The one night stand culture

[Dannyalcatraz]

I'd have to agree with the others, that America's got some issues with respect to sexuality.

EVERY country has got some issues with respect to sexuality.

 

[Umbran]

EVERY country has got some issues with respect to sexuality.

No argument there. I just wanted to be clear that my saying, "we probably shouldn't use absolutes" to be conflated with, "This isn't a problem in the USA".

It is honestly no surprise that we (meaning humans, now) have issues with the subject. It has been (and still is, in many places) tied to procreation, which is about as important as it gets for a species. What we gain in flexibility, we have to pay for in working through complexity.

 

[Janx]

As an example, I'll refer to what I mentioned above. There seems to be an implication in this thread that, if you set aside STDs and pregnancy, there are *no* negative consequences to casual intimate relations between consenting, informed adults. But, as I noted, for some folks this can lead to depression - not because they are "repressed", but for solid neurobiological reasons. The implied absolute ("all people would be okay if they were promiscuous") is not true.

I would agree with that. We have girls now that don't feel good about themselves after a one night stand because they feel cheap and used by the guy.

The stereotype being, girls falls for guy, thinks he's into her, but he only sticks around for the one night. result = hurt feelings.

Now if Girl A is just into a one night stand with the guy, she's probably going to be fine. But Girl B wasn't doing it as a recreational activity. And for a lot of people, it is not just a recreational activity.

 

[Bullgrit]

Politicians in Italy don't get condemned for their sex lives; France doesn't have a big Bible Belt condemning a whole demographic based on their sexuality; Amsterdam has sex workers acting legally and safely; basic public broadcast TV (i.e. not cable and the like) in the UK has plenty of breasts and sex and the like, and that's pretty tame compared to the rest of Europe.

Do UK politicians occasionally get into trouble for their sex lives? Does the UK have a group that’s against homosexuality? Does the UK have general legal prostitution? Does UK public TV regularly show breast nipples, full frontal nudity, actual sex acts?

(Curious: Did the UK release of The Full Monty actually show the full Monty of the main characters at the end, on stage? The version I saw here in the US did not show it, just their backsides.)

The more I sit here and think about it, I keep thinking of more and more examples of public sexuality in the US. There’s sexuality freakin’ everywhere.

• comprehensive sex education – Some people don’t want such taught by the government.

• topless or nudist beaches and other areas – We got those in plenty in the US. There are at least two nudie clubs in my city that I know of, and I’ve never searched.

• the amount of sexual content on freely available television – Lots of sexuality on TV.

• legal or decriminalized prostitution – Don’t have this.

• attitudes of voters or media regarding the sex lives of politicians – Politicians who are involved in “sex scandals” still often get re-elected, so it doesn’t bother most people. (Also, it’s not about their sex lives, it’s usually about affairs, prostitution, and/or misuse of government resources. But the media can get more attention with “sex” stories.)

• pro-gay legislation – “Pro-gay”? Do you actually mean, “non-anti-gay”?

• age of sexual consent – 18 isn’t young enough?

• controversies regarding topic like abortion, rape, and other issues – That’s not sexuality.

• freely available contraception – Contraception is fully available all around.

• the need to fetishise, ritualise, or label normal sexual behaviour or culture (your own use of the term "one night stand culture" being an example of that) – I’m part of the married culture, and the parent culture, and Southern culture, the gamer culture, the ENWorld culture, etc. Identifying something as a culture doesn’t mean it’s labeled as out of the normal behavior.

Bullgrit

 

[Dannyalcatraz]

legal or decriminalized prostitution – Don’t have this.

Actually, we do in the counties surrounding Las Vegas, Nevada...though not in Vegas itself, it should be noted.

 

[Bullgrit]

EVERY country has got some issues with respect to sexuality.

Like I said earlier, just because Saturn is smaller than Jupiter doesn't mean Saturn is a small planet. If Europe is Jupiter with sexuality, and America is Saturn, (or even Neptune*), doesn't mean America is a small planet of sexuality. No one would put Saturn in the size catagory with Mercury.

Bullgrit

*Avoiding the obvious joke.

 

[Kramodlog]

I would agree with that. We have girls now that don't feel good about themselves after a one night stand because they feel cheap and used by the guy.

But does she feel used and cheap because of the negative view of the sexuality of women a lot of cultures have and a lot of women internalize?

Your post is a good example of this everyday sexism. Women are presented as victims when it comes to sexuality, like they can't enjoy it on a pure recreational level, that men are generally predators and women need a bit of protection from us (cause they can't protect themselves or make the right decision).

 

[Bullgrit]

Actually, we do in the counties surrounding Las Vegas, Nevada...though not in Vegas itself, it should be noted.

Yeah, I know. But I didn't want to use that one example as others here use single instances to suggest that America is fine with prostitution.

Bullgrit

 

[Kramodlog]

• age of sexual consent – 18 isn’t young enough?

The body is ready for sexual intercourse at a younger age (generally) and sexual urges pop up earlier than that.

• controversies regarding topic like abortion, rape, and other issues – That’s not sexuality.

It's not!?

 

[tomBitonti]

Two quick points ...

Not sure if contraception is freely available. Certainly, you can get it in drug stores, sure, but there is push back, for example, to condom distribution programs, and there are issues with insurance and contraceptives. Questions, too, about what a guidance councilor is to do when asked questions about sexuality and/or contraceptives.

About safety in New York ... what I thought I read somewhere was that a part of the bias is to neglect the lack of safety elsewhere. Not that New York should be thought of as safer, but that other places that don't have the reputation for being unsafe, are quite unsafe.

Thx!

TomB