The Order of Initiative in: "Just a Simple Escort"

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Background: Herein is our gaming groups Adventure Log. We play a game similar to PbM, but we use the Klooge software. Players Log in and "Leave" thier turns. All text is recorded via the chat screen.

Warning: Some of the text is rather "fruity"

THE CHARACTERS​

COLERIDGE (4TH Lvl Human Bard)

Aged 25, standing approximately 5' 8" tall Coleridge is fairly slight in build. His appearance is somewhat unkempt and garish with what armour he has being a mish-mash of what he has been able to gather over the years, being of different colours and styles. He has a scar sweepin down over his left eyebrow.

SPARHAWK (4th Lvl Human Fighter)

Sparhawk, Is a man of middle years, a tall imposing man, of obviously military upbringing. His hair and beard both well trimmed and beginning to grey, his eyes steel blue and as sharp as a hawks. Obviously his nose has been broken at some point and not reset straight

POACHER (4th Lvl Human Ranger)

Poacher was a distinctly rustic air to him. But mostly he just stinks of . His tattered doublet and hose look like they've seen better days. In fact they look like they've seen better decades. His threadbare cloak is patched in several places and looks like it has recently been dipped into a puddle of mud. His boots are miss matched and are laced with bits of old baling twine.
His long matted and greasey hair hangs lank about his scruffy, unshaven face. His dark, deep set eyes have a suspicious look and appear to constantly be looking about, never resting in their endless watchfulness. Watching for what appears undecernable. Poachers thin cracked lips hide a maw filled with broken, blackened uneven teeth. A flattering person who was having an unusually charitable moment would describe Poachers features as unfavourable. A normal person may describe him one ugly motherer.
The only favourable thing to be said about Poacher on first impressions appears to be the obvious care that he seems to have taken with the Long composite bow stave that he constantly carries unknocked in his left hand. Also noting that as his eyes dance nervously about the room his index and second finger on this right hand appear to twitch compulsively. As if those twitching digits were even now sending imaginary shafts into unsuspecting prey.

FENG (3rd Lvl Half-Orc Barbarian)

Was a prisoner of the Zhentarim. Released with a bit of help from the others


LIMARA (4th Lvl Female Human Cleric)

She wears her mithral chainshirt under a low-cut crimson red robe, which has a thigh-high split on the sides, revealing either tight-cut red leather three-quarter trousers or red stockings. Her red and black squared leather knee-high 'chequerboard' boots match her elbow length leather gauntlets. All this comes wrapped in a Red Knight cloak!!

BELTAIN (3rd Lvl Human Cleric)

Beltain came from the hinterland of Waterdeep high on the hills overlooking the great city. His father was a human but his mother a half-elf. His family was wiped out but a raid (orcs/drow/zents who knows) and he was rescued from the ruins of his house with his sister. He sustained major scarring to his face and back when the raiders set the hut on fire but the scars to his mind are worse. He hates those who prey on outlying homesteads but does not empathize with those who dwell in them unless they are prepared to take up arms to protect what is theirs.
He and his sister were found by elves (and they took him to live with his elven relations) where he was named Beluthian Thainor (Shortened to Beltain when amongst humans) and he spent almost all of his adult life with the elves in the High Forest. He thinks of himself an elf but knows he is not - really. As an "elven" cleric he was not a success as his hatred was at odds with the worshipers of Corellon Larethian and so he set out to take the word in the lower lands of Forgotten Realms. He usually wears a helmet, partly to hide his badly scarred face.

RIZZIT (4TH Lvl Kobold Sorcerer)

Talkative, inquisitive kobold outcast. Was a prisoner of the Zhentarim.

NOSNIBOR THE WIZARD (4th Lvl Elf Wizard)

A very tall and gaunt elf with short brown hair and strangely unfocusing yellow eyes, his surprisingly large and pointy ears (even for an elf) are stuffed bulgingly under the woolly Bobble hat that is pulled tightly over his slightly too large head. His face, though obviously young in elven terms, is creased with laughter lines around the eyes, and with the dazzling smile that that almost constantly adorns his features. ​

BIBABOBALOBALOS (4th Lvl Dwarven Rogue)

ELINOR (5th Lvl Human Paladin)

 

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CHAPTER 2.............

ASHABENFORD
The party arrives back in Ashabenford after its adventures in Galaths Roost (Now thats another story)
Limara and Sparhawk take Beltain and Feng's corpses to the Temple of Tyr. 12,000gp is paid and both are brought back to life.
Mozart and Inialos are buried in the town cemetery.
Poacher yet again makes the news and is arrested and jailed for a few weeks. Whilst in jail the ranger is befriended by a dog, a mangy Pitbull.
Poacher names him Bullseye.
The party train. Limara, Poacher, Sparhawk and Rizzit increasing in levels.
The party loses contact with Arzan and Wheatcutter, who have either left town, or have chosen not to rejoin the party.
Beltain spends time practicing his Herbalism skills with the locals.
Several of the group spend time getting their pets and mounts trained..
6 weeks goes by.

Time of Day: 11:00 AM. - Clear Day 19, Nightal (The Drawing Down) 19th, 1372 The Year of Wild Magic.

The party decides that they will escort Walter and Deirdre to Suzail. Walter has offered 300gp each, some of the party scoff at the reward, but agree anyway. They set off.....

 

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TRAVELLING TO SUZAIL
The party begin traveling....Walter says out loud "Its about 160 miles to Tilverton, a tendays travel. We will first pass the destroyed villages of Mistlebrook and Mistletarn. Both destroyed in Drow raids several months ago. Then we pass Peldan's Helm, a small village, never been there myself mind"
Beltain keeps his place in the party order, waiting for a suggestion from one of the party leaders. He watches the foliage to his side of the road for signs of ambush. He urges his horse forward slightly so that he can see how Limara fares.
Poacher takes up a point position and keep an eye out for possible problems ahead. Specifically watching out for ambushes and such. Unfortunately his stench seems to waft back to those directly behind him.
Feng grins showing a slobbery fang "So Deirdre, how did a lovely girl like yourself end up in a Zhent prison?" He continues "Are you married, ah... Betrothed and is your Daddy rich?. I’m a mighty warrior - ever seen muscles this big?"
Deirdre replies to Feng "The wagon train i was on was attacked by zhents....erm, no, im not married.." she leans away from Feng, looking visibly disgusted "So...did they fix yer...um...small problem?" she says looking at the Half-Orcs crotch area.
Rizzit says to Coleridge "Sing us a song as we ride Col, something to keep spirits up and attract every monster for miles to us"
Limara looks around as she rides keeping a keen eye on the surroundings. She notices a butterfly that seems to be fluttering around near the party.
The paranoid cleric cast a detect magic spell on the butterfly...it does not detect as magical!!!.
Poacher briefly looks back at the rest of the party. He briefly shakes his head and mouths a word that appears to be something like the word "Tanker" before getting back to scouting out the path ahead.


ATTACK OF THE BROWN BEAR.
Suddenly, From behind one of the trees comes into view a Brown Bear...It snarls at the party....
"Poacher.... you any good at skinning bears? " shouts Limara as she sees the bear advance.
"If you eat their heart you gain their strength I heard" says Rizzit.
"err, who told you that ?" says Limara
"A guy at the bar i think" replies the kobold
Limara shakes her head. "..Don’t think its true somehow.... you can try if you want"
"Sounded believable to me" nods Rizzit.
Limara suddenly shouts and points at Rizzit’s back " AAAAHHH, ...Rizzit your backs on fire !!!!"
Limara laughs "..see, sounded convincing.....but not true... you see for every truth there is a lie, for every fact there is a falsehood. Look further into the idea, if eating a bears heart made you stronger, then why aren’t there hundreds of trainee fighters and barbarians running round out here slaughtering them all ??... Therefore the bear heart idea is looking less likely now... see ?"
Rizzit smiles "Had my back been on fire i would have had no concern, i fear not the heat of flames with the blood of my ancestors coursing through my veins"
Feng snarls at Limara "My people eat the hearts of braves that they defeat - why is it so difficult to believe?"
Rizzit smiles "See, if Feng agrees then it must be true"
Feng nods.
Poacher looks at Feng "When you say ‘People’, can i presume you mean Hairy arsed Barbarians? Bears are part of the natural world. And as such should be mercilessly eradicated and then hung on some rich ers wall. Kekeke"
Beltain is jerked into wakefulness by the sound of the party preparing for battle. He scans the road ahead and to the sides looking for more of the bears.
Feng snarls again "Look, Its a ing BEAR! Leave it alone, and it will leave us alone - OK? What has this got to do with escorting Mr. Moneybags over there - did we sign up for a Safari?. Beltain - have you told these Jokers about the Fugue?, Have you told them about what is to come after?". Feng shakes his head.
Beltain replies, "The Fugue was just a path to a place in god's domain. I was more worried about those I left behind - not somewhere I'd want to stay, I was approached by a ... well I would rather not dwell on that but it was very unpleasant----"
Limara interjects "The fugue is a safe place for all those who have a god... as long as you avoid the, baatezu but they cant harm you,...... its just a bit morbid as all, looking at all those nonbelievers sealed in a wall for eternity.... mind you, ive only read about it, when you are there I’m sure its a most unnerving experience"
Coleridge says from the back of his mount "I see no reason to attack this noble creature unless it decides to attack us, you others may seek your sport with it if you choose, but all your doing is causing a gradual decline in these magnificent beasts who have a much slower reproductive pattern than us, and thus speeding them towards extinction and reducing our own amount of work and usefulness on expeditions like this."
Rizzit moves his hands in arcane patterns and two missile of magical energy scream toward the bear and impact causing it (9) damage.
Poacher fires his bow from the back of Buttercup his horse. He barely scrapes the bear for (2) damage. "Weeee. Another ing spectacular hit."
Beltain dismounts and runs forward toward the bear.
Rizzit looks round and sees Feng standing, not moving, by the cart "wow never thought i would see Feng scared of a fight"
Beltain shouts Feng "The bear is a hazard to travelers and other denizens of this woodland. Let us convert it to a fireside rug and proceed..."
Sparhawk slams down his visor and kicks his heels into Faran’s flanks setting his lance as his trusty steed charges at his target. He hits the bear hard in the chest, the lance wounding the bear badly for (30) damage.
"Wow, says Beltain" Extremely impressed by the massive damage inflicted by the mounted knight. "Superb hit Sir Sparhawk!"
"Fantastic hit Spar, you the man" claps Rizzit.
Limara shoots her light Crossbow and also scrapes the bear for (2) damage.
The bear takes a 5ft step and attacks Sparhawk. It hits the warrior with one of its claws for (15) damage.
"Don’t worry Spar I will finish him off before he can hurt you again" shouts Rizzit from the back of Beaker.
Coleridge sighs "I feel no need to sing or revel in the needless harm of this great beast, but i will try to aid inputting it out of its misery now that you have injured it so". He raises his Heavy Crossbow and fires. The bolt misses the critically injured Bear. "Alas too much time performing my musical arts and not enough practice with my crossbow, someone else relieve this creature of its last vestiges of life and release it from its painful torment"
Rizzit once again releases to magic missiles. They unerringly hit the Bear for (8) damage. The bear is badly wounded and barely able to stand.
Rizzit pulls on Beakers reigns and the Axebeak moves toward the bear at great speed. The Axebeak attacks the bear, its sharp beak sinking into the bears flesh. The bear lets out one final howl before it collapses to the floor...
Rizzit looks at Sparhawk "I hope that goes someway to proving my worth to you again Sparhawk"
Poacher walks over to the dead bear "Guys you want me to skin this er? It'll look good as a rug if i skin it right. Someone make a cup of tea and some lunch. It won't take me long."
Poacher ineptly starts to hack the bear’s skin up. When he is only about a third of the way through and appears to be removing the skin in 4 or 5 messy lumps he starts to swear at himself and gives up. Covered in gore the ranger gets back on his Horse. "ing . I'm out of ing practice."
The party look at Walters map and discuss where to go next.
"I am happy for Sparhawk and Limara to agree the parties route" says Beltain.
"I would like to have a quick check of the villages" says Rizzit.
Coleridge turns to Walter "Walter how long ago was it that Mistlebrook and Mistletarn fell to the Drow?...I see little point investigating them if they are but empty husks which have been left abandoned for some time, unless we have reason to believe the Drow would have returned there for some reason. It may be useful to check on the Abbey or Peldan's Helm to check they have not also fallen to drow attacks since the road was last traveled such information would be of great use to other travelers and the nearby towns/cities"
Sparhawk nods "I concur Coleridge, there is little point in checking abandoned villages at this time methinks, our mission is one of escort."
Walter replies to the bard "Mistlebrook and Mistletarn fell approximately 2 months ago...Drow, so the rumors say"
Feng sighs "It really doesn’t matter which way we go - we will all end up in the same place eventually. Coleridge - you know of any heroic tales that might inspire me? I really need some inspiration at the moment."
Sparhawk looks at the map a while "Looking at this map, we can strike out due east from here check the abbey and Peldan’s Helm and pick up the Moonsea Ride south from there neighbors, let us head on"
The party move out..


THE ABBEY OF THE GOLDEN SHEAF
The party travel to The Abbey of the Golden Sheaf. This prosperous religious hold is dedicated to the worship of Chauntea Grainmother.
The abbey is very impressive. It is rare to see such fertility in a single holding this small. The party is told they cannot enter the Abbey and decide to pitch camp nearby for the night. In the morning they will travel to the small village of Peldan's Helm.
The monks at the Abbey offer the party refreshments and they talk with the party a while.
Rizzit begins camping down for the night. He grumbles "To be honest i would prefer if we traveled at night and rested during the day. I don’t really like the daylight"
Limara says bluntly "No one else except you and Feng can see at night, it would be a tactical disadvantage for the party to travel at night""
"Rizzit.... if you wish to travel in the dark, join the Drow...we move in the light!" states Sparhawk.
It is beginning to get dark, and chilly...Winter is certainly here..
Limara cures Sparhawk of his wounds from the Bear attack.
Poacher starts ranting about the monks at the Abbey. "Do you reckon those monks are all stabbers? I don’t know. A load of blokes living together at such close quarters. Bound to wanna nudge the chute. What do you reckon?. I mean. Golden sheaf? That's like one of them things ya stick on ya innit? Bet they like to play 'Hide the Sausage' on them cold winter nights."
Feng says "As holy people, I guess they are knowing and doing the will of their god. They show great wisdom in this. I certainly mean to known my god, and serve him better." Feng shudders "I'll not leave this life again so...unprepared."
Feng sits down on his bedroll and stares moodily into the fire.
Poacher spits "ing gods. Who the needs them? Meddling bastards who can think of nothing better to do than around with decent folk. I ing hate gods."
Walter looks at Poacher "If i may be so bold...don’t you hate everyone?"
"Yeah. But ing god. What a bunch of s. I hate them the most. Well.. Them and you lot." Poacher whittles at a bit of wood. Over time he creates something vaguely penis shaped. He looks at it and starts giggling to himself.
Limara looks over to the Ranger "So poacher are you telling me that you worship no god ?"
Poacher smiles "Well my birth certificate says Malar. But he's a . Though he doesn't appear to mind me thinking so. Coz ranger magic is divine in nature. But on the whole it's not that i disbelieve in gods. If i did that the ers would probably
come round and put my windows in. No. I believe. I just think that they're a bunch of meddling s. I only like Malar coz he's god of being cruel to animals or something. "
Limara nods "arr, Malar... The beast lord, ... yup he suits you.... i wonder what he thought of you slaughtering all those Baneite zhents. Bane is an ally of his."
Sparhawk joins the conversation as they bed down for the night "I too believe in a divine purpose, but hold no great addiction to pray for my sword arm...If you believe and it works then do so, I prefer to make my own luck and judgment. Let everyone believe what he or she wish and mayhap we will all come through this together"
Coleridge hums a melancholy dirge as he looks into the fire. He looks around to the others and says "Would you fellows like to recount some of your adventures since last i traveled with you, what happened and where did you go after i left you?"
"I ing DIED!" spits Feng. The half orc clamps his teeth shut, rolls over and tries to sleep.
Beltain turns to the bard "In a nutshell we went through a portal and found ourselves at a Zent fortress which was used as a base for raids via a number of portals. Unfortunately we couldn't return for 24 hours and in that time the zents through everything they had at us. Heals were at a premium and it was touch and go as to if we survived. Suddenly a group of higher-level zents, the leaders, surged up from the dungeons where they were due to hold some internal rite. I managed to kill a couple while under the effects of dust of disappearance and I then attacked a huge half-orc,
became invisible and he dealt me a mighty blow (20 hp) and next I knew I was wandering the fugue. The others, so I'm told, managed to free some prisoners (of which Walter and Deirdre formed part) and the warriors among those freed teamed up with the party and managed to fight off the final waves of zents from the two guard towers. Battered and weary they then waited at the portal until daylight, and the portal activated and they came back to the realms."
Beltain looks into the star-lit heavens and says a prayer to his god. He gazes for a time at the sleeping form of Limara and then tucks his blanket around him and goes to sleep. He sleeps fitfully his dreams keep returning to the gray unending plains of the fugue...
Feeling the cold Rizzit rolls himself right up against the campfire enjoying the flames dancing around him, sighing deeply he falls into a deeper sleep.
The party sleep the night. In the morning they set off for Peldan's Helm.
Whilst they travel Feng says to the party "When the time is right - can you all help me capture an Orcish shaman? I need to speak with someone who knows the will of Gruumsh better than I."

 

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PELDAN'S HELM
The party arrives in the small village.
Beltain smiles "Ah friends, civilization! A hot bath, good food and a warm bed for the night. A welcome respite from the trail." Beltain thinks a moment and then says "Perhaps we should have visited the villages of Mistletarn and Mistlebrook to the South. The Drow raids may link back to the strange map that you found in that foul Zent fortress..."
Limara says to the rest of the party "This is the last town on our route until we get to Halfhap, and that is more than a tenday away, so we will need to buy some party food and drink to put on the cart. If we all pay 10gp each, that should get us decent stash of edibles."
Limara checks her hair and make up with her hand mirror, she brushes her fingers through one side of her hair and smiles at the result. She puts her mirror back in her pack.
Beltain rides into the small village of Peldan's Helm beside Limara thinking of the Inn a hot bath, food and drink and a soft bed out of the elements.
The party book themselves into the only Inn; a Inn named "The man with fire in his hands". Limara takes 10gp off of all party members and organizes food supplies for the road, and they all book rooms for the night.
Feng approaches the bar. "Hey, Innkeeper - you been having trouble with orcs hereabouts?"
The barman replies "No more so than usual... Infact there is a ranger chap staying here, Penfold is his name, he said he tracked a orc to a small camp of them in the Cormanthor Forest, not far from here he said"
"Where might I find Penfold?" says Feng.
"He should be in later...bout 7 ish" replies the barman.
Feng nods and goes and sits in a corner of the inn.
Rizzit clambers onto a stool and orders beers for everyone "Bet you dont get many kobolds in here" he says.
The barman smiles "Nope, infact your the first one...to be honest i though the half orc chap here had you as a prisoner, perhaps he is a bounty hunter taking you to Suzail for trial by the Purple Knights...that’s what i thought"
"Ive been killing zhents!" exclaims Rizzit to the barman. The kobold turns to Deirdre "So Deirdre, wanna share with me tonight?"
Deirdre replies to Rizzit "Oooohh, no thanks. ill get a room on my own thanks"
Rizzit winks "Well your loss, you wont meet another guy with a tongue quite like mine, reaches the places you've never been reached before"
Rizzit looks over to Coleridge who is mingling with the locals. "lets have a song Col to get this party started"
Coleridge seats himself at a table and summons himself a lute. "A song you shall have my fine kobold, i shall sing you the tale of Sallust"
Coleridge strums on his lute and breaks into song
"For him there was no greater fight"
"The one he lost without the light"
"For he was strong, forthright and bold"
"home to prison, Shadowhold."
Coleridge strums a riff
"Through hordes of evil he would wade"
"Dispatching justice with his blade"
"Till the whispers finally caught his ear"
"Cruelly slew his children dear."
Coleridge strums the riff again
"Three daughters fair, and lovely wife"
"Struck down in passion, filled with strife"
"For he would take these lands of old"
"From home to prison, Shadowhold"
Coleridge hums along with his lute
"Till the Druid of the Boarder Wood"
"Did what the righteous Sallust Should"
"He cursed that land of truth unhallow"
"Home and Castle, fled to Shadow"
Coleridge seeks out the eyes of his listeners
"The Blackguard Sallust waits there still"
"In the cloven hall beneath the hill"
"On certain nights when the moon is red"
"Shadow returns from where it fled"
Coleridge sings on eyes filled with emotion
"Till the day it comes, the light that burns"
"And into the halls of gloom returns"
"To clear the dust, the scrap the mold"
"From prison to home, comes Shadowhold"
Coleridge seems lost in the tale
"But not without what is due the Dead"
"Nothing less than Sallust's Head"
"Upon a pike, and facing east"
"His eyeballs plucked in Raven Feast"
Coleridge lowers his gaze lost in the tune
"But even then, ware what was told"
"And seek beneath old Shadowhold"
"For the root of evil runs very deep"
"And whispers in the ears who sleep"
Coleridge rocks on his stool in time with the rhythm
"Darkness is its very breath"
"The one that brings shadowed death"
"Beneath the keep, beneath the hill"
"It lies in wait, it waits there still."
Coleridge builds to a crescendo
"And three daughters and a wife so pale"
"Sing songs to it in hated wail"
"Of better times, of love and gold"
"A time before cursed Shadowhold"
Coleridge sets down his instrument, leans back and takes a long draw on his beer
Rizzit claps
The Barman claps "Nice lead work bud. Singing needs work, just the delivery mind, but not bad..not bad at all" claps. "Here, have a beer on me"
Coleridge smiles "I thank you my friend, i fear the dust on the road must have dried my throat, the beer is most welcome"
"Thank you for an excellent song, but sad indeed." says Beltain.
"A good song friend” Sparhawk says slapping Coleridge on the back
"Col... that was inspiring. Nice finger work.... although a lady probably shouldn't say that!" Limara bursts out laughing. She sups on her beer, "mmm, makes me feel like one of the lads, drinking a pint of ale...."
Time goes by and the party has a few drinks. A man walks into the bar, the barman greets him "Hello Penfold, that half orc over there said he wants to talk to you" Penfold looks over to Feng sitting in the corner.
Limara speaks to the man "So you are Penfold the ranger... what is this i hear about orc encampments, the barman says you tracked an orc .. sounds interesting, can you tell us more?”
The man looks annoyed at Limara's questions "Ummm....yes, i tracked a band of a few orcs...what of it....never seen an orc before?....bloody adventurers, spose you wanna go hunt them now do ya, haven’t you been reading the articles that first appeared in the Ashabenford Herald, about adventurers and their role in society, you lot are bloody pests"
Beltain interjects "Don't believe everything you read in the papers friend Penfold, laughs Beltain, they tend to be written by grubby men to entertain the stay-at-home citizens. The townsfolk are eager for help - until the danger is past, then they would as soon forget their fear and obligation to their helpers. If these are "nice" orcs, peaceful and gentle, then tell us no more. If they cause trouble to the local people by their raids and rapine then tell on"
Penfold the ranger replies "All i have to say is yes, i did track a band of orcs to a camp in the forest. As far as i know they haven’t been responsible for any killings or anything"
Limara says, "I have no interest in attacking an orc village that isn’t causing any problems, if they are being peaceful then they should be encouraged to stay that way. oh, ..and Penfold.... you call us bloody adventurers and bloody pests.... lets hope you never need our services "
Rizzit grumbles "Well i think an orc camp should be checked out, we are adventurers first, caravan guards second or were you simply looking for a peaceful trip along the road for the duration of this adventure"
"Rizzit, incase you had forgotten," says Limara "We are currently escorting alter to Suzail. Does Walter have a time limit or is he up for taking an extra month so that we can waltz off and investigate every rumor all the way through Cormyr ?"
Rizzit replies” I don’t see he would have much choice, does anyone else want to check out the orcs in the morning?. I am already bored with the road. How about you poacher? orcs always have loot"
Limara sighs "Look, we are CONTRACTED to do a job.... that means we do the job.... don’t agree to a job if you don’t want to do it.... Walter has EVERY choice, he hired us.... If Walter agrees to it then i am happy to do it, but if he wants us to move on, then we move on. Its not your choice Rizzit...What are Deirdre and Walter supposed to do while we go off hunting orcs? stay here unguarded or come with us ? "
Limara turns to Walter, "please can you tell us what you require, do you have a time limit? Do we avoid unnecessary encounters? “
Walter replies to Limara "Um..No, although id like to reach Suzail before Ches, i have a merchant meeting at the beginning of the month"
Rizzit mocks Limara "My we are touchy today, as it happens I don’t really give a about the job, its something to do until something more interesting comes along"
Poacher spits at Rizzit "Why the do we want to go kill some random orcs? Just coz you don't ing like them? Well that’s no reason. You never let me go and kill random ing elves. Lets just stay here for the night then off. Just coz some wanker ranger who probably doesn't know a ing orc trail from a hobgoblin trail says there's orcs out there you lot wanna go all heroic and go deal with them? It's just another ing example of you ers and your good alignment fascism and war mongering coming out in ya actions." Says Poacher before mockingly adding. "Oooh. There's some orcs in the forest. We gotta go kill the evil things.... Wankers."
Rizzit replies "We want to kill them cos they are there probably sitting on a load of loot they took of someone else.... and I like killing stuff"
"Loot?" sneers Poacher "Their ing orcs. They never have loot. Well no more than ing Kobolds. Lets loot you first."
Rizzit sighs "This is going to be such a dull trip with you ooo lets not fight anything ers....no no please don’t hurt the noble bear, oh maybe they are good orcs, we are contracted for this and that blah blah blah.....miserable ers" he concludes.
" off Rizzit." spits back poacher "I don't wanna ing go. I like orcs. I used to like ing Kobolds till i met you. If we go kill orcs i demand that we kill the next lot of ing elves we come across."
Rizzit sulks and drinks his beer
Poacher sneers at the kobold "Anyway. Aren't we supposed to have you on a lead when we're in civilized areas?"
"Just you try it boyo" states Rizzit.
Poacher looks over to Feng and Penfold suspiciously and wanders over. "Hey what are you two ers whispering about? Trying to double cross us i bet."

After about an hour of quality bathing time, Limara stacks her dirty laundry for cleaning. She dries off and talc’s herself down, putting on a tiny lacy thing and some red fishnet stockings. Her mithral shirt, barely buttoned, and a tiny red skirt is tonight’s casual eveningwear. Limara then does her hair and makeup, she bends over and packs her stuff up, she then walks over to Beltain and shuts his gaping mouth for him.."blink, or you'll go blind. See you in the bar for dinner....” She picks up her stuff and goes to the bar...

Beltain asks for some cold water to be added to the bath. When he has recovered he gets out of the bath, dries himself and dresses in clean cloths, leaving his travel gear for laundry and hurries down to the bar.
Beltain points out to those assembled that baths have been paid for the company... and laundry facilities.
Poacher looks at the cleric "What the would i want a bath for? All that that smell of soap does is knock off my tracking ability; a good earthy stench keeps you healthy. And anyway. I had a ing bath two trips to Ashabenford ago. So off you bloody perfume wearing gay boy. Who you the priest of anyway? Quentin the Toffee shunter or something?"
Beltain says to the Ranger "I'm sure that if you had a bath Poacher you would feel much better. You have a lot of anger with life that is trying to escape. Relax in the cleansing waters and see how good it feels... You might even find that the serving girls feel more positive towards you if they could approach you without feeling queasy. "
"Or you take out that anger on some orcs" suggests Rizzit.
Poacher replies, "I have allot of ing anger in life because complete ing wankers keep giving me ing advice and it pisses me off. How ing stupid do you think i am. Soaking in a nice hot bath is going to change me. the world and the wankers in it in no way. I'll get out of the bath and you'll still be a knobend, Limara will still be a useless ing slapper, Rizzit will still be monster that has somehow weaseled his way into the party, Feng will still no doubt be a and i'll still hate you all. How's a ing bath gonna alter that?"

Feng talks to the ranger Penfold for a while. Initially the ranger offers to take Feng on his own to the orc camp, then he seems to change his mind, stating once again that he wont lead a band of adventurers to kill orcs who haven’t committed any acts of violence against Peldan’s helm. The ranger leaves the Inn, stating before he goes "If you want Orcs try the Thunder Peaks....or ask around in Arabel, they’ve had enough problems with orcs"

The night goes by and the party has a good few drinks, and mingles with the locals.

At the end of the evening Beltain says to the party "I have learned that Hoograg, a cruel and cunning ogre, is often sighted in this area. Hoograg specializes in stealing horses and clobbering peasants, and only a lucky few have survived his sneaky attacks. This ogre, people say, has a greenish skin and exudes a particularly foul smell."
"Ah! You think it may be a relative of Poacher?" asks Feng.
Beltain continues, "Maybe, if we had a hound with a good sense of smell, we could track him. That rules out Bullseye 'cos if he had any sense of smell..."
Feng laughs.
"Damned if I am going anywhere without a nights bed." says Beltain. He looks meaningfully at Limara in her tiny red skirt and fishnet stockings.

The party retires to bed for the night...They awake in the morning...



LEAVING PELDAN'S HELM
The party sleeps the night and awake in the morning...some feeling a little worse for wear after last nights merriment...
Sparhawk leans on the table in the Inn and addresses the others. "Neighbours forget the orcs and let us travel on, should we come back this way we can look for them then, let us head back to the Moonsea Ride and continue our journey"
Poacher, by the smell of him, hasn’t taken this stay over as a opportunity to bath. "Well, im still a bit hung over, but i think we decided we was going to leave the in orcs alone and carry on escorting that slap head Walter and Deirdre here to Suzail. Whilst i was in the toilets last night i asked some geezer about that Ogre Beltain was talking about. He was most helpful, and after i let go of his bollocks he told me that the Ogre had been spotted recently near the Moonsea Ride, directly south of here. The er must be praying on traveling caravans. Anyways, i could track near there, see if i pick up on anything...Least its on our way. What do you guys say?. And did anyone else pick up any relevant info last night?.. And no Beltain, Limara liking it over the dressing table aint in news."
Beltain looks clean and very happy, if tired, this morning. He smiles a lot and doesn't seen at all put out by Poacher's jibes. "If we can get rid of the Ogre menace as we pass through then I would vote for doing it, I can't believe that I'm agreeing with Poacher. Removing the Ogre may change these people's jaded opinion of adventurers."
"Good idea, lets hunt some ogre" says Rizzit excitedly.
Feng snorts "We killed a couple of Ogres on the way to Galath's roost - I don't recall that they were much of a problem. One should be a piece of piss."
The Bard Coleridge speaks "I also heard tell of Hoograg last night, by the sound of him he is an opportunistic coward, mainly preying on unarmed peasants and petty thievery, but we should be wary by all accounts only a few have managed to survive his sneaky attacks, so we need to remain alert on our journey through this area". The bard takes a sip of his drink and continues "There is also rumor of a long forgotten temple to Silvanus somewhere south of here on the edge of the forest, this is purely supposition, but if that place is now deserted it is possible that Hoograg is using
the ruins as his home, seeing as the attacks have all been in this area"
The cleric of the Red Knight, Limara, speaks "ok, we have 67 days to get to Suzail in time for Walter to go to his meeting. The journey should take about 28 more days 'ish, so we have some leeway with time. I agree with Sparhawk that we should head off on the moonsea, but i reckon we have time to hunt this ogre..if thats what it is.. "
Sparhawk once again speaks "Forasmuch as there is many a rumor, nothing will be found hitherto us moving along said ride, let us move along and take what knowledge we have with us. Mayhap our journey will be clear, but forewarned is four armed, so all be vigilant neighbors"
Rizzit looks at the warrior puzzled "let me get this right, Spar your proposing we carry on our way and only fight the ogre if it tries to attack us? or are you leading us to where poacher may be able to pick up a trial? or to search out this long forgotten temple?"
"Whichever the party decide Rizzit, but we will achieve little sitting here talking bout it...I am proposing we move along and then make our decisions upon our findings" replies Sparhawk.
The party load up their food supplies in the wagon and prepare their mounts. Feng turns to the party as they prepare to leave. "Im just going to go buy a Sling and some bullets before we leave. Im also gonna pick up a wooden shield. Won’t be long."
Rizzit calls after the half-orc barbarian "A sling is a girls weapon Feng, jeez what are you coming to" Rizzit shouts again "Its since you lost that testicle, your going all weird"

The party leaves Peldans helm and ride south to the Moonsea Ride. There Poacher begins tracking for any unusual tracks. The Ranger looks up from the floor smiling. He had found tracks of an Ogre, he believed, going off from the Moonsea Ride, south, into the Forest. The undergrowth is not passable by the party’s mounts. Walter and Deirdre stay behind with the cart and horses and the party make their way through the undergrowth.

 

[tariff]

TEMPLE IN THE FOREST
After not long the party emerge in a clearing. The clearing houses a wooden building. The building seems to be a temple. The Temple stands atop a stone plinth. The walls of the shrine are made of timber. The entrance is set into a portico supported by wooden pillars. The lintel that runs over the leafy capitals of the pillar is decorated with a strip of clay friezes depicting monstrous humanoids, tangled plants, and sylvan creatures. The porch is surmounted by a triangular pediment and covered by a roof of wooden shingles; who’s texture resembles the surface of a giant pinecone. The pediment frames a triangular bas-relief featuring a large mask of Silvanus in the middle, a grotesque three-armed giant on the right, and a young peasant-boy armed with a sling on the right. A lattice of roots and vines drapes the building.
"Ok, comrades let's do it!" whispers Beltain. He looks to Sparhawk and Limara for a plan of approach...Feng whispers to the rest of the party "What is Silvanus? A local nature spirit, or some more important god? What are his traits, and could he be described as good or Evil?". Feng scans the building "I'm thinking of getting in via the roof - that front door looks too obvious. It could be a sweet way of outflanking anyone waiting inside the door - the roof is only wood, after all" He slaps his Axe 'Laskurs bane' "I have a great key right here."
Beltain nods "I guess if you wanted to climb onto the roof, Feng, there are plenty of vines to give you hand and footholds..."
Coleridge whispers to the rest "I will recount what i know of this place and its story, but i don't know how much help it will be to us in our endeavors"
"Good idea" nods Rizzit as he drinks a potion of Mage Armor. His little body is surrounded by a glow briefly as the magic takes effect.
Coleridge tells the story "The temple was founded about a century ago, the images in relief are of Borgren Brutebasher at the time a peasant boy who was enlisted by the locals and a cleric of Silvanus named Pimaris in defeating an evil athach (the three armed giant) named Theelaz who at the time was terrorizing the area... it is speculated that Silvanus himself who you have rightly guessed is the God of Nature had a hand in persuading Bogren to become involved but others believe it was Pimaris' use of magic which finally led to his intervention and eventual triumph over the athach. Bogren went on to become a heroic adventuring ranger and slayer of giants, dying far from here in a battle with a colossal beast, having never returned to this place after his victory here. the temple was founded around the ash tree which was instrumental in his recruitment and was tended by clerics of Silvanus for many years but has been little heard of for some time." Coleridge looks at the shrine "It may be best we make sure there are no followers of Silvanus herein, before Poacher inevitably tries to desecrate the place, we all know his feelings about nature"
Limara agrees "Guys coleridge is right about Sylvanus being a nature god, he is a greater god and he is totaly neutral... being interested in the balance of all things... His current stance is that civilization is too big and out of balance. Though he will not intervene directly his priests, mostly druids, have been known to locate predators, brigands or the like to 'balance' the encroachment of civilization. And there was me thinking my religious studies were a waste of time at church."
Sparhawk nods “"Neighbors I may be wrong, but as we have not had any threat against us from this place, I personally feel that burning it to the ground or desecrating it would indeed be, just slightly, out of order"
Coleridge, Rizzit and Feng move up the steps to the porch, listening and looking hard. They hear and see nothing. An Arch leads to inside. Coleridge and Rizzit peer into the chamber beyond..

Four heaps of human bones flank the passage to the courtyard. The wooden walls of this room are studded with hundreds of metal plaques blackened by age. The plaques come in various sizes and shapes. Aside from minor differences, they are skillful carvings of an ash tree or facial portraits of Silvanus.
The north wall has an arch set into it..

Poacher starts to dribble.. "This looks like the sorta gay place elves would hang out. Lets torch the in place, Feng’s right...a simple flaming arrow should do the trick, better to be safe than sorry...."
“Rubbish Poacher,” retorts Beltain “Elves are not for building houses such as this in the forest, they prefer the leafy glades and places where you can see the stars. They are more likely to be outside than in such a building - this is a human temple.”
Beltain thinks a moment and then says “Might be useful to have a detect magic running as we go in?”
Feng again suggests climbing the wall “I can shin up onto the roof, and perhaps let myself down, or at least see down inside the building.”
Limara pulls out a 50ft silk rope from her Hewards handy Haversack and gives it to Feng.

Feng begins climbing up the creepers and vines that cover the shrine.

Rizzit steps in front of the Archway leading into the temple and casts a detect magic spell. Immediately he picks up that there are magical auras in the area inside the temple. He needs to concentrate more to determine any more information. "I got magical auras here"


ATTACK OF THE ASSASSIN VINE
The creepers and vines that cover the wooden walls of the shrine are plentifull and the barbarian finds the climb easy. He gets 30ft up the 50ft wall and suddenly is attacked by a mass of vines. He recognizes the creature immediately; he had met one before in Galaths Roost, an Assassin Vine. Feng continues to Climb up but the plant creature shoots out a vine that hits Feng for (8) damage. Feng manages to retain his hold on the wall but the vine wraps around his torso and constricts inflicting (9) damage on the barbarian. “Oi! The greenstuff is alive! Another in vine! Torch it, Rizz!”
“You got the whole building to climb up and you pick the assassin vine to climb up” comments Rizzit.
“Surely if you are the mighty warrior you claim to be, you can take care of a plant can't you Feng?” shouts up Coleridge as he watches Feng being attacked by the plant 30ft up.
"Burn it Rizzit," shouts Beltain, as he positions himself to attack the vine. Beltain thinks for a moment and then speaks to Rizzit more calmly, "On the other hand we have lots of muscle to free Feng, perhaps you should concentrate on the positions and types of magic..."
Poacher shouts at Rizzit "Well i'd have ing thought that concentrating on getting Feng the out of that vine should be our priority. He's already half ing dead and you're ing faffing around detecting magic? He's supposed to be your ing friend. Magic him the out of there."
Rizzit shouts back to the ranger " off poacher you got a bow shoot the thing, or are you going to walk through these arches for me to see if they go bang?"
Poacher lines the Assassin Vine up in his sights and lets loose a single arrow. Its flight is true and it hits the vine for (5) damage.
Poacher sneers, "Can any of you guys tell us why we are grouped with a ing monster? I mean, is he actually any use? Apart from wandering off and doing as he pleases and leading zhents to us and nearly getting us killed? I wouldn't mind normally. But he's a ing to boot. Does anyone know why we're still with him? And before you open you ing big mouth Rizzit, the question wasn't to you."
Limara looks up at Feng who is struggling against the Assassin Vine. "bugger.... he's 30' foot up... i cant heal him up there... "
She utters a few words and a weapon made of pure force springs into existence. She stares briefly at the replica of 'checkmate' before sending the sword to attack the assassin vine. The sword floats in the air, and strikes at the vine. The magic sword hits but only does (2) damage.
"Nice sword, Princess. Do you get to keep it afterwards?" says Beltain.
Limara shakes her head” Unfortunately not.. "
Coleridge fires his crossbow, but his bolt misses the vine and embeds into the wooden structure of the shrine. "I really do need to get some practice in with this thing" mutters the bard.
"Think positive.... at least you didn’t shoot Feng" says Limara.
Beltain looks to Rizzit in the temple entrance "We need to keep watch on the temple too - just in case the Ogre chooses now to come out and join the party!"
"I got the temple covered just get Feng back safely please" says Rizzit. The kobold shouts, hoping his friend can hear "Don’t you do dying again Feng"
Bullseye urinates on a potted plant..
Sparhawk fires his Composite Longbow at the plant, but misses.
"Poacher can you show Spar how to use that bow he seems a little confused about it" mocks Rizzit.
Poacher nods "Aye. What you do spar mate, is you get the little y Kobold in your sights and then fire arrows into his little annoying head."
Meanwhile, up on the wall, Feng battles to release himself from the creatures grip. "Just...like....a...lass....I.....had...once......Just....too....clingy....THIS BLOODY RADISH IS GONNA FEEL THE POWER OF FENG! GUGGGHH! THE RAGE! IT COMES!!!"
Feng's veins begin to pulse and his muscles bulge, as the Barbarian goes into a RAGE!". The Barbarian frees himself from the plants grip and climbs fast up the vines covering the shrine. He reaches the roof 50ft up. The Assassin Vine slowly moves up the wall after Feng...
Beltain glances at Rizzit "Will you be OK guarding the entrance by yourself?" he asks. The cleric then uses his sling to fire a bullet at the Assassin Vine. He misses. He glances to right and left to ensure he hasn't hit anyone by accident!.
"Yes I will guard the entrance on my own" replies Rizzit. "See Feng, Bel uses a sling, obviously a girls weapon"
Beltain sighs, "You could be right - I've had not much luck with it so far!"


ROUND: 2
In an almost begrudging manner Poacher fires two arrows at the Assassin Vine. The scowl, which adorns his wretched Physiognomy, doesn't budge an inch. One hits for (4) damage. "Well at least i hit the er." Growls the Malodorous Ranger as he notices the minor damage produced by his volley. He turns round and shouts at Bullseye, his pit bull dog. "Come 'ere you little and stop pissing on the temple columns. That’s my ing job. Guys can we burn this abomination of a temple down once we've finished with it? I ing hate Nancy-fairy nature gods, they boil my piss they do."
Feng hauls himself up on the roof of the shrine "FENG LIVES! HA HA!". Feng looks at the Roof. It does indeed appear sturdy, but it is also covered in creepers and vines, The barbarian doesn’t spot any more Assassin Vines, but he didn’t spot the last one either.
Limara fires with her Crossbow and her spiritual weapon attacks the Vine, but both attacks miss.
Beltain gives his sling an experimental swing, eager not to screw up as he did in his first attack. "Hey Rizzit." says Poacher "I notice you're being awful quiet. Which for you is unheard of. What the are you hiding in there? You found treasure?"
"shh, poacher I am trying to concentrate here." replies the kobold.
Coleridge reloads his crossbow and prepares for some target practice. "I suppose we better clear a path down for the mighty Feng before he gets himself into any more trouble."
Coleridge sights at the vine and fires. The bard’s aim is good and his bolt hits the Assassin Vine, doing (6) damage. "At last a hit, how’s that detectoring coming Riz?"
"I am detecting a single aura type, will know what it is soon." replies Rizzit.
Sparhawk sets himself muttering to himself How were we shown...feet shoulder width apart.. breath slowly and line the target up...and gently release" Sparhawk’s arrow misses its target. "Methinks I am in need of practice with this weapon...for it has been an age since I last attempted to use a bow” Poacher scowls "We are really making a ing meal of this ing vine. Which gives me an idea. Wonder if you can cook and eat the bastard? "Beltain speaks "Nice shot Cole! Be good to finish this plant off - I agree with Poacher that we seem to making a meal of this combat but not that we should make a meal of the vine..."oh i dunno, roughage is a good part of any diet." quips Coleridge.
Beltain nods in agreement "Well, my mum was always on about eating my greens... I think that it would taste better if we killed it first."
Feng, standing on the roof of the temple looks down below. The Vine is still moving slowly up the wall toward him. The half-orc barbarian pulls a potion from his potion belt and quaffs it down. Some of his wounds heal. Feng then moves to the Apex of the Atrium, scanning the roof. "Woo-Hoo! Feng is Top-O'-The-World!"
The Assassin Vine continues to move slowly up the wall. Beltain reloads his Sling and Fires at the Assassin Vine. The Vine is a fair distance away for a Sling to hit and the sling stone falls short of its target.
Rizzit continues to concentrate on his Detect Magic Spell.


ROUND: 3
Sparhawk looks up at the Vine as it climbs the wall of the shrine, apparently following Feng "Poacher please rid us of this foe, I do not wish another embarrassing attempt at a shot."
Poacher lines the vine up in his sights and rapid shots two arrows. Both strike the vine causing (10) damage.
Limara watches as her Spiritual Weapon attacks the vine again. The animated sword doesn’t hit though. Limara sighs and fires her light crossbow at the plant creature. She also misses. "Geez, ... at least your hitting it Poacher or we'd be hear all day, oh and you Col.."
Coleridge shakes his head "Does that thing still live, let us dispatch it posthaste so we can discover what Rizzit has found and also before we alert everything within the temple to our presence, although it may be a little late for that now."
Coleridge takes a step back so he can once again see the vine, reloads his crossbow and looses another bolt. This time the bard misses. "Damnation and just when i thought i was getting my eye in."
Rizzit looks up from concentrating on hid Detect Magic Spell "looks like this room is for you clerics my guess is the skellies will animate when we go in. They are the aura I am detecting."
Feng shouts down to the party from the roof "I can’t see anything useful from up here - just a moment, and I'll move to the apex of the roof proper."
Beltain shouts back "Be careful Feng, this temple has been deserted for some time - the roof could give way."
Poacher sneers, "ing hell. Being in a party with you s is like being on a trip out with the ing spastics. Could one of you at least try and ing aim at the ing vine? I've seen ing sheep fight better."
Coleridge replies, "I am well aware of your experiences with sheep Poacher, and it isn't any wonder why they are fighting”
Sparhawk looks across to the ranger "Poacher I am not used to using a bow, and to use your colorful language...Bring the er down here and i will dispatch it post haste"
Sparhawk takes a deep breath and draws his bow. This time the warriors aim is true and his arrow strikes the vine for (7) damage. The Vine stops moving.
Sparhawk nods, seeing the plant die "Calmness is still the attitude I see." The warrior lifts his bow and blows on it, he then throws his bow over his shoulder and draws his sword. "What do we have Rizzit? Undead you say?"
Limara's Spiritual Weapon dissipates.
Sparhawk moves back to stand outside the entrance, "Neighbors gather behind me, for I will cross the divide, unless anyone else feels they are more suited?, I have the strength and the armour is the point I maketh"
Limara walks over towards Rizzit and Sparhawk near the entrance. She sheaths her bow and fixes her shield to her arm as she moves. she asks out loud "Is Feng going in through the roof or in the door with us? if we are to be delayed at the door by undead Feng should probably go in with the party, else he might be attacked on his own inside." Limara winks at Beltain as she passes him..." do you think there might be another entrance? "The female cleric gets a cigar out, lights it with a tindertwig and .... after a moment .... blows smoke from her pouting lips. "Anyone else want a cigar?" She turns to Sparhawk "Spar, if we are to approach undead it should be me that leads the way. 'Horses for courses' as they say....i also have spells to cast before we choose to enter, but i would like you right behind me incase they refuse to bow to my will."
Beltain loads another bullet into his sling and gives it an experimental swing. He then hurries after Sparhawk and Limara. "Magically animating bones doesn't not sound like the domain of a nature god or yet the work of an Orge, green or otherwise. There could be more to this than first appears. Take care Princess and you too Sir Sparhawk, there is evil here"
Beltain says to Limara "I think there will almost certainly be another entrance but we can't search for it without splitting the party. My guess would be from the crypt via a tunnel into these woods somewhere or it could be as simple as a door hidden under this vegetation. If there is one hidden in the shrubbery then I bet it will have another assassin vine close at hand!"
Rizzit speaks "ok so Lim and Bel these four piles of bones are likely to animate so you guys take a side each and send em back to hell the moment they stand up. Best to have Spar and Feng right behind you so you can withdraw back past them should it be necessary."
Sparhawk nods "Thy plan sounds solid enough neighbors, I will happily follow the clerics in to clear any undead that refuse to bow to your commands...Now we must await Feng"
Coleridge stows his crossbow and draws his longsword making a few experimental swipes with it to loosen his arm. The bard then saunters over to join the others by the temple entrance.
Rizzit shouts up to the unseen barbarian on the roof of the temple "Feng get down off that roof will ya, there is a real fight to be had here now."
"Wait you scroats! I'm scouting!" comes Feng's voice from the rooftop.
Coleridge says "I am ready to enter the fray once more and am happy to accede to Limara and Sparhawk's plan of entrance." Coleridge mutters as an aside "The undead give me the willies so i'm happy someone else'll be up front anyway"
The bard continues, "I would imagine beyond the atrium is the central courtyard containing the great ash tree around which the temple was originally founded."
Feng finds something sturdy to tie his rope to, fixes the rope, ties the other end around his waist, then grabes his greataxe in his right hand, the rope in his left, and plays it out slowly as he walks along the apex.
Rizzit’s Detect Magic Dissipates.
Beltain calls out to Feng "Are you coming down soon, we can't support you up there if another Vine, or something else, attacks and I think that we need some serious muscle when we enter the temple!"
"WAIT! I GOT SOME NEWS!" shouts back Feng.
Beltain holds his breath "NEWS? WHAT NEWS?" He calls out.
Feng shouts back "We've really got a shrine here - and not to a warm and cuddly god either!. Its like a walled courtyard with a big off Ash tree inside it. Lots of bones around the tree. Skulls and bones tangled in the branches and leaves. Looks like there could be a back way in? Looks like a smaller structure, similar to the Atrium on the back. Cant see anything moving tho. I can see lots from up here - want me to stay put, and use mr sling from my eminence?"
Feng looks proud at using the word "eminence" in context.
Rizzit readies his crossbow loading a bolt, he also makes sure a vial of holy water is ready on his potion belt should he need it.
Poacher spits "Are you guys ing retarded? What the is Rizzit doing at the front. Fighters 1st.. coz we have no rogues.. then clerics.. then ing missile then casters...Sheesh. It isn't ing hard you know."
Poacher looks over to Bullseye "Come 'ere you ."
Rizzit shoots Poacher a look "I am at the front cos the fighters as usual don’t seem keen to step forward"
"Well step the back ." scowls the ranger.
Rizzit shakes his head "I will not, they can step forward, Rizzit never shies away from danger"
"Rizzit" shouts Poacher "Just get to the ing back and stop holding stuff up. Sheesh it's like being in a ing party with a ing school kid. Just coz you're the size of a ing prepubesant little it's no reason to act like one."
Rizzit shouts back " off poacher I stand ready to fight, but seem to be alone in that while the rest are in their little mothers meeting behind me"
“Ok gobshite." says Poacher "Go on. Advance into the room first by your ing self. Go on. I ing dare you. I bet you get the ing kicked out of you like last time... Remember that? That time when you nearly died coz you ed off by yourself and we saved you?"
Rizzit sighs at the simpleton, "I am waiting here for the fighters to advance into the room, i will then follow, you may skulk nice and safe outside as you usually do Poacher."
Poacher laughs, "You don't even listen do you. We're getting into formation before we AD-ING-VANCE... If you got into formation that would happen a of a lot quicker."
Rizzit snaps back "The fact that you managed to rescue anyone is only because you are always so far from any trouble you are almost guaranteed to be the last one left standing. And don’t try to make your lack of courage out to be good sense Poacher, you your pants at the first sign of a monster, as we can all smell."
"I don't my pants at the sight of you. And you're a ing monster." replies the ranger.
"Enough of incoherent ravings poacher I must ready myself for battle" Rizzit turns away from the frothing Ranger."I'm sick of talking to you you little stain." Poacher turns away from Rizzit.
Suddenly the voice of Feng is heard from the roof "OK - listen up! i'll come down - just give me some info first. CAN YOU SEE RIGHT THROUGH THE ATRIUM TO THE COURTYARD WITH THE TREE?"
Just about" shouts back Rizzit.
The party hears a loud Thud coming from inside the temple...looking through the Arches they can make out Feng’s form crumpled on the floor. They watch as the barbarian gets to his feet, he seems ok...you watch as you see the barbarian look around...seems he’s seen something.."! That hurt!" says the barbarian.
Coleridge calls out, "You alright through there Feng? Can you see anything further now you're back on the ground?"
"Weasels...big ones, two of em" shouts back Feng.
Rizzit sighs, "I hate to say it bro but you are in deep "
The first of the two Die Weasels moves and attacks Feng. It bites at the barbarian causing (7) damage. The weasels powerful jaws lock and it remains attached to Feng.
The second weasel also attacks Feng, and also manages to bite, causing (9) damage. It to locks on to the barbarians flesh.
Sparhawk speaks up "Neighbors we have to move....I hear trouble...I am moving in" As Sparhawk steps into the Atrium two of the bone piles rise up...assembling into skeletons.
Sparhawk’s reactions are quick and the warrior strikes at one of the skeletons as it assembles. However, Sparhawk is over zealous in his strike and drops his longsword to the ground.
Feng draws his Greataxe and whirls it in a vicious arc. He hits one of the weasels attached to him and does it (9) damage. "Ghggh! Damn, My grandmother could have done better... or Poacher, even"
Rizzit shouts to Feng "I will try to magic missile it to death if poacher can’t finish it."
Poacher spits out orders to the rest of the party "Beltain and Limara move into the room and support Spar with healing. Unfortunately Feng is beyond our aid for now. Rizzit get the in there and do what you say you're good at. Lets get this done you ers."
Beltain moves forward and casts a Bless Spell on the party. He then drops the sling and draws his sword.
Bone Construct #2 attacks Sparhawk, but misses the warrior.
Bone construct #1 moves to attack Sparhawk. This one hits, causing Sparhawk (10) damage.
Poacher scowls at Beltain "So which part of move into the room and support Sparhawk with healing didn't you understand Beltain? I'm sure that ing bless spell will help him when he's ing dead. "Coleridge looks at the ranger "Why do you stand around slack-jawed... well your jaw is never slack is it Poacher... our comrades need us"
"I'll be in there soon you jumped up club turn you." Says Poacher.
Coleridge pushes past the others at the entrance to move to Sparhawk’s aid. Coleridge attacks Bone Construct #1. The bard hits with his Longsword, but seems to do little damage...much less than expected.
Coleridge shouts "Come Poacher join the fray, my swordplay has done little more than get its attention.. and even then only just"
Poacher moves into the Temple, scowling at the Clerics as he passes. He then attacks Bone Construct #1. His shot is magnificent. Hitting the Skeleton straight in the eye socked, but it seems to do very little damage to the creature. " me. I hit it in the ing eye socket and it did nothing.. Bastard."
"Your aim was true Poacher, but your strike like mine seems to have done little" states Coleridge.
Rizzit moves into the atrium "Two missiles of magical energy dart forth from Rizzit's fingertips, the missiles strike unerringly, causing Dire Weasel#1 (9) damage. Badly wounded, the weasel still clings onto Feng.
"GET THEM OFF ME! OWWWW!" Feng snarls and slavers, much like the weasels themselves.
Limara speaks up "ok, im gonna move in and try and help Feng first with a spell. I have potions to dispense to those nearby if needed" Limara moves in to the atrium, she targets Feng and casts a spell. The spell is "Shield Other", The spell creates a mystic connection between Limara and Feng so that, theoretically, if Feng is hurt again, some of the damage will be transferred to Limara instead. This seems like a great move, as Feng is quite badly hurt.


ROUND: 4
Both the attached weasels drain some of Feng's blood. (Feng loses 2 points of Constitution, and 1hp). Limara's Shield Other Spell does not prevent the blood loss damage and Feng feels slightly weaker.
Poacher cackles "Well it would help if the ing clerics would stop fannying around using ing spells THAT HAVE NO EFFECT and start ing healing people like Spar and trying to see if these huge undead ing constructs can be TURNED like normal undead. Limara when you ing said in your petulant fug that you weren't going to pick any ing heals i didn't think you were actually ing serious. What you going to cast next you useless slut? Protection from toads? Cure light veruca? Blessing of the bastard pod people? I ing dispair, i really ing do."Sparhawk steps back and picks up his sword, as he does so one of the constructs strikes at him, misses, unbalances itself, and stumbles prone on the floor.
"Cure Light Veruca. Kekekekeekekekekeke. I'm dead funny me." Chuckles Poacher to himself.
"Give him a slap Limara, he needs to learn some civility" says Rizzit. "And thats coming from a kobold".
" of half pint." retorts Poacher "You've got about as much civility as a shambling mound at a tea party."
"What’s a shambling mound?" asks Rizzit
"Some kind of monster i think Rizz" replies Limara.
"What’s a tea party then?" asks the kobold.
Limara calls to Feng "Feng, the spell i have cast will last for 3 hours as long as you stay within 30 feet of me. If you move out of range the spell ends.. it may not be doing much now but it will help if the constructs start wading in." She turns to the bard "Col, you say your sword is doing little damage, do you want to try for the weasels? i can step in on this construct and use my mace. "
"OK, Poacher" says Beltain sternly "You've a bad word for everyone except, of course yourself. Now that you know that your arrows are useless against the bones looks like you have to prove your mettle and fight toe-to-toe with the monsters. Or are you just a piss artist like your mut? The alternative is just to try standing there and boring them to death. But seeing they are dead already that is probably not a brilliant idea."
Beltain ponders. If he changes weapons now, he won't have enough time to move and hit... Perhaps he will have to try for a mighty blow with his sword after all.
Feng swings angrily again at the weasels locked on to him. Aiming for the one that is badly wounded. He hits it hard with "Laskur's Bane" for (8) damage, the weasels jaw slackens and it drops to the floor a bleeding mess. Feng takes a step toward the party, the other weasel still locked onto him. "Kill 'em all! FENG IS HERE! HAHAHAHAHA!"
"I'm coming to help Feng" shouts Coleridge "My blade is doing little to these skeletal beast i shall see how the weasles fair against it"
Beltain moves into the Atrium and attacks Bone Construct#1 with his longsword. The bone creature avoids his blow and strikes back hitting Beltain for (9) damage.
Bone Construct#2 stands up, as it does so Sparhawk strikes at it and hits, however, his strike does little damage to the creature. The creature attempts to hit Sparhawk but misses.
Beltain says to Rizzit "I will need to move back, heal myself and rearm. I think that we need your magic against these bones, sharp steel doesn't seem to be as effective as it normally is. I'm sure Poacher can finish a weasel."
Coleridge moves towards the stricken half-orc, as he goes to aid the barbarian he passes one of the skeleton creatures, it lashes out and hurts Coleridge for (8) damage. Coleridge ignores the pain and pushes past to get to Feng. He strikes at the weasel attached to Feng and hits it for (6) damage. Still the weasel clings on. "Take that ya vile rodent"
"RIP IT'S IN HEAD OFF!" roars Feng.
Sparhawk turns to Limara as he battles one of the skeletons "Limara if you wish to use your mace I will stay on these bones and try to hold their attention"
"Thanks Spar," I will step in where Col just was and dispatch the thing as fast as i can"
Poacher unleashes two arrows at the weasel on Feng. Its a difficult shot as he has to fire past one of the Bone Constructs and Coleridge. The ranger misses.
Rizzit unleashes two rather pathetic magic missiles at the dire weasel for (5) damage. This proves enough however, and the weasel falls to the floor. Feng looks relieved.
Limara swiftly moves around behind the construct to flank it with Beltain. She draws her mace from her belt and strikes out at the foe. Limara smashes her mace into the boney ribs of her enemy as hard as she can doing (8) damage, although most of the damage gets through, her weapon is still not striking to its full potential, but it certainly seems more effective than a Longsword or arrow.

ROUND: 5
Sparhawk attacks Bone Construct#2. He hits it hard, but little damage gets through. "Ok I think I have his attention Neighbours""Good hit anyway" acknowledges Rizzit."Spar... blunt weapons have more effect. Have you, or anyone else got a blunt weapon?" says Limara.
"Poachers head?" offers Rizzit.Poacher grins "You could try using your Wit Limara. That's a pretty ing blunt weapon. Kekeke""..yup,really helpful.." sighs Limara.
Sparhawk turns to Limara "Limara, If I had a blunt weapon, do you think I would have afforded them an attack on me whilst I bothered to retrieve my sword?"
"Sling bullets are blunt!" staes Feng as sheaths his Axe, and draws his sling. He takes a step closer to his adversaries.
Beltain takes a step back from the Bone creature, drops his sword and casts a Cure Light Wounds spell on himself, he then retieves his crowbar. "All the better to deconstruct these constructs" he murmers.
Bone Construct#2 continues to attack Sparhawk, but fails to hurt the warrior.
Bone Construct#1 attacks Limara but fails to hurt the cleric.
Coleridge drops his sword and readies his crossbow. He quickly loads and unleashes a bolt towards Bone Construct #1. Unfortunately, the bard has to aim carefully to avoid hitting Limara, the bard misses his target.
"Some time at the archery butts for me i think when next we rest up and train" says the bard.
"Me too friend , me too" says Sparhawk.
The bard continues "It appears this could be quite a slog with these creatures so little affected by our edged and piercing weapons and so few off us with blunt weapons, although Limara feels even they are not having full impact, what manner of beast are they?"
"That now is of no moment neighbour," replies Sparhawk "Forasmuch as our weapons do not have full impact, we have no choice now but to slog it out untill they fall"
Limara speaks "I dont no exactly what they are, they seem to resistant to damage from what we have thrown at them so far. Keep thinking Col... if you can think of anything, say so, its the only way we will learn."
"Time it may take but they will fall, of that I am sure" says Sparhawk.
Poacher reaches into his pack and pulls out a vial of Alchemists Fire. He takes aim with a steely eye and throws the bottle at Bone Construct 1
"Thats gonna splash!" shouts Rizzit.
"I love the smell of Alchemists Fire in the Morning. It reminds me of..." Says Poacher midthrow."... i missed." The vial explodes just infront of the Ranger,. splashing him and Rizzit, but not hitting the Construct.
"Ouch! Ya er. Aiya! Aiya!" shouts Poacher, patting out the flames on his arm.
Rizzit seems unaffected by the splash damage from the Alchemists Fire. "Oh I love the feeling of fire on my scales."
Coleridge shouts over to Poacher "When you've finished playing with fire over there Poacher, there is a fight going on here!"
"Bullseye sic Skelington er." Said Poacher in vain. "I said get him you little ." Bullseye starts to lick his Bollocks and ignores the smelly Ranger.
Rizzit fires his light crossbow at Bone Construct#1. The bolt strikes the bone creature but seems to do no damage.
Beltain says to Limara "Go for it Princess - Are you sure that you are getting more damage from blunt weapons?
"Limara strikes at Bone Construct#1 with her heavy mace, but she misses her target.

ROUND: 6
Beltain swings the crowbar experimentally - he wonders how good a weapon this will make in unhinging these constructs of evil.
Sparhawk again strikes at Bone Construct#2, again he hits it hard, but only some damage gets through.
Feng fires his Sling at Bone Construct#1, but the bullet hits the temple wall harmlessly."Thats still a girls weapon Feng" says Rizzit.
Beltain moves 5' and hits the animated bones with the crowbar. He connects and does some damage, but less than he had hoped for.
Beltain looks at Limara "Sorry, Princess, but I feel a bit of a pratt fighting with iron bar! By the way did I mention that you look stunning today?"
"Nicely done Bel.... err, how come you can wield a crowbar so well ? ....and thankee sire" Limara feigns a brief kirtsy.
Bone Construct #2 again attacks Sparhawk, but misses.
Bone Construct#2 attacks Limara and hits her hard for (12) damage. "...ouch.. you boney er....!!!""You Ok honey?" calls Belain, sounding very worried.
"That'll teach me for pissing about when i should be concentrating ..ya, im fine ... my pride is injured more than my body" Limara just about manages a grin from her blood spattered face.
Beltain smiles "Hey Princess, wouldn't it be better is Poacher hit it with his "blunt weapon" - or do you think that it might be just a bit to small to worry the monster?"
Limara dodges back and forth staring intently at the construct, looking for a chance to even the tally.
Sparhawk glances over "A challenge methinks, 6 of you (7 if the dog helps) on that foe and me on mine....lets see who drops their enemy first" Sparhawk says with a grin
"Well thats a generous challenge" replies Limara "But you are a fighter its what you do... ok you're on. Have to say though, some of the attempts on this construction are not doing much..."
Sparhawk smiles "There are six mayhap even seven, and most of you are battle trained on your side...i must say it is at best an even challenge methinks"
Limara nods "I am starting to think that a basic training in the art of meatshielding is a must. It would suit my religious outlook, and i do like the fighting skills you have at your disposal. ""It would seemeth to me that this battle may take some time, so I feel a little light hearted challenge should help the time pass"
Sparhawk glances at Limara before fixing his eye back on his foe "Rule 1 Limara is one must keep calm in battle, the field is no place for loose emotion"
Limara laughs "heh, i know battle techniques and strategy, planning also ... but its your skill with a blade , your effectiveness one-on-one... my job as a battle cleric would oversee a battle, while you are actually IN it....and as i am not likely to be assisting an army of 500 any time soon, .. the thought of being a fighter cleric sounds quite tempting"
"As you wish Limara, blade skills are good to know, my forte is on the back of Faran with a lance howe'er". The Garrison to the Throne are all hand picked highly trained warriors, but are trained to become one of the mightiest calvary units"
Limara replies "That is a speciality i will leave to you... it would take up too much of my time to learn cavalry techniques. "
"Agreed, forasmuch as a warrior cleric you wish to be, your healing is of paramount import methinks" says sparhawk.
"True enough.... the faster i learn to raise the dead, the happier i'll be" replies the Red Knight Cleric.
Sparhawk laughs a booming laugh "Tis very true, and I think this party will be most appreciative of it too"
"..aye, hopefully they will be patient enough to wait for me.. " Limara smiles.
Sparhawk looks at the bone construct in front of him "Forgive my laughter, I do take your challenge seriously"
Rizzit speaks up "I could always blast it and be done with the fight but I had hoped to save some magic in cast we encounter anything tougher here. If Spar doesnt mind a small burn i can get both into a cone."
Feng snorts "Battle is made up of a series of single combats - the best man wins. Every time. Not even a horse and a toothpick can change that. What you need is a BIG AXE!...I'm serously thinking of getting some heavier armour, though."
Feng glances down with unconcern at his gashed and bleeding torso "I'm getting some nice scars to impress the lasses, but it's the loss of blood that slows ya down."
"Why dont you take a step back and drink a potion bud" says Rizzit, looking at the badlt wounded Barbarian.
"What? and miss all the fun?....Callin' me a puff?" retorts Feng. "Anyhow - the bullets are at least blunt - so if the hit the bone, I should shatter these babys"
"If you hit" snaps Rizzit.
"Yeah - you are right." nods Feng "I havent had enough practice at sculking at the back and shooting my mouth off - you reckon ol' Poach will give lessons?"
"He is an expert but i think he teacher manner may leave something to be desired" replies Rizzit.
Feng turns to the bard "C'mon Cole - slap this famished er!"
Coleridge fires again at Bone Construct#1. He hits, but the bolt does no damage. "Damnation, even when i manage to aim this thing correctly i did not seem to harm the creature at all"
Poacher takes a deep breath and gets out his last jar of alchemists fire. Surely this time he cannot it up. He throws it in a wide arc and it impacts on Bone Construct#1, burning the bone creature for (4) damage. "Eat that you ing ." Snarls the Ranger bitterly. "I ing hate undead me."
Limara and Beltain, who are standing nearby, take splash damage from the Alchemist's Fire.
Poacher shouts at his dog "Bullseye stay there you er." Bullseye looks up from it's testicles to look at his master. He vaguely snarls and resumes his groinal interest.
"Rizzit... they dont like fire... delay your attack until after Bel and Spar so they can step back and give you a clear shot.." Says Limara as she blows out a small flame on her shoulder."
"Thanks Poacher that was a nice throw. Good to know this bag of bones is vulnerable to something" says a still smoking Beltain.
"Nice to know that friend bones still has a round of burning to go - maybe just enough to send it to hell, where is deserves to roast for all eternity"
Two missiles of magical energy dart forth from Rizzit's fingertips, the missiles strikes unerringly, causing (9) damage to Bone Construct #1.
"That should shake the bastard up!!! Good shooting dragon kin" cheers Beltain.
The cleric swings his crowbar, looking for a vulnerable place to aim his blow.
"Think you guys can handle this one now I had better help Sparhawk out next time" Rizzit grins evily.
Limara takes a swing at the construct, it knocks her weapon from her hand. She takes a 5' step away from the foe.

ROUND: 7
Sparhawk continues to battle Bone Construct#2 on his own. He looks accross at his companions, they seem to have damaged thier skeleton a similar amount. He smiles to himself, hes doing good he thinks.
He swings his longsword again and hits the bone creature once more.
Feng's rage Subsides. Feng feels fatigued.
Rizzit implores Feng "Just grapple it to the ground and smash it up. Throwing pebbles at it is not doing anything."
Feng nods, looking exhausted "Rizz - Reckon you are right - this is a crap weapon!"
"Yep, must be something more up your street than a sling" replies the Kobold.
Feng looks at the floor, and the dropped weapons scattered about "I'd dive in - I'm just a little worried about stubbing my toe on all that Iron-mongery lying around in there."
"What was wrong with you using a bow as your missile weapon?" asks Rizzit.
"I dont have one any more - I lent it to Poacher. Typically, I never got it back." replies Feng.
"You really expected to see it again?. Why didnt you buy one?"
"Ran out of brass. Still broke.I'm so broke that robbing Walter when we get to the big smoke is looking real attractive"
"jeez Feng, should have asked me if you needed cash"
Beltain swings at the construct but misses, he then steps away.
Bone Construct#2 finally manages to hit Sparhawk for (7) damage.
Bone construct#1 moves 5ft and attacks Rizzit. The skeletal creature misses the kobold. "haha, the slippery little er lives to fight another day you piece of boney crap"
"methinks luck was watching over you this day neighbour" says Sparhawk.
"hehe, think you can handle that one Rizzit.... you patronising little lizard" says Limara.
"Better than you can handle that mace, m'lady! hehe Just joking, honest!" Feng shows a fang.
"That would be the mace i didnt give to a man that cuts bits of my body off as a souvenior?? " replies Limara curtly. "... seems like this temple is starting to make us all a bit moody "
Rizzit puffs out his chest "Say what u like I have still done the most damage in a single hit to one of these"
"Well done... i'll make you a badge" says Limara bluntly.
"wahoo, i never had a badge before.....whats a badge?" asks the kobold.
"Lay on some mighty healing magics o wise ones, and I will smite this pile of bones, Mightily." says Feng.
Beltain replies "Sorry Feng, can't reach you without moving past the constructs"
Feng sighs "I dunno - I thought you guys took an oath or sommat - crawling out under fire to rescue stricken allies an' such?..Don't worry - I'll get to you somehow."
"The Princess is nearer... if you ask nicely" says Beltain.
"I reckon she prefers pain to pleasure - dont want to chance it, thanks - I'm a little fragile at the moment."
"To her friends she is warm and caring, to her foes she is an avenging angel. So it's up to you - whose side are you on?" states Beltain.
Feng replies "Hey Belt - I love the lass, but, as a wise man once said "I don't trust anything that bleeds for a week and don't die". hehe" Feng looks suddenly sober "I Hope it wasn't Poacher."
Beltain looks solemn "I will take those words of wisdom as a slightly bad joke, I'm sure that no insult was intended."
"Gotta watch what you say around clerics Feng," says Rizzit "They are awful touchy for some reason, must be something to do with all that praying."
"Yar! I recall a warrior orc that pissed off a Shaman once - no prizes for guessing who was the next offering to Gruumsh at the old moon!" Feng smiles a trifle nervously at Beltain and Limara.
"Alright then Feng lets bolster your damaged life force so you can show us some of this vicious fighting you keep expounding about" says Coleridge as he moves over to the barbarian and casts a cure light wounds upon him. Some of Fengs wounds heal, but he is still hurt. Having cast a heal on Feng, he bends down to retrieve his sword.
"Wonder what other useful tricks poacher has to impress us with this time" says Rizzit looking at the ranger.
Coleridge smiles "Now that the beast within a range where it can hit Poacher i would imagine it will be something along the lines of the secret soil myself attack, however, in Poachers case it may be hard to tell whether he has or not."
The construct again takes damage from the Alchemist's fire before it burns out.
" i'm out of bastard napalm." says the ranger. Poacher takes a 5 foot step to the left then rapidly fires two shots that Bone Construct 1. Knowing that it probably won't do an awful lot of damage. One arrow hits, but does no damage.
"Fat lot of ing good that did." Says the rangers as he looks at his handywork. "Attack it you little ing ." Says Poacher to his dog.
Bullseye looks to have found a really interesting tasting part of his testicles, as he doesn't even look up to his masters as he completely ignores him.
Rizzit withdraws to cower behind Feng, as he withdraws Bone Construct#1 hits the Kobold for (5) damage. Rizzit's Earthsilk Jersey stops a little of the damage.
Limara summons forth the healing power of The Red Knight, curing Feng of some more of his wounds. "..remember Feng, i will be taking half the damage you take with my shielding spell..help Spar, i will finish the other if the rest dont beat me to it"

ROUND: 8
"lets wrap this fight up now guys I am getting my exploring feet drawing me away alread." says Rizzit excitedly.
Feng breathes heavily "Here's a thought - tired as I am, I could grapple Spar's beast, and once it's on the floor, everyone else could kick the out of it?, What's everyone reckon?. If you want me to do more that just heap abuse on it, I've got to pick up another weapon - that's gonna delay an attack, anyhow."
Sparhawk has a look of determination on his face to drop his foe as quick as he can, he once again strikes the construct, but still it stands.
Feng drops his Sling and Picks up Limara' Mace "OK - Attack it is - as soon as I get the feel of this!" Feng gives a few practice swings with the unfamiliar weapon.
Beltain moves in and attempts to hit the bone construct with the crowbar, but again the cleric misses.
The Bone Construct attacking Sparhawk once again misses the warrior.
Bone Construct#2 moves to attack Poacher, its skeletal hands hurting the ranger for (8) damage. "You ing undead piece of ing . Once your negative energy filled ing ass is on the ing ground i'm going to ing piss all over you you ."
Coleridge drops his crossbow to allow him the freedom to fight effectively with his sword "let us finish these beasts, i'll use my sword again, some damage is better than none which is what i achieved with my crossbow." Coleridge swings with his Longsword and hits. The Construct falls to the floor in a pile of bones. "Die you abomination"
Poacher rapid shots two arrows at the remaining Construct. One arrow hits, but does no damage.
Bullseye looks up from licking his testicles, and notices the bone construct. Upon seeing the huge bones his eyes widen to comic character proportions and he charges in drool flying. The dog fails to damage the construct.
Poacher looks around at the party, specifically Limara and Beltain "I cant ing believe that one of you useless god bothering s hasnt thought to try and turn these bastards. Its not complicated, where did you learn clericing, the ing temple of the Red ing Spastic knight".
Two missiles of magical energy dart forth from Rizzit's fingertips, the missiles strikes unerringly, causing (2) damage to Bone Construct #2.
"Rubbish damage" says Rizzit.
"WHAT...How dare you defile the name of my god...." Limara states coldly,"that was one step too far. You can say what you want about me, but that is beyond the boundary of toleration. NO ONE insults my god to my face without justice being served.."
Limara moves her hands and recites some words. She casts Hold Person on the ranger. "Now stand there a while and repent your comment, and thank your stars that my recently discovered compassion for life, even yours, limits my response. PLEASE do not insult my god again, say what the hell else you want but leave my god out of it. "

ROUND: 9
Poacher feels the magic hit him, a second later he realizes he is ok, he can still move. The ranger must still be in shock at Limara's attack, as he doesn’t speak initially.
Coleridge shoots Limara a look "Maybe if you concentrate on the fight in hand, you can be of some use to your fellow traveling companions... there will be plenty of time to play silly buggers with Poacher later."
"I was concentrating on the job in hand, but i am a red knight cleric... your comment of disapproval should be directed toward the ranger not i, for it is he that is causing the problem." replies Limara.
"For all his discourtesy and foulness of mouth he was engaged in defeating the foes before us, rather than making attacks on his fellow party members... the issue of his comments could be resolved when others of us are no longer in danger of harm from undead abominations" states Coleridge.
"I have not attacked him, just tried to stop him talking for a while. The spell would cause no damage. My response is well tempered.... if he had said that a couple of months ago i would have tried to kill him. " Retorts Limara.
Coleridge sighs, "You have allowed your emotions to affect your judgment, not something I would expect from a disciplined battle cleric"
"It has nothing to do with emotions, he insulted my god to my face. I am a cleric.. a representative of that god... it was justice that i served nothing else... you are wrong Col"
"I too have my faith," says Coleridge "But my God shows the way of wisdom and knowledge, not rash actions, words are cheap and can harm noone sure in their faith"
"Our gods follow differing paths Col, mine is a god of Law, a noble war goddess that fights for justice. My god uses wisdom and knowledge to keep the forces of chaos and evil away. Though her lawful ways do not tolerate over zealous goodness either."
Poacher looks down at himself, checking he is ok, it seems the ranger is starting to dribble..

Sparhawk and Feng both wade into the last standing Bone Construct, killing it.
With the last foe down Beltain angrily turns to Poacher "You must understand that there is more to living creatures than their puny bodies. The clerics are the messengers of gods and seek to protect their souls as well as their bodies. Poacher is foul-mouthed as you have said but when he resorts to blasphemy or heresy it is far beyond the limit and endangers his very being. I have walked the plains of the Fugue and know from what fate Limara sought to save Poacher, better you give thanks to Limara for her act."
"What the ! " Says Poacher in surprise. "You ing attacked me! You ing attacked a ing party member! YOU ING ATTACKED A ING PARTY MEMBER IN THE ING MIDDLE OF ING COMBAT WITH A ING MONSTER YOU ING CRAZY, DANGEROUS BITCH!.
He continues, "As for what is beyond ing limit. I spoke ing words. Words don't ing hurt. Words are just ing words. That crazy ing slut ing attacked me when we are ing trying to fight for our ing lives. I'm ing insulting. I admit it. But insults are just bloody words. Even if they are ing heretical words they are still just ing words. She attacked me. She ing put us all at ing risk. SHE ING BETRAYED US!. I want her out! It's the ing last ing straw. Not only is she a terrible ing cleric. Who incidentally picked a ing hold person spell over a ing heal. A ing spell that she didn't use to help the ing party but used to attack it. When will she ing turn on the rest of us when we say or ing do something she doesn't like? When will she ing put us all at risk again? By malars cruel i can't ing believe this. "
The ranger turns to the party, imploring them "You cannot let her get away with this. She has to ing go."
Coleridge looks at Beltain "I cannot give thanks for such an ignominious act when she shows so little thought for the others in the party, we are mid-battle her actions hardly seem likely to aid in victory.. for a follower of a goddess of strategy this strikes me as uncharacteristic."
Rizzit looks at the ranger "Poacher you talk all the time and verbally abuse everyone except your "good friend" (nudge nudge wink wink) Sparhawk. So expect people to crack and strike back from time to time. If anyone should leave the group it is you, you lack any respect for your fellows. Lets face it soon the majority of the party will have attacked you at some point."
"If anyone is going to go - it's you, Poacher." states Feng Bluntly "I can't think that trying to freeze you "puts us all at risk" - I reckon she deserves a medal" the barbarian looks at Rizzit "its like a badge, Rizz,... for restraint!. She's doing what she thinks is right - perhaps you should try it sometime? I really don't know why, but she's trying to save you from a fate worse than death, after death. If it was us to me, I’d have flipped a coin and tried to stuff this mace either up your arse, or down your throat - but she's more refined than me." He looks again at the ranger "Want to make something of it?"
"It seemeth to me things have not changed within this party" Sparhawk sighs "I for one am getting a little tired of this. Everyone knew Poachers foul mouth and every one knew his rash temperament before we set out, whilst he may have offended I do not see the logic in using a hold spell upon a party member especially in mid battle and also when it may have been use another time......Feng should thou wish to draw arms against any in this party it will be my sword you cross with, Now let us sort ourselves out, this is not solving anything"
"Indeed Sparhawk" nods Coleridge "What you others are quick to dismiss in your own dislike for Poacher is that despite his foul and often derogatory mouth, which as Sparhawk says, i would think you would be used to by now, he has done nothing by his actions except to try and help the party during this encounter. Whereas Limara you have willfully endangered others in the group by ignoring the battle around you to exact petty vengeance on a fellow party member
Feng sneers "So that's why Poacher is so far up your arse, Sparhawk - You are his minder!"
Rizzit interjects "I would point out that Poacher said he was going to kill me in my sleep, not something and inspires much confidence in him."
Coleridge looks at the kobold "Again Rizzit i point out that we all know Poacher to be a disgusting foul mouthed, stench ridden, cowardly individual whose vocalizations are generally no more than that just words which cause harm to noone. Whereas Limara is supposed to be a follower of The Red Knight, from what i know of her mistress she promotes a calm and logical approach to things with a doctrine which dictates that war is won with the best planning, strategy and tactics, regardless of the apparent odds... It seems to me that it is neither well planned or strategic to be attacking your own party members when they are engaged in battle with evil undead monsters.. its strikes me as a flighty and rash reaction whatever the comments made and smacks of a switch in allegiance upon which her deity looks most unfavorably.. in fact her actions smack more of those of a follower of Garagos than those of a follower of The Red Knight. You speak of your deity also seeking balance Limara, any form of balance requires opposites otherwise things become out of balance, so surely your deity accepts that all are not going to agree with or favor her, therefore so should her followers". Coleridge re-sheaths his sword and retrieves his crossbow from the ground.
"No harm yet!" replies Rizzit "I think I would like some assurances from him before I sleep anywhere near him in future. And I agree Col the middle of a battle is not the best time to address an issue with Poacher but that does not excuse Poachers behavior towards his comrades in arms"
"It's not behavior Rizzit you dumb ." replies Poacher "My BEHAVIOR is ing flawless. It's just ing words. All it is is ing words. Now attacking a member of the party. That’s ing behavior. She is out of ing order. Pure and ing simple. Why do you ing useless bastards equate ing behavior to ing words?. Something needs to be ing done about her. Does she have the ing right now to attack anyone?. And lets not forget the terrible ing thing i said was just a ing critical question. WHY didn't you try and ing turn them?"

Rizzit, looking bored with the conversation, walks into the courtyard of the temple.

The open sky hangs over this 50ft wide courtyard. A 30ft high arcade completely encloses the middle of the courtyard, in which stands a single ash tree. Bones and skulls, deliberately entangled in the tree's foliage, bob slowly as the wind sweeps its uppermost branches. More bones and skulls litter the ground near the tree's roots.

Sparhawk enters the courtyard "Ok lets get this place searched and back to the task in hand neighbors. We can discuss these issues back on the moonsea ride"

Limara looks at Poacher "No one else in this group would be evil enough to speak heretical words about another party members god. So as that means that no one else in this party would insult my god, then i would never take an offensive action toward them, indeed the only spells i would cast on them would be beneficial." She looks at the bard "Cole, you honor me by knowing of my god. But unfortunately you are wrong about my remits as a cleric of the Red Knight. To blaspheme right in front of me could not go unpunished, but as he is a party member i only cast a hold person spell on him, this is a harmless spell that just shuts him up. As for endangering the party, again i think not. Both weasels were dead as was one of the constructs, the other was all but dead and both Spar and Feng were pulverizing it. Poacher was offering no protection to the party and was doing no damage to our foe either and i was unarmed and could not attack the enemy. Both you and Rizzit were watching the doorways.... and i guess that answers your statement about my strategic assessment being less than thorough. But i say again, as far as im concerned the matter is over. And i will say again.... people can say what they want about me and be as rude as they like, i will not react violently, they are 'only words'. But i CANNOT tolerate a blasphemy about my god. If you can get Poacher to just curb his heresy then we have no problem."
Limara nods to Sparhawk "Spar is right, we should get this place searched then head back to the road"
Beltain speaks again "If it was just words Poacher then you will have no problem in recanting right now. You know the power of words in both religion and magic and this was deliberate provocation in the middle of a fight. I have severe doubts as to whose side you are on - anyway an apology and commitment never to blaspheme again would be a good start. I would hope that the other party members would not only revere their own gods but also afford respect to the gods of other party members. This was not an insult to another party member, that in itself would be rude and distracting in the midst of a battle, but a direct insult to a God." Beltain swaps his Light shield for a buckler and stows the crowbar and takes up his longsword. His face is flushed and he is clearly very angry.
Feng looks at Poacher "Tosser!...If you think that being held is an attack - you are very mistaken!". The barbarian walks over to Limara. "Your Mace, Lady. A nice enough weapon in it's way, but I prefer a BIG AXE!" Feng picks up his sling, and hangs it from his belt, them retrieves Laskur's Bane from its hook. "You've helped me in the past, if there are any issues to be resolved with party members - you stand not alone, Lady. That pox-mucked whore's cleft has something that belongs to me - until I get it back, we are not friends."
Coleridge once again speaks "I agree we do indeed need to make sure there are no more nasty surprises awaiting us here, and you and Poacher are free to resolve this issue in whichever way you both see fit now, my grievance was with the fact you decided to try and deal with this issue mid-battle not that you in turn felt aggrieved by Poacher's words. As you say it has turned out alright, but happenstance it had not and you had been needed to turn the tide of events, I’m afraid you have gone down in my estimation Limara." Coleridge his piece said walks through into the main courtyard and takes in his surroundings, in particular examining the tree
"Careful in there, Cole" warns Feng "I reckon there's bad MoJo here. Who can we get to sing of our heroism if you croak?" The barbarian still looks drained "I'm feeling sick and weak from the weasels - anyone have a cure for that?"
Beltain also advises the bard "Cole I think you would be advised to avoid getting too close the those piles of bones - they may animate. It might be better to let our master of magic see if any of them are magically endowed before venturing too far. I would also like to remind you Cole that the person that deliberately provoked Limara, in the middle of a battle, was Poacher. Ask yourself why did he do this? I am amazed that Limara acted with such restraint and even more surprised that you would go along and support such blasphemous words, does you own god mean so little to you?
Limara smiles "Thanks for your support guys. "
Coleridge turns to Beltain "As i just said to Limara Beltain my grievance was not so much that she took offence, but did not have the restraint to wait until combat was finished to deal with it... and as for my feelings towards my own god, i would not find myself so easily provoked, as i say he is a god of knowledge and wisdom is open to the opinions and ideas of others, and should those be in conflict to expostulate and debate would be far more favorable than resorting to less cerebral methods. And as you have traveled with Poacher before i would have thought you too would be used to his derisive commentary by now"
"I don’t think you ever get used to Poacher" comments Rizzit.
Coleridge continues "I would no more take up arms against him because of his coarse, insulting and sometimes disturbing diatribes, than i would against one of those dispossessed guttersnipes who you frequently see wandering the streets in the larger cities holding discourse with themselves should they say something which is diametrically opposed to my way of thinking." The bard gazes up at the branches of the great Ash tree.
Rizzit moves his hands in a arcane motion and casts Detect magic at the Ash Tree.

Beltain replies to Coleridge "First, to call someone a ing spastic is not an invitation to a stimulating philosophical debate. It is an insult. Insults are designed to provoke and annoy. Agreed." He continues, "Poacher is insulting to a number of party members, trying to provoke a response, on some occasions he will be successful. On this occasion he was and it was in the middle of a fight. The response was measured and surprisingly mild. In all cases the blame should go to the person that instigates the problem, Poacher, rather than the provoked". "You just can't excuse behavior by saying that's just the way Poacher is, or you will have to allow others the same lame excuse. Such as demons are not evil it's just that torture and killing is their thing man, it just doesn't work. Try, try and get him to change his ways"
Beltain addresses Poacher: "Well if it is just words Poacher you will have no trouble in recanting you insult to the Red Knight and apologizing to Limara for any offence caused" Beltain walks to Limara, squeezes her hand and whispers something in her ear, he then returns to his position to the archway. "I also suggest that Rizzit should not be left in front by himself when there is a dangerous Ogre about" he concludes,

Rizzit looks up at the great Ash tree “I have detected nothing of note Bel, maybe Poacher can use his woodland skill to check the tree for tracks or signs of life. He must be useful for something"

Poacher addresses the party "Ok you ers. Lemme deal with you one at a time."
Poacher turns to Limara. "Ok. I was insulting about your god and you got your ing knickers in a twist about it. I apologize. If that'll ing appease you i'll ing do it. I hate all ing gods, they're manipulative s who ing spend there time vicariously living through other like great ing parasite and i ing hate them. But if you took offence it's no ing skin off my nose to apologize. So I’m sorry ok? However that doesn't actually answer my ing question. My question was: Why the didn't you try and turn the ing bone constructs? I notice that you're happy to throw those useless ing spells around that mean that YET again you haven't picked any ing heals. But it doesn't explain why you didn't try to turn those undead. Anyway that aside. This is ing blowing out of proportion. I've apologized for my insult. Any chance that you'll apologize for needlessly ing attacking me?"
Poacher turns to Rizzit. "Ok. Now your ing turn? What were you saying? I threatened to kill you in your sleep and now you're worried about it? Ok. Get this. I. That's me. Was ing joking. You know. Humor, banter, mock threats. Don’t get your in hankers up over it you temperamental little beastie. You may not ing believe it but you're actually ing growing on me. And lets not ing forget that when you when down in the last ing adventure it was actually me who ing brought you round. Not exactly the ing actions of someone who means to ing kill you is it?"
Poacher turns to Feng. "What was it you said? 'Until he gives me back what’s mine i won't be his friend' ? Well you've had so much fun stewing in your own indignation and ignoring me since we brought you ing round i thought why spoil your fun? You've obviously had a ing whale of a ing time. You had 6 ing weeks to come talk to me about it. But no, you rather ing simmer in your own little self-righteous fug of anger. Did anyone actually tell you why i cut your bollock off? We were in a brief lull between zhentish attacks and things were looking grim. I took a bit of you because i thought that would help get you raised at a later date. And as for the choice of bit? Well that was ing pure ing comedy. Surely you can ing appreciate that." Poacher reaches into his pack and withdraw a lump of rotten meat. He lightly passes it to Feng. " There you go. Can we be ing friends now?" He adds mockingly.
Poacher finally turns to Beltain."Ok now you. What was it you ing said? Words have power? Like magic? Well thank pal, does that mean I’m a ing magical insulter. Do i have the special powers or access to special spells? "Power Word: Annoy" ? Or "Mordenkainen's Inflaming Insult"? "Melf's Acid Quip"? No i don't think i ing do. My words are just ing words mate. I ing suggest you get the over it. I mean i understand that you're backing up your regular shag and that as a cleric under the ing thumb you have little choice to do otherwise. But man, she's a big ing girl and can look after her self. And she is awful ing trigger-happy with the ol' Hold Persons. Though i suppose you could hold her ing coat. Oh and while we're at it. Why didn't you try to turn the ing undead either?"
The ranger concludes "Ok. That's me done. I've ing apologized and explained my self. Shall we get on with the ing killing of monsters and gathering of treasure? Or do you wanna have another ing go at me? Perhaps you'd rather ing wait until we start or next ing fight?"

Beltain replies “I didn't try to turn those Bone monsters because I believed them to be constructs and not undead. Who knows I may have been wrong?. So I stood face-to-face with them and hit them, while I think you were somewhere at the back giving out gratuitous advice and doing no damage to them.”

Poacher drinks a potion of Cure Light Wounds and begins looking around the tree area for tracks. "I can't see a ing thing."
Rizzit moves along the arcade to the east and continues his checks for magical Poacher checks out the pile of bones in front of him. Wondering if it is another Bone Construct.
Rizzit says to Poacher "Hey bud we may be the most vocal and consequently disliked members of this party but at least we are doing something, what’s that bunch of slackers doing stood scratching their arses back there?"
Feng calls to Beltain “Hey Beltain - can you heal me please? I'm still a little knocked around. Who knows when the next bloodletting will occur?”

Limara gives both Sparhawk and Feng a cure light wounds potion from her belt.
"Use these when you see fit to..." she says to the pair of them.
Feng immediately chugs back Limara's Gift. His wounds heal. Feng notices a backpack and bedroll lying on the floor north of the party. “Whose's Kit is lying over there?” The barbarian then looks to Poacher “Poacher, I am sorry. I have misjudged you. You are clearly one of the bravest and most caring people here, and I am pleased to travel with you for a time. I'm sorry you feel so un-appreciated.” Feng opens his arms wide whilst clutching his axe “Want a hug?”
The half-orc barbarian snorts expressively and messily and stamps off after Limara.
Rizzit smiles "I concur old chap, his jolly quips really help raise the spirits in these difficult times"
Limara looks across the courtyard at the backpack and bedroll lying on the floor “I wonder who is owner of that backpack? "
Coleridge speaks “I'd suggest asking Poacher to track the owner of the pack, but with his recent magnificent demonstrations of his tremendous ranger abilities, unless the owner recently wandered through some luminescent paint i wouldn't hold out much hope” Coleridge walks over to the base of the tree and gazes up into the branches
Limara laughs. "Col, can you heal yourself or do you need a potion?"
“I can cast another heal Limara and then I’m spent for the day figuratively speaking”
Limara puffs on her cigar: and, with perfect tongue action she rolls the cigar from one side of her mouth to the other.
Coleridge hums a brief ditty and erases some of his injuries.
Rizzit says "Can I get some little healing please, I am quite badly hurt for a little guy"
Limara looks at the kobold "my weakest cure light wounds does more than you have lost... i could do a couple of minor cures” She moves toward Rizzit and casts two cure minor wounds. The kobold looks healthier.

Limara grins "It is most convenient now i have the ability to spontaneously cure. Maybe that’s why i don’t pick curing spells anymore.... eh Poacher??"
Rizzit looks toward the bard who is under the Ash tree "Hey Col you see any apples on there? I am starving"
Poacher looks up from the ground under the Ash tree "I've looked about and cannot find and ing tracks. But I’m out of ing practice. So did you ers even listen to what i said? Rizzit do you ing accept that I’m not gonna ing murder you in your sleep? Limara do i ing get an apology now that i have apologized? Feng are you happy to have your bollock back? Beltain.... er... it. I can't even remember who you are most days."

Suddenly Poacher notices movement to the north. Coming into view from behind the cover of the great Ash tree is a Ogre. With the Ogre is another strange creature. It is lean, has cloven hooves, curly hair and black eyes.

The ogre speaks to the other creature as he spots the party "De Dont look like Pilgrims...you were right...Hoograg will smash anyway"

Beltain turns to Limara "Better heal yourself quickly Princess, this looks serious. I have read of such forest creatures, followers for a long dead god called Pan, they can charm folk, seducing the senses and making them perform lewd acts to their will"
Beltain continues "Remember that you are still tied to Feng by your magic’s and any injury he suffers will also be felt by you"
"Lewd acts? Sounds like my kind of Beastie. Kekekeke." Laughs Poacher.
Feng smiles in satisfaction “At last! Blood is to be let, and loot is to be had!. Poacher - if you can snick off the bollocks of one o' them - then I'll be impressed!”
"Well i'll try Feng but i ain't ing Promising anything.” Replies the ranger “Ok you ers let do this right. One Melee per beastie, one cleric per melee. Missile and magic concentrate fire on one er at a time. Which should we take down 1st? I say the fawn bloke, i reckon he'll be magic suppose for the big ing ogre. We don't want the er charming any of us. Concentrate fire and magic on him. You ers agree?"
Rizzit says "well I used all my magic up on the constructs as you melees were taking so long"
“You Ok Poacher?” comments Beltain “It's just that it sounds like quite a good plan...
Rizzit smiles "All the time with his nose up Spars arse must be rubbing off on him"
“Anyone got a tanglefoot bag?” ask Beltain “The Ogre will be a big hitter and it would be good to take him down with missile weapons.”
Coleridge smirks "I hope that wasn't a comment of a prevocational nature there Riz, heaven forbid you give cause for in-fighting during combat"
Poacher snaps back “My ing plans are always ing good you s. They are designed to keep me alive. But you ers never notice coz you're too busy ing whinging on about how i called you a nasty name. You bunch of ing girls."
Rizzit says "I thought there was no problem with using 'words, as they don’t hurt anyone' "Rizzit tried to mimic Cols voice but sounds like a wheezy bellows.
Coleridge chuckles to himself
Rizzit says "Dont take this the wrong way Poacher, its only words but I hope that Ogre s you hard up the arse"
"I'll try anything once. Though i hope he uses a Kobold skin condom. I don't wanna get pregnant." The ranger retorts.
Feng snorts “in' Poacher up the arse would be like slinging a chip up an alley.”
Feng shouts “ROOOAAAAR! FIGHT FENG!! FENG IS HERE!”
Limara speaks "I'd say Poachers tactics are sound, if we act as a team. This is gonna get messy...people, call your targets, let the group know ...all range fire at the potential caster." She turns to Beltain “Bel honey, as i am already helping Feng can you watch Spar for me.."
"Ok you ers” shouts Poacher “I AM calling the missile Target. Mister ing Tumnus over there with the ing hooves. Fill him full of more pricks that you'd get at an elfish bards convention."

ROUND 1
Beltain cast the Bless Spell again, as the previous one had expired. All allies within 50' of him are filled with courage.
Poacher slips a potion of Mage Armor from his potion belt and quoffs it down. The ranger soon realizes that it does nothing. It seems he didn’t realize the spell would not work if he were already wearing armor.
"Come 'ere you little ." Snarls the ranger at his pet dog. Bullseye wonders who that annoying voice is. He goes back to sniffing his arse crack.
Rizzit casts the Shield Spell upon himself. An invisible, tower shield sized mobile disc of force hovers in front of him. He then moves to the entrance to give him cover for firing
Feng comments “Need a swig of elf courage, do we ladies? Or have we forgotten how to pull our bowstrings?” Feng smirks at his manifest wit.
Rizzit says "I will be firing from the safer position back here buddy, my small frame doesn’t stand up to much rough treatment"
Poacher replies to Feng "I believe preparation is the first step to victory you big ing lummox. We'll leave rushing in half ing cocked to the previously dead members of the party shall we? Kekeke."
Feng snorts “You better in' had - there’s no chance of you rushing in anywhere except a knocking-shop, arsewipe!.” The barbarian looks down at his groin area “And who are you callin' half-cocked?”
"Hahahahahaha. Stop it. I'm crying here." Laughs the ranger "All i'm saying is lets not ing pluck defeat from the jaws of ing victory here ok?"
Feng furrows his brow.
Poacher notices that the furrowing takes some time. Feng appears to have alot of brow.
The hoofed creature moves forward and casts a spell. The grasses, weeds, and the Ash trees roots wrap, twist, and entwine about Coleridge and Bullseye. Coleridge manages to be only partially entangled, but Bullseye is held fast.
Limara casts a cure light wounds upon herself. "Wait 'til you see the whites of their eyes Feng..."
Feng squats down in the lee of the fence, drool slicking his chin.
Sparhawk moves into position and gets out a potion
Coleridge wades through the grasping plants “Get ya filthy tendrils off me you damn dirty grass”. The bard makes it out of the area containing the tree and back into the paved courtyard. Once clear of the plants faces his companions and begins to caper around on the spot whilst delivering a poetic oration. To the observers it feels like it should be a cringe making and embarrassing to watch experience, but instead it is surprisingly uplifting. The bard Inspires Courage in his allies.
The Ogre, Hoograg advances toward the party.

ROUND: 2
Beltain retreats east and sheaths his sword.
Poacher fires a single shot at the strange satyr type creature. The arrow impacts on the creature causing (5) damage.
Rizzit moves into a better position. Awaiting the adversaries to come closer.
The hoofed creature moves his hands in strange patterns and casts a spell upon himself, and then moves behind the ogre.
Limara recites battle scripture. Inspiring her allies. "The buffing is done,... let the battle commence". Limara moves under the archway giving Feng the chance to move nearer when he sees fit.
"Nice one, my lady" says Beltain to Limara as he adjusts his helm and plans his next move.
Sparhawk drinks down a potion of cure light wounds. He throws down the empty vial and draws his sword.
Coleridge takes a step out of the way, to give Feng a clear path, then loads his crossbow. He continues to recite his poem
“My friend says his muse”
“Sits on his shoulder and whispers gently in his ear”
“Her words become kisses that”
“Ripple through his soul”
“Stirring inspiration from a thankful mind…”
The ogre Hoograg moves to attack. He swings a huge greatclub at Sparhawk. It hits the warrior hard for (15) damage.
"Ok neighbors, I have him right where I want him" says Sparhawk, looking a little dazed.

ROUND: 3
“I can see that Spar, way to stop his club with your head” says Coleridge.
Beltain takes a 5' step NW and gets sling and sends a shot streaking towards the Ogre. It hits causing (10) damage.
Poacher fires at Bremdoch the tiefling, but misses. Bullseye remains Entangled.
Rizzit moves to a better position and shoots at the ogre with his crossbow but misses.
"Nice shooting, Beltain!, Bad luck Rizzit!, Your an , Poacher!, Let no-one say I don't play favorites!" snorts Feng.
Bremdrock moves into position. He puts a "double headed" Flute to his lips and begins to play. The area is blasted with a tremendous cacophony. Feng, Beltain, Coleridge, Poacher and Sparhawk all take (8) damage from the blast. Sparhawk is stunned and drops his shield and sword to the floor.
Half of Feng's damage from the Soundburst is transferred to Limara via the Shield Other Spell.
"You are mine, Goatbreath!" snarls Feng at the Tiefling.
Limara moves to Feng and casts a spell. A shimmering magical field surrounds Feng. The spell is Shield of Faith.
"Get in there Feng and chop that ogre down to size..." says Limara.
Feng moves and attacks the Ogre. The Ogre definitely has a greenish tinge. Feng's attack misses.
"Do ya want some, ya big tosser!" Feng Gestures at the ogre.
Coleridge shakes his head to remove the ringing from his ears. Coleridge eyes up the huge ogre in front of him and hops nimbly from foot to foot ready to dodge any attacks.
As the ringing in his ears subsides he continues his poem.
"My muse lounges on a bar stool"
"Propped up on my shoulder"
"Oft falling off with an audible thud"
"While in a drunken stupor,"
"Usually after using up my daily limit of animal messenger spells"
"To invite satyrs and nymphs"
"To drink all my booze."
Coleridge then sights down his crossbow at the ogre and looses a bolt. His bolt hits Hoograg for (12) damage.
Hoograg attacks Sparhawk once again.

ROUND: 4
Beltain, shakes his head, eager to clear the ringing in his ears, he only half-hears the Bard continue with his recitation. He takes a step back and takes out a scroll. He reads the words of healing, and cures himself of (7) damage.
Poacher takes a 5 foot step to the north and west. Placing him behind Coleridge and only leaving Feng in the way of his shot a Bremdrock. The ranger takes aim and fires at the Tiefling.
Poachers shot hits the tiefling for (6) damage. "Take that you goat faced ." Yells Poacher
Bullseye remains entangled
Rizzit reloads his crossbow and fires another bolt at the Ogre, missing he steps back another 5'.
Poacher turns to Beltain "Beltain you ing . Stop ing healing your ing self and get on with healing your ing tank. Sparhawk is HEAVILY ing wounded and you're healing your ing self? Is that a ing twats trick or what?"
Bremdock puts the double flute to his lips and plays. Suddenly Feng feels he cannot move. He is HELD.
Bremdoch then moves behind Hoograg.
Limara addresses the teifling.." a smart tactical move. Lousy tune though.."
"We've got to take that er down. Quickly" comments Poacher.
Limara removes a scroll from her pack and casts its spell at the annoying flutist. The tiefling shrugs off the effects of Limara's Hold Person.
Rizzit says "nice try Limara"
Poacher nods "Aye. Was sure ing worth a go. Though i'm suprised you didn't heal yourself or Beltain. Hehehe."
Feng, through sheer force of will, breaks free from the hold person spell.
Poacher screams "Get that ing ing ing bastard ing goat faced ing . Before he does more ing damage."
Limara nods at Feng as she sees the barbarian overcome the hold spell "Well done Feng, luck smiles on you"
Sparhawk shakes his head, he is no longer stunned, he takes a 5' step back and goes "Total Defence"..."Neighbors a heal if possible please, thus I can regain my weapons and return to the fray forth with"
Feng snarls "I Fancy some goatskin leggings!..in' magic me, ya prancing ponce!"
Coleridge shuffles back to avoid the extensive reach of the Ogre who he still eyes up ready to Dodge
Coleridge rapidly reloads his crossbow and sights at the ogre once more.. first he continues his verse
"She disappears to frolic on foreign shoulders,"
"Returning days later"
"Hung-over and wretched"
"Smelling of cigars, liquor, and the sweat of sex."
Coleridge fires at Hoograg but misses.
"Bad luck" Beltain mutters under his breath as he waits for the Ogre's reaction to the attack.
Hoograg attacks Feng, hitting the barbarian with his huge great club (11dmg). Feng's Earthsilk Jersey stops a little of the damage, and Feng feels half his wounds being transferred to Limara.

ROUND: 5
Beltain takes out a scroll and reads it curing a few of Sir Sparhawk's wounds.
Poacher takes a 5 foot step forward and then fires a brace of arrows at Bremdrock. Both of Poachers shots flew poorly and Bremdrock snickers at the inept archer
"ing bastards. ! ! ing erty !"
Rizzit loads yet another bolt into his crossbow and fires again at Hoograg, he again misses. "dammit, so close"
Bremdock casts a spell upon himself, he is surrounded by a field of multicolored hues..
Rizzit, watching the tiefling cast says "that was some kind of clerical protection spell but I am not familiar with it, maybe Limara and Beltain know more"
Limara replies "..he has cast an entropic shield spell on himself.... all our range attacks will have a 1 in 5 chance of being deflected."
Limara takes out a scroll and cures herself of some of her wounds.
"Go for it Feng. Give the big lump a cleavage" yells Beltain, eager for a chance to hit again
"FENG KILLS! KILL THE OGRE! FENG IS GREAT!" Feng takes a massive swing at the hulking form towering above him. He hits hard, wounding the ogre for (10) damage. "Huh! Just a gentle tap this time, ya big twat!"
Sparhawk bends down and picks up his sword, as he does so the ogre strikes at him but misses. Sparhawk attacks the ogre, hitting hard with his longsword. The warrior causes (15) damage, and the green ogre slumps to the floor, unconscious and bleeding.
Limara says "nice hitting guys.. try not to kill them outright, it would be better if we can take them back alive, but unconscious, to Peldans helm. Catching the ogre that’s been causing them problems should get up our reputation. Not to mention the reward...."
She turns to Feng "Feng, you could try grappling the teifling. If you get him to the ground we can bundle on top pin him down. I can manacle him up. Then we can get some answers out of him.... and maybe the location of any loot he robbed.. to show thanks for sparing his life" . Limara smiles a bit too sweetly.
Beltain glances back, looking back at Limara "That's sneaky thinking, but good advice non-the-less, it's aside of you I hadn't seen before Princess. But all the sides I've seen look pretty good so far" he whispers more to himself than anyone else, his face shows a half-smile as he turns back to the battle.
Coleridge drops his crossbow and draws his sword before moving in on the remaining foe. He continues with his recitation as he moves.
"She possesses my tongue"
"At the most inopportune moments"
"Oft causing embarrassment"
"and impromptu trips to the apothecary and mediks"
Coleridge moves nimbly around his new target ready to dodge. He swipes at Bremdoch with his longsword, but misses. Coleridge curses as his blows completely fails to connect

ROUND: 6
"This battle has turned to our favor I think now" says Rizzit.
Poacher snickers "Which is just the ing time for things to go ing wrong. Don't count ya ing kobolds before they're ing hatched."
Beltain rushes forward, dropping his sling and drawing his longsword. He reaches the Satyr and swings the blade. The blade bites deep for (7) damage.
"Die goater!" Poacher fires two arrows in rapid succession at Bremdrock. Both arrows hit for a total of (12) damage. The tieflings Entropic Shield did not stop Poachers arrows.
"Nice shooting poacher, makes a change from just shooting your mouth off" comments Coleridge.
"Nicely done neighbor" says Sparhawk.
"A brace of good ing hits! GET IN THERE SAUSAGE!!!" Poacher looks at Coleridge "Ho-ing-ho. Listen to the great ing whit there. Thanks though. They were ing top notch shots if i do ing have to say so my ing humble self. Kekeke"
Bullseye continues to struggle in his entanglement
Beltain looks over his shoulder as the two arrows hurtle over it and thud unerringly into the cloven hoofed horror. If Poacher had had his usual luck in aiming then that would have been me, he thinks. "Great shots, Poacher" he says out loud.
Rizzit once again fires his crossbow, this time at Bremdoch, but again the kobold misses.
"Bad luck, Rizz - about 10ft to the right, and you would have been -on!"
Bremdoch steps back and attempts to cast a spell on the defensive, but fails and looses the spell.
Limara states to the teifling "surrender now teifling or you will surely die. Your healing spell has failed and our fighters are moving in to finish you as we speak...drop your stuff and put your hands on your head, surrender or die." Limara says to the party "...if he surrenders take him alive, if not , try n keep him in a coma... i'll stop this ogre dieing, they'll want him alive to answer for his crimes"
Limara casts a cure minor wounds on Hoograg and stabilizes him. "lucky we brought the cart..." she says out loud, looking at the large unconscious green ogre.
"Do what my fair college requests and surrender NOW!" Beltain orders Bremdrock, his sword is raised and ready making the alternative quite clear
Rizzit says "we need him conscious to tell us about this place so try not to kill him, use attacks designed to knock him down"
"Are you ers out of your ing minds?" shouts Poacher. "Why the are you healing a ing ogre? Were ing healing monsters now? Perhaps we should just have ing done with it and move into a ing dungeon!"
Poacher continues "Why do we have to take it back alive? Just take it's ing back. We won't get any more money, and i for one have no ing intention of dragging that two ton ing monstrosity through the woods. And as for ing goat boy. KILL HIM!"
Rizzit replies "shutup Poacher, it would be nice just once to get some info before we continue, like whats the deal with the tree and where the loot is hidden"
Beltain interjects "I think that the questioning is worth a try Poacher, and if goat-face doesn't want to cooperate to save it hide, then your could have a free rein with it...You could even give it as a plaything to ."
Feng looks into the Fauns eyes, grimacing wildly and flexing his muscles and he waves his axe around his head "One chance, goat-er! Surrender now!" Feng attempts to intimidate the Tiefling. The tiefling looks less than impressed.
"I am telling you bro its the sling, your never gonna intimidate anyone carrying that" says Rizzit. "sooner you burn it the better"
Coleridge smilkes "I dunno he musta been quite scarey, smells like Poachers soiled himself... tell a lie i think the winds changed, its just his natural odor"
Feng smirks in spite of himself
Poacher says "Ok lets capture the ing goaty one. But why the are you healing the ogre? This idea to ing take it back to town is . Who's gonna drag the dead weight er to the cart? that, i'm putting some arrows intro him."

Beltain speaks "OK, Poacher has made his views clear - what do the rest of the party think and are we happy for Poacher to take our decisions for us? For myself I don't much care if the Ogre is alive or dead BUT I do want him taken back for the reward. If we get a bigger reward for alive then my vote would be for that. If Poacher really wants him dead then he can make up the difference in the reward."
Rizzit replies "I wont be happy with killing the ogre as we decided to take him alive already, but then I wouldn’t expect Poacher to act for the party just his selfish self"
Beltain turns to Sparhawk: "Can you keep Poacher in check?"
Sparhawk replies "I myself am of a mind to agree with Poacher, how did you plan on moving the beast secondly what do you think they will do to him in the town?. As I see it Coleridge was happy for the ogre to die, Poacher wants to kill him , Beltain does not really care...so how is this a party decision , pray tell me Rizzit?"
Sparhawk then attempts to grapple Bremdroch. He grabs hold of the Tiefling, but the creature manages to wriggle from his grip.
Rizzit says "Just do as you please, as usual. I dont care about taking him back but I would like to know where they stash their loot and what is going on here, I dont want to see us do as we did in the Zhent citadel and leave with many questions unanswered. Kill em after we have some info if you like I dotn care about lugging em back to town"
Rizzit says to the tiefling "why are these two here? What are their plans? Have they hidden treasure somewhere? What’s with the tree and the bones? What’s in the back room? Are there any traps? You know these answers Spar?"
Sparhawk says "perchance i thinketh this hoofed creature is the brains of this outfit, the ogre merely the brawn!..."
Rizzit nods "Yeah but if he don’t come up with the goods we have the ogre still after we kill him, or if the ogre is in thrall to the satyr the threat of hard to the satyr may be enough to make the other talk. They can be killed anytime but once dead they can tell us nothing, I feel I’m making a valid point here Spar do not just dismiss it out of hand meerly because is comes from a Kobold"
Sparhawk replies to the kobold "It has nothing to do with your race...i simply asked you how it had been a party desicion when others had stated the contrary and i had not offered any opinion...you are very quick to jump at Poacher...yet was it not you who has always moaned about the bickering and sniping? you of late have been as much the instigator as anyone"
Rizzit says finally "just hold off killing for now, we can decide as leisure later"
Sparhawk replies "We are on an escort , that is the task I gave my word to do...I care little whether these live or die, either way i want to return to the job at hand as soon as possible"
"Ok. This is ing stupid." spits Poacher "You shower of s. a: who said the ing reward was more cash alive? No one did. You haven't heard it or read it anywhere. You're just assuming. Why would the towns folk be happy if we brought a live ogre to him. b: If we take him prisoner instead of killing them here we cannot deal with them later coz you lot will come up with some ing weird 'not mistreat prisoners' rule. C: Instead of ing asking these ers where their treasure is we just ing look around for it. Sheesh guys. These are ing monsters for s sake. Get some ing perspective. What we gonna be doing next? Pay for prost trauma counseling for them? Perhaps we can write to the local Ogre's union and ask them to pay sickness benefits for it while it's out of action. Are we ing monster slaying adventurers or ing social workers?"
Coleridge ceases his poetic recitation and moves round to flank the tiefling. Coleridge addresses the tiefling "Yield now, your companion is down, you a severely wounded and hopelessly outnumbered. By continuing to fight all you guarantee is your own demise. If you value your life and that of your companion surrender now or suffer the consequences for the remaining seconds of your life"
Coleridge tries to strike the creature with the flat of his sword but is unable to connect whilst it struggles with Sparhawk.

ROUND: 7
Beltain moves into the spot previously occupied by Cole, bring back his arm and punches the Satyr on the nose. The tiefling falls to the floor unconscious.
The battle is over.
Belatin attends to Bremdroch, stabilizing the creatures wounds.
Both Feng and Beltain feel an increase in thier abilities after this battle (Both go up to 3rd lvl)
The party loot the unconscious bodies of thier foes. All they find of interest off of Bremdroch and Hoograg is the double flute.
As Hoogrags armor is removed from his body, the party notice that the green ogre has a withered third arm growing from the center of his chest.
"ooh Gross" says Rizzit, before he detects the bodies for magic and then focuses his Detect magic spell at the tree again.
Rizzit says "ok guys the flute as you would expect is magical, up in the tree is an old Hoe that also appears to be magical"
The kobold continues "When you have them all trussed up who is going to heal one to just conscious and question them? I suggest you keep poacher away from the satyr, you know what is like with hoofed animals, baaa, baaa.."
Coleridge speaks "If the legends are correct then the hoe in the tree belonged to Bogren, the peasant boy who became the great adventurer i told you about... the story goes when they were trying to persuade him to help rid the area of the athach he threw his hoe into the ash tree saying that if it fell back to earth they would leave him alone to continue life as a farmer, but that if it stayed in the tree he would leave his humble life and become an adventurer, which of course he did.. the hoe remained in the tree and this temple to Silvanus built up around it."
The bard continues "You may also recall the creature from the story called Theelsaz was an athach - a three armed giant... by the looks of Hoograg here i would say he is of the same species and it would go some way to explaining why he is desecrating this place."
"Is the hoe valuable?..why is it magical?" asks Rizzit.
Coleridge replies "I would imagine that it probably is valuable to the right people, as to why it is magical i cannot say, Bogren was just a simple peasant farmer until he left that life to become an adventurer... at the time he threw the hoe into the tree and it didn't fall back down it was speculated that Silvanus himself had interceded by animating the tree branches to prevent it falling back down... whether it is that possible intervention by a God that has made it magical i couldn't say but it is a possibility."
Beltain dances a little jig, highly pleased with his new level, he then notices the others, blushes and stops. With a twinkle in his eye he heads over to Limara and kisses her hard on the lips - It's good to be alive he says!.
"who is good at climbing trees?" says Rizzit.
Coleridge moves to where the backpack and bedroll are. He picks them up and brings them back to the party. Inside the backpack is some gold (300gp) and what appears to be old pilgrim robes.
Beltain turns to Cole "Does the story tell what magical powers the hoe possesses?"
Coleridge replies "As i said at the time there was no mention of it being magical.. he was just a peasant farmer, i would speculate that its Silvanus' intervention which has caused it to become magical"
"A magic hoe created directly by a god, this sounds very impressive" says Beltain, and valuable he thinks
Coleridge chuckles "I could be wrong my friend, the information i work with is the stuff of legend from a bygone age.. it is speculation on my part"
Beltain peers through the fence, I wonder if this was to keep the pilgrims out or to keep the tree contained he wonders. The height of it would indicate the later.
Coleridge says "The locals at the time built this place up around the tree under the guidance of Pimaris the Silvanus priest.. The ash itself was believed to be an oracle of Silvanus. Again probably why those creatures have defiled it by putting the bones and things in its branches."
"something we need to ask them" says Rizzit looking at the Tiefling and Green Ogre captives.
Beltain nods "If we have the time, I would suggest questioning under a Zone Of Truth - A spell which I would be able to cast - tomorrow!. Are we planning to look through that last arch to the north, I would suggest that we only do that after we have questioned the Satyr and Ogre."
Feng snorts "Nice job, people! Now who is good at knots? we need to tie these bastards up, but good. I'll interrogate them, if no-one else has the stomach for it. I recall how the tribal shamen prepared the prisoners that the tribe took on raids - getting answers out of these two should be a piece of cake."
Rizzit cannot stop his inquisitive streak and he runs across the courtyard to look through the arch to the north that the party have not yet checked. It seems to be a bedroom.

The north wall of this rectangular room is decorated with a clay bas-relief depicting a 7ft tall, full figure of Silvanus. The god plays a double flute between two stylized mountains and appears to be walking on water.

At the back of the room rests a wooden bed with a pillow. At the foot of the bed sits a small chest. A 3-foot tall clay urn also stands in the room on a metal trivet.

The kobold returns to the party.
Limara locks a set of manacles on hoograg and on bremdrock. "The idea to take them alive was mine, i suggested it and no one disagreed or spoke against it. We certainly wont get less reward for taking them back alive and the cart we have can easily carry them......if we can information from them, it might help our journey. The village is only a couple of hours up the road, after we check here, we could pop back, collect our reward and be on our way. What do you say Spar? .. i know you are keen for us to be on our way. Can we spare a few hours ..What do you all think? .. Peldans Helm would doubtless hold us in good favour for it and that would further our growing reputation too. The better our C.V., the more likely we are to attract quality work. "
She continues "..lets not forget that the press are hungry for stories and this would put us on the front page, again! No Toes and Big Nose brought to justice by.... we really need a name.....and although 'Miss Pussy and the bunch o' s' is both amusing and distinctive... i serious doubt whether the courts of Corymr would look kindly on a party trying to register an obscene name, let alone allow it. At some point in time, maybe when park for the night, we should get a list of names together and vote for one of 'em."
"How about Fellowship of the Keep." offers Beltain "Has a nice ring to it and means that we don't forgot our beginnings and success against those foul Zents who were almost the death of me!"
He adds "I would have suggested using the word roost, but then we'd get all the chicken jokes at every inn we stopped at..."
"A healing potion would be appreciated lady as i am out of heals for the day" says Coleridge to Limara.
Rizzit interjects "scrolls would be cheaper than using up potions..Here Limara use one of mine on Col and save the potion" he says handing Limara a Cure Scroll.
Beltain bends over the unconscious Tiefling "I will bring the Satyr round for questioning, but passes the task of posing the questions to someone else..."
Beltain casts a cure minor wounds upon the unconscious Tiefling. Its magic proves enough and the Teifling awakes.
Coleridge snarls and tries to look imposing, a feat which largely fails especially when observed by anyone who knows the bard
Beltain calls out to Rizzit to come over once he sees the teifling awake "You'd better answer before the Kobald gets here, they are vicious little bastards --- and this one is hungry -- he has a preference for sweetbreads..."
"Good to have you back us Bremdrock, very sorry to have to tie you up like but your previous hostile behaviors makes it necessary" says Rizzit striding over. “We would like to ask you a few question and would prefer some answers without the need to resort to more violence. Would you care to tell us about yourself and this temple you are living in?"”
“Don't you listen - It's a Stayr and its making us have lewd thoughts!” says Beltain looking at Limara.
"I will answer none of your questions. if you are going to kill me, be done with it" replies the Tiefling.
Rizzit says "please do not be like that, we are not going to kill you, we simply need information
Feng spits at the creature “If I'm gonna kill ya - I won’t just be done with it - it's gonna take a lot of time and you will beg for mercy before the end. Play nice with my friend Rizzit - if he says we ain't gonna kill ya - you can trust that - ok…Besides - do ya want me to prove ya right?”
Feng takes out his sling, and tears it into pieces with his teeth
Bremdrock looks at Rizzit "Im not going to help ya...best thing you can do ios let me go free"
Rizzit says "ok wake the big feller up and gag this er. lets see if he wants to see me eat this ers balls"
Bremdoch does not look intimidated by the kobold..
"look as brave as you like, you had your chance to talk and didn’t want to, now your just meat for the knife"
Bremdrock says to Rizzit "Get them to release me, ill cause you no harm..i will leave here"
"You had your moment, shush while my friend here ties your gag on" states Rizzit.
The tiefling sits. Looking at his captors.

Bullseye barks and come running out of the center grass area. Seems the entangle has worn off...

Feng, Coleridge, Beltain and Rizzit all fail to get any information out of the Tiefling..Coleridge sighs "It appears my talents do not lie in the areas of intimidation or interogation... perhaps someone a little more violently psychotic may have better luck". He looks pointedly towards Poacher who, given the opportunity to torture and manipulate a helpless captive, is strangely quiet.Coleridge stands up "I'll leave you guys to see what you can get from this thing and the Athach.. I'm going to check out the room to the north i imagine its the old priests quarters perhaps something can be gleaned from there if our captives are not so forthcoming."
"I will follow you Coleridge, I am a knight not a tormentor" says Sparhawk as he follows the bard. Leaving the others with the prisoners.
Coleridge heads north along the collinade and into the room at the northernmost end. He enters the small room. He searches throughly. He checks out the urn, but finds nothing of interest. Coleridge approaches the chest. He spends a while knocking meaninfully upon it. He then swings the lid open.

Inside Is: *Ivory drinking horn rimmed with silver *Small Golden Bell *A Golden Bowl *A Clay Statuette of a Weasel

"Here have a look at this stuff Spar." says the bard "I would imagine its religious vestments of the temples original owners, but why wouldn't those two have wrecked em like they have the shrine?"
"Mayhap they had a fear of opening such a chest?" replies the warrior. "let us take this discovery back to the party, they can maybe tell us some more from their learnings and magic"Coleridge nods "Well i see nothing else of interest in here, lets take this stuff back over with the rest of our findings.. but first i'm gonna take a better look round make sure i didn't miss any secret doors or compartments with my initial cursory look around Coleridge makes a slower methodical search of the room. But still finds nothing.

Coleridge and Sparhawk drag the chest back to the rest of the party. The tiefling is looking very weak.

Limara says to Coleridge "Col... can you move nearer, i need to stay within 30' of Feng to keep my spell working.." Limara gets Feng and Coleridge to move a few feet so she can cast a cure light wounds scroll on Coleridge. Coleridge is healed of some of his wounds.
Limara turns to Bremdrock.. "Listen to me outsider. We do not intend to kill you, we are taking you back to face justice for your actions. Now, i'm guessing that you are acting in the name of Silvanus, is that true?" Limara removes the gag so Bremdrock can speak. "Or are you defiling this temple as well as attacking travelers?. You might as well come clean... it good for your soul"
"I have nothing to say" replies the Tiefling.
"..Ok if you have nothing to say, then there is no need to delay the journey back to town then." replies Limara as she puts the gag back in the Teiflings mouth.

Beltain looks at the items in the chest carried by Cole and Rizzit. "The items from the chest are religious in nature and almost certainly used for ceremonies to Silvanous. I believe that removing it from this shrine would be an act that would defile this place of worship to this god of nature."

"Can we get to the killing now?" asks Feng "Or do we ship 'em back to the dirt-scrapers to kill?. Don't get me wrong - I don't care - whatever gets us the most money."
Feng appears wistful for a microsecond "Ya know, I almost wish we could let them go. I mean - without this pair of bastards, life must be sooo boring for the villagers. Almost - but then, I'd miss the reward!"
"You ers are unbelievable” says Poacher “Taking an ogre prisoner... hehehehe... dip shits. He'll have a chance of breaking the manacles.. and any rope we use... Because.. wait for it... He's got... Wait for it.. OGRE STRENGTH!!!.. Stupid s."
Poacher looks at the chest, the loot off of Bremdroch and Hoograg, and the contents of the backpack "So. What treasure do we ing have? May as we look at it before we have to defend our selves again."
Rizzit says "Is one of you healers going to get this ogre conscious as I keep asking?, and are you guys happy there are no hidden passages or anything in that back room?, I thought every respectable temple had a dungeon underneath it"
"I dont have a cure to waste on the ogre.... the plan was to talk to the brains, not the knuckledragging sidekick." replies Limara.
Rizzit sighs, "do as you please with them I am bored of this now" Rizzit looks up at the great Ash tree "Is anyone going to get the hoe out of the tree?"
Rizzit then goes to the back room and starts a slow an exhaustive search for any hidden doorways, like the usual sliding altar. He finds nothing more than Coleridge did though.
Limara looks bemused, and was obviously not listening when Coleridge relayed his story regarding the shrine to the party. "What hoe ?... oh, a garden hoe... heh, well spotted.... good idea, evidence... maybe a villager knows who's it belonged to."
"Yeah. Lets get it. says Poacher "It's a ing holy artifact and taking it will probably de-sanctify the ing temple... Cool.. Can i piss on the tree too?"
"Has it detected magic ?" asks Limara.
Beltain nods "Yes the hoe is magic and Cole told us that he thought it was ordinary until embued with magic by Silvanous."
Poacher nods "I think some er mentioned that it did aye. I wasn't listening much though. I hardly listen to you s much these days. You keep coming up with ing stupid ideas like.. TAKING A HUGE ING OGRE CAPTIVE!!"
"Kekekekekekekekekekekeke." Poacher cackles to himself malignantly.
"It was no more effort than killing him... " Replies Limara.
"You won't say that when i comes to ing dragging the huge to the cart. A man unconscious or dead is bad enough.. An ogre? Feng and Spar will make good fighters with hernias. Kekeke. I just find it funny that we have so little grasp on reality that we'll try to capture a ing ogre. It cracks me up it does."
Limara looks at the ranger "You never know, the extra moneys we may earn for bringing them back alive might pay for a decent longbow for ya... it certainly wont net us any less than if they were dead. Anyway if we get to town and they want them dead i'm sure you can oblige."
"What? You think the villagers will THANK us for bring them a live ogre? You really think that?" replies Poacher.
"Its in a coma, and yes i do.... they will want justice. " says Limara.
Poacher replies "You do think that? What? We walk up and say "Hey villagers heres the ogre thats been troubling you. They'll a brick. They want it's head. Not it alive. "
Beltain interjects "Them shitting a brick would be a bonus!. They weren't that nice to us and it makes the point about a reward."
"You guys. I love you. You're better than travelling around with a troupe of ing clowns. I know what we should call our selves. The Bloody Mummers... That describes us perfectly." laughs the ranger.
Beltain moves into the grassy area surrounding the Great ash and looks about. Cautiously he starts to tidy the place up separating the human from the animal bones and placing them reverently to one side. He spots at least a dozen human skulls in the tree and on the ground, he sighs and continues his task.
"So can i kill the ogre then?" asks Poacher
"You can shag him for all I care" replies the kobold, returning to the party.
"Heheh..Cool... Can i used you as a dildo?" laughs the ranger.
"Well at least he might feel that" retorts the kobold.
Poacher smiles "I've never claimed to have an ogre sized . Although i have claimed that you ARE a kobold sized ."
Coleridge speaks I don't think it is an ogre, that third arm, withered though it may be, would indicate it to be an athach if the description of Bogren and Theelsaz is accurate... I am afraid i know nothing of the nature of the species though other than that Theelsaz was described as violent and destructive, but he was also blackmailing the inhabitants of Peldan's Helm which would indicate he was not completely without intelligence and therefore as a species they may not be quite as intellectually challenged as ogres.. Theelsaz was also described as giant in size, now whether the this is just poetic license in the telling or perhaps Hoograg here is a juvenile or sickly, as would be indicated by his withered arm i don't know"
The bard continues "This is all speculation on my part, and when it comes down to it, it makes no nevermind for i think we should kill the brute as Poacher suggests, he has been terrorizing the area and has tried to kill us, he deserves to die... his head should be enough to fetch any reward that may be going in Peldan's Helm."
"Aye. I agree with Coleridge." says poacher "Even though he said it like a ing homme. Kekeke. If it's a three armed giants we should kill it. I mean, aren't gauntlets of giant strength better than Gauntlets of Ogre strength? I'll break any chains we have like string. And it's got three arms, What if it can regenerate like a troll? Lets kill it ing sharpish."
Coleridge turns to Limara "Limara it seems you are the only one who cares to keep this thing alive or believe it will be more rewarding that way, i see no mileage in lugging it around lets serve justice here and take its head back as proof."
Coleridge draws his sword and executes a coup de grace on the athach. With the creatures head severed, Coleridge states "That i believe precludes further debate on the matter."
Beltain emerges from the grassy area. He comes out to see Coleridge bringing back his sword to administer the killing blow on the helpless Ogre, some people just act to annoy others he thinks sadly, and don't seem to think about rewards being smaller.
Sparhawk watches on, his face showing no emotions..."when we are all finished and ready can we please get back to the job at hand? I can see this becoming another fun filled journey"...he walks back to the archway.
Limara looks on at Coleridge as he decapitates the Ogre/Athach creature "I gave my word i wouldn’t fight against the party and i wont... i think you are wrong to kill them and think they should face the villages justice. Oh, and if my suggestions for party actions are so wholly unwelcome, i shall cease to offer them. It was unfortunate that your disapproval came after the event. Still i know now." Limara walks outside of the temple and begins trudging the short way through forest, back to the horses and cart.
Bremdrock looks on as the Hoograg is beheaded, the Tiefling splutters, but his words are lost under the gag that is tight around his mouth. Rizzit pulls the gag off, "one last chance before your head joins his" The Tiefling gasps "Ok..ok...but i have no information really to give. I came to this area about 6 months ago, this shrine was abandoned. I met Hoograg who was living rough in the forest, we made a pact to work together, pool our resources, and we used this place as our home. I have no information about the god who is worshipped here, and i care not. Over the months several pilgrims turned up here, obviously not aware that the shrine had been empty for a while. Myself a Hoograg saw this as a good opportunity for treasure and Hoograg enjoyed thier flesh. That is all i can tell you. Return me to Peldan's Helm if you must, but i give you my word if you release me i will leave this area forthwith, and not return"
"So is this loot we found all there is? as you have been around this area for 6 months have you seen anything that may be of interest to a group of adventurers?" Rizzit asks.
Bremdrock nods "Yes, i found this double Flute here, we decided not to touch he items in the chest, they seem like ceremony items." Bremdrock pleads "Now please, let me go, surely as a Kobold you would understand i will not receive a fair trial..humans can be so....racist"
"What about any other groups of monsters in the area? you seen anything?" Continues Rizzit.
Poacher buts in "Right. If you guys are bent on taking this er back to justice, i'll go along with it. This is at least less ing stupid than trying to drag back a ing ogre. The only thing i will say is i hope this doesn't turn into a proper trial. I hope to we don't have to hang about and be witnesses and such. Coz it's our word against Mister-ing- Tumnus here. And we got our own monster so i'm sure they'll think we can be trusted."
Rizzit replies angrily "Hey feng may not be the best looking amongst us but monster is a bit strong"
Beltain continues to tidy the area around the Ash Tree collecting the human and animal bones separately. The stops for rest at intervals and studies the activities of Sparhawk, Poacher and Coleridge but does not interfere. Then he continues the work, finally scrapping away the earth in one corner to provide a shallow grave to the house the bones of the dead pilgrims. He covers the remains with earth and says a few words commending their souls to their god. After finishing up he looks around to make sure all is tidy, brushes his hands off and heads out of the shrine.
Rizzit says "I thought you were getting the hoe not tidying up"
Beltain wanders around the front of the shrine looking for Limara and muttering to himself...Not seeing Limara Beltain returns to the rest of the party.
"Can someone get the hoe down, Belt seems to be too scared" states the kobold.
Sparhawk speaks "Neighbours lets decide what it is we are doing, and start to get whatever we are taking back to the horses!"
Rizzit nods "I agree, this place is boring now" Rizzit exits the shrine
Beltain says “I think leave the religious items (unless they are magical) we don't want to offend the gods. I also think leave the magic hoe (what the hell does a magic hoe actually do?) but I really don't have a good idea about that. The Ferret may be the best thing there... Is it magical Rizzit?, Plus the pipes - don't forget the pipes!
Rizzit replies "Its not magical, but I want to carry the ferret, its not magical but Wizzy would like it"
Coleridge speaks “I tend to agree with you though Beltain about the loot i'm not up for upsetting the deity of this place so would leave the religious vestments” Coleridge turns to Bemdrock "What do you know of this flute and its powers then?" he snarls.
Rizzit nods “The flute looks like it could be pretty handy for you Col.”
Bremdrock replies "The pipes cast 3 spells, Hold Person, Soundburst and Scare, all once per day, but you need to practice at playing it, you need some musical skill" The Tiefling continues "I have seen no other "monsters" in this area, and myself and Hoograg never noticed the Hoe to be honest." He looks at the party "So, is my fate to be taken to Peldan's Helm, if so, i will speak no more, i have given you all the information i know"
Beltain goes out into the entranceway and examines the plaques...
Coleridge continues to question “The bones that littered the arcade were they yours and Hoogrags doing, or was this temple like this before you arrived?
The tiefling speaks "The bones are from the Pilgrims and horses that Hoograg ate." The tiefling bows his head and speaks no more.
Rizzit takes the Clay Statuette of a Weasel and moves out of the shrine. He then makes the short trip through the forest back to the horses (about a 10 min journey).
Beltain speaks "Well, the Ogre's death achieved what our threats did not, so in this matter I was wrong." Admits Beltain "I think that we can move on now?" He move out towards the shrine gates, watching Coleridge as he goes. "Shall we rejoin the others?"
"Hold up. Rizzit” shouts Poacher after the kobold “How do you know that the statue of the ing weasel isn't magical when you haven't cast detect magic. I think it IS magical and you've recognized it for what it is. A figurine of wonderous power. That ing figurine is party ing treasure."
Poacher picks up the Bell, the Bowl and the Ivory drinking horn and put them in his pack. "I'll look after these till it's time to split 'em. Coleridge catch." Adds the ranger as he throws the pipes to the Bard
"Cole gimme a hand getting this ing Hoe then."
Coleridge catches the double flute “I will carry the coinage and the flute for the moment” The bard looks up at the rusty hoe in the tree. “Sorry Poacher, i think that hoe is only of religious significance and i have no desire to piss off the deity of this place” Coleridge mumbles pretty much to himself "As i already seem to have pissed of half the party in this place"... he yanks the tiefling to his feet "c'mon you" he snarls in command and begins to drag him out of the temple
Coleridge looks back at Beltain as he watches him briefly, but then breaks eye contact appearing uncomfortable holding his gaze.
Sparhawk sighs, "Then if we are done here neighbours let us head back to the horses".
Coleridge slaps his forehead "forget me own head next... well somebodies head anyway" Coleridge walks back into the shrine and retrieves Hoogrags severed head, placing it in his spare backpack
They leave the shrine. They leave the shrine. As poacher leaves with the items he got from the chest a lound CRACK is heard. Inside they can see the Old rusty garden Hoe, lying cracked on the ground under the Ash Tree.

 

[tariff]

BACK ON THE ROAD

The party emerge from the forest. Coleridge leads the bound and gagged Teifling.
"At Last!..Our escorts Return!" shouts Dierdre from the back of the cart.
"How are we transporting goat-boy and this" he shakes the sodden backback containing Hoograg's head "back to Peldan's Helm?"
The bard continues "I'm sure our employers are anxious continue on their way so we can't really nab the cart... a couple of us could escort him back, collect any reward and return to the party... there shouldn't be much trouble catching up again as you'll only be moving as fast as the cart. But i'm open to suggestions if anyone has a better solution"
Walter looks nervous "...Well, i dont mind...aslong as a few of you brave adventurers stay to guard us...i get awfully nervous"
Sparhawk mounts Faran after checking his steed over
Beltain walks over the Limara and gives her a hug, obviously very glad to see her. "Poacher took the religious items and the Sacred Hoe broke, its magic gone." He tells her. There is a small film of perspiration on his brow. He glances behind him to where Feng and Poacher stand listening and says no more. He moves over to his horse ready to ride out.
Dierdre notices the Tiefling "Oh my god...WHAT IS THAT!"
Rizzit says "Why dont we just all ride to Peldans Helm and dump him off, its not adding much to the journey and it keeps everyone together"
With that he urges Beaker forwards, returning the way the party came towards Peldan’s helm.
Beltain urges Walter and Deirdre into the wagon. We have to drop the prisoner off at Peldan's Helm - we don't want him with us for too long! I expect that you feel the same" he adds. He then mounts up and sets out leading the wagon after Rizzit
Beltain says to Coleridge "Are you riding with the Satyr - or will he travel on the wagon, because if he does he will need a guard..."
“I'll guard goat-boy. He can walk along of me.” Interjects Feng.
Beltain nods "Thanks Feng - He'd be a fool to try anything with you around!"
“I think your right he's best left in Feng's capable hands” Coleridge pushes the tiefling towards Feng before moving over to his horse and mounting up.
The tiefling is loaded into the back of the cart with Feng, Dierdre and Walter. They set off for Peldan’s Helm. It journey takes almost 12 hours.

Time of Day: 10:35 PM. - Nightal (The Drawing Down) 22nd, 1372 The Year of Wild Magic.

PELDAN'S HELM
This forester's town of 80-odd folk is home to many rangers, hunters, and woodcutters. It stands as a refuge to all in Beast Country, the perilous western end of Mistledale. The Helm began as the freehold of a retired Cormyrean soldier, Peldan Faern. He chose this spot as his own by driving upright the two-handed sword he had borne in battle into the ground and claiming all the land in sight of his helm, which he had placed atop the sword. Everyone in the Helm claims descent from Peldan now. His helm and sword hang in the rafters of the local meeting hall, which is used at various times for freevote meetings on matters of importance, militia patrol assemblies, and worship services for all woodland and good-aligned faiths.

Peldan's Helm does not present many sites of interest to see: Citizens live in stone cottages and emerge in large, well-armed bands to plow fields or go into the woods after game or trees to fell. Carving and furnituremaking is done here, and strangers are only encouraged to enter if they have business with the folk within.

Despite the Helm's wary nature, many adventurers and game hunters from Cormyr and Sembia seeking wall trophies come here and are welcomed. Every monster slain is one less to menace the folk who spend their lives here. These courageous, hard-working folk are still unable to even stroll in the woods with a loved one without sword in hand and a horn at their belts ready to cry alarm if they are beset by danger too great to overcome or flee from.

Adventurers come here to gain experience in monster-slaying and in hopes they will be among the lucky few to actually find treasure hereabout. Mist-shrouded western Mistledale reveals the past more than elsewhere, since farmers to plow the stone relics of old holding walls or the bones of ancient battles away are fewer. The Dale has often been the site of pitched battles over the years, since it is one of the few places in the Dales where armies (especially cavalry) can assemble in large formations without being hemmed in by trees where archers can harass them from concealment. As a result, battle spoil left behind when priests and wizards used earth-twisting spells to bury foes alive or embattled forces buried the fallen in hasty mass graves without stripping bodies for valuables is plentiful. Every spring plowing turns up something of interest and sometimes something of great value—from items of powerful slaying magic to suits of armor or gems and coins seldom seen today.

Rizzit rides into town. He shouts back to the rest of the party who have stopped on the road just outside Peldan’s Helm. "I will get the beers ready"
Back on the road Feng addressess the others “I got a bad feeling about this.” He says. He lowers his voice
“The townsfolk dont know about the satyr, here - only about the Troll whose head we have in the bag. I bet they wont pay a reward for this guy, who will probably only say he was the shrine guardian who hasn’t done any harm.” The half-orc barbarian looks intently at the rest of the group “Let him go.”
He continues “Besides - these clodbusters will probably look down on him cos he's not human. Believe me, I know of what I speak. They are liable to kill him for being different - which is pretty crappy. If he had really meant us any harm, one of us would be dead. We can still collect the reward for the real villain of the piece. - Mr "I aint go nobody" here in the bag. Let this bastard go. Besides - he would owe us a favour - who knows when we might need to collect?. If my word carries any weight wil this group, let the Satyr go!” Feng sets his mouth in a hard line, determination outlining his every gesture.
Beltain looks at Feng, his face worried. " The Satyr was the brains behind this operation and getting on for a dozen pilgrims were killed. I can't see any logic to letting him go to find some other meathead to slaughter unarmed worshipers. Perhaps if someone could explain again why we don't want the reward...?" he asks the huge barbarian.
"Look.” says Poacher “Lets just find the local ing magistrate or law officer, or what ever the . Then lets hand over billy-goat ing gruff here and the big smelly head and lets get back on the ing road."
"my sentiments exactly friend" Sparhawk says as he nods to Poacher.."Too long have we tarried, we musts be on our way"
Coleridge speaks “I agree with Beltain and Poacher I don't think we should free this creature he has been evilly slaying the pilgrims to the temple, but we also want to resolve this as quickly as possible get rid of him and the head for whatever reward we can then get back to the task in hand.”
Limara glances about at the party. She flicks her sodden hair from her face and adjusts her position in her saddle and continues on silently toward the town. Beltain rides off beside her, occasionally leaning near and whispering. Once in town Beltain informs a guard that the party have a prisoner. Minutes later,
The town magistrate and a couple of guards travel to the outskirts of the town and meet with the rest of the party who are holding the Tiefling. The guards take Bremdroch away and the magistrate pays the party 750GP for thier trouble. The partys reputation in this town has surely increased.
The rest of the party ride into town. Rizzit leans out of the door to the only inn "hey about time you guys got out of the rain, beers are on the bar but you need to order your own food"
“Plenty of in' beer.” Says Feng to the barman “Make it quick - I got a bad taste in my mouth.”.
Feng goes and joins Rizzit at a corner table.
"Cheer up bud,” says the Kobold “The tiefling chose his path in life and will pay the price, now lets get blind drunk"
“...and do some fighting and end up shagging?” asks the half-orc
Feng looks truculently around the bar for a likely target
Poacher says to the rest of the party "Well i'm keeping the bell and the drinking horn for myself. Take 50 gp out of my, that ever that is. Who's ing sorting gold distribution anyway?"
The ranger turns to the barkeeper "Barkeep. Do you have any whores in this ing town?"
"I hear scanky Sue turns a few tricks.." replies the barman "She'll be in later ...she normally is"
Poacher smiles "Excellent.... Is she diseased? Or just ing ugly? Ugly i don't mind. If she gives me the clap though i'll be well ing annoyed."
Beltain pays for a bath for each of the party - even Poacher!
"Hey Beltain. Just to show good faith and prove i'm trying to be better in the ing party i'll have the ing bath. You wanna share my whore? I'll pay. You can even go first. I like 'em well lubricated. Kekeke."
A women enters the bar.. The barman nods at Poacher. It appears this is Sue. Poacher walks over, has a word with her, and both retire upstairs...to have a bath.. Loud noises are heard for the next hour or so from somewhere in the Inn. Not all of the noises appear to be entirely human.
The Barman looks up from preparing the partys drinks "Geez, sounds like a animal being murdered up there"
Folk hear shouting from upstairs. "WHO'S THE DARK LORD NOW BITCH! LEMME SHOW YOU MY RING OF POWER!" They also hear the screeching of a chicken in pain.
Rizzit shakes his head "and they they are civilized"
Beltain looks worried and checks with the barman that they change the water and scrub out the bath between clients.
Limara orders a cold meat salad and a glass of water, on a tray, for her meal. "im late for prayers, i'll eat in my room", she explains. When it arrives from the kitchen she takes to her room. Limara gives Beltain a sly smile on the way up the stairs.
Rizzit shouts over to Deirdre "come and sit with us lass, I will tell you some tales of the underdark"
Beltain, yawns and almost runs for the stairs, "prayers you know" he says to the grinning faces as he goes up the stairs two at a time.
“Have a couple for me, ya lucky bastard” mumbles Feng.
The party retires to their rooms and rest the night.

Poacher wakes the next morning all clean and sparkly. He has a spring in his step and a smile on his face, as if a really itchy itch had just been scratched. He mounts Buttercup and takes up the point position in the party. He waits for the call to leave humming happily to himself.

The good nights rest means Feng recovers from his wounds from the weasels...

Rizzit gets up and packs his things ready to travel, going downstairs he gets some breakfast and has some bread, cheese and cold meats wrapped up for his lunch. Hhe goes out and saddles up Beaker, mounts and rides out into the street "bloody raining again" He looks up at the rain "this is one thing you dont have in the underdark"

Feng emerges from the inn “Cheer up Rizzit - rain is a fine thing. It saves on laundry and freshens ya up.”
Feng climbs into the back of the wagon. Dierdre and Walter also join the barbarian. “Anyone want a lesson in using a man's weapon? I'll practice with my axe in the back of the wagon to give me something to do. If nothing else, It should impress the ladies?”
Dierdre looks petrified.
Beltain greets Limara: "'Morning Princess - he says with a smile. Seems that the bath did Poacher a world of good and (judging by the screams of joy) Skancy Sue had a good night too!"
"Come you lovebirds or did you use all your energy up last night" shouts Rizzit.
Coleridge having retired early almost upon arrival, rises later than the others... hew makes a quick stop at the adventurers gear shop before joining the others ready to head out. The bard seems deep in thought.
"Whats up this morning Col? not any bad news I hope" asks Rizzit. The bard just shakes his head.
The party leaves Peldan’s Helm
Beltain drops back to ride beside Coleridge. " Is there anything I can help with?" he asks. Again, the bard says nothing.
Beltain rides upto Sparhawk: If we have the time I would appreciate stopping off at the shrine again. I would like to make that hoe "whole" again. I feel bad about leaving the place without the how in the tree..."
Rizzit overhears "We dont have time to go back there, lets just stick to the road unless some new adventure takes us, fixing an old farm implement is not high on our priorities. Tell him Spar he wont listen to me"
"I know nothing of the magic that held the implement in the tree, howe'er it doth seem unlikely to me it could be fixed Beltain, foreasmuch as we may have served a purpose I feel we also broke the enchantments of that place" Sparhawk states. The party decide against going back to the shrine. They travel on down the Moonsea Ride.
Feng shouts from the back of the cart “Hey Poach - want an Archery competition? I got me a new bow - reckon I could outshoot you, now you've lost your strength.”
Poacher laughs " off Feng you big axe swinging wank. The day you can out shoot me is the day that i buy calipers for my ing legs and start going to mong school."
Poacher continues to ride point, using his prodigious wilderness skills to look out for ambushes and other dangers on the road. As the party come to a bend in the road Poacher briefly leads them straight on, carrying on off the road. Not appearing to notice that they have left the road until someone points it out to him. ". I wish i was better at this wilderness . Perhaps my natural environment is the ing underdark too?"

 

[tariff]

ORC ATTACK AT TILVER’S GAP
The party travel for 6 days before arriving at the Thunderpeaks. So named for the sudden and devastating storms that batter them all year. There is but one pass through this treacherous range, Tilvers Gap. As the party enter the gap they hear a shriek....they then see Orcs!!

"Were all DOOMED" SAYS Walter, seeing the enemy.
Sparhawk looks back at Walter and Dierdre "Fear not companions" he says with a smile , snapping his visor shut.
Beltain comes out of his thoughts reacting slowly to the now visible foe. He says to Rizzit “Any chance of a demonstration of that fine wand of yours? It does work doesn't it?”
"Fan-ing-tastic. Something to kill, i was beginning to think nobody loved us for a few days there. Kekeke." Comments Poacher.
Rizzit replies "no Beltain I am not wasting the wand on an orc, now stop soiling yourself and go hit something battlecleric. These should be no problem they have not even laid out an ambush"
Coleridge looks up from his musings as he hears rumblings from the others and he too notices the oncoming orcs too late to act quickly.
Poacher shouts "Feng. Grab that ing ax and get chopping. It's time to make some half orcs. Hahahaha. Get it? Get it? Half orcs. Hahaha. You know. Like you are."
"Looks like theres plenty to go round....." says Limara, counting at least 12.
"So how we doing this neighbours, you all on one and I take the rest...see who finishes first" Sparhawk says with a laugh.
"Let's not get over-confident - but I suspect that your score will be higher than any of ours Sir Knight" calls Beltain smiling from his position by the wagon
"Me and feng will clearly kill the most" states Rizzit.
Feng shouts loudly in Orcish. He waves his axe and gestures insultingly. He says to the party “I'm gonna let 'em get closer - If I run up there, Im gonna have no breath for fighting. Bow-work 'til they get closer, then. Keep back, Rizz - let the Fatherless scumsuckers come to us!
Beltain studies the boulders to the side of the path wondering if they conceal other potential attackers
One of the Orcs moves forward and throws his Javelin at Poacher. It hits, hurting the ranger (8).
"Ouch. ing bastards all fired at me? The s. "
Poacher thinks for a second "Hold up. If they're firing now it means we've sprung their ambush before they before they had a chance to set it up right. Lets face it. Only a ing moron would wait till the ambushes were only in range. They should have waited till we were in between them. Trust me. |I know about ing ambushing. These orcs are ing stupid."
Poacher shouts something in Orcish. " Grakkak akkak akk. Shakkak akkak akkak fakkak kakkak yakkak ."
“LET 'EM ALL COME! I AM FENG!. WHAT? NO CHALLENGE? IS THERE NO OGRE OR CHEIFTAIN BRAVE ENOUGH TO MEET THE MIGHTY FENG?”
Limara casts Shield of faith upon herself.
Belatin turns in his saddle checking that they are not being approached from the rear and that Deirdre and Walter remain safe in the wagon. Then he concentrates on the orcs ahead
Feng props up his axe in the cart and retrieves his bow and strings it. Feng trys to draw the orcs closer
”LOOK AT ALL THIS LOOT THE MIGHTY FENG HAS! I REALLY HOPE THE ORCS DON'T COME AND TAKE IT!” He says to Walter and Dierdre “What do yas think? Not too subtle, I hope?”
Poacher rides Buttercup back a little and dismounts. He then prepares to fire on the next round.
"I'm forward observer and missile support. I ing sprung their ing ambush for you before it was any use to them. What the more do you want?. And don't rush to heal me. I presume you two ers didn't pick any heals today? You prolly chose really useful purify ing food and drink spells that we really need? Or maybe undetectable alignment or Hold Gerbil?"
"..do not mock the holy Gerbil... for it has pointy pointy teeth.." Limara feigns a stern look.
Rizzit casts a spell. An invisible, tower shield sized mobile disc of force hovers infront of him.
Coleridge spurs his mount forward and past the cart his reveries broken he is focused now on the task at hand. With his companions ready for battle around him he begins to sing an inspiring anthem. It Inspires Courage in his allies.
"wow I feel filled with courage, maybe a charge is in order" says Rizzit.
Beltain dismounts and takes a 5' step away from his horse, worried that it might bolt. Beltain then casts the Bless spell on the party.
Sparhawk charges out at one of the orcs. His lance hits the orc hard in the chest for (23) damage. The orc is dead before he hits the ground. "One to me , methinks neighbours"
The orcs advance..

ROUND: 2
A orc advances toward Sparhawk and Faran and attacks the warhorse. The orcs attack misses.
Beltain glaces to his left wondering what Limara is planning. He misses her suggestions on strategy, without leadership is everyone for themselves he thinks, sadly.
Just then, Feng Yells “Everyman for himself! Maximum bodycount! Carpet the floor with their dead and dying!”
“From where I am standing, that was pure class Sparhawk” says Limara. Just then she spots one of the orcs making a move to flank the group... she decides to make him the target of her spiritual weapon. "Holdfast venom', im casting a spell..." she says to her steed. A longsword made of pure force springs into existence and attacks one of the orcs. It deals (9) damage, downing the orc.
"I thank you for your words Limara” replies Sparhawk “twas purely training ground routine I assure you, howe'er I see you drew second blood, which is both fine and twas an interesting way to do so"
"I have only recently learned this spell and its already proving its versatility...." replies Limara.
Beltain smiles proudly at Limara "Excellent Princess! Truely a powerful and useful spell - just wish I learned it!"
Poacher sighs "Lets stop with the ing self masturbatory comments. Will that ing weapon replace the heal that she should have saved for when things get rough? No wonder we have all cleaned out every healing potion vendor in the ing Dale lands. Coz we sure can't ing rely on the god botherers to ing heal us."
Beltain replies “The spell that Limara cast killed the Orc that was intending to rush in and hit you from behind – so why not think of it as pre-emptive healing – wound healing before the blow is struck! That will make you feel better – on the other hand maybe not – you seem to moan whatever happens! And while I’m at it – why not have a go hitting the Orcs yourself – we would revel in seeing your great expertise with the bow – maybe even a hit from you – or is that too much to ask?
Feng fires with his newly acquired composite longbow. His arrow is true and he badly hurts one of the incomming orcs.
“Ha Ha! Feng kicks arse with Bow!” he shouts.
"Nice shot Feng, looked like he was coming for me" says Rizzit.
Poacher shouts back to the half orc "Well me Feng you . That was a good move. Use a missile weapon from the back and leave our wagon unguarded. You're a ing fighter, why the are you hiding back there? You silly . You know this group isn't disorganized because of all the arguments. It's disorganized because you s are . You're supposed to be at the from you wanker."
Rizzit springs to Feng’s defense "Feng is letting them come to us so we can kill as many of them as possible before they close for melee, the only one hurt so far is you Poacher and nobody cares about that anyway"
Poacher growls "Ok you little er. I was just about to ing fire on the orcs. But if you're going to be like that you can off. If boy can't move forward i'll move back. You little ." The mounted ranger moves back to behind the wagon. "Oh look. They get to you first now. You ing dragon tooths wank stain."
"And I why would I be bothered about that?" retorts Rizzit as two missiles of magical energy fly from his fingertips and impact into one of the advancing orcs. (6) damage. The orc is not killed however. Rizzit then rides behind the cart also. He turns to poacher. "If you were any ing good as a Ranger you would have spotted a dozen bloody great orcs long before they got close enough to stick a javelin in you"
Coleridge dismounts quickly and fires his heavy crossbow at a incomming orc. The bolt hits the neck of the creature causing (11) damage. The orc slumps to the floor dead.
”Excellent shooting Col" exclaims Rizzit.
Coleridge continues to sing "Mighty warrior fight your battle"
“Let dignity be your Armour”
“May your strength come from fortitude”
“Your pride sustain you”
A javelin wizzes past Beltains arm. Beltain moves forward to attack an on coming orc, that seems to be heading for Limara. He strikes hard and does (7) damage to the orc. It falls to the floor unconscious.
“Bel honey, you really are a sweetie for stepping in there like that...." says Limara.
Limara looks behind her at the retreating party members "err, Bel ... did anyone mention some kinda plan ?.... am i missing something?.... the foe are only orcs, where are they going?"
Beltain replies “I think that it's the "Hide behind someone else -plan, works every time Princess" Beltain glances behind him and smiles "Do you need to maintain concentration on the Spiritual Weapon?"
"I can charge one next time if you like Bel, just get a heal ready for when i go down" quips Rizzit.
Limara replies to Beltain "No i dont need to concentrate on it, it takes but a moment to retarget it. Then i can leave it to do its work". Limara shakes her head.." 'the hide behind someone else plan'... not one from the tomes of the red fellowship. "
Limara looks stern “Seriously though... i just cant see how an autonomous collective works in combat. We all just end up in chaos, not using our strengths, revealing our weaknesses and leaving victory totally to chance... ho hum." She flicks her unlit cigar from one side of her mouth to the other...wishing she had lit it.
Poacher makes a pumping motion with his fist and points to Limara. He mouths a word that could be 'Banker'.
Rizzit seems to have his mouth clamped tightly shut.
The orcs move in.
Sparhawk has two orcs upon him. He turns Faran and pulls on his reigns. Faran rears and comes down hard trampling and biting one of the orcs. Faran kills the orc by doing (17) damage. Sparhawk stabs at the other orc with his lance, causing (6) damage. The orc still lives. "Well done old friend" says the warrior, patting his mount.

ROUND: 3
A orc rushes forward and attacks Beltain. He hits the cleric with his Falchion and causes (9) damage.
The badly wounded orc attacking Sparhawk has another attempt to hit the mounted warrior, but it misses.
The orcs continue their advance.
Walter points to one of the orcs near the cart and babbles to Feng "Dont let it get near!!"
Limara directs the spiritual weapon to attack a orc moving round the side of her. The spiritual weapon strikes and hits causing (5) damage to the orc. She then casts a spell. Another spiritual weapon appears and attacks one of the orcs on Beltain. This also hits causing (3) damage. "C'mon boys, lets finish this ...."
"Thanks, Princess" calls Beltain to Limara, grateful for the assistance with the hard-hitting Orc
Rizzit says "Go for a fresh one Feng, if they are still there I will take both the badly wounded ones with magic missile"
"Smart move Rizzit - Limara will be proud of you. Thinking like a strategist!" says Beltain.
"Feng and me are a good team" says Rizzit
Poacher snickers "I'm sure you ing are. All ing dungeon lurking monsters together aye?"
Feng fires at an orc with his bow, but misses. "BAH! Lady luck spits in my kettle, again!"
Poacher rapid shots, one of his arrows hits and downs an orc. "Die you ing degenerate orcish filth..... Not you Feng."
Rizzit unleashes two magic missiles. The missiles impact on two separate wounded orcs, both fall to the floor, badly wounded.
" me Rizzit you're slaying them ers. Go dogboy the orc slayer." says Poacher.
Coleridge grins maniacally at orc infront of him, ready to dodge he extends his free arm with palm up and briefly flicks the ends of his fingers up in a come hither motion
Coleridge quickly reloads his crossbow sights at the creature and looses the bolt. The bolt misses the orc. As the bolt goes awry he continues to sing.
"Move in constant forth going"
"Look only to the past for reflecting"
"Let the thorns that wounded"
"Become arrow heads,"
"To pierce the darkness around you"
Beltain causes an almighty strike on one of the orcs, downing it. He retreats still barring the way to Limara.
"Rizz - Great powers - Belt, good swordwork!" shouts Feng from the wagon.
"Ta, Feng! Like to see some of that famous axe-work again soon" shouts back Beltain.
"looks like it will soon be all over" says Rizzit, looking round the battle field. Seeing only a few orcs left standing.
"Bel , have you thought of using a shield of faith ?" Limara gently sways in her saddle in time to the tune sung by Coleridge
"Limara, my Princess, I dream of using Shield of Faith! But on those occasion I forgot to learn it", Beltain responds glancing round to see her sensuous movements
Sparhawk strikes at a nearby orc with his lance, the orc falls to the floor in a pool of blood. Sparhawk looks around for any more foes , "Is that all of them covered neighbours?"
Orc#2 advances toward the beckoning bard and strikes, Coleridge dodges the blow.
Orc#5 advances on Beltain and strikes. He hits the cleric with his falchion for (10) damage, Beltain smarts at the strike.


ROUND: 4
Rizzit speaks "I know I am probably wasting my breath here but can we capture one to at least find out where they have come from."
Poacher spits back at the kobold " it Rizzit, lets just kill 'em all. They're orcs and will more than likely have all to say of any interest. Feng is only half orc and he's got no ing idea. How much use do you think a full orc will be? Kekeke."
Limara instructs her first spiritual sword to attack the orc on Beltain. The sword misses.
Limara shake her head watching the first sword attack thin air. She directs the other spiritual blade to attack the same orc. The second animated sword hits the orc hard for (10) damage. The orc falls to the floor dead.
Limara shouts to Rizzit "Rizz, i agree with your idea.... All you've got to do now is get the rest to agree to it, then put your plan into action before someone kills it anyway......"
She turns her attention to Beltain "Bel , your leaking blood quite rapidly...do you have a cure? "
"Of coarse Beltain doesn't have a ing cure. He's a cleric. Do you have one? Kekeke." quips Poacher.
"Yes, yes I have cures but can't use them while in a face-to-face battle! Perhaps if you were to fire some arrows AT the orcs?"
Rizzit shouts at the last standing Orc "drop your weapon and surrender now scumbag"
Limara shouts over to Sparhawk, "Spar... Only one left standing, its on Col..... Tell the others if you want him alive, theres another vote "
Beltain replies to Rizzit: I'm afraid that the last thing in my mind is how to keep the orc alive. Last time we tried this we had the brave warriors in the rear rank stride up and slit their throats... Seems a bit pointless really?
Poacher spits "They're just ing monsters. What sense are they going to talk? I mean Rizzit is a monster and how much ing sense does he speak?"
Feng fires at the last remaining orc, but his shot misses.
Poacher attempts to run and jump up onto the wagon. In doing so he slips and falls flat on his arse in a top comedy manner. "Ouch you ing er. That ing hurt."
Feng Looks at Poacher sprawling in the wagon "There goes the 'hood."
Rizzit rides up behind Coleridge, the Axebeak lunges past the bards head to bite the Orc, but misses.
The last orc standing leers at Coleridge, it is clear he has no intention of surrendering..
Coleridge leers back at the orc, he continues to bounce on his toes in the manner of a pugilist ready to dodge, he discards his crossbow and draws his longsword in one fluid motion before attempting to subdue the creature.. all the while continuing his lament
"Keep your eyes on the light"
"Broaden your horizons with courage"
"Your future is an open door of promise"
"May the rain that falls on your windowpane"
"Be for refreshment due you"
Coleridge strikes at the orc with the flat of his blade, attempting to subdue the creature. He hits and causes the orc some damage.
Beltain cures himself and then makes ready to cure Poacher
Limara looks round at the swearing behind her. Seeing Poacher sat on his arse hugging the front wheel of the cart for support she erupts laughing at his embarrassment. Doing a passable 'old woman' voice she blurts out "ya'll wan' sum cream for that in the mornin'...three lumps on an arse, that'll be a sight..."
Beltain laughs amused at the sight of the Ranger "Your cure will have to wait until you're in range he says", smothering a smile. "Incidentally, I have a Zone of Truth saved for the questioning, if that's a help" he tells Coleridge "If you have other, Bardic, methods, then I'll use it for healing", he adds the implied question hanging in the air.
"ing bunch of ing bastards. I've just nearly broke my ing back here and s think it's ing funny?" Says the ranger as he climbs to his feet. "Hold on. What am i ing saying? Of coarse it was ing funny? You're still a bunch of s though. My arse hurts, and not coz someones been shaggin it neither. Bastards!"
Sparhawk spears one of the unconscious orcs at his feet with his lance "You were far from worthy, but I felt no enjoyment from your suffering" Sparhawk says to the orc corpse. He then kicks his heels and walks Faran back toward the part, looking around for any more enemies
Sparhawk looks at the party "thats three confirmed deaths to me....how about your count neighbours?"
Orc#2 strikes at the bard, his falchion hits Coleridge for (10) damage.


ROUND: 5
Limara commands her two spiritual weapons to attack the last standing orc. The spritual longswords float over to the orc and strike. Both hit.
Limara watches the last orc fall to the floor in front of Coleridge.
Limara looks around the battlefield "There are two on the floor that look stable. I can bring one of them round if you want to question one of them Rizz.."
Poacher muses "ing monsters eh? It's alright to fight and drink with 'em. But you wouldn't want ya daughter marrying one. A bit like ing elves in that respect."
Rizzit replies "and humans, ok to adventure with but I couldn’t eat a whole one"
Poacher implores to Limara "I mean. Honestly Limara. I know you ain't ing choosy but would you marry a monster?"
Limara looks at the ranger "Depends who the monster was..... but no, i wouldn’t marry an orc... and you are right, they have been soundly beaten with the ugly stick"
"I mean. Eeww. They're... You know... Monsters." Says Poacher with a shudder. "And as for Feng. You couldn't marry him coz he's impotent. You know... A Jaffa... (Or Faerun equivalent of a seedless Orange).. He shoots blanks."
Poacher continues to ramble "I mean. It really didn't matter that i cut his bollock off. Coz they wouldn't work anyhow. "
Limara looks at Poacher and raises her eyebrow .." how do you know they didn’t work? "
"Well.. It stands to ing reason don't it? He's a ing half orc. You don't get Quart-Orcs or Eighth-Orcs, do you? Q... E...ing.. D.... Jaffa." Says Poacher like a man making a really clever point. "It stands to ing reason don't it?"
Poacher turns to Feng "Ain't that right Feng? Half Orcs are all Dried up in the sack department? It's something to do with Jeans.. Or other sorts of pants. Kekeke."
Limara looks around at the orcs on the ground. She shouts to Sparhawk ".. not sure Spar, three kills and two assists at least.."
"I got one ing measly assist. But i reckon this mole i sat on is ing toast too." says the ranger.
"And they call me a Barbarian..." sighs Feng. He continues "I want to know where they lair. That is where the loot is. Loot is good. Speaks slowly for the benefit of some in the party Don't kill them 'til we know."
Beltain interjects "If there are 12 males here then there may be 12 females and young back at their lair. More exp with the treasure and maybe a half-orc maiden for Feng?"
"Do we eat there hearts now Feng?" asks Rizzit "Tie up a stable one and get him conscious please one of your healers"
After the battle Limara feels an increase in her abilities (4th lvl)
Coleridge sheaths his sword and retrieves his crossbow from the floor.. his mood which seemed somewhat lifted in battle and song again appears sullen, somber and withdrawn. The bard begins to ride off, slowly, down the Moonsea Ride.
The bard remounts his horse and addresses his companions "Well fought my comrades, i'll leave the interrogation and manipulation of the survivors to you others, i think i have already shown it is a skill i do not possess. I will scout ahead some i need some time to myself"
Poacher says out loud "Does any of you ing clerics wanna heal me? Or are you guys just chocked up with purify water spells? Perhaps you could check my alignment instead of healing. Or at least cast Sooth Sore Arse on me."
Poacher climbs back onto Buttercup and takes the point position again
"I say again can some truss up an orc and heal it back to consciousness so we can have a 'chat' " says Rizzit. "And whats up with Col lately? I would have thought all this action would be giving him material for his songs"
Sparhawk moves back to the path. "If you wish to question them , then lets get it done be our our way neighbours"


QUESTIONING THE ORC
Limara manacles one of the unconscious orcs and Rizzit pours a potion of cure light wounds down its throat...The orc awakes
Rizzit begins talking to the bound orc "ok scumbag, struggle and beaker here will eat you. I want to know what your guys are doing out here, Where did you come from? is there a camp nearby or somewhere you use as a base?"
The kobold continues "Are there any more orcs in the area?. Be clear and honest with your answers or you will die very slowly my friend"
Rizzit says to the party "Anyone else got any questions for my new friend here?"
Beltain whispers to Rizzit "I can cast Zone of Truth but first you have to get him to talk...."
"Well cast it now please"
Beltain casts the Zone of Truth spell, no-one in the area of effect can knowingly tell a lie.
"Tell all friend" says Rizzit pokes the silent orc with his toe.
The orc speaks "We was Hunting...There is a small camp, only young and women there, plus our wise elder...will you let me live?"
Rizzit nods "If you prove useful to me, what will the others at the camp do now you are defeated?"
"Starve to death" replies the orc
"Where did your group come from originally?"
"We came the Stormhorns"
"Would they not return to there now?" questions Rizzit.
"Maybe, but they are young and the elder old...the journey would be difficult. Many people would kill orc.....those Purple Dragon Knights...they are a problem"
"So why come here then?"
"We were part of the great army that attacked Arabel, we occupied the city for a while"
"go on" says Rizzit.
"We was defeated, driven out, hunted down..."
Rizzit says "Are there many groups like yours about the area?"
"Yes"
"Do you know there locations?"
"Some, yes"
"Are any close to where we are?"
"Depends what you call close," replies the orc "A couple hours trekking through the mountains there is another camp...others further away."
"Can you show us to this one?"
"Yes i could show you...but i wont. And i wont show you to my camp either...you think id endanger the rest of my clan?"
"You would rather die than show us and go free to return to your friends?" asks Rizzit.
"I would, yes"
Rizzit holds up the area map the party obtained from Walter "How about you mark up our map with these locations and we will let you go"
"No" the orc shakes his head
Rizzit sighs "ok beaker you can eat him, obviously the orc is stupid. Start with a leg" he says directing the axebeaks head down to the orcs leg
The Axebeak sniffs at the Orcs foot...
Rizzit smiles "looks like he is interested, feel free to shout up any time before you pass out"
The orc looks at the axebeak, then at Rizzit "I will not endanger my clan!"
Rizzit replies "I dont want your women and children, we want the others in the mountains"
The orc looks terrified "i draw on your map, you let me go?, that a deal"
"sure" nods Rizzit.
Rizzit shows the orc the map "now you tell me where to put the marks"
The orc reluctantly replies "The other orc camp...roughly 2 hours away, through the mountains, is here".. he points to a area on the map. He looks over at the wagon "You wont be able to take that tho"
Rizzit nods "ok, mark these others further away to"
The orc marks another two locations on the map, but these are much further away
"Ok so these marks are the locations of orc camps?" asks Rizzit again
"Yes" nods the orc.
Rizzit nods again "Ok you can go then, I suggest you return to your women and children and take them far away"
The manacles on the orc are released. The orc looks at his unbound hands, but remains seated on the ground. He looks around him at the party members, he says hesitantly.. "Your really letting me go?"
Limara speaks "I have no objections to letting him go. He forfilled his part of the bargain and is no threat to the party"
Limara says to all " I still have spells left today, i will save them incase we encounter more today. If we do not need them i shall use them to cure any party member, including Poacher the Numb!.... Is Col ok? we shouldn’t let him get too far ahead"
Limara gets a wineskin from her backpack, takes a drink from it and passes it around the party. "anyone want a cigar?"
Beltain accepts the wineskin takes a deep drink and then passes it on. "I think I will pass on the cigar," he says with a laugh, "they just make me cough. I think that we need to find out what's up with Cole before he gets too far away." He gives Limara a quick kiss. "Umm, your divine powers are definitely very strong today" he says with a chuckle. "I am for letting the orc go free. He is no danger to us and he played fair with the information he gave us."
Rizzit says to the party "shall we go root out these orcs in the mountains, should earn us some positive points when we reach our destination"
Sparhawk speaks "I will go after Coleridge...mayhap I can find out what is causing his distress" Sparhawk kicks into Farans flanks and heads off at a run after his companion
"Ok. Lemme get ths ing right?" says poacher "You captured an orc and he told you what? There's orcs in them there hills? Of ing coarse there orcs in them there hills. They're ing hills. So we letting the monster go? Perhaps were should give the er some gold or maybe a packed lunch?...And as for going off to hunt the orcs. Wasn't Walter, you know the baldy wanker over there with the slut, wasn't he paying us for something?"
Rizzit snaps back "shut the up Poacher you whiney piece of , you wanna go take baldy to town then off you go, I want adventure and loot. I dont give a if you go to town or come with me and whoever else wants to come but I dont wanna hear your nasally irritating voice moaning about it"
"By the way" shouts Deirdre to Poacher "Im NO Slut!"
"I would like to speak to a Shaman, too." interrupts Feng.
Feng addresses the Orc "Is your elder a priest of Gruumsh?"
"We are all worshippers of Gruumsh...why do you ask?" replies the orc.
The orc suddenly barks the guttural tones of the Orc Language at Feng "Grakx dranex voor pah?"
Feng and the orc have a brief conversation in orcish.
Beltain and Sparhawk ride off after the bard. "Hey Cole, my friend, what is the problem? Can I help at all"
"Whats on your mind neighbour?" Sparhawk says to Coleridge as he catches him up.
Beltain again presses the bard "Come Cole, Tell me about your problem - a problem shared is a problem halved, as they say"
Coleridge glances over at Beltain as he approaches and sighs once more interrupted from his introspection. "Hello Bel, I just need a bit of time to think on things.. its just.. the way things are" he waves his arms, gesturing to encompass everything around him " they're not as they should be, well not how i imagined they'd be" with that he pulls ahead of the cleric once more.
"We are not put on this world to make things right, nobody could do that" says Beltain, "We can only work to make things better" looking at Coles retreating back "Anyway" he continues, more to himself than Cole "If you continue to keep that distance in front of the party you are likely to change from being a bard to a meal fairly soon"
Beltain wheels Acer round and takes up his station alongside the wagon.
Feng strips the dead orcs of their stuff, and loads it into the wagon.
"Ill be on my way then" says he orc as he climbs to his feet and begins walking away from the party. He periodically turns back to look at the party.
Feng says to Rizzit "I'm up for finding the orc camp. I'm fed up with jolting along in this damned wagon, watching my toes.
Feng and Rizzit decide to follow the orc to his camp.
"lets go bud, the clock is ticking" says Rizzit.
Sparhawk looks back and signals for the wagon to follow, he then awaits it approach before taking his customary position in front of it. His lance resting in his stirrup his eyes looking for possible trouble
"Coleridge try not to wander too far ahead neighbour" Sparhawk calls out
Limara speaks "It appears that Feng and Rizzit have made up thier minds to go off with the orc to his orc camp. Apparently Feng needs to speak with a shaman for some reason he hasn’t divulged. I’m with Sparhawk, we escort." She continues "They can catch us up later"
The party rides on.. Rizzit and Feng follow the last surviving orc north. Coleridge rides ahead of the party.

 

[tariff]

THE PARTY SPLIT
Poachers says to the party "That Feng doesn't know i can ing speak orc. I'm sure i ing heard him say "Lets go back to your camp and get the others and kill these bastards. " . Man!!! I ing knew those monster s would betray us. I mean look at the way Feng refused to engage those ing orcs in Melee. He just sat there like a twat firing arrows at them half ing heartedly. The bastards will be back in ing numbers. Mark my ing words."
Beltain eyes the ranger suspiciously "Um, Poacher didn't you refuse to fight the orcs in melee too, and also sit at the back firing arrows at them half heartedly?
"Yeah but that's my job. Feng is supposed to get in there and melee. It looks suspicious man. You gotta admit it does." replies the ranger.
Beltain says "Can I suggest that we don't go too far today, but rest and allow Feng and Rizzit to catch up?"
" them." sneers Poacher "Lets go fast. If they ain't bringing orc to our door they can catch up. If they are i suggest we get as much ing distance between us and them as possible. ing hell guys. They're gonna bring those ing orcs back at us. With a ing shaman too."
"I hope not, I very much hope that you misheard him" but Beltain does look worried.
Poacher continues "Well you trust in the good nature of ing blood traitor orcs. I'll trust in getting as far away as possible. Walter hurry that ing wagon up. Lets get a move on."
Beltain thinks for a moment "Forgetting Feng and Rizzit for the moment - we are heading for Tilverton, Right? But I've heard a rumour that Tilverton just isn't there any more than that speaks of VERY powerful magics around that area. Are we planning to take a route North or South of the hole?"
"Cole is riding point. I think i'll ride back with you guys." says poacher, dropping back and riding by the cart
"Do you have to ride so close?" asks Walter to the ranger
"I'm you're protection little man. If i want to. I ing will."
Sparhawk speaks "What Poacher may or may not have heard is of no moment at this time...we continue on at our standard pace neighbours"
Poacher replies "What? So hearing that Dumb and ing dumber are gonna ing betray us is of now ing moment is it? Sheesh man. Are you ing stupid or what?"
Sparhawk smiles "From back there Poacher I am sure you will see the hoards coming up behind us...we have no choice, if we have been betrayed then the orcs will be upon us anyway"
"Not if we make haste." implores the ranger "Hurry these ers up and get to a point we can defend ourselves from."
The ranger continues his rant "You ers are so ing stupid. We're supposed to be protecting these two s and the monster crew off to an orc camp and you just ing accept it. The minute they show their ing faces again i'm gonna put a ing arrow into it."
"It would seemeth to me they are both still alive are they not ?" replies the warrior.
Poacher spits back at Sparhawk "So you don't ing believe in preparation? Man! I have ing backed you up so many ing times and what do i get for it? ing nothing! That’s what. Your ing friendship sure is ing a loyal thing mate. That ing Samurai bastard tried to ing kill me and did you back me up? Did you ing ! How any times have i ing backed you up? Every ing time! Well cheers MATE. Thanks for the ing benefit of the doubt!"
Sparhawk sighs "Poacher I have spared you from many a party blade in the past....I am not going to just sit here and wait for trouble to come"
"WHEN????" shouts poacher "Like when that STRANGER. That we rescued! That bloke we'd never met before drew is sword and attacked me and you did ALL? Call your self a friend?"
Limara speaks to Poacher "Poacher, stop your bickering, we do as Spar says. Travel to Suzail at our normal speed. The next place we will probably have the opportunity to stop at will be Half-Hap, if what we hear about Tilverton is true. We can rest at Half-Hap for a day or two, see if Rizzit and Feng catch up."
The party travel on, down the Moonsea Ride. After a while they meet another wagon coming the other way.
Limara notices the wagon approaching from up ahead "Well, maybe these people can confirm the rumours about Tilverton"
Beltain shouts to the up coming wagon "Hail fellows we are on our way to Tilverton - how about you?"
The wagon driver waves a hand "Hail there" The driver stops his wagon. Three other men on horses riding by the wagon also stop "How are ye this fine day?" asks the driver "Were have ye been?, theres nothing at Tilverton but a black crater. The road has been redirected around it, just follow the road"
"Hail." says limara "Have you encountered any difficulties on the road?. Are there Purple Dragons at Tilverton?"
The wagon driver nods at Limara "Our journey has been uneventful. Yes, there are Purple Dragons at the black Crator"
Limara looks at Coleridge and Sparhawk who remain tight lipped and offer no comment or questions to the caravaners. "Well, unless Poacher here has any pertinent questions i guess we will be on our way, safe travels to you"
Beltain speaks to the wagon driver "Hail Master Merchant", says Beltain "We are about four days out from Peldans Helm. When we left we had heard rumours of an Ogre and orcs on the road". "We met, and defeated the Ogre shortly after leaving and have also encountered a group of orcs who we slew. There may well be more..." . He pauses "Have you any tips for us or rumours of foes to be aware of or maybe adventures and rewards on our road past Tilverton?" he asks. "Also we left two companions behind, they had private business in the hills a little way back. They are a kobald and a half-orc travelling together, Rizzit and Feng by name. If you see them bid them well from me and say that we will await then in the first town beyond Tilverton."
"You guys got an booze for sale? My wine skin is as empty as a ing elves cod-piece." asks poacher.
"The Moonsea ride can be eventful, bandits, orc and goblins etc, then you have the Zhentarim and drow also to contend with if your unlucky. We will keep an eye out for your friends, a half-orc and a kobold you say?, they will be lucky not to be shot on sight by many travelling bands." the driver looks at Beltain "Im afraid we have nothing really to offer, we are off to Ashabenford." With that he yanks on the reigns and the caravan surges forward "Fare well, safe journeys" he shouts as the wagon and riders continue on the Moonsea ride...
Sparhawk nods at the driver "We thank you for the information good driver, and bid you a fast and safe journey"
Beltain calls "Safe journey - and may god go with you!" after the departing wagon. That was a REALLY nice wagon, he thinks to himself, with an excellent covered bit for sleeping,
Coleridge continues to ride point, he appears to be less engrossed in his internal ruminations but remains subdued
Beltain once again rides up front, next to Coleridge, intent on talking to him "I am quite interested in Arcane magic, if fact I had a book on it when I was younger. Could you give me some leads on the theory and practice of such spells?
The party travel for a few more hours and then make camp and rest the night..
After a peaceful nights rest, the party travel the day and arrive at Tilverton in the afternoon..

 

[tariff]

TILVERTON
Time of Day: 04:00 PM. -Hammer (Deepwinter) 3rd, 1373 The Year of Rogue Dragons.
Ahead the party notices several tents and what appear to be Knights. Ahead they can see a huge black crater, this is presumably where Tilverton once was..
The party suddenly notice small white flakes dropping down on them from above...it has begun to Snow..
Sparhawk lifts his lance in salute "Hail and well met Sir Knights" he says in a booming voice "I am Sir Sparhawk, a knight of The Garison to the Throne of Athkatla"
Beltain tightens the reigns on Acer and moves to the back, happy to leave the conversation with the formidable Purle Knights to Sparhawk and Limara whose diplomatic skills are likely to far exceed his own. He makes a silent prayer (more in hope than in expectation) that Poacher will not participate in the discussions.
Beltain looks up at the sky "It will be both cold and wet tonight, would it be too my to hope that yon building is an in with warm beds, hot food and mulled wine?"
"So who the are these Purple Helmet Knights then?" says Poacher to no-one particular "The defenders of Tilverton? I see they've done a bang up job so far. Or do we have to kill these ers too?"
The party converse with the Purple Knights. They learn that they are now entering the region of Cormyr.

Life and Society
Though there are strong reasons why it shouldn't be, Cormyr is a steadfast and prosperous land. Despite an often-violent past, constant armed vigilance against beasts and border perils, and frequent treasonous intrigues, Cormyrians remain loyal, content, prosperous, and peace loving folk. While the serious reverses of the last two years have shaken the kingdom, Cormyrians expect better days ahead and are willing to work to achieve that goal.

The Obarskyr family rules Cormyr, assisted by wise Royal Mages. The long reign of Azoun IV, aided by former Royal Magician Vagerdahast, gave the realm a legacy of stability and prosperity that is the envy of much of Faerun.

Beneath the royal family is a wealthy, sophisticated, often fractious group of noble families of long lineage, influence, and demonstrated loyalty to the crown. The War Wizards - a force of battle mages under the command of thoughtful wizards such as Caladnei - temper both royal and noble excesses. As the sage Bradeaskras of Suzail put it, the Obarskyrs, the nobility, and the War Wizards "form three legs of a stool on which the common folk sit."

Most Cormyrians are farmers, ranchers, horse-breeders, foresters, or craftsfolk. The country also maintains a large, capable army, the Purple Dragons - not to be confused with Azoun IV, the king who was called the Purple Dragon, or the Purple Dragon Thauglor, long the largest and mightiest wyrm of the Dragon Reach.

Background
By mid-1372 DR, the battered kingdom of Cormyr is coming to grip with its condition after the brief but nearly ruinous Dragon's War. The first half of this year brought an uprising by several families of traitorous nobles, the ravages of a great dragon, a chaotic invasion of goblins and orcs, the loss of one major city and grave damage to another, and the loss of the ream's most powerful and experienced leaders. The crown's hold on Cormyr's northern and northeastern frontier is uncertain at best. Hunger and disease are everywhere. Refugees are returning home accross the realm but the whole social fabric is disrupted. Food is costly and money scarce. In a kingdom that has known relative security for ages, fear and confusion now fill the populace.

By Midsummer, with the worst turmoil ended, the Steel Regent Alusair struggles to maintain civil order accross her lands. Tilverton is now a dark, shadow filled waste called the Black Crater, but soldiers are building an outpost near it to hold the land for the crown. The trade routes once going through Tilverton have been reopened. The city of Arabel, retaken in ruins from the orcs, is being rebuilt. Orcs, goblins, and bandits in the north and east are being fought and chased out. Still, the Purple Dragons, Cormyr's great army, suffered grave losses in the fighting and are barely able to patrol the heart of the kingdom, much less the oute regions where numerous nonhumans prowl. Sembia is making unstable overtures to take land and influence away from the realm. Many noble families hoard their resources and even their collected taxes from the crown, strengthening their own lands and guards in the event of further disaster. Some nobles might yet pull their lands from the kingdom and declare themselves independent of the monarchy, though the consequences for them would be dark indeed.

The purple Knights hand the party a scroll. It lists the various rules and regulations in Cormyr.

Sparhawk speaks to the knights "I thank you Sir Knight, we have duly taken charge of an escort duty and will be travelling through your lands.....an' it please thee, feel free to peacebind our weapons neighbour, for we wish to travel peacefully and unhindered"
Poacher sneers as the reads the scroll "ing hell this place is a ing beaurocratic nightmare. They ing take adventurers? That's just ing . We ain't staying here. And i hope mister ing merchant over there is gonna pay our group taxes for us? Or he might find himself a-ing-lone in the dark some time soon. An adventurers tax? me! What next? Do they charge monsters dungeon rates? National Evil Villain Insurance? Extra-planar immigration duty tax? Sheesh."
Sparhawk turns on the ranger "Poacher...for once please hold your tongue...these are knights the same as i...just do as you are asked and let us pass through safely"

RIZZIT & FENG RETURN
As the party are conversing with the Purple Knights and reading the "Adventurer's Charter" they hear a shout behind them. Rizzit and Feng appear into view, hurriedly trying to catch the party up..
Rizzit rides up to read the charter, greeting his friends as he goes
Rizzit bows in his saddle and addresses the Purple Knight "Hail Sir Knight, I am Rizzit recently of the underdark but now on a quest in your lovely surface world. Do not worry at my presence I have turned away from my peoples evil ways and now follow the path of good seeking to recover a lost sword and realize the full potential of the Dragon blood flowing in my veins"
Rizzit looks like he could well go on and on and on...
Poacher suddenly shouts "Aaaargh!! It's a Kobold! Quick Sir Knight! Protect me from the fell Beast lest it assault my mortal countenance!!......I'm just joking Mister Knight of the Purple Helmet, or what ever you're called. The Kobold is with us, so's the half orc. Sadly."
Rizzit continues talking to the Purple knights "So do you guys have the blood of purple dragons in you? I am not familiar with that type of dragon, I myself am descended from a Brass Dragon, a very goodly and noble dragon"
Coleridge solemnly reads through the proffered document

 

[tariff]

Cormyrian Adventuring Laws

*ADVENTURING CHARTER:
Any group of four or more adventurers who plan to travel together on missions must register with the crown as an official adventuring force. The group must obtain a "royal charter of arms" in Suzail from the court, usually the current chancellor, lord high marshal, or ruler. The chancellor, currently Beri Huntsilver, is available to take applications for charters in Suzail. An application must be signed by all members of the group, who must disclose their real names and places of residence, and the group must describe its collective name, badge, seal, coat of arms, standard flag, or other identifying symbols. Any permanent change to the groups title, symbols, or size requires a revision of the charter; charter records are updated on the first of each month. A copy of the charter is issued to the group as a whole, with extra copies available for 100gp each.
The charter for five plus adventurers (forming a legal "fellowship") costs 1,000gp, with an annual tax of 300gp on the anniversary of the date of signing the charter. *The group's projected date of disbanding (within two tendays) must be registered and adhered to. A longterm or permanent adventuring charter for a group of 10-30 )legally, a "band") costs a flat 5,000gp per person.
*A group leader must be designated to speak for all the band in legal matters. The annual tax on a band as a whole is 1,500gp.
*A late fee of 20gp per day, for up to ten days, is assessed on annual taxes on adventuring groups. Failure to pay the tax and late fee within this period will cause the charter to be revoked. Revocation means that the group (if it has not informedthe crown that it has disbanded) has decided to oppose the crown and is now officially "outlaw". A warrent is issuedto the Purple dragons for the group's arrest and detention.
*A member of an adventuring group can be stricken from its membership by the crown for criminal actions, and a charter can be revoked at any time for any reason by the issuing authority.
*Some public buildings (Taverns, Inns, council chambers) reserve the right to to not accept armored and armed individuals on thier premisis.

PEACEBONDING WEAPONS:
Armed adventurers who travel about in peace must have "peacestrings" tied around their sword and dagger hilts to thier scabbards. The Purple Dragons enforce this law, though they term it a "custom." Soldiers at the Purple Dragon guard posts are willing to tie peacestrings of thier own make on visitors' weapons. Using a peacestring is a symbolic gesture meant to put commoners at ease. Large weapons like battleaxes are expected to be capped with leather and stuck in belts, or strapped to backs. weapons that double as tools (hammers, hand axes, eating knives, and so on) escape peacestrings if used by farmers and workers known to local Purple Dragons. Bows must be unstrung.
An adventuring group can produce a copy of its charter and be allowed to proceed without further hindrance, so long as this occurs in an area where weapons would be reasonably be kept at the ready. (in the Stonelands, for instance, but not downtown Suzail).
The penalty for failing to put peacestrings on bladed weapons in areas where fighting would not be expected is seizure of all carried goods by the crown, with possible imprisonment and expulsion from the realm. Self-defence in the presence of witnesses is permitted as an alibi for having an umbound weapon.

WIZARD REGISTRATION:
Every wizard and sorcerer of 5th level or higher is required to register with the crown. Each wizard must travel to Suzail and meet personally with Caladnei, the current Royal Magician of Cormyr and Chairman Emeritus of the College of War Wizards, and report his or her name, sigil, place or residence, and travel plans for the next six months. Each wizard is personally responsible for ensuring this information is updated and current; there is no registration fee. The penalty for failing to send in updated information is a fine of 500gp, doubled with each passing tenday, with a guaranteed visit from the War Wizards after two tendays. Refusal to register is grounds for banishment from the kingdom, and refusal to leave is grounds for being arrested and imprisoned.

MINOR WRITS:
If adventurers are hired on a mission for the crown, they are often given a paper that is legally reffered to as a minor writ. This paper states that the named bearer is on royal buisness and is not to be delayed. Assistance in the form of food, water, and shelter must be provided within reason.