Sure. But as we don't have concrete numbers to support any assertion on how common it is or isn't (apart from near-universal things like talking to women about their experiences of feeling unwelcome, condescended to, or insulted in some geek spaces), you raising the rhetorical idea of 1 in a billion is for practical purposes putting an emotional thumb on the scale without factual basis.
no I am giving examples I have no dog in this fight (if anything I side with the more progressive) I am not putting my thumb on the scale (although I do fear some are on both sides) I am just asking we look at the scale.
Could you please specify an example on this one? I don't think this particular point is helpful to talk about this way.
sure earlier someone said that they knew people of a minority that wanted things removed from some adventures. this was countered with another person saying they had run said adventure with the same minority and not only did they not want it removed but they enjoyed it as is. the second one mainly (but both eventually) where told that antidotes don't matter... I made a joke about the plural of antidotes is survay data, I went back and forth with another poster until we agreed no one has a perfectly peer reviewed scientific study on this... and this brings us to where I am now.
back in 4e I started out very vocal about an issue believing I was siding with women who would be put off from gaming if we didn't change something. Within a week I was corrected (both here on these boards, and in real life) that women I respected were on the reverse side. In trying to take my own experience as a guy who tries to be an ally, I missed a part of the woman experience. Up until right before covid shut down my local gaming store, there were still jokes/arguments on this topic from 15 years ago... and I HAVE been called sexist, for pointing out that "no, that isn't the way all woman feel" but I personally have only been called such by other men.
People (minority, majority, gamers, religious sects, even populations of towns) are not all on the same page. there is no group that ALL want something one way.
So I don't want any person dismissed who says "I have X experience" but I also don't want the person dismissed who says "I had the opposite experience"
As a moderately progressive guy who has VERY progressive friends this has (and is currently) caused me some paralysis. When confronted with "Some number of people want you to do 1 thing, but some other number of people want you to do the opposite, and BOTH groups are trying to help do the most good."
I also made a joke about the trolley problem, and how I would freeze and not be able to react fast enough to make a difference, then suffer PTSD for years and need therapy for seeing it play out. I also almost side treked the conversation by giving an example not of gaming where trying to do the right thing has me currently doing LOTS of research and still not having a good answer.