially funny was that they accidentally set the warehouse on fire not thirty minutes later.

Demiurge out.

Same session, about 20 minutes later, after I spend 10 minutes explaining the statics system and rotational dynamics of the setup, including the possible stress fractures, pivot points, critical angles, and eventual displacements and pressure changes.

Me: "Awwww, movie physics won't work?"
DM: "Nope"

 

[Algolei]

My nephew: "I run up and grab the high priest by the brassiere." (He meant the high priest standing beside the brazier. )