Played a fighter recently, just finishing a campaign at 14th level. Every single time, I took a feat (that would be 5 times for those keeping score at home). Never once chose the ASI option. Which gave me a lot of control over the amount of "utility" I desired. As for "agency" and "identity", I did just fine. Of course, that's largely because I put those squarely on the shoulders of the people at the table. Not the book. So there's that.
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