Stupidest things PCs/DMs have done

[Dannyalcatraz]

Was that a high level mage?

In a campaign played in Dallas?

 

[Lalalei2001]

Yeah. Why?

 

[Rev. Jesse]

- Discovering a "To Do" list which consisted of: "<name>", "Diary", "Travel Logs", and "Potatoes"; concluding that this must mean that <name> is going to be assassinated (what?); and spending two days keeping a secret watch over him to prevent the assassination.

Very, very amusing. I sat enthralled and giggle for at least five mintues rereading it.
The fact that potatoes are mentioned makes it even funnier, though I have no idea why. Who would think "Potatoes" = "Assassination?"

Nothing I have seen really comes close to that, but there were a few stupid PC moves in my gaming experience.

One ranger started to accidently hit the dwarf fighter when shooting arrows in close combat. An honest mistake, you might think, but it roiled the fighter so much that it continued. Towards the end of the campaign, the ranger was actually adjusting his stance so that he would have to shoot through the fighter on purpose. We now have a 'myth' in the group that damaging PCs gets you XP.

The single worst act of player stupidity I saw isn't very funny, but I will share it anyway:

We were playing a Vampire game, and our party of vampires were assigned to transport, via van, a pack of werewolf cubs. While enroute, a motorcyclist tried to flag us down. He flashed us a vampire gang sign and as we drove along side him, he was described as wearing the colors of another vampire group that was said to be recently destroyed and was listening to 'Steppenwolf' on the radio. He was described as having long hair and a stubble beard (which is not very common for a vampire).

Once we pulled off the road he asked us to follow us into the woods, at which point the GM asks 'Does anyone have the Merit Common Sense?" (this knack would allow the GM to give a little hint to a PC who can't see something in front of his eyes) Of course, we were all mature, seasoned Vampire players, none of us need some begineer Merit like Common Sense!

We decided to follow the guy into the woods. End result: werewolves kill have the vampires and make off with the cubs.

In case you can't tell, I am also a very bad poker player.

 

[Dannyalcatraz]

Lalalei...a high level mage in our D/FW game group did the exact same thing...but he survived.

Maybe there's somthing in the water around here...like lightning rods!

 

[Lalalei2001]

Ooh! One person said "Oh, there must be a rule that says a disintigration spell doesn't affect the caster. Here, I'll show you!"

There wasn't. RIP, Melf the Male Elf.

 

[Lalalei2001]

This one's priceless.

Groo was a Barbarian of much strength, but with an intelligence of 3. During a dungeon crawl, we came upon a locked door that our thief couldn't open.
Groo took it upon himself to open it.

"GROO OPEN DOOR!"

As soon as he smashed it open, the dragon on the other side stepped on him and killed him.

 

[Zakath429]

I had a player who played a 1e barbarian with a 3 (yes I said a 3) intelligence score and a 6 wisdom score. The player stated that he could understand common, but could not speak a single word. The only word he could say was UGH, and yes that was his name. This barbarian once attempted to mate with a wooden ststue of a buxom female. He carried it around town with him and pointed to it all the time syaing (all togeather now) UGH.

Then there was Bob the cowardly ranger and his fiathful mount Pincushion (yes, he actuall named his mount that) whose hobby was leaping out of windows.


To All:
Good Luck and Good Hunting

 

[Lalalei2001]

Oh, that's nothing! We were doing a Paranoia game, and a player got sick. So a doctor gave him some pills. The Computer asked the player what color they were.

"Blue. OHMIGOSH! I'm a Traitor!"

Then he shot himself in the head.

 

[Parlan]

His last thought is, "Why is everything lined in plastic?"
A suitable end, and one that might deserve a place in the CLUE file. I still claim that Bacon wins the thread with PCs who couldn't take hints if applied with tac-nukes.

Excellent Shadowrun story! I stil sometimes go back and read those CLUE files for the scheudenfruede.

and yes, Bacon, you deserve a medal. (or a couple of good stiff drinks)

 

[Lalalei2001]

RIP Gerbo Tallywhacker

The session started with me (a gnome psion) and my friend Brandon (a gnome rogue). We began inside the Gnomish castle Snumpkin, where we awaited the orders of the king. The first thing that we always do in a session is to introduce and describe our characters. Brandon, being lazy, "didnt know how to make a character" so I did for him.

When the DM asked for his name and description he looked at his sheet and discovered that he had none (I had left this part up to him but he had forgotten). So our loving DM named him Gerbo Tallywhacker and made him gigantic, ugly and fat. Brandon, not wanting play such a miserable Gnome, decided to kill himself by jumping out the window.

The DM made him roll a will save to see if he had the guts. He rolled a 1. So then he was forced to roll a tumble check to try and save himself. He rolled a 20 and landed unscratched on his feet.

Angrily, Gerbo attacked the first person he saw, a castle guard. He missed with his unarmed strike (he had no equipment either), but the guard proceded to drop his sword. Gerbo of course picked up the sword and killed the guard in one hit.

Now frustrated, he ran frantically around the castle searching for someone to kill him. After he killed half a dozen guards, I put him out of his misery with an arrow through the skull. It being 3am we all then decided to go to sleep.