D&D 5E Tarrasque vs. Clay Golem (A thought experiment)

Cernor

Explorer
So I was flipping through my monster manual earlier and noticed something weird. Despite being a big bad CR 30 monstrosity, the dreaded Tarrasque would be killed by a Clay Golem of measly CR 9. It may take a while, but eventually the golem would win. It seems strange, but let's take a look, shall we?

The most important thing to consider are the damage resistances and immunities of each creature. Both creatures are immune to poison, and bludgeoning, piercing, and slashing from nonmagical weapons (although the golem takes normal damage from adamantine weapons). The Tarrasque is immune to fire, while the golem is immune to acid and psychic damage. However, the most important points are the immunity to nonmagical weapons and the golem's immunity to acid.

The definition of a weapon is the crux of the argument, as the interpretation of "weapon" could mean either solely artificial weapons, such as longswords or maces, or any weapon, both natural and artificial. The second interpretation would include the golem's Slam, as well as the Tarrasque's Bite, Claw, Horns, and Tail attacks. However, the beginning of the book notes (page 10-11) that "the 'weapon' might be... a natural weapon, such as a claw or tail spike" and ergo the second interpretation is the correct one.

"But where is this leading?" You may be wondering. Looking at the Clay Golem is a wonderful line which is the last nail in the Tarrasque's coffin. Just above its "Actions" section is says that the golem has the"Magic Weapons" feature. This, as could be intuited from its name, means that its weapon attacks are magical (and therefore can hit the Tarrasque). On the other hand, the Tarrasque, the most powerful and dreaded monster in the Manual, lacks this feature. Its weapons are natural, not adamantine, and so it has no way to inflict damage on the golem with its attacks.

Picture the scene: the Tarrasque awakens from its slumber, ready to raze whole civilizations. As it looks to the exit of the cave, it sees a large humanoid figure made of clay walking towards it slowly. It rears up and roars its defiance before unleashing its full fury on the intruder... Only to realize that its attacks don't even make a dent. The intruder then punches it in the nose. Twice. Mildly irritated, the Tarrasque swallows this meddlesome intruder, and forgets about it. Nothing survives in its stomach.

So, let's assume the Tarrasque takes its turn first. It uses its Frightful Presence (which the golem is immune to) and takes 5 attacks: one with its bite, which causes the golem to be restrained, two with its claws, one with its horns, and one with its tail. Due to its +19 to hit, we can safely assume the Tarrasque hits with every attack. Let's be nice and say the Tarrasque deals maximum damage and critically hits with every hit. This deals a grand total of 402 damage: enough to instantly kill pretty much anything in the game. The golem, due to its immunity, reduces this hit to zero.

On its turn, the golem attacks (factoring in disadvantage, two attacks per round, and the chance to critically hit, the golem does an average of 1.3335 damage per turn while restrained), and the Tarrasque uses its legendary action to swallow the golem. While inside the Tarrasque, the golem is blinded, restrained, and takes 56 (16d6) acid damage at the start of each of the Tarrasque's turns. Because clay golems are immune to acid (and in fact heal when acid damage is dealt to them), this is only a benefit to the golem. While it's inside it can't be harmed by anything outside, and it moves with the Tarrasque, so it can't even run away with its superior speed. Dealing an average of 1.3335 damage per turn, it will take the golem 507 turns of damage to reduce the Tarrasque to 0 hit points--this works out to being 3042 seconds, or just over 50 minutes.

And so there we have it: the big nasty Tarrasque brought low by a measly Clay Golem. Sure, it may take a while and a city or two might be destroyed in the meantime, but it seems silly that such a powerful creature would have a weakness that could be so easily exploited.

That's it from me, has anyone else found similar situations with other monsters?
 

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Mistwell

Crusty Old Meatwad (he/him)
Yeah pretty sure it would just regurgitate the golem, and then dig a hole and bury it like a dog with a bone.
 

Cernor

Explorer
Yeah pretty sure it would just regurgitate the golem, and then dig a hole and bury it like a dog with a bone.

You know that feeling of when you try to swallow too big a mouthful and the food gets stuck in your throat? Imagine that, but the food is holding on to the walls of your stomach and/or esophagus to stay inside. Or don't, it's slightly disturbing. :D
 



Chocolategravy

First Post
Monsters aren't made to fight monsters. This causes problems with things like charm or various role-playing ways of getting a monster to fight with or for you. As a DM you need to do a bunch of extra work and handwaving to stop players from doing things that would seem to make sense given the rules the world work by, but would bring the game to a crashing halt. That is what you get with a simplified system where monsters are made by their own rules.
 



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