If you're going with the shared-narrative strong-DM model, from 2E and the like, then everyone must agree with (or at least tolerate) everything that exists in the game.
That's neither stated nor implied in 2e nor anywhere else. It's a construct that seems to serve no function beyond being a foundation for a OneTrueWay.
Maybe I'm playing the Cleric, but I don't want to play in a game where the Fighter has that power because it hurts my immersion too badly. I can't choose to imagine it differently from how the DM narrates it, or else I've violated (what I understand to be) the premise of the whole game.
You /can/ choose to imagine it differently. You don't understand the premise of the whole game. And, even if you are too dense and stubborn to realize or admit either of those things, you are also just plain being a jerk to the guy who /would/ like to play a fighter that's actually effective and comes off a bit like a martial character might in genre.
Or maybe I'm playing the Fighter, and I resent that I'm forced to choose between being effective at my game role and maintaining my role as player rather than narrator.
You aren't. The choices in 4e are reasonably balanced, so if you exclude some of them for whatever reason of personal taste, you don't unduly hurt your effectiveness.
This actually brings up an issue that I find important regarding 4E; the "creativity" thing. I have found 4E to have a real sweet spot in terms of being hugely creative with the set powers. Blagging the GM for what you can persuade them to let you get away with is all very well, but taking written powers and making them really leverage the specific situation is something I find genuinely creative. And the players I GM for seem to pull it off run after run after run. Different every time - as I said, situation, situation, situation...
Yes, I guess the process of exploring the depth of play offered by a game, would include some creativity.
I could use 4E-ish methods and mechanisms, absolutely. But why would I want to do that without leveraging the rules that the 4E designers have written down for me? I strongly disagree with making up "rulings" (= ad hoc system made up as we play) unless absolutely neccessary precisely because the players have no model of the game world that way.
'Rulings' are a good way for the DM to deal with failures of the system - be they intrinsic and mechanical or situational or of omission - the less a system fails, the less they're needed, but no system is perfect.
One point that I think gets overblown is that if you run a really bad system that fails frequently, you'll develop the GMing chops to fix system failures on the fly (or give up on GMing, if not on the hobby as a whole, of course), which'll help you run better games. Therefor bad rules are good.
There were two forms of such "creativity":
1) Using the clear and unambiguous effect of the spells in clever ways. This is very, very similar to the use of 4E powers I describe above, and just as laudable. The difference with 4E is that you don't need to be a spellcaster to do it.
2) Leveraging ambiguous, sloppily worded or vaguely defined spells to mean something that you can manage to persuade the GM it means in order to get a powerful effect. I put this in the same basket as the rest of the "blag the GM to get whatever you can get away with", except that it tends IME to be even easier and more extreme because "it's magic and magic can break the rules of reality, because it's magic..."
The second sort also further illustrates the problems with pretending that optionless martial characters make it up by improvising. The same folks who claim that hold martial improvised maneuvers to a genre-antithetical standard of RL realism, while letting magic get away with just about anything when it's time to use a spell 'creatively.'
The truth is though, I have played 4e for its entire run, and I've never yet had a player even USE CAGI, nobody ever bothered to take it (for whatever reason, I never asked).
I've seen a player take it and use it fairly enthusiastically. When it was used well, it was a really nice power. When used too recklessly, it got him dropped quickly. Either way, though, the player had a blast with it.
This is why I have never believed that the reasons people state for their preferences are the real underlying reasons, and why I continue to maintain that the constant bashing on 4e for the SURFACE reasons has produced such a dissatisfying result, because the real issues were never aired and addressed.
That's possibly one of the worst things about the edition war and the Next playtest process. The real issues were writ large between the lines, but never owned up to.
In the example I gave, the player was operating under the old model where the DM states the one true narrative of the game world, and everyone else tries to follow along with what's happening.
In case it wasn't obvious enough that all you're doing is pushing a OneTrueWay that D&D was never restricted to.
I admitted that this model is a poor fit for 4E, and is one of the major sources of conflict.
It's a poor fit for any RPG or shared storytelling experience, because it's nothing but a pretext for unnecessary conflict.
Rule 0, the DM has infinite force in the last word. In any case there's no reason to suppose that the players cannot come to a consensus about how powers work in specific circumstances.
I've had exactly that 'consensus' experience. When one player boggled that my Brawling Fighter was able to keep a bulette from tunneling away, I described him wedging up one of its armored plates so that it would hurt if it tried - like a Freman using a maker-hook on a Dune sandworm, a reference that immediately got him back into the narrative and enjoying it. There's usually a way - but, even when there isn't, the polite thing to do is let the other guy have is fun. It involves compromise, but that's why games at least make an attempt at balance.