The Friday Knights in Thunderspire Labyrinth (with Pics).

Goonalan

Legend
Supporter
The Friday Knights in Sellswords of Fallcrest

Chapter 1: At the gate.

Kullervo stared at the lock on the gate, then the alley beyond, then eventually behind him, at his two companions, and finally through the mists and rain of the night to the mostly sleeping city that formed the backdrop, all this... Fallcrest, it was strange to him, he'd wanted excitement, and yet...

Still, it'd all been worthwhile, he was an adventurer now, he was freezing his ass off in the rain, staring at a lock that was probably trapped, and which he probably couldn't open anyway, and with Cathal and Ignaran's eyes burning holes in his back... but at least he was an adventurer now. It was what he wanted to do- last week, now he wasn't so sure.

A farm boy from Phsant, three days ago something inside him had snapped, he'd bundled his clothes, and in the dead of night, upped and left- no note. He missed home- warmth, smiling faces, good cooking; safety.

He looked again at the lock, then beyond- Cutpurse Alley [1] a well worn thoroughfare, the cobbled path slowly turning into a rivulet of stink as the rain continued to fall, up and right he could see a light, and every now and then hear raised voices- guards more than likely, Kullervo gulped- his throat was dry, very dry.

Home was less than ten miles away, ten miles and one whole world. His life had changed forever, he hoped- if only he could figure out what to do next; how to open the lock, find the traps- it was bound to be trapped Kullervo figured. The gate to Cutpurse Alley was a monstrosity in wrought iron, all leering gargoyles, teeth, claws and talons- it said “keep out”, forget said, it shouted- “NO ENTRY.” [2]

It'd taken Kullervo the rest of the night to walk from Phsant to Fallcrest, he'd never been to the city before, ten miles- he hadn't travelled further than half that distance from the farm in the the first nineteen years of his life, that was going to change.

The massive gates to Fallcrest were shut, that was his first surprise. He had to wait an hour in the dawn mist until a guard [3] came into sight, atop the battlement-

“Ho there, I want to come in...” Kullervo called up and waved.
“Then you've a long wait.” The guard shouted back, and smirked a little, settling in to enjoy the show.
The silence stretched, Kullervo fretted a little.
“What time do you open?” He eventually called back.
The guard shrugged, at least Kullervo presumed he did, hard to see for sure at this distance.
“We're shut.” The Soldier added and stifled a laugh.
Kullervo thought about this for a while- this wasn't going well he decided.
“Why?” Kullervo tried.
“Bandits.” The guard gestured vaguely down the Trade Road, away from Fallcrest.
“Markelhay's orders.” He added by way of explanation, Markelhay the name of the Lord of Fallcrest, even Kullervo knew that.
“What do I...” Kullervo started up.
“Sod off.” The Guard offered and did little to hide his amusement, a little while later he took to making a gesture that Kullervo had last witnessed in the school playground of Phsant, aged six [4]; Kullervo swiftly picked up a stone and threw it.
Ding.
Then ran.

[1] Cutpurse Alley, Back Alley (also known as “The Crack”), Beggars Way and Stabbers Paradise map out the line of conflict, the war zone, between the Beggars Guild and the Shadowmen, perhaps the largest Thieves Guild in Fallcrest. Interestingly the suicide rate in this area of the city is the highest of any region, most preferred methods of “offing” oneself are- multiple stab wounds, poisoned crossbow bolt and self-strangulation- go figure.

[2] The gate to Cutpurse Alley was manufactured and installed by “Gates”, a local firm that specialises in gates, and traps, oh and trapped gates. The CEO of Gates, Build Gates, also runs Microshaft, which operates out of a shadowy booth in one of the night markets, specialising in extreme hardened crossbow bolts with very thin, and therefore lightweight, shafts- alas the present design has problems with loading. The gate in question is a BFTG9000, guaranteed to bloody- Kullervo is right to be nervous.

[3] The guard in question was Arthur Snickett, known to friends, family and enemies alike as a “complete tosser.”

[4] Billy Huffenpuff, also aged 6, made the gesture to Kullervo in the Phsant School playground- he later lost two teeth in a hammer-related accident, the incidents are connected..

Until next time...
 
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Goonalan

Legend
Supporter
The Friday Knights in Sellswords of Fallcrest

Chapter 2: Getting wet.

Suddenly there’s a hand on his shoulder, Kullervo spins around and straight into the bearded and bristling face of Cathal.
“Well, Thief?” Cathal growls and sucks on a tuft of beard.
Kullervo shakes his head- he can't do it, doesn't know how, he'd learn though.
The warrior, Cathal, half-stomps, half-squelches back to the third of the companions- a slight man, Ignaran the Druid , to deliver the bad news. A strange place for a Druid to be- Fallcrest. Ignaran Kullervo knows from his previous life, the Druid lives a little outside of Phsant, in the woods up near Spinney Hill [1]. Kullervo had met him once or twice in the village, at a festival or on a market day, another time he'd been to his father's farm- he was a good man, or so they said, until this morning Kullervo had never said one word to him.

Ignaran and Cathal moved forward at a crouch, it was getting late, they'd left the Blue Moon Inn [2] at midnight and the threesome had been crouched in the rain before the gate for a little over fifteen minutes now. Ignaran reached out and put his hand on Kullervo's shoulder, gripped tight to the farmboy’s leather jerkin and squeezed, he smiled, winked and then pointedly stared at the wall to the left of the forboding gate- soon Cathal and Kullervo were grinning too.

Less than two minutes later the three were on the roof of the building, and beyond the gate, pressed against the incline of the slates, there was indeed a light ahead, on another roof, on the other side of the alley- or so it seemed from where they lay; and noises too- someone was definitely there, and unless they passed the time by talking to themselves [4], they weren't alone.

The trio were soaked, nowhere to hide from the rain up here- Kullervo remembered back to his arrival in Fallcrest, it'd damn near killed him, getting in.

After wandering around much of the south wall of Fallcrest he'd eventually come to the conclusion that there was no way in, solid stone walls- thirty feet high in places, a smattering of guards their odd looks- on sighting him, often leading to flurries of activity and wild pointing, he’d tried to keep out of sight- there really was no way in.

Except for the river- the raging Nentir River, rapids all the way down from the Falls. You'd have to be a lunatic to go in there [5], doubly so because a man would have to swim up-river, you'd have to be pretty desp... Kullervo cut the melodrama and dived in.

It took him a little under thirty minutes to swim the two hundred yards or so needed to a spot on the bank where he could at last drag himself out of the maelstrom, escape the force of the torrent. He'd rested once or twice on his journey, although rested may have been over-selling it a little. What he had done, when his arms were frozen, numb from cold and exertion, was to drag himself up onto some of the bigger rocks in the stream, sprawl there for as long as he dared, before pushing back off into the surge and spray.

And it was thus he'd arrived in Fallcrest. First impressions- it stank. Of fires, of food, of animals packed too tightly, of people packed too tightly [6]; and yet there were few people about. Kullervo, to be on the safe side, had decided that it would be best if he found somewhere to rest, he didn't want to be seen, a young man emerging sodden from the river, a lunatic people would think, more than likely they’d be right. He smiled thinly to himself, and scurried on into a deserted street..

The houses either side were empty shells, broken ruins- a lasting reminder of the conflict that had come to Fallcrest a century past [7], although Kullervo did not know this, could only guess. He found a place with a roof, or else the majority of its roof- and collapsed there, clinging to the floor, his head still spinning, his arms and legs freezing and yet inside on fire. He slept. Badly.

He dreamt of death, a crushing force, pushing all the air out of him- he slept for most of two days and one night, it was Ignaran that found him, weak and fevered and almost unable to move.

[1] At the foot of Spinney Hill is The Spinney, a dense copse of trees rather than a woods, often found to contain the desiccated corpses of travellers and wandering farmers’ sons and daughters, also home to quite a collection of poisonous spiders.

[2] The Blue Moon Inn, or Alehouse, to give it its full title, proprietor Par Winnomer, a flake; the place actually survives, scratch that- thrives, because of the good work of the Halfling Alemaster Kemara “Hollow-Legs” Brownbottle. Hollow Legs, at night, fights crime in the city [3], travelling under the nom de guerre, “The Brownbottle”. Most people who frequent the Inn and/or live in the locale know this- it's made all the more obvious by the Brownbottle's crime-fighting costume, which consists solely of a wide-brimmed hat with lots of fruit on. Other than that the Bottle travels naked as the day she was born

[3] Actually what the Brownbottle does is stagger around till four in the morning swigging from a bottle and singing songs that would make sailors blush. However she keeps the burglars away.

[4] Talking to yourself - voted the third favourite pastime by residents of the Fallcrest Secure Mental Institution, proprietors Burke & Hare; interestingly basket weaving was placed second, while the age-old favourite random slayings came first, again. Swimming in the Nentir River placed only seventh this year- mainly, it has to be said, due to its popularity; most people only try it once.

[5] See [4].

[6] The Fallcrest full time Gnome and some-time Philosopher- Gilbert O' O, once wrote “the smell of excrement is the smell of humanity”, his neighbours agreed wholeheartedly.

[7] Fallcrest has suffered for centuries from invaders, the common adage, “points of light”, a description of the dotted enclaves of humanity within the region, is more true of Fallcrest than many of the other cities- the points of light in question are more often than not fires.
 
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Goonalan

Legend
Supporter
The Friday Knights in Sellswords of Fallcrest

Part 3: Nature comes to Town.

“What we need is a plan.” Ignaran, the Druid, whispers back and clings to the slick tile roof. He’s a little out of his element, although in the elements, he’s soaked to the skin.
“We need someone to go take a look.” Cathal grumbles, he even grumbles when he whispers.
The warrior stares hard at Kullervo.

Eventually the young Rogue cottons-on, nods once, grins a little, nervously, then slips over the peak of the roof onto the lea side, and abruptly disappears into the night.

Ignaran and Cathal wait a while, several ‘whiles’ in fact, they’ve just the rain and each other for company.

“Where'd you find him?” Cathal eventually grumbles, if only to break the silence.
“I knew him, or rather, knew of him, back in Phsant- that's a little village just outside of...”
“I know where it is.” Cathal snaps back.
“What good is he?” he adds.
Ignaran takes his time with an answer, he counts to ten twice, all the time staring, with a fixed smile, at Cathal’s sodden beard. In truth Ignaran had already decided that Cathal was not a people person, but that counted for little. The way he wore his armour, the sheen of his sword- Ignaran knew the warrior could be relied upon.
“He'll prove his worth before the end, of that I have no doubt.” The Druid whispers back and smiles some more, “as will we all”, he adds for good measure.
Cathal grunts and goes back to peering into the impenetrable dark [1].

Ignaran's arrival in Fallcrest had been much easier than Kullervo’s, although in truth he had been loathe to even enter the city, he'd been to the place before, even stayed in the city a while- but that was a long time ago. Besides he had been sent for, by Nimozaran, High Wizard and Septarch of Fallcrest; a grand title, particularly for an old man who wore mismatched slippers with his frayed magical robes [2], always had crumbs in his beard, and dribbled a little - not always when he was asleep.

Two days ago, at ten bells, the gates of Fallcrest had opened for him, and just him. There'd been a guard sent to meet him, guide him to Nimozaran's tower, he knew the way but appreciated the company, the crowded streets of Fallcrest made Ignaran itch [3].

“Why are the gates shut?” Ignaran enquires.
The guard points the way, clears a passage through the crowd, Ignaran flinches a little.
“Bandits on the Trade Road 'tween here and Winterhaven [4]- an uprising, humanoids- they need putting down for good if you ask me.” The guard confirms and elbows a young man aside.
“Sorry.” Ignaran nods at the injured party and moves on as quickly as he can.
“Have they attacked the city, or threatened to do so?”
“Nah. Markelhay's just being cautious, keep the merchants off the roads- don't want any more caravans disappearing.” [5]
Ignaran nods by way of reply- there are a lot of people about, and now he's had a chance to have a good look at them, the citizens of Fallcrest, they look tired, grim.
“They look...” Ignaran scans the crowd, the guard understands- smirks.
“Trapped- that's the down side, shut the gates and you've suddenly got a lot of people frightened about what's out there; leave them open and you run the risk of what's out there getting in, can't win.” The guard shrugs, and shoos more of the crowd out of the way.

The rest of the journey was fairly unspectacular, although it was obviously true what the guard said, tensions were running high in places, people squabbled over meat at the market, argued outside the pubs and taverns- the City of Fallcrest was at odds with itself.

Over the lea of the tiled roof Kullervo appears, one moment there's nothing, the next there's Kullervo [6]- Cathal grunts- clearly surprised.
“He's good at that.” Ignaran offers with a smile.
“Well, report?” Cathal barks- the sound of the rain on the roof is almost deafening. No one's going to hear them, they can barely hear themselves.

“The alley dog-legs left into a small courtyard, there's something down there- a statue... or a well, something. There are windows there, we could get in... Actually, I could get in.” Kullervo nods at Cathal's armour.
“Don't worry about me.” The warrior grunts, “go on.”
“Anyway, where it turns left there's a low flat roof, on the opposite side of the alley- we could go around, although it'd take a while, and it's slippy; or we could jump down and get up on the other side.”
“Just finish your report.” Cathal's patience is wearing thin.
“Three guards on the flat roof- a fat one, a thin one, and a big one [7]; the fat one and the thin one are discussing something, the big one isn't joining in... he looks a bit... you know, simple.”
“And in the alley itself- where's the door?” Ignaran, who up till now had been silent, enquires with a reassuring smile.
“'bout ten yards straight on from here, and down; the guards will see us though.” Kullervo finishes his report, rubs himself down trying to get his circulation going again, if they don't move soon they're going to be good for nothing.

[1] Impenetrable Dark, or “Off-Black”, street name “Business Hours”, scores 1 on the Dark Scale, recognising the Scales of Dark is a commonly taught skill, particularly in the Thieves’ Guilds and the better schools of Fallcrest. Dark-Dark, or “Black”, street name “Oof”, is to be avoided at all costs, even by our dagger-wielding brethren, that's when accidents really happen.

[2] Nimozaran's left slipper bears the legend “Best Dad”, only someone has added the word “Wiz” betwixt “Best” and “Dad”; it therefore now reads “Best WizDad.” The right slipper is shaped like a huge lion's paw- Nimozaran was heard to exclaim once- “no one can track me”, while the contrary is actually true. His robes are held together by clotted egg yolk, he's not big on solids.

[3] Although that may have been the fact that he used the albumen of lizard eggs as a detergent, although not often- which may also have been a factor.

[4] Winterhaven- we'll get there later, relax.

[5] Actually no caravans have to date “disappeared”, they have in fact spread out, increased in size, what with the tumble of belongings, and the scattered burnt and abused bodies of those that formerly travelled with the caravan.

[6] One of the many benefits of impenetrable dark, see [1].

[7] Union rules, Mercs Guild- three guards= one fat, one thin, one big and stupid; the Friday Knights were fortunate that the Beggar King could only afford three guards, a four person guard unit requires the addition of “one who knows what he is doing”, close call.
 
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Goonalan

Legend
Supporter
The Friday Knights in Sellswords of Fallcrest

Part 4: A Dark Cloud gathers.

Cathal chews at his beard, Ignaran keeps quiet, a confrontation lies ahead it seems- something the Druid knows very little about, leave it to the experts he thinks. Wordlessly Kullervo, the neophyte Rogue, concurs.

Nimozaran's Tower, a bloody pigsty - scratch that - Ignaran had seen cleaner pigsties; arcane implements, for which read odd items of no value, or use, with hieroglyphics and/or stars and moons on them [1], mixed in with the rotting remains of meals, some of which may be fast approaching their birthdays [2].

Nimozaran however was in grand form-

“I have been calculating the movements of the heavenly bodies, making appraisals, my auguries require long hours of research- the Lord Markelhay depends upon me for sage advice [3]. I have no time for the mundane things, per ardva ad astra... as they say- through endeavour to the stars.”
“Head in the clouds more like.” Ignaran mutters and scans the room, in search of a chair, and failing that somewhere safe to perch, to no avail.
“Which is why I called you.”
“Go on.” Ignaran puts a hand out to lean against the wall, regrets it instantly. The chipped plaster is damp and warm, and greasy- he wipes away the traces on his robe.
“Your father spoke very highly of you, before he...” [4] Nimozaran waves a hand about, a vague gesture.
“Yes.” Ignaran agrees.
“Anyway, a natural phenomena, can't see it now”, Nimozaran indicates the spyglass set up at the towers open window, “but during the day, well...”
“What sort of phenomena?” Ignaran circumspectly makes his way to the window, it takes a while.
“A dark cloud, or some such, the stars are more my thing- heavenly bodies, have I already said that; anyway a dark cloud gathers- rather foreboding isn't it?” Nimozaran chuckles.
Ignaran shrugs back.
“Over an abandoned tower, down by the docks, Cutpurse Alley way- Beggar King's domain, not nice- a filthy place.” The last part of the sentence is spat out with as much disgust as the Mage can muster.
Ignaran looks around the tower again, “filthy”, he agrees.
“Yes, well- I want you to take a look. Reports you see.”
“Reports of what?” Ignaran asks.
But is deflected by Nimozaran's 'search me' look and multiple shrugs.
“All this way for...” Ignaran starts.
“Better to be safe than sorry... isn't that what your father used to say?” Nimozaran smiles, a patronising smile.

Ignaran shakes his head, bends to look through the spyglass- he's here now, he may as well take a look, they'll pay- not that money is important, he does however need some new blankets, and his coffee pot is looking battered, a few creature comforts wouldn't go amiss.

The Druid straightens up, fixes a crooked smile on his face and stares hard at Nimozaran, who stares back- expectantly, “Well?”
“You use this to study heavenly bodies?” Ignaran indicates the spyglass.
“Yes, yes. Well- will you do it?” Nimozaran asks impatiently.
“Yes. Of course. My pleasure.” Ignaran smirks back and is met by a nicotine stained grin- which a little later, when Ignaran replays the moment in his mind, makes him feel apprehensive.

The Druid bends down again to get one last look at the naked fat lady sploshing up and down in a much too small water butt, soaping herself, and obviously enjoying the experience [5]; he straightens again, winks at the High Septarch, and departs.

“Right. Listen up- you two make your way forward, stay hidden for a minute, then spring out, give them all you've got. While the enemy are engaged with you I shall cross to the other side, move forward at speed, and take them by surprise- they won’t know what hit them.” Cathal finishes and slams a fist into the palm of his hand, he begins to move away.
“Hang on. How are you...” Kullervo starts up.
“That's my concern. Just you do your bit.” Cathal settles it.
“Which is...?” Ignaran’s still not sure. [6]
“Throw something at them, whatever it is you do- get their attention, sing and dance for all I care. Just give me the chance to get around them!” Cathal barks and splutters.

And with that the warrior shoos the pair away, Ignaran and Kullervo share a worried look, then edge forward, hidden in the lea of the roof. Trying to find a safe and secure hiding place opposite the flat roof on which the three guards perch- one fat, one thin and one staring at the toe-nail of the moon- open mouthed, and in-between gawps, grinning.

[1] “Incantata & Implementia”, proprietor Alan Shuttlecock, Gnome Magikinator; made a small fortune selling Wizard-Kits, Alchemy-Kits, and various other Do-It-Yourself items, including the Home Diabolist Pack, and the “So you want to make a Pact with the Devil- Starter Kit.” Alas his shop “went on fire” three months back, all his stock was destroyed in the conflagration and the Gnome's body was never found. Rumours of Demonic rituals were hastily quashed by the Fallcrest City Guard- it was they said, “an insurance job”, although to date no one has made a claim.

[2] A few of the abandoned half-consumed meals are actually looking forward to their second birthdays- one, the remains of a Child's Portion of Fishy-Fingers and Ye Olde Chips, is only two months away from its third.

[3] The job of Court Magician is actually a sinecure, like Court Jester, only less well thought of. Nimozaran's only use, according to Count Fosco, one of Markelhay's flunkies, is as a convenient place to rest Nimorazan's hat. Truth be told it is a very good hat- although some of the stars and moons have started to peel off.

[4] Ah yes, I wonder what Ignaran's father did? I hope you do too.

[5] Mrs. Candice Fanakapan, 34; cook, glass-washer and general dogsbody at “The Market 'otel”, a low to no-class establishment where rooms are rented by the hour. She is, it seems, very fond of her nightly ablutions.

[6] Ignaran’s last major confrontation was with a swarm of Fire Ants three summers ago. They’d started renting out space in his lean-to accommodation, and were way behind with the rent- something had to give. Ignaran moved out two days later, it took two weeks for the ants to find him again- but those two weeks were bliss.
 
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Goonalan

Legend
Supporter
The Friday Knights in Sellswords of Fallcrest

Part 5: The Strength of Kord.

Ignaran was fed up at the Inn, it was a very nice Inn, the Blue Moon Alehouse, but it was just so full of people. Nimozaran had booked him a room, he'd slept little that night, eager to be about his business, and on edge still. The aged Wizard’s smile still haunted him, and it was noisy the city- and rude till the early hours of the morning. [1]

Eventually he'd got out of the Inn and taken a wander, although that hadn't gone too well either. An ugly man [2] had tried to sell him a 'hot dog', a comestible, some kind of sausage in a bread roll. The man was fairly insistent, and ugly with it, in the end Ignaran had bought two so as not to appear to be a tourist. He’d managed to eat less than half of one, burnt on the outside and raw on the inside- and it didn't taste at all of dog. It left him feeling queasy, a little like the city.

He'd made his way to the docks, which was an experience. He guessed that a good three-quarters of the language being put to good use there was expletives, the rest was anatomical in nature, and equally bewildering. He'd asked a total of six sober men how to get to Cutpurse Alley, their answers varied, favourite by far was a vague arm gesture to the right. One man asked him if he wanted to buy a cat, at least that's what Ignaran thought he'd asked, some cats perhaps. [3]

He found Cutpurse Alley, of course. In despair he’d looked up and in the distance spotted a tower, the upper floors of which were lost in a ripped black fog- 'that’d be the place' he thought, just after- 'stupid'. Look up, that's all he had to do. He made his way towards the tower, quickly and quietly- trying not to meet anyone’s eye. He had less than ten gold coins left; things were expensive when you had to pay for them. [4]

Ignaran got his first view of Cutpurse Alley, and the formidable gate that blocked the way - clearly someone didn't like unexpected visitors- perhaps they were shy. He'd cast around the alley for an hour or more, circled and back-tracked- explored. There were no other ways of approaching the tower; this was the only way in. The Druid mooched away from Cutpurse Alley, musing on the problem, he’d not got far however when something dawned on him. He looked back at the gate and grinned. There was no way in, save one perhaps, a more aerial route across the roofs.

“Ready?” Kullervo whispers.
“What?” Ignaran grips tight hold of the peaked roof, tiles beneath his feet skitter and slide.
“I said ready?” Kullervo tries again.
“Yes. I sup...”
But by then it's too late, Kullervo's legs a moment ago were jelly, the only thing keeping them from collapsing the certainty of his own voice. He pushes off, up and over, half-slides down the roof ahead and comes to a balanced halt, and then in one swift motion lets a dagger fly. Later he will remember not his poise, or agility, or even his accuracy- instead he will remember the sickening sound of the dagger hitting it's target.

A moment ago three guards marked time on the flat roof above Cutpurse Alley. Fat Alan has a pie, a beautiful pie [5], still warm. He bites into it, gravy explodes and runs down his chin, the roof of his mouth is on fire, hot lumps of meat and potato mashed into it. He chomps and wrestles with the meaty bolus trying desperately to swallow.

Squinty, the smaller guard, continues to stare out into the dark, his one good eye working like some demented lighthouse, in truth he can see maybe ten paces in daylight. Squinty overcompensates by hiding pins and coins, and the like in locales he frequents, and thus he appears eagle-eyed to those that accompany him to these set-ups. “Ah. A copper coin”, he would exclaim and bend to retrieve the previously planted coin- while his companions marvel at his keen eyesight. In truth he found one-in-twenty of the items he hid- it was a costly business being eagle-eyed.

The third guard, Kronk, is a mystery even unto himself. A round faced moon child with more than a little Orc in his blood, and, it had to be said, in his wide chin, pointed ears, pig-like snout, and hard ridged forehead. The aforementioned physical characteristics had almost been the death of him on numerous occasions- people didn't like Orcs. He was saved, again and again, by the fact that he weighed just the wrong side of two-hundred and fifty pounds, the most of which was corded muscle.

The guards went about their business- Fat Alan ate, Squinty squinted, and Krunk fired a golden arc of urine into the alley below- giggling slightly, all was well with their world.

Kullervo's knife arcs out, and spins, and spins, and sp... Thunk. And digs deep into Fat Alan's back, Alan falls- backwards, his pie tumbles skyward, his last motions a flailing attempt to grasp the spinning pastry.

“Noooooooooooo.”
THUMP.
Alan lands hard, in combination with badly.
Gravity helps the pie, which leads to a second, but much briefer-
“Nooahhh...”
Fat Alan lies still.

Ignaran hasn't moved, the Druid is paralysed- watching, he looks hard right.

“Give me Strength... Kord.” The last word a hushed whisper, the first three at maximum volume. Cathal sprints down the roof and launches himself into the air, crashes down on the far side of the alley, one foot smashes through tiles, dangles in space for a second, and then is ripped out and kicked forward- the pace is terrifying. In places the roof sags and trembles, the sound of unseen beams snapping and cracking; tiles are smashed, sundered or else sent slithering down into the alley below, like very hard rain. Cathal charges, and is at, and slightly above, the flat roof in seconds.

Kronk turns to stare, fumbles for his blade, but is far too slow, the warrior smashes an iron boot into the guard’s face breaking jaw, nose, eye socket- most everything. Cathal, blade before him, drops in and skewers the Half Orc, the tip of his longsword jutting a good ten inches through Krunk's back. The guard attempts desperately to push himself away from Cathal, to get free of the warrior's sword, one mailed arm shoots out and slams into his back, pushing the blade in deeper.

“You’re a big man, but you’re out of shape. For me it’s a full-time job. Now behave yourself... and die.” Cathal growls in a conspiratorial whisper.

Krunk gasps as Cathal withdraws the blade in a flurry of motion and, for good measure, butts the dying guard in the face- things burst and Krunk is dead before he hits the floor.

Cathal looks about, eventually spots Squinty, the little man, he's two roofs away, and moving at speed, his blade, and watch duty, abandoned.

“Secure.” Cathal confirms with a shout and a wave.

On the far roof Kullervo grins then suddenly feels very sick.

“You can get up now.” he calls back to Ignaran and swallows hard, the Druid gingerly emerges, all three adventurers wander to the edge of their respective roofs to inspect the damage below.

[1] The Brownbottle (see previous chapters) never sleeps, that is until about 4 AM when she slumps down in an alley and enters a state of meditation not too dissimilar to a coma- another hard night fighting crime over.

[2] Big Frank or Frankie, short for Frankenfurter; his marketing ethos is meat with menaces, aggressive marketing for Frankie means ramming a steaming sausage-in-a-bun in a potential customer's face, and then pointedly going for his dagger. It helps that Big Frank has so much scar tissue that his face looks like a poorly constructed jigsaw, one ear is a good three inches lower than the other, and faces in the opposite direction. Visitors to the city often mistake him for some kind of Golem.

[3] The man in question was a pimp, work the rest out yourself.

[4] A Druid needs feeding, and what nature doesn't supply the good folk of the nearest village or settlement make up for. Living off the land sounds very hunter-gatherer, but smarter Druids camp out near to humanoid settlements, especially ones with cake shops.

[5] A Mrs. Miggins “Crusty Special”, as the sign outside of Mrs. Miggins shop states “If you like biggins... try Miggin’s.” Bloody marketing men- the pies remain excellent however. Their best selling “Meat & Something” pies are the staple diet of the masses, most especially the drunken masses.
 

Goonalan

Legend
Supporter
The Friday Knights in Sellswords of Fallcrest

Part 6: Adventurers.

“Pie.” Fat Alan whispers, and wipes meat and potato mush from his face. He's not dead, which comes as a shock to everyone- Fat Alan included.

The last remaining guard gets to his feet- still woozy; looks left, then right, then behind him, rubs the back of his head and frowns- then looks up, “naughty word”, he scarpers.
“Get him.” Cathal orders, and yet is the only one daft enough to leap the fifteen or so feet down from the roof.
“naughty word.” Kullervo echoes Fat Alan's sentiment, his legs buckle- terrified he decides against the rapid descent, particularly after watching Cathal make such a mess of it. The warrior is picking himself up however, although grimacing, clearly in a great deal of pain.

Fat Alan meanwhile has not been idle, he kicks at the door in the alley, once, twice then he's in. A wedge of light streams out, the sound of Fat Alan's voice carries, “under attack” and something about “my bloody pie”, are clearly heard.

And into Cutpurse Alley strides Fernando Del Amitri [1], a swarthy middle-aged man in tight leathers with a network of scars on his face, like fretwork. A wanted man, a cut-throat, ex-pirate- no buckle left unswashed, a villain, a... nasty piece of work. Fernando draws his rapier- Marlene [2], he names all of his blades, sashays forward slicing the air, finally reaches the newly arisen, and very hurt, Cathal. Fernando salutes the warrior with his rapier, then like a cat, crouches- ready to pounce.

“I am Fernando Del Amitri, I killed my father, now prepare to die...” [3] Which as introductions go is not a bad one. Kullervo makes a mental note to get himself an intro, or at least steal that one. Fernando launches his first attack, an attack he calls his 'mystery blade', he prances forward blade before him; Fernando is a swordsman you see.

Ignaran's mind clears, he mutters words, more like guttural sounds, and suddenly a wolf appears in the alley, just to the left of Fernando, his immediate left. It has to be said that while Fernando notices the wolf he remains remarkably calm, right up until the point the salivating canid sinks its teeth into the fleshy part of his calf, a little later we will hear the sound of his left fibula breaking.

Crack.

There, that's it.

Fernando suddenly goes pale, however the colour returns to his cheeks a moment later when Cathal's longsword connects with his right shoulder, hacking into bone and sawing through sinew, blood jets and gushes, the air takes on a reddish tinge.

“I am...” is all Fernando manages as, with a dull thud, Kullervo's dagger thumps into the swordsman's chest. He sinks to his knees, then whispers “I killed my father...”, and pitches forward- very deceased.
“Good work”, Cathal grumbles, catches his breath and tries not to put too much weight on his left leg, “now stop buggering about and get down here the pair of you.”

Ignaran snakes an arm out, grasps Kullervo, “you alright?”. The pair continue to peer down into the alley, the shattered body of Fernando Del Amitri, then over to the opposite roof, and the likewise broken body of Krunk. Kullervo gulps, throat now very dry, and nods- Ignaran offers the young man a flask of water and then leads him away from the edge.

Ignaran had found the unconscious Kullervo yesterday evening. He'd quickly grown tired, scratch that- irritated, by the bustling streets of the city, and the dock quarter in particular. He'd wandered- away from the crowds, and a little while later found himself in the ruins of Fallcrest. The remains of the Blood War, the coming of the Red Hand, a century ago a rampaging force had swept through the Nentir Vale, not seeking to settle, or usurp; seeking only to destroy. Ignaran knew his history- Fallcrest had fallen then, although much of it had been rebuilt. There still stood, or rather didn't stand, areas of ruin- shadows of darker times.

Later Kullervo had asked the Druid how he had found him, lost, as he was, in the ruins. Ignaran spoke of instinct, and the way of nature, how all life is holy, and about the abstract order of the universe being a force for good, a force for survival. He spoke of his dedication and training, his ability to read nature's signs [4]. Kullervo, of course, was suitably impressed.

And so Ignaran carried Kullervo back to the Blue Moon Alehouse, he recognised the young villager, and suspected he knew how he had got into the city, and his reasons for being here. He also knew how to fix Kullervo's particular ailment- drink, good food, a few carefully chosen herbs and a warm fire- and more sleep.

He watched over the young man for the rest of the evening and late into the night, the bar had filled, then emptied, filled again, and then emptied again- it was like watching the tides.

Nobody bothered the pair by the fire, nobody except...
“Mind?” Cathal barks. [5]
It was a question, Ignaran could tell by the question mark, he shrugs and Cathal plonks himself down in the chair next to Kullervo.
The interloper is a big man in his early thirties with a moustache that would leave him tasting his breakfast for much of the day. He seemed on edge, unable to relax.
Time passes, slowly - measured mostly by the exchange of side-long glances.
“Pissed?” Cathal finally asks, and nods at Kullervo.
“No. He'll be as right as rain in a little while.”
“Mmm.” Cathal doubts.
Silence settles over the trio again.
“Work?” Cathal eventually asks, and smooths his moustache.
“What sort of work?” Ignaran replies, a little put out.
“'venturing.” Cathal nods and raises a now steaming iron-clad boot to hover over the flames of the fire.
Kullervo awakes in an instant.
“Adventuring?” His eyes glisten in the firelight.
“Yes.” Cathal confirms, and nods for good measure.
“What's the job?” Kullervo is as quick as a flash.
“Whatever it is we're not...” Ignaran starts up.
“Cutpurse Alley- going to relieve the Beggar King of something very valuable to him.” Cathal gets the hang of things, an actual sentence.
“Cutpurse Alley...” Ignaran starts, but is duly ignored.
“Valuable?” It's Kullervo's turn for the one word questions.
“Hundred gold for each man.” Cathal knows he's winning.
“One hundred...” Kullervo's eyes are like saucers.
“Did you say Cutpurse Alley, the one with the gate?” Ignaran asks.
Cathal nods curtly.
“What gate?” Kullervo adds, but is ignored- it's his turn.
“Count me in.” Ignaran proffers his hand.
“Me too.” Kullervo agrees, and grins from ear to ear.
Ignaran is about to protest when, “Cathal.” Cathal declares and then pumps Kullervo's hand, “be here at midnight, and be ready”, and then he's up and lost in the crowd.
The Druid gawps and stammers, his mind trying to process new information.
“You're Ignaran, aren't you? I've heard tales about you - you're... a survivor, out there in the wilds. You must be pretty tough.” Kullervo grins, nods and offers his hand to Ignaran.
“It's Kullervo isn't it? I know your father.” Ignaran smiles, preens a little, and shakes the proffered hand.

The two settle down by the fire.

“Adventurers.” Kullervo states much later, and chuckles to himself.
“Hmm.” Ignaran murmurs, and suddenly looks less pleased.

[1] Fernando Del Amitri, a legend in his own mind; in truth he is an ageing and yet still handsome miscreant with the gift of the gab. The Del Amitri's are butchers by trade, specialising in blood sausage and the harder to find, and identify, cuts of meat. Fernando was barred from the family trade partly because of his dandyish behaviour, but mostly because he faints at the first sight of blood, and thus he ended up a swordsman; and in the employ of the Beggar King- who is not known for generous salaries.

[2] Fernando sleeps with Marlene, and sometimes his rapier too.

[3] Alan Del Amitri, Fernando's father, is very much alive, and still wielding the cleaver; although he hasn't been in the family butcher's shop for over a decade. Nobody, alas, has come by enough courage to tell him to put the blade down yet.

[4] He'd heard him snoring.

[5] Cathal employs two modes of communication, barking and grumbling, both best suited to the parade ground- he appears most times to be talking, or rather shouting, at someone on the next table over.
 

Goonalan

Legend
Supporter
The Friday Knights in Sellswords of Fallcrest

Part 7: The Goose.

Cathal strides out of the Blue Moon Alehouse and back into the night, but only for a short perambulation. Actually what he does is exit the front door of the Inn, complete a half-circuit of the place, and then head back in through the back door, to a less crowded bar. The latter circuitous route is employed in order to confuse anyone observing his movements- his paranoia is ingrained. Situated in the midst of the smaller bar Cathal searches- looks left, then right, then left again. Eventually he notices the very small hunchbacked man, beneath his line of sight, tugging at his mail.

It's 'The Goose', his employer [1]. The Goose, it is said, hit every branch of the ugly tree on the way down.
“Is it done?” The small man slurs, not through alcohol but for effect, he's aiming for a mystery wrapped in an enigma but hitting annoying far too often. He balloons his cape, which is far too big for him, and disappears momentarily beneath its bulk. Cathal waits, eventually the Goose surfaces.
Cathal nods.
“Good.” He slurs and clasps his hands together and rubs, “mwah...”, head back he goes to laugh.
“Shut up” Cathal offers, and lets his hand rest on the hilt of his blade.
“Right.” The Goose nods and takes a sip of his Pina Collider [2], the umbrella almost takes his eye out.
“Right.” Cathal confirms and wishes himself elsewhere, seconds later he grants his own wish and stalks off.

He gets about ten paces heading for the exit.

“And don't forget to bring the Beggar King's [3] head back”. The Goose shouts over the noise of the now silent, and staring, bar.
“Oopsie.” The Goose turns swiftly away swirling his cloak about him, he disappears into its voluminous folds, well... not quite, but leaves all eyes on Cathal.
“Kord, give me strength.” The Warrior mutters and grumbles, then quick-smart dashes for the exit.

“This way.” Kullervo motions towards the dog-leg left, “I saw something down here.”

Kullervo edges forward past the sprawled body of the swordsman, Del Amitri; around the corner the alley opens out into a small courtyard, just as he had said- the young Rogue looks behind him, Cathal tugs at his beard and then nods for him to go on.

Kullervo creeps forward; the rain is becoming torrential, he wades through filthy water, almost over his boots. A low mist roils and coils- it appears to snake and curl from the odd-shaped object ahead, he proceeds with caution.

There are windows here, on the floor above, the shimmer of light, clearly the place is inhabited. He waits a moment, silent- focussing on the sounds of the night, only the rain- no other noise.

He creeps forward some more- the alley ends in a fountain/statue affair, all angles- hard to make out what it actually is. The entire structure is covered in rot and a thick black tar like substance- clearly it has been here some time, and has suffered over the years. Kullervo turns around, indicates to the others that it is safe to approach.

From around the corner Cathal and Ignaran wade forward into the tiny courtyard, the mist clings to their legs and lower bodies.

Ignaran gets half-way and then suddenly stops, the mist is red, or else it has a red tinge to it. He holds out his left hand, swirls it through a thick patch of the fog, brings his hand up to his face to see a greasy red liquid; it looks like blood.

“Careful” the Druid whispers, and moves forward to join his compatriots before the strange statue cum fountain.

The stone basin of the fountain is full to overflowing with filthy water. Towering over the basin is some sort of statue, clearly a thick-set creature, winged perhaps, although…

Cathal moves forward, digs the end of his longsword into the thick black mould-like growth and levers a chunk free - beneath is an intricately shaped and sculpted reddish stone. He prises some more of the filth away, then suddenly realises what it is, or rather who it is, that slumbers beneath the slime.

“Kord save us, that’s…”

CRASH

The Friday Knights spin round, the sound came from behind them, back down the alley. Kullervo gulps- audibly.


[1] The Goose is an information Broker, a Go-Between, a Middle-Man, Mr. 10%- actually it's more likely to be Mr. 50% but don't tell Cathal. His motto, which he whispers to himself on occasion, is “half the reward and none of the risk.” The Goose, it has to be said, gets things done. For instance, if the Shadowmen (the largest Thieves Guild in Fallcrest) wanted the Beggar King permanently taking out of the picture. Then rather than attempt such a task themselves, or even employ a third party directly - and this is only an example mind - they would instead simply employ The Goose to expedite such a trivial matter. The Goose would, of course, have to find a gullible group of wannabe heroes and convince them to complete this incredibly dangerous task for half the original reward, or less. Obviously the above is just an example of the kind of thing the Goose gets up to, a-ha-ha... hm, as I say, just an example - honest.

[2] Pina Collider, a Dwarven Alcopop, made from the flesh, juice, pith - and maybe a little of the rind, of a perfectly ripe pineapple - smushed up with ice, to which is added a heaped spoonful of 'Mama Molasses Sweet Sucre', a twist of lime and a good glug of 'Old Daktari Imported Rum'. Add umbrella and serve. What could be more luscious, more mellow and more fragrant? It's like being kicked in the head by a big man wearing huge fluffy slippers.

[3] The Beggar King, an anonymous and foul smelling individual to whom all beggars, and associated non-tradespeople - the lame, the blind, the cursed and the confounded pay tribute. The Beggar King, it is said, hears every whisper in the city - which may account for the extra guards present at his fortified abode when the Friday Knights come calling - more of this later.
 

Goonalan

Legend
Supporter
The Friday Knights in Sellswords of Fallcrest

Part 8: Astaroth.

The gate?

CRASH

The sound comes again.

It is the gate. It sounds as if some huge monstrosity has just ripped the thing off its hinges, which as it happens, is a fairly accurate description of events. Cathal takes charge - “spread out, into the shadows, ready yourselves.” Ignaran and Kullervo do as they’re told; the Rogue disappears into the impenetrable dark, with added mist for improved hiding. The Druid presses himself against a wet and dirty wall - half-closes his eyes and wishes himself invisible. Cathal draws his sword and heads for the shadow also.

They wait.

Cathal's mind wanders for a second, he's back at home, 112 Dyvers Row; Fallcrest. Fourteen years old, and stood to attention. His father is elsewhere, stalking the half-empty rooms of their broken home. There's a candle burning on top of both of the coffins, mourners crowd around - not speaking, holding their breath - waiting for his father's return, to finish the prayer and say goodbye to his wife, and the son that he adored. Cathal stands as still as a statue, hands pressed so tightly together that they shiver and shake... finally plodding footsteps - his father approaches.

Splashing - footsteps down the alley into the courtyard, and to a halt; a shadowy figure, a monstrous shadowy figure silhouetted briefly, coal coloured skin, as big as a... big.

The creature comes on, towards the hiding places of the three neophyte adventurers, and then on- till it towers before the half-revealed statue.

The man, scratch that - man-mountain, shivers- then unlimbers his Greataxe, part of a sweeping circular motion.

THUNK.

And takes the statue’s head clean off. The stone head splashes into the basin causing a mini tidal wave of foetid stinking water.

“Huh-huh.” Astaroth rumbles, with a voice as deep as the ocean.
Snick.
“Don’t move.” Cathal steps out of the shadows, his longsword before him.
Astaroth turns around, Cathal's blade suddenly looks much too small, not up to the job.
“I said…” Cathal tries.
Astaroth; six feet six, three hundred plus pounds of interlocking plates of solid muscle, over which is strapped and tied, thick black armour. In his hands a greataxe slightly taller than he is, the double-headed blade almost as broad. A giant black man with a swathe of black hair, seemingly cut and styled by a blind woman with a grudge; he looks bored and shrugs a ‘so what’, and leans on his axe [1].

Ignaran steps out of the shadow, the big man looks suitably surprised, although the Friday Knights will later learn that Astaroth is more in need of spectacles than a decent hair cut.
“Who are you?” Ignaran asks, and finds his voice has deepened [2].
“Astaroth.” The big man replies, which tells them nothing.
“Why are you here?” Cathal cuts to the chase.
“Kill bad men, rescue Lady.” [3] Astaroth offers, and rests his greataxe over his shoulder.
The latter manoeuvre causes Ignaran and Cathal to momentarily scatter, or at least duck and dodge a little.
“Which bad men?” Ignaran asks.
“What Lady?” Cathal tries.
“Bad men”, followed by a shrug in the general direction of the Beggar King’s abode. He then goes on, “Lady Constance [4]- real purty, great big money bags.” Astaroth mimes two hefty sacks, “Huh-huh”, he rumbles and grins.
“She in there?” Cathal points to the Beggar King’s den.
Astaroth nods heartily.

Cathal glances at Ignaran, then decides against asking the Druid's opinion. He strides forward - smiling; “then join us, for our duty lies within, we too have business with the Beggar King - join us, together we will rescue your good Lady and bring the Beggar King to justice once and for all.” The offer wavers between a statement and a question. Either way, when he’s done Cathal watches Astaroth’s face intently for any indication of his answer.

“Huh-huh, great big…” Astaroth mimes money bags again, and then nods and grins like a child offered ice cream.
“Good man.” Cathal chucks the huge warrior's arm, solid muscle, biceps as big as his head. “Cathal, Knight Warrior of Kord”, he offers his hand - which is duly crushed in the Astaroth's oversize paw.
“Ignaran”, Ignaran takes his turn, “owww.” He withdraws his hand from the giant's grasp and shakes the feeling back into his throbbing fingers.
“Kullervo”, from the shadows Kullervo whispers, which causes Astaroth to turn on the spot, his axe leaping into his hands. “Ugh”, Astaroth nods at the newly revealed Rogue, “sneaky”, he adds and chuckles a little.
“Door.” Astaroth proclaims, and goes to stride off down the alley.
Kullervo reaches out and grabs at him which, surprisingly, is enough to arrest his progress “what happened at the gate back there?”
“Gate gone. Gone good.” Astaroth shrugs the Druid off and stomps to the half-open door into the Beggar King's lair.

The three remaining Friday Knight share a look.
“It was...” Ignaran begins.
“And locked, and trapped- probably” Kullervo finishes.
Cathal looks after the man-mountain as he heads back the alley to the half-open door.
“I don’t like this” he states, and chews at his beard.


[1] For those familiar with the great works of Thrud the Barbarian, then be prepared, he's back, or at least his latest incarnation is.

[2] A common occurrence - all males, and some females, conversing with Astaroth drop an octave or two, and more often than not find themselves attempting to appear much larger, and especially broader, than they actually are. It's a defence mechanism, the effect is often foiled by the person's body language, and/or facial expressions, which are usually screaming something along the lines of- 'don't eat me- please, I'm chewy... and I don't taste nice.' By-and-large those facing Astaroth spend much of their time concentrating on their legs, which are frantically sending messages to the brain that they want to be elsewhere, and in a hurry.

[3] A typical Astaroth reply, short and punchy.

[4] Lady Anaconda Forsooth Constance, all the Constance girls are named after serpents, Lord Constance, their father, a devout Pelorian believed all women to be the servants of the Dark One and responsible for the fall of man. His death was mourned by few, including his family, in life he was a lying, deceiving, in-bred misogynist; in death he serves as a rather intriguing hat-stand in the Constance residence. Lady Anaconda, the oldest of the girls, is heir to the family fortune.
 

Goonalan

Legend
Supporter
The Friday Knights in Sellswords of Fallcrest

Part 9: The Bazaar of the Bizarre.

“He looks trustworthy enough, not… you know… bright.” Ignaran adds while making sure Astaroth is out of earshot.
“No, that.” Cathal turns and points to the now decapitated statue, beneath the filth and dirt. Sculpted from blood red stone, wings outstretched, the headless demon waits.
“Who is, I mean, was it?” Kullervo asks.
“Orcus, Demon Lord of Undeath.” Cathal firmly states and heads down the alley after Astaroth without a backwards glance.

Leaving the young Rogue alone with Ignaran, the pair stare at the statue of Orcus- a gigantic cloven-hoofed Demon Lord with the head of a Ram, cruel taloned furred wings spread wide and a huge skull topped rod in his hand.

“What's that all about?” Kullervo asks and motions towards the statue.
“Not good.” Ignaran states and turns to leave.
“I thought we were after something valuable- not killing the guy, the Beggar King I mean?” Kullervo asks, his voice strained- slightly desperate, perhaps even afraid.
Which stops Ignaran in his tracks, the Druid doesn't turn around, merely shrugs his shoulders- “I don't know”, he whispers, “I don't know what we're here for anymore.”

The Druid heads after Cathal, leaving Kullervo alone, the red mist spirals and shapes in the air, a trick of the light perhaps. A single strand of the bloody fog reaches out, dances before the Rogue, Kullervo grins, until the hazy tentacle suddenly jerks upwards, like a snake ready to strike.

“Ignaran… Ignaran, wait for me.” Kullervo heads back down the alley at speed, sploshing as he half-runs through the waterlogged courtyard. He looks back but the statue is gone from sight, lost within the coiling mist, but it's still there, he can feel it, it's gaze.

Back in the alley Cathal pushes past Astaroth and toes the door open, and into a shop, of sorts.
“The Bazaar of the Bizarre”, he adds by way of explanation.
“The what?” Ignaran questions.
“It's a shop, all the sh... ahem detritus of life ends up here. It's a Beggar's Shop, a shop... for Beggars.”
“I got that the first time.” Ignaran adds and then wishes he hadn't, Cathal's gaze is withering.
“How do you...” Kullervo starts.
“Born here”, Cathal finishes, “now shut up”, he adds for good measure.

The shadowy chamber ahead is packed to the rafters with junk, the flotsam and jetsam of everyday life. Broken barrels are stacked in the centre of the floor, tatty and half-collapsed boxes and crates line the walls. Strings of silverware, all tarnished- most worn to dull edges, criss-cross the room, like faded streamers. Bundles of cloth; clothes, rags and scraps. Coils of rope, and rusty chain. Stacks of ancient, and rotten looking, spears and staves; broken swords and blades dot the chamber.

On the far side of the cluttered store, to the left, is a curtained opening, unlit beyond; to the right a clearing before a low counter, a lit hallway on the other side.

“Yerv, ad yer fun, nah sling yer 'ook.” Fat Alan, the ex-pie wielding sentry, totters into view, the obese guard swigs from a bottle of “Smashed Eric” [1], thumps it down on the counter and swats his short sword about haphazardly- clearly full to the brim of alcohol-fuelled menace.

Cathal and Astaroth take several steps into the Bazaar, the Warrior nods towards the curtained opening, the man-monster Astaroth covers the distance quickly, his greataxe at the ready.

“Perhaps we could reach some sort of accord, no need for violence?” Cathal approaches, sword still drawn, but trying his very best to look as peaceable as he can.

“I dunno abowt dat.” Fat Alan slurs, then looks behind him for reassurance, clearly he wasn't aware he was going to have a speaking part in the production.
“Get 'em. Get the bastards.” A voice urges and whines- there's someone in the hallway on the other side of the counter, out of sight at the moment.

Astaroth pulls the curtain aside, peers into the gloom. The dirt floor of the small slum chamber ends at the lip of a stinking black pit full of liquid rot and filth, scraps of half-eaten food and worse scattered about the rim. It stinks.

Astaroth nods at Cathal, who gets the message.

“I think what we need...” Cathal begins, covering the last few yards to Fat Alan, all smiles and goodwill; and then as quick as a flash delivers a southpaw hay-maker to the side of Fat Alan's head. The fat guard slams his hip into the counter and concertinas to the floor.

“Ooo ya fu...”

But Cathal is far from done, his longsword lances out and down- hard and fast, piercing Fat Alan's flimsy and ragged leather jerkin. Stabbing straight through his chest and out the other side. In the process puncturing, slicing and skewering all manner of important organs and vessels.

Fat Alan gurgles a little, and lies still forever.

“Shop.” Cathal approaches and bangs the pommel of his sword on the counter, beyond is a short hallway leading to a flight of stairs, at the top of which is another curtained exit; to the right of the stairs an open doorway, around which a hooded snivelling little man peers, a dark twisted dagger before him.

Cathal smiles at the runt of a thief, while behind him Ignaran and Kullervo move up into the Bazaar.

The man, Arthuro the Fence [2], looks terrified, and then some thing, some... thought wings its way into his addled brain, he smiles back at Cathal revealing his four good teeth and his many not-so-good gnashers. Then at the top of his lungs he yells, “TIMMY!”

The response is instantaneous. Back in the curtained alcove, at which Astaroth still stands, the pit suddenly explodes liquid filth, literally a shower of :):):):), and from the dark recesses of the dank gloom emerges a many-tentacled horror...

Timmy.


[1] 'Smashed Eric', the scumbag's guzzle. Smashed Eric is a potato-based spirit that with time will send a drinker blind and mad. It's named after... well, Smashed Eric, a wild tramp with the fortitude of an ox, who swears by the stuff. Bottle fed on the foul brew from the age of seven; Smashed Eric is to be found staggering at odd times around the wharves of Fallcrest, for every ten bottles he sells he gets one free. On a good day he sells ten bottles, on a bad day- twenty.

[2] Arthuro Ignatius Riptorn the 3rd; the third generation of his family to occupy the position of shopkeeper at the Bazaar of the Bizarre. A weasely man whose clothes and soul are stained by a patina of filth. In truth Arthuro had no intention of following his old man into the family business, he had his heart set on becoming a barber, or perhaps a hair stylist. Alas fate, and his father, had other ideas. This travesty set back the barbering business by twenty years, for in Arthuro's possession is an invention that would revolutionise the hair care industry in an instant. A simple device, like a pair of very blunt and flat-bladed scissors, the ends of which are designed to be heated in order to tame unkempt and uncultivated locks. He calls his invention the “Arthuro Ignatius Riptorn Straighteners” which, if fate had played its hand differently, would have been shortened, by the marketing men, to “AIR straighteners”, and thus an entire industry silently suffers- such is fickle fate’s whim.
 
Last edited:

Goonalan

Legend
Supporter
The Friday Knights in Sellswords of Fallcrest

Part 10: TIMMY!

Timmy rises from the deep, a six foot diameter ball of undulating rubbery flesh, wrapped in a hardened skin of crusted :):):):) and stink. Two slithering clawed and hooked tentacles either side of a shorter eye stalk that snakes into the air. In the centre of the furious ball a gaping maw full of seemingly randomly spaced jagged broken teeth.

Timmy gapes and slobbers, biting at the foetid air...

“Timm-ahh.” the Otyugh gasps, followed by a thunderous rasping farting sound, with prolonged squelches, bellows and gurgles for accompaniment.

The two tentacles lurch and flail forward, set to grasp an unmoving Astaroth who gawps.

“-”

Meanwhile Arthuro the Fence, the weasel-faced Rogue in the hallway, flips the dagger in his hand and lets it fly- a direct hit. The blade bites into a join in Cathal's armour, cuts deep and instantly produces a slick of blood from just below the Warrior’s right armpit. An instant later the dagger disappears, leaving behind a gaping wound, and reappears in Arthuro's open hand. The frustrated hairdresser grins- the effect spoiled slightly when one of his good teeth makes a break for freedom and falls out onto the floor.

“GAWRDS.” Arthuro grunts loudly, and holding his now bloody mouth backs through the doorway and out of sight.

At the top of the stairs the hessian sack curtain is roughly pulled aside and a pair of leather armoured squinting idiots hot-foot it at a rush- a headlong charge down the stairs to reach Cathal. The pair of in-bred attackers are Dog Brothers [1], that is members of the Dog Brother gang. Their armour adorned with the ripped and sliced hides of a myriad mangy hounds that have met their maker at the pair’s hands, and blades. They're street fighters, cruel and indiscriminating- blood is their bounty, whose blood at the behest of the highest bidder.

The Friday Knights are for it, 'caught in a trap' like the song says [2].

Or so it seems...

The first to react is Kullervo who springs forward lightning fast onto the low counter, it bows a little but takes his weight. A dagger spins out of his hand and buries itself in the first Dog Brother- Snarl's fleshy thigh, he screams and clutches at the spot, and then in panic attempts foolishly to retreat back the way he came making yapping sounds.

Which doesn't work at all. The two Dog Brothers slam into each other- one full speed ahead, the other, Growl, in quick reverse, the pair stumble and tumble onto the stairs and end in a tangled mess.

Cathal sees his opportunity, strides over to the chaotic multi-limbed pile-up and slashes hard with his longsword, cleaving into one flailing arm and one flailing leg, screams all round from the bloody pile.

The Warrior grins.

Ignaran is also not idle, his wolf friend appears again, this time in the doorway through which Arthuro the Fence retreated. The ferocious canid growls, clearly it spots its prey. The Druid is quickly to its side.

“Sick 'em Wolfie.”

Ignaran points at the retreating Fence and grins. Wolfie scampers forward and is at full pelt by the time it smashes and tears into a terrified Arthuro. He's bitten badly, and mauled a little for good measure, he spills his dagger.

“Hewp me! IROWCAR...” Arthuro screams falsetto, like a pig-tailed six year old. Wolfie has found his grip, it's in the region of the Fence's groin.

Ignaran spies out the ill lit chamber ahead, some sort of office, complete with a creaking wooden desk overflowing with scrolls and rolls of parchment, spilled and solidified inkpots, and piles and scattered piles of copper coins. Another curtained doorway leads, it seems, into a darkened chamber beyond.

“EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEERRRRRRKKKKK-fart.”

The fluctuating flatulent scream is almost enough to bring a halt to the proceedings.

Back in the smaller slum chamber Astaroth recovers his greataxe, rips it from the flabby folds of flensed flesh - a gaping gorge in Timmy's side - almost enough to sever the right tentacle at its root. Astaroth hoists his axe high again, and readies for another swing.

The flopping Otyugh can do nothing but aimlessly lash out with its one good tentacle, which Astaroth easily ducks. A chunk of mouldy plaster from the door frame splats to the mud-bath floor, and is sucked beneath the ooze.

“TIMM-EEE.” Astaroth parrots and rumbles, “funny...”

And buries his axe in the floundering aberration's brain.

Silence for a heart beat.

“Jim-AH. JIM. JimJimJim- JIM-AH?” The Otyugh tries, and with its good tentacle prods and feels the opening in its formerly air-tight brain cavity. A slick of grey goo gloops and pulses from the wound.

“Jiiiimm.”

Gurgle-gurgle-Blooop.

“-ah.”

Timmy finally whispers and sinks back down into the bubbling pit of filth, from whence he came.



[1] The Dog Brothers in action are “Growl” & “Snarl”, as with all of the members of the gang they have no fear of head injuries.

[2] 'Caught in a trap', a lyric from the popular tune 'Suspicious Finds' performed in most, if not all, of the less discerning watering holes in Fallcrest by the beat combo Fine Young Animals- formerly a very minor street gang. The song goes-

'I'm caught in a trap
I can't walk now
Because my leg is caught inside.

Why can't you see
What it's doin' to me?
Why didn't you find it, is what I'm sayin'?'

The Fine Young Animals gave up their lives of crime and wastrel ways when their leader was, well... caught in a trap, said leader survived just long enough to kill the gangs rogue, for not finding the trap. The remaining three members of the gang took to the stage.
 

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