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The Friendly Travels of Kamakawiwo, Native of the Islands (Updated November 25, 2006)
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<blockquote data-quote="Altalazar" data-source="post: 2919904" data-attributes="member: 939"><p>Kamakawiwo – Chapter Nineteen – Rooms, and Doors, and Monsters, Oh Maki!</p><p></p><p> I so miss the sparkling light of the sun through the lush green trees and the fresh, crisp air wafted inland from the kai beyond. This dark, dank, wet place has nothing to offer but death, but my Kuipo would want me to press on, so I do. Kamakawiwo knows the path to heaven is not lined with green trees and juicy bakua fruits. </p><p> So many turns blend together into a mash, like a good bakua-floyt salad at the summer festival. Akowa-Ke would look at a door, open it, and then either we would find the remains of slain beasts or we would create them as they came out and foolishly threw themselves against Kamakawiwo’s great bulk. </p><p> On the bakua side, we did find a single, lonely survivor of the group we were sent to find. He was alone and afraid in the dark and I gave him a big hug after I pried him off of my massive leg, which he somehow managed to get his tiny, skinny arms around when we entered his chamber. But I was sad to find that two of his friends had passed on to the next island world and two others were missing. The missing two sunk into some morass in the floor that reminded me of one of my more favorite desserts my mother used to make for me. Oh how I missed my makuahine’s cooking. And my makuahine. It was apparent the gnome’s makuahine never fed him well. I offered him half of my bakua fruit. He eagerly ate it down. </p><p> One of his fallen companions had something incredible I had never seen before. A shell of pure metal that covered him from head to toe! My makuahine taught me never to pass up a chance to better myself or help others. I doffed my shell of coral and squeezed into this shell of metal, silently vowing to honor the fallen one’s memory by vanquishing bullies in his name whilst I wore his shell. His name would be added to mine in the hall of anti-bullies up on the slopes of Mana Ulu. </p><p> Some more rooms and doors of little import later, we came upon a strange room, chilly like the kai makani after a storm, containing two creatures who were cold themselves. They said they could not leave, it was too hot for them. We offered to help find their former master, with the hopes that they could be returned to their chilly home. I hoped that they would last until we found this man. It seemed so unjust for him to take them from their home and put them here. What if they had little ones of their own? What if those little ones watched them leave in a small, chilly fishing boat one day and then never saw them return? We had to find a way to help them. </p><p> </p><p> Kamakawiwo – Chapter Twenty – Corridor of Undeath</p><p></p><p> More turns and twists and we found a long hall filled with small cells, built just for bullies to contemplate their bullying. A skeletal former-bully occupied each cell while four more fleshy former bully-guards occupied the hall outside the cells. Akowa-ke stepped forward, found keys on the former bully-guards and opened a cell, only to find all of them, fleshy and non-fleshy alike to spring to their bony, decaying feet and face us in one last combat. Akowa-ke, thinking fast, as he often does, filled the long hall and cells with sticky webs, holding them all fast. Kai’lei held forth her symbol of holiness and several of the skeletal bullies returned to dust while the fleshy ones ran. </p><p> I stepped forward and introduced my bully-stick to the land of the dead, sending them back into the bully-abyss from which they sprang, aided in my lesson by the burning of the webs and the further dusting of the corpses by Kai’lei. </p><p> Our duty done, we returned to the cares of the living, and headed further down a hallway that seemed to go on without end. Akowa-ke found a large pit by falling into it, and then spiked it open so we could all pass safely over it. That is where we ran into even bigger bullies. </p><p></p><p> Kamakawiwo – Chapter Twenty-One – Bully Barricades and Bashed Brains</p><p></p><p> Around the corner of this hall we found a large room with barricades of tables and debris built up to hide the bully-goblins I remembered so well from the farm. Except these bully-goblins seemed not to have met the goblin I freed to dissuade them from their bully ways. They took many many swings of my bully-stick to clear them from their bullying ways. Talar and I stepped into the room and found ourselves nearly surrounded by them all, seven in total, I think there were, and Talar was slowly whittled down until he lay at my feet, leaving me surrounded by the remaining four bullies. </p><p> I would have been worried, but I can never let bullies get away with their bullying ways, or else who would stop them from harming others? I thought of my makua kane, missing so long. I thought of my makuahine, her cooking still fresh in the flesh on my bones, and then wound up my arm wide. With one long, sweeping swing, I smashed my tiki-stick into the jaw of one bully, picking him up and smashing his head into the head of the bully standing next to him, and then smashing both of their heads into the hard stone wall beside me, caving in both of their skulls and popping out their brains like a too-fresh bakua fruit that has been left sitting in the sun too long and then is accidentally stepped on by Kamakawiwo’s large foot. The remaining two bullies took one look at the nearly headless corpses as they slid down the wall, then they took a look at my tiki-stick, still dripping with their meaty flesh, and then turned and ran away as fast as their little goblin feet could take them. </p><p> My friends were in disarray behind me, healing and mending their various wounds, picking themselves up from the dank floor while I charged forward, around another corner into another room, this one with six collared large rats waiting. The goblin-bullies ran through the doors and left the rats to Kamakawiwo. I had no trouble smashing their large rat-skulls one by one, with Kai’lei’s bow aiding me where she could. </p><p> I looked at the door of the goblin-bullies ahead, but then paused. I should wait for my companions. Now was the time to write down all that had happened and when I was done, my friends would be ready to go forward to continue our bully-lessons. With any luck, the two bullies who ran were already educating any other bully-friends of the errors of their ways. My Kuipo would be proud!</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Altalazar, post: 2919904, member: 939"] Kamakawiwo – Chapter Nineteen – Rooms, and Doors, and Monsters, Oh Maki! I so miss the sparkling light of the sun through the lush green trees and the fresh, crisp air wafted inland from the kai beyond. This dark, dank, wet place has nothing to offer but death, but my Kuipo would want me to press on, so I do. Kamakawiwo knows the path to heaven is not lined with green trees and juicy bakua fruits. So many turns blend together into a mash, like a good bakua-floyt salad at the summer festival. Akowa-Ke would look at a door, open it, and then either we would find the remains of slain beasts or we would create them as they came out and foolishly threw themselves against Kamakawiwo’s great bulk. On the bakua side, we did find a single, lonely survivor of the group we were sent to find. He was alone and afraid in the dark and I gave him a big hug after I pried him off of my massive leg, which he somehow managed to get his tiny, skinny arms around when we entered his chamber. But I was sad to find that two of his friends had passed on to the next island world and two others were missing. The missing two sunk into some morass in the floor that reminded me of one of my more favorite desserts my mother used to make for me. Oh how I missed my makuahine’s cooking. And my makuahine. It was apparent the gnome’s makuahine never fed him well. I offered him half of my bakua fruit. He eagerly ate it down. One of his fallen companions had something incredible I had never seen before. A shell of pure metal that covered him from head to toe! My makuahine taught me never to pass up a chance to better myself or help others. I doffed my shell of coral and squeezed into this shell of metal, silently vowing to honor the fallen one’s memory by vanquishing bullies in his name whilst I wore his shell. His name would be added to mine in the hall of anti-bullies up on the slopes of Mana Ulu. Some more rooms and doors of little import later, we came upon a strange room, chilly like the kai makani after a storm, containing two creatures who were cold themselves. They said they could not leave, it was too hot for them. We offered to help find their former master, with the hopes that they could be returned to their chilly home. I hoped that they would last until we found this man. It seemed so unjust for him to take them from their home and put them here. What if they had little ones of their own? What if those little ones watched them leave in a small, chilly fishing boat one day and then never saw them return? We had to find a way to help them. Kamakawiwo – Chapter Twenty – Corridor of Undeath More turns and twists and we found a long hall filled with small cells, built just for bullies to contemplate their bullying. A skeletal former-bully occupied each cell while four more fleshy former bully-guards occupied the hall outside the cells. Akowa-ke stepped forward, found keys on the former bully-guards and opened a cell, only to find all of them, fleshy and non-fleshy alike to spring to their bony, decaying feet and face us in one last combat. Akowa-ke, thinking fast, as he often does, filled the long hall and cells with sticky webs, holding them all fast. Kai’lei held forth her symbol of holiness and several of the skeletal bullies returned to dust while the fleshy ones ran. I stepped forward and introduced my bully-stick to the land of the dead, sending them back into the bully-abyss from which they sprang, aided in my lesson by the burning of the webs and the further dusting of the corpses by Kai’lei. Our duty done, we returned to the cares of the living, and headed further down a hallway that seemed to go on without end. Akowa-ke found a large pit by falling into it, and then spiked it open so we could all pass safely over it. That is where we ran into even bigger bullies. Kamakawiwo – Chapter Twenty-One – Bully Barricades and Bashed Brains Around the corner of this hall we found a large room with barricades of tables and debris built up to hide the bully-goblins I remembered so well from the farm. Except these bully-goblins seemed not to have met the goblin I freed to dissuade them from their bully ways. They took many many swings of my bully-stick to clear them from their bullying ways. Talar and I stepped into the room and found ourselves nearly surrounded by them all, seven in total, I think there were, and Talar was slowly whittled down until he lay at my feet, leaving me surrounded by the remaining four bullies. I would have been worried, but I can never let bullies get away with their bullying ways, or else who would stop them from harming others? I thought of my makua kane, missing so long. I thought of my makuahine, her cooking still fresh in the flesh on my bones, and then wound up my arm wide. With one long, sweeping swing, I smashed my tiki-stick into the jaw of one bully, picking him up and smashing his head into the head of the bully standing next to him, and then smashing both of their heads into the hard stone wall beside me, caving in both of their skulls and popping out their brains like a too-fresh bakua fruit that has been left sitting in the sun too long and then is accidentally stepped on by Kamakawiwo’s large foot. The remaining two bullies took one look at the nearly headless corpses as they slid down the wall, then they took a look at my tiki-stick, still dripping with their meaty flesh, and then turned and ran away as fast as their little goblin feet could take them. My friends were in disarray behind me, healing and mending their various wounds, picking themselves up from the dank floor while I charged forward, around another corner into another room, this one with six collared large rats waiting. The goblin-bullies ran through the doors and left the rats to Kamakawiwo. I had no trouble smashing their large rat-skulls one by one, with Kai’lei’s bow aiding me where she could. I looked at the door of the goblin-bullies ahead, but then paused. I should wait for my companions. Now was the time to write down all that had happened and when I was done, my friends would be ready to go forward to continue our bully-lessons. With any luck, the two bullies who ran were already educating any other bully-friends of the errors of their ways. My Kuipo would be proud! [/QUOTE]
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The Friendly Travels of Kamakawiwo, Native of the Islands (Updated November 25, 2006)
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