Shemeska said:
About two years ago, one of my players and I decided to have a contest for who could eat the hottest stuff. Another player went out and ordered some manner of Dave's Insanity Sauce (Dave's special reserve or something like that, came in a numbered bottle).
Well between the two of us, we used about 1/3 of the bottle on our burrito for dinner that night, and I lost my sense of taste by the second bite, and was violently cursing by the end of the first burrito. Only after we eat that 1/3 of the bottle between the two of us, does the friend who bought the bottle notice and read to us the following warning on the label: "Warning: Not for direct human consumption. Dilute dropwise."
Thirty minutes later the two of us were quite literally -HIGH- on the endorphine rush. Giggling, whimsical, with a vague sense of euphoria that came close to a shot of demerol you'd get after surgery. Another half hour after that and we were on the floor in miserable pain as our stomachs tried to implode.
I didn't get out of bed the next day, and it took about 4 days to finally get my sense of taste back.
We refer to this stuff as Liquid Stupid.
This is absolutely hilarious, as I have a nearly identical story involving DIS. Some friends and I were at a Tex-Mex restaurant after a long snowy afternoon of beer-drinking; after we downed a few margaritas, our food arrived. We're all fans of hot & spicy food, so we asked the waiter to bring by whatever pepper sauces they had.
Now, there are a lot of sauces out there on the market, many with "WILD & CRAZY/EXTREME" aspirations. Some of them are, in fact, what they are advertised to be. Many aren't. So, in my jaded, "burnt-my-tongue-there, done-so-with-that" attitude, I reach for one of the bottles & precede to shower my quesadilla liberally with this "Dave's Insanity Sauce."
Mind you, at the time, I too neglected to read the label (thinking in my oh-so-experienced way that it'd be full of useless hyperbole). I'd also not yet known that Dave's Insanity Sauce includes
mace as an ingredient. I'm not the fastest learner while tipsy, but I did learn!
The first sensation was that my eyes were absolutely burning (as though having them exposed to air was drying them into painful husks); I countered by closing my eyes and
continuing to eat my meal (see "Liquid Stupid," above). I figured that I could simply finish the meal with my eyes shut & ride out the Wave of Burning.
After a few minutes, my friends began to notice my tightly-shut eyelids & asked what was going on. My only response was to reach down to the table, grab the bottle of sauce, and gently push it in their direction (eyes still shut & tearing wildly the whole time). What do two of them do? Proceed to dump it on their meals as well. (We had one sane member in our party who elected not to jump off the same cliff.)
Within a few minutes, we were all gasping and laughing and burning. One of my friends got up to "use the facilities" and vainly attempt to "wash out" the pain with water. After a few minutes of silence, we heard a loud yelp from the men's room. Note to all: Do not immediately touch sensitive areas of your body without having washed your hands of burning pepper sauce! This should have been plainly obvious to any of us, but, well, you know.
Eventually, our waiter came over to ask what the commotion was all about. Between spasms of laughter and intensely burning sensations, I managed to put a request in for some bread and milk. He laughed & provided these promptly (along with another round of drinks).
After we'd diluted the Insanity Sauce to the point at which we could see again, the endorphins kicked in. Suddenly, everything got 'floaty'. One of us very quietly said, "...let's...go...sit..on...those...couches...over there." Without a word, we floated over, paid our check, and then greeted everyone coming into the restaurant a la
Fantasy Island.
The restaurant (for some reason) no longer stocks Dave's Insanity Sauce. Which is a shame, because every year around the same time we all get the indescribably stupid itch to repeat the experience.
