So INTERPARTY conflict time, how do you handle it as a DM?

[Celebrim]

...let us face it, the players each only have one character to play, and they can focus, and do much better roleplay than a GM that's got a cast of thousands to deal with, so the PCs among them produce much better drama...

I wish more players understood this sort of thing. On forums there are always tons of GMs asking, "How can I be a better GM?" It's so rare for people to ask, "How can I be a better player?" RPG players act like playing an RPG is just something you just do, and not something you should be trying to get better at. To the extent that they think about skill, it's almost always something like, "How can I abuse the system more?", and not, "How can I be more entertaining at the table?" And, there are tons of player-centric objections that form the basis of classic game arguments like, "Why should it be any different playing a high charisma/intelligence character when IRL you have low charisma/intelligence and playing a high strength/dexterity character when IRL you have low strength/dexterity", that I believe no one would even bother to ask if they were experienced DMs and not merely players. If you are a DM most of the time, the reasons why they are different is obvious.

But in particular, in any scene, you generally have 3-8 PCs (depending on the group), and you have the DM trying to run all the NPCs. In my experience, there are certain scenes that a DM can't run effectively because he's limited by the fact he's a single actor. The most obvious one being you can't really effectively run a scene with a large number of NPCs. And you probably never should try to run a scene that involves heavy interaction between NPCs. As much as possible, I find it works better to have one NPC on stage at a time (with possibly some extras standing around in the background). But that means that a rather large percentage of the sort of scenes that can be staged require players to take the part of directors and play an active role crafting the scene by interacting with each other. Some of the most enjoyable times for a DM is when he doesn't even really need to add to the story, because the PC's are entertaining both him and each other through their play. And it's sadly so rare, and arguably for me its mostly been inexperienced novice players that demonstrate that skill. If someone tells me that they've been playing D&D for 20 years, I could lay money on them being unable to actually RP intraparty communication effectively or dramatically. Or that most of the time when they do address another player in character, it's going to be implicitly or explicitly a threat.

 

[Bleys Icefalcon]

I appreciate how in real life even good friends, not to mention married couples, will have spats and disagreements - that can be so severe that friendships are ended and marriages called off. So it comes as no surprise that, by extention, our game can be filled with the same abrasions. I have evolved as a DM over the years when it comes to these kinds of confrontations. Early on I would let these run their course, feeling that this was a part of the game. At times these would get violent (in game), even fatal. As I have matured, I would like to say my players have as well - but most of my gaming life I was in the Navy, so every couple years I would transfer to a new duty station and I would either find myself a part of another established group's dynamic, or I would end up building my own group from the ground up. And many of my other players were also in the military, and THEY would transfer every couple years, so there really was no time, for more than 20 years, that I really had that same, solid group for more than say 6 months to a year.

Since retiring, I have finally found that stable group of players. For the most part no one is moving, and everyone is about as dedicated as you could ask from your typical instant gratification/live and die by their facebook/smart phone connected by an invisible adamantium umbilical to their soul Generation Z type. With them I have been able to set a few hard and firm house rules and guidelines when it comes to in-party fighting/killing. Recently I had to lose a player over it, as he, after several warnings and talkings too, insisted on pissing in the pool.

Rule One: If you take a swing on a party member, you will automatically hit. The target won't take the damage, you will. If you crit, refer to initial part of rule one.

Rule Two: If you taunt, instigate and do everythig you can to MAKE someone want to take a swing at you, you're character will face a period of "eradication" (Per the 20th level Epic Spell annotated in a fun little gaming accessory called the Tome of Mighty Magic.) The duration is a number of turns equal to whatever the DM decides (usually 1D3 turns, or ten real world minutes), during which your character ceases to exist. Ceases to have ever existed. Deeds and actions performed by this character will seamlessly and undetectably attributed to another, etc. This period of non-existence will diminish, or extend based solely on the contrition and willingness to get along with everyone of the offending person. In the case of the person ejected, duration is forever.

 

[Ralif Redhammer]

Sadly, this. When I make a mistake as a DM, I try to use it as an opportunity to improve. If I get constructive criticism from a player, I honestly try to listen. Most of my players just carry on as they do. And I can only imagine what it would be like if I gave voice to some of my own suggestions for them...

But back to the subject at hand, another source of interparty conflict, and probably the worst I've seen, is from the instigator type of player. You know, the kind that just likes to do crazy stuff to see what happens. I think part of it stems from wanting to steal the spotlight, by being the source of what's going on in the game.

I wish more players understood this sort of thing. On forums there are always tons of GMs asking, "How can I be a better GM?" It's so rare for people to ask, "How can I be a better player?" RPG players act like playing an RPG is just something you just do, and not something you should be trying to get better at. To the extent that they think about skill, it's almost always something like, "How can I abuse the system more?", and not, "How can I be more entertaining at the table?"