Kathryn_aka_Kat
First Post
ROTFLOL! That is sooooooo cool, Pou!
And so true, hehe.
And so true, hehe.
-
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G
Gene_Kynes
Guest
*grin* Nicely done, Pounamu!
ph34r teh broom.
674. All "From the future due to a time warp are now in the D&D World" characters will be ignored. It's the law.
674. Conversely, all Oriental characters absolutely must take/rip ideas from anime, or risk being...creative *hisss, hisss.* (( Sorry about that last one. Anime ripoff doesn't pull up anything on google.))
ph34r teh broom.
674. All "From the future due to a time warp are now in the D&D World" characters will be ignored. It's the law.
674. Conversely, all Oriental characters absolutely must take/rip ideas from anime, or risk being...creative *hisss, hisss.* (( Sorry about that last one. Anime ripoff doesn't pull up anything on google.))
W
WolframVonKraushen
Guest
Wow...this is so detailed...
Okay, in my defense, if any of these are repeats, please don't crucify me. I didn't read the whole 674 rules, because...well....c'mon!! 674!! That would take hours, and my time is valuable...especially when I have to watch my cartoon shows. Certain things just need to be done.
675. No matter what race you are, no matter what your physical abilities by genes...you can change your eye color at any time, just to suit your mood, instantly. Or...if you cannot do any color, at the very least your eyes will turn red or black, or shoot lightning when you are angered.
676. The season and temperature, or any otherwise condition involving the weather, is whatever you want it to be, regardless of any body else's opinion, even the wizos'.
677. Regarding the previous, no matter how scantily clad a female/male is, they are never cold, snow does not bother them, if they perchange do get wet in the rain, they can snap their fingers and instantly dry off with a spell never named and never mentioned. Yay!
678. Certain males will talk to any female they wish, assume they're interested and not taken, and expect them to fall over themselves when they magically snap the jeweled (or otherwise usually made or colored) rose into extistance in front of them.
678 1/2. Certain females will accept it and...even if they have just met that day...will always admit to loving that rose-conjuring fellow, even if she is already taken, her race has prejudices against his race, or she has already promised herself to another rose-conjuring fellow not three hours before.
679. Certain people will not like you, will ignore you, or will try to kill you if you are not in the same social circle as they are. Heaven forbid you ask them the time of day...
Once again...if any of these are repeated...*sob* I'm sorry! Please don't beat me!
Okay, in my defense, if any of these are repeats, please don't crucify me. I didn't read the whole 674 rules, because...well....c'mon!! 674!! That would take hours, and my time is valuable...especially when I have to watch my cartoon shows. Certain things just need to be done.
675. No matter what race you are, no matter what your physical abilities by genes...you can change your eye color at any time, just to suit your mood, instantly. Or...if you cannot do any color, at the very least your eyes will turn red or black, or shoot lightning when you are angered.
676. The season and temperature, or any otherwise condition involving the weather, is whatever you want it to be, regardless of any body else's opinion, even the wizos'.
677. Regarding the previous, no matter how scantily clad a female/male is, they are never cold, snow does not bother them, if they perchange do get wet in the rain, they can snap their fingers and instantly dry off with a spell never named and never mentioned. Yay!
678. Certain males will talk to any female they wish, assume they're interested and not taken, and expect them to fall over themselves when they magically snap the jeweled (or otherwise usually made or colored) rose into extistance in front of them.
678 1/2. Certain females will accept it and...even if they have just met that day...will always admit to loving that rose-conjuring fellow, even if she is already taken, her race has prejudices against his race, or she has already promised herself to another rose-conjuring fellow not three hours before.
679. Certain people will not like you, will ignore you, or will try to kill you if you are not in the same social circle as they are. Heaven forbid you ask them the time of day...
Once again...if any of these are repeated...*sob* I'm sorry! Please don't beat me!
Andion Isurand
First Post
680. If you're going to play a powerful character, do it right. :smirk:
(for example)
This is most_uber_character:
Most_Uber_Character is a paragon, pseudonatural, reptilian, insectile, air element, fire element, half-giant, half-fiend, half-dragon, vampiric, 7-foot tall, chosen drow archlich abomination 'anti-magister' who is also a legendary dire behemoth titanic lycanthrop of every animal and has existed since time itself first began. He is in fact an all-knowing, all-powerful legendary overdeity that could erase Lord Ao and everything else in existance with a mere thought and bring them all back again just the same. On a whim, he could repeat this event over and over again an infinite number of times within a space of time that is infinitely finite. Suck on that.
( this is kinda fun.... )
(for example)
This is most_uber_character:
Most_Uber_Character is a paragon, pseudonatural, reptilian, insectile, air element, fire element, half-giant, half-fiend, half-dragon, vampiric, 7-foot tall, chosen drow archlich abomination 'anti-magister' who is also a legendary dire behemoth titanic lycanthrop of every animal and has existed since time itself first began. He is in fact an all-knowing, all-powerful legendary overdeity that could erase Lord Ao and everything else in existance with a mere thought and bring them all back again just the same. On a whim, he could repeat this event over and over again an infinite number of times within a space of time that is infinitely finite. Suck on that.
( this is kinda fun.... )
B
Bhryn Astairre
Guest
681: Where does chocolate come from? It's certainly nothing like 'our day' chocolate, lacking the refining processes and the like. It's most likely bad chocolate, pitted, crumbly, little texture or refinement that marks a truly mouthwatering chunk of brown gorgeousness...
682: ...no, don't -even- contemplate chocolate milk...
683: How deep is a bag of Holding? Deeper than Mary Poppin's underwear suitcase, apparently. I've seen whole gnomes be produced from them...
684: Drow are just elves that forgot to eat sugar
685: Or alternatively, Elves are just drow that neglected to go play "Dip the Pointy Ears" in a tar pit.
686: Feathers and sticky substances do not generally make for happy people, these substances include but are not limited to:
a: Honey
b: Chocolate
c: Mud
d: Water (I'm counting it because it makes feathers and fur stink.)
e: Wine
f: Blood (often other peoples.)
g: Fae Goo (You know who you are :nonono: )
687: Do you ever wonder what mad person ever actually sat down and decided: "Hey, I wonder what that big leafy green thing would taste like if I boiled it not so delicately in water then forced my unwitting friends to consume it's foresaid leafy goodness whilst I stand on and laugh?"
Do you?
I do... the man who invented "Cabbage" as part of mealtimes should be shot...
However, the same goes for cake. How did anyone ever find out the secret to making 'Cake'? ...I fear for my sanity...
688: Why don't we ever see 'whale' or 'seal' on the menu? It's mediaeval times, it's not like people really -cared- what they ate back then... mmm blubber...
689: "You are what you eat..." ...if a cannibal happened into the crt, he'd be nuts...
690: Do mediaeval women wear knickers?
691: How come we never see anyone in the CRT or Juxta who is "At her time of the month"? Never! We see pregnant, dying, bleeding, gory hacked to bits victims, slash horror, rape, mutilation, love, death, hate, justice, Pou and her broom and all other manner of frightening things... ...yet no one dares speak of having "The painters" in...
692: appendaged! Of course, should anyone ever happen on this female 'myth' then there would be some serious riots. Why? Because Dearah would have scoffed all the chocolate...
693: Appendaged Appendage! ...doesn't matter so much either way, because the chocolate would be technically, crass...
694: Which came first, the chicken or the egg? Answer: the pie.
695: Anyone wearing the names from any rpg ever made come from a mythical place known as 'Uncreative Rpg Player land.'
(Has been guilty!)
696: Ever met a woman who had a voice like a pig being sat on repeatedly? Nope, me either.. I'm waiting for that novelty...
697: Wings don't make a person good. Just remember that...
698: ...neither do Haloes :: eyes :: Talon has one after all, but he -did- steal it. He's a notorious klepto when drunk
699: When bored a player will often play with him or herself. Yes, that does sound bad, but occasions do happen when people bring in other characters of their own to interact between said original character, just for the sake of levity in the face of boredom...
700: ... and so is born, The Paradox Mistake. This mistake occurs when the player has more than one screen open at a time. It may strike as either:
a: accidentally messing up what one character should say with the other character, creating confusion and mayhem.
b: Same as above but with actions. Especially confusing is where the seperate characters are in seperate rooms... the sight of a girl trying to dash the brains out of a man whom she is nowhere near can often upset the onlookers.
c: Disconnection. Both characters vanish. This often leads to suspicions as to who may play said characters.
d: Despite the Paradox Mistake, there is the "Non Identity Clause" which many cling to, which they hope to affirm their seperateness from one idenity to another by having BOTH characters in the room at once.
d: appendaged: It never works..
682: ...no, don't -even- contemplate chocolate milk...
683: How deep is a bag of Holding? Deeper than Mary Poppin's underwear suitcase, apparently. I've seen whole gnomes be produced from them...
684: Drow are just elves that forgot to eat sugar
685: Or alternatively, Elves are just drow that neglected to go play "Dip the Pointy Ears" in a tar pit.
686: Feathers and sticky substances do not generally make for happy people, these substances include but are not limited to:
a: Honey
b: Chocolate
c: Mud
d: Water (I'm counting it because it makes feathers and fur stink.)
e: Wine
f: Blood (often other peoples.)
g: Fae Goo (You know who you are :nonono: )
687: Do you ever wonder what mad person ever actually sat down and decided: "Hey, I wonder what that big leafy green thing would taste like if I boiled it not so delicately in water then forced my unwitting friends to consume it's foresaid leafy goodness whilst I stand on and laugh?"
Do you?
I do... the man who invented "Cabbage" as part of mealtimes should be shot...
However, the same goes for cake. How did anyone ever find out the secret to making 'Cake'? ...I fear for my sanity...
688: Why don't we ever see 'whale' or 'seal' on the menu? It's mediaeval times, it's not like people really -cared- what they ate back then... mmm blubber...
689: "You are what you eat..." ...if a cannibal happened into the crt, he'd be nuts...
690: Do mediaeval women wear knickers?
691: How come we never see anyone in the CRT or Juxta who is "At her time of the month"? Never! We see pregnant, dying, bleeding, gory hacked to bits victims, slash horror, rape, mutilation, love, death, hate, justice, Pou and her broom and all other manner of frightening things... ...yet no one dares speak of having "The painters" in...
692: appendaged! Of course, should anyone ever happen on this female 'myth' then there would be some serious riots. Why? Because Dearah would have scoffed all the chocolate...
693: Appendaged Appendage! ...doesn't matter so much either way, because the chocolate would be technically, crass...
694: Which came first, the chicken or the egg? Answer: the pie.
695: Anyone wearing the names from any rpg ever made come from a mythical place known as 'Uncreative Rpg Player land.'
(Has been guilty!)
696: Ever met a woman who had a voice like a pig being sat on repeatedly? Nope, me either.. I'm waiting for that novelty...
697: Wings don't make a person good. Just remember that...
698: ...neither do Haloes :: eyes :: Talon has one after all, but he -did- steal it. He's a notorious klepto when drunk
699: When bored a player will often play with him or herself. Yes, that does sound bad, but occasions do happen when people bring in other characters of their own to interact between said original character, just for the sake of levity in the face of boredom...
700: ... and so is born, The Paradox Mistake. This mistake occurs when the player has more than one screen open at a time. It may strike as either:
a: accidentally messing up what one character should say with the other character, creating confusion and mayhem.
b: Same as above but with actions. Especially confusing is where the seperate characters are in seperate rooms... the sight of a girl trying to dash the brains out of a man whom she is nowhere near can often upset the onlookers.
c: Disconnection. Both characters vanish. This often leads to suspicions as to who may play said characters.
d: Despite the Paradox Mistake, there is the "Non Identity Clause" which many cling to, which they hope to affirm their seperateness from one idenity to another by having BOTH characters in the room at once.
d: appendaged: It never works..
Andion Isurand
First Post
Q&A
701. I need to dodge the attacks my opponents make. How can I do this?
Just narrate all of your character's responses using this one word... 'dodges'. Even if you can't spell this word correctly, there is no need to worry as long as its meaning comes across.
702. Ok, I learned to spell the word 'dodges'. Anything else I can do?
Try adding these words to your vocabulary:
parries, blocks, deflects, catches, turns
Also, for extra credit, try adding the words 'the attack' after using one of the words above.
703. This dating service sucks. Have you gotten any?
No. This is not a dating service.
704. My character is attractive, athletic, intelligent, talented, skilled and cool. Why aren't the ladies noticing me?
A. If your character is 7 or more feet tall, it might be that the 5' elf maidens are frightened of you.
B. If he is a 'dime a dozen' drow house weapons master, then you should know that the ISRP market is saturated with them. You'll have to play such a character better than the rest (and I don't mean your being able to kick the most butt). Even then, Drow are considered far too disreputable for other kinds to risk being alone with them.
C. Anyone can buy/conjuer flowers and hold a glass and drink from it while seated in a tavern. It takes a brave and intelligent man to make a good attempt at conversation with an attractive lady.
D. Humor can replace intelligence. If you can combine both of these things, please tell me how you did it so I can improve my skills.
E. It helps to have some proficiency at spelling.
F. Perhaps you weren't shameless enough to expound further upon the awesome qualities of your character, and other characters are outshining you.
G. It could be that you haven't yet made a hot female character using a second screen name, so that you can have both characters logged on at once and have them interact where everyone else can see.
H. Some of the other female characters could be more interested in eachother than any of the dudes.
etc. (more to come) etc.
701. I need to dodge the attacks my opponents make. How can I do this?
Just narrate all of your character's responses using this one word... 'dodges'. Even if you can't spell this word correctly, there is no need to worry as long as its meaning comes across.
702. Ok, I learned to spell the word 'dodges'. Anything else I can do?
Try adding these words to your vocabulary:
parries, blocks, deflects, catches, turns
Also, for extra credit, try adding the words 'the attack' after using one of the words above.
703. This dating service sucks. Have you gotten any?
No. This is not a dating service.
704. My character is attractive, athletic, intelligent, talented, skilled and cool. Why aren't the ladies noticing me?
A. If your character is 7 or more feet tall, it might be that the 5' elf maidens are frightened of you.
B. If he is a 'dime a dozen' drow house weapons master, then you should know that the ISRP market is saturated with them. You'll have to play such a character better than the rest (and I don't mean your being able to kick the most butt). Even then, Drow are considered far too disreputable for other kinds to risk being alone with them.
C. Anyone can buy/conjuer flowers and hold a glass and drink from it while seated in a tavern. It takes a brave and intelligent man to make a good attempt at conversation with an attractive lady.
D. Humor can replace intelligence. If you can combine both of these things, please tell me how you did it so I can improve my skills.
E. It helps to have some proficiency at spelling.
F. Perhaps you weren't shameless enough to expound further upon the awesome qualities of your character, and other characters are outshining you.
G. It could be that you haven't yet made a hot female character using a second screen name, so that you can have both characters logged on at once and have them interact where everyone else can see.
H. Some of the other female characters could be more interested in eachother than any of the dudes.
etc. (more to come) etc.
D
Dragona Nightsky
Guest
Bhryn Astairre said:
::grumble grumbles about things related to that...::
I never could believe I had to result to that as Sena to get a damned fair fight! -_-';;;Bhryn Astairre said:
Ahem...a few to add to the pot...some will probably be rephrased version of others...but I plea...um...the fact there's over 700 of these!!!
';705. Please leave your creativity in the ISRP lobby. Anything you create that is original will always be copied ruthlessly as soon as people start taking notice. Not to mention, if it's doable, it's probably been done. Oh, and even if you created it, please remember that the person who steals from you always takes priority over you when they claim vehemently it was their idea.
706. Long lost relatives (most of which you had no clue were alive...or even EXSISTED) and/or family that had died/been long dead ... are fatefully scheduled to find you on Juxta and Oerth.
707. Juxta is the greatest place in the multiverse for stargazing... :bored:
708. Drow will always have:
A. Silvery hair...not white...not creamy...Silvery...it's a must!
B. Red eyes...again, it's a must
and they will
a. Have grown up in a community of high elves who took pity on their poor dark-skinned souls and taught them all the ways of elves, PLUS they will have picked up everything they would have learned from Drow society
-OR-
b. have grown up in the oppressive drow society, breaking free by disposing of their cruel female siblings who were devout worshippers of Lloth, thus coming to the surface world without a second thought (Sunlight!! Glorious Sunlight!!!! ...
) to rebuild their lives as friends of everyone, including the elves who cast them down to their current oppresive society to begin with!-OR-
c. have grown up in the oppressive Drow society, making do by becoming highly-trained assasains that can obviously even dispose of the gods, and still somehow deigning to delight the surface world with their prescence
708. Demons and Devils actually enjoy idle chatter with the "lesser" races and often if not always fall in love with a Celestial from the highest layers of Celestia.
709. If you are evil, the best course of action is to burst through the door, denouncing all that is good before you level the plane with your awesome demonic/diabolic/vampiric/etc etc power.
710. Fear does not exsist on Juxta and Oerth. Those who exhibit qualities of fear towards the supernatural are deemed "off their rockers" and cast down to the ranks of the ignored. Have no fear...This is standard procedure!
711. Everyone not only wields shadows at their will, but can call forth holy light, and even control chaos as well as pure energy at their whim. If you cannot do this then you are a weak fool and will be immediatly executed by those who can. (No saving throw!
)712. This is freeform roleplaying, however please keep in mind that everyone is level 40 or above. Please refer to rule 711 for the consequences of being below level 40, and have a nice day
713. Idle chat is a thing of the past! Please announce your intent to duel as loudly as possible the moment you enter the room!
714. Ironically, the citizens and regular visitors to Juxta and Oerth weild more power than the gods themselves (this is especially true on Juxta
). Please, do not panic. This is perfectly normal!715 a. If you are turned into a vampire, wight, shadow, skeleton, other creature of the night or undead, have no fear! The stranger on the other side of the portal will fix you right up and restore you to your former self, no charges, no side-effects!
b. If by some unknown twist of fate you, say, break a leg...sever an arm...get stepped on by a giant being thereby being paralyzed for the remainder of your life...have your hands mangled by a pregnant celestial giving birth ::ducks!:: ....or other unfortunate tradgedy that would cause you to not be the perfect, flawless person you are, again...have no fear. The warrior's sword, who happens to be a god of healing who foolishly got trapped in a sword which the warrior may command at will, will heal you up...no scars, no broken bones, not a single cut or scratch! And if the warrior with the god of healing as a sword isn't available, then you can always count on the other 99% of the population who can cast all-powerful healing spells AND/or have the god of healing stashed away in their sword
Edit - Adding:
716. The law evidently states that all magic-users must carry a staff of tremendous power and all other patrons to Juxta/Oerth WILL carry swords, not withstanding the magic users who will most likely carry both.
More to come later, probably...
Enjoy!
~Draggyness~
*runs away, fearing revenge for the pregnant celestial crack*
B
Bhryn Astairre
Guest
...let's all poke fun...
717: I'm amazed we made it this far... we're all obviously demented and emotionally crippled enough to have no social life and therefore come here on a regular, static basis... ...yay...
718: Dragons don't get to choose their parents, they're all elven.
719: Putting your name into latin makes you sound 'hard' and 'cooler'.
720: "Oh what tangled webs we weave, when first we learn to deceive." ...or you could simply be looking at the yarny mess that is Bhryn's love life.. guilty as charged.
721: Oh no, bad light! ...How come you so rarely meet a -real- pampered lady? Hmm?
722 Everyone has 20/20 vision, if they don't, they're blind. Glasses are not seen here, terribly gauche.
723: "Why did I even get out of bed this morning?!" must be the common phrase upon walking into the tavern and finding it being smashed about by the usual lager louts.
724: When someone says "I can show you your reflection" and you're sat by the fountain AND you lean over... then you deserve the pushing in you rightfully get.
725: Strawberries make excellent sharks.
726: Writing a huge long speech is a jinx to the server, for once you type it up and press enter, you can almost guarantee that it will crash, resoundingly. Har har... etc.
727: Snow is fun to the point when it goes down the dress front, then all hell breaks loose...
728: Never, ever trust a demon who smiles at you whilst hiding one hand. It's not because he has a present (sarcastic look).
729: Men will compete with swords until the cows come home, women just get on with it: ie!
Men: My swords bigger!
Men: No mine!
Men: Mine's got super haste!
Men: Mines got frog protection!
Men: well yeah... mine....
Women: Ha! stabbity!
Women: ow! *dies.*
Case rested.
730: Beware of demons bursting into song. It's quite bewildering. Especially as they're demons.
appendage: if they dance, run a-w-a-y!!!
717: I'm amazed we made it this far... we're all obviously demented and emotionally crippled enough to have no social life and therefore come here on a regular, static basis... ...yay...
718: Dragons don't get to choose their parents, they're all elven.
719: Putting your name into latin makes you sound 'hard' and 'cooler'.
720: "Oh what tangled webs we weave, when first we learn to deceive." ...or you could simply be looking at the yarny mess that is Bhryn's love life.. guilty as charged.
721: Oh no, bad light! ...How come you so rarely meet a -real- pampered lady? Hmm?
722 Everyone has 20/20 vision, if they don't, they're blind. Glasses are not seen here, terribly gauche.
723: "Why did I even get out of bed this morning?!" must be the common phrase upon walking into the tavern and finding it being smashed about by the usual lager louts.
724: When someone says "I can show you your reflection" and you're sat by the fountain AND you lean over... then you deserve the pushing in you rightfully get.
725: Strawberries make excellent sharks.
726: Writing a huge long speech is a jinx to the server, for once you type it up and press enter, you can almost guarantee that it will crash, resoundingly. Har har... etc.
727: Snow is fun to the point when it goes down the dress front, then all hell breaks loose...
728: Never, ever trust a demon who smiles at you whilst hiding one hand. It's not because he has a present (sarcastic look).
729: Men will compete with swords until the cows come home, women just get on with it: ie!
Men: My swords bigger!
Men: No mine!
Men: Mine's got super haste!
Men: Mines got frog protection!
Men: well yeah... mine....
Women: Ha! stabbity!
Women: ow! *dies.*
Case rested.
730: Beware of demons bursting into song. It's quite bewildering. Especially as they're demons.
appendage: if they dance, run a-w-a-y!!!
PandoraNight
First Post
*bursts out laughing* Oh man that has to be the funniest ones yet hehehehehe
Andion Isurand
First Post
731. Exceedingly post-modern items and articles continue to emerge. (#3)
* Cowboy hats and boots.
* Coats and jackets with zippers.
* Motorcycles.
* CD Players.
732. No real elf wears spurs.
733. Remember, trees are flammable.
No real child of an elf and a silver dragon throws fireballs while fighting in the clearing.
734. Time Stop.
This spell does not freeze time itself. For a few moments, it speeds you up so fast that it looks that way.
735. The ISRP budget.
Used to pay the extensive costs needed to keep the arena, emporium, tavern built (at best, in decent repair) and the forest and garden from becoming wastelands (at best, with something planted).
736. Villans that can't spell, are counted as being no more than another kobold.
737. Each villan worth his or her salt, must be obliterated on sight by no less than three heroes.
738. By the nine hells, could that be an axe?
What happened to your katanas, Sir Dwarf?
739. I can't believe there are more rules left unsaid.
No, wait, yes I can... this is ISRP.
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