The Rules of Character Engagement

[Gene_Kynes]

A weaker man would make a comment about .309, and put it into a rule.

310. There's no "just" Fireball spell. It always has to be a massive orb of flame that does roughly as much damage as eating an atomic bomb (except with more range), or getting shot in the eye with an anti-tank missle covered in gasoline. Fireballs meant to be used as "spine" spells is something only the insane do.

311. ((Okay, I'm weak. ) If someone says they're one of two things that you should worry about, don't worry if they beat you to a painful pulp. They'll still be your favowitest dwaggin, evow.

 

[Dontella]

*bahs*

312. If your elven warrior, who being chaotic nuetral and disrespects anyone she doesn't fear, or who isn't related.. insults someone, you better be ready for them to whine about it in OOC form, despite it being an IC argument.

313. If you are chaotic nuetral, and disrespect everyone except those you are related to, people will insult your roleplaying style until you go insane and shower them with things pink and fluffy..

314. If you shower them with things pink and fluffy, they will also insult your roleplaying style..

315. You just can't win.. settle for more chocolate.

 

[PandoraNight]

316. If you've been a normal character for years....never NEVER let on that you have split personalities.....how dare you tip the scale and be something different.

 

[Jardel_Karabella]

317. Having a weakness and not telling everyone about it the moment you meet them is likely to get you into a lot of trouble.

318. This goes double if you're a villian, if you don't clearly anounce your weakness or have them spelled out in your description you're clearly a god-moder.

319. Describing what an item looks like is apparently not half as important as describing what it does or it's long and boring history.

320. Paragons of good tend to have a lot of pent up naughtiness they like to release in private.

321. Just because a new race/class/campaign has been released for less than a week, doesn't mean you can't pretend your character hasn't been it for hundreds of years.

 

[Ssussunriyh]

322. To find the approximate age of the player, take the stated age of the character and use this simple formula:

If the character is a human or a half-elf, the player's age is plus or minus 10 years

If the character is an elf or a drow, divide by 10

If the character is a demon, devil, or other outsider, divide by 1000

If the character claims to be a billion years old or more, the player is currently going through puberty.

 

[Jardel_Karabella]

323. Ancient creatures such as dragons, vampires, demons, etc always come in nice round numbers such as 30,000 years old or four million. Never 3,232,857 years or anything as tacky as that.

324. Swords that are larger than their weilder should never be viewed as impractical, as anyone who's every played any game with the words "Final Fantasy" in it knows.

 

[Bhryn Astairre]

:: just... pokes Jardy ::

325: ...don't fear the Reaper. No one else does. Death has become so commonplace, that people are downright blasé about it. Accept the rules of this, no one ever questions it after all.

326: Armour is something taken off in two seconds flat.

327: said droppage techniques applies to many varieties of clothing...

327:a: I know, I'm a cynic... :smirk:

328: How come we never see a leper?

329: Whilst some people have standard names like "Jardel" or "Jaya", and some have outrageously difficult names like, "Bhrynovyl Astairre" or "Don-whateveritreallyisbecauseIcan'trecall!-Tella" the amount of people with names like "Roger" or "Ted" never ends. Creativity is a rampant quality, you see.

330:Bad Guys can't ever fight alone. They just have to have someone else help them mouth off.

331:If a bard sings in a tavern, and there are people around to hear him/her, will she always be defined as "screeching like a cat"?

 

[Tharivious_Meliamne]

I've got an insane devil that would argue with 330, he's taken himself to the clearing several times without an opponent.

Picking up on the armor matter, then moving onward:

332. No matter what type of armor a male character is wearing, his significant other can always place her head on his chest and be perfectly comfortable, even if it's spiked full plate. Armor makes a perfect fluffy pillow.

333. Characters can always get a shoulder rub, even if they are wearing the aforementioned spiked full plate. Armor can become incorporeal when it means the character can become more relaxed.

334. The character who carries eight blades and a composite longbow and wears armor is a wizard if he casts even standard spells. No self respecting rogue would ever train the ability to activate wands or staffs and hide them on his person.*

335. Never assume that someone knows what they're talking about when you read something they say about their character, they must be wrong if they claim to know what they're talking about.

336. Subtlety in a fight is meaningless; always go for the flashy, easily defended against move because it looks really cool. Besides, that just lets those opportunistic foes strike in a much more efficient and logisitically unblockable way.

* - Yep, this happened to Tharivious. He got called a wizard while being challenged to a duel to the death.

 

[Gene_Kynes]

This is so unfunny, it's making me anti-laugh. I think my lungs are gonna implode.

326. Ranged Combat? Don't bother. Every single bolt/bullet/arrow will either be easily dodged, or just leave a superfiscial (Horrendous spelling? Check.) graze.

327, this was probably said somewhere else...apologies to those who posted the similiar entires!. A female never, ever has to pay for anything if she's remotely attractive. A wandering stranger will always pay for her.

328. No matter what someone needs, someone else always has it "stashed away" in their portable hole/home/magic bag/demiplane. The ol'quest about searching entire lands for important items?! Bah!

329. Never question the Tavern's economics. The people paying fifty platinum in "tips" for BeeGee are counteracted by the people who don't pay, or steal from the till. Whatever remains after the supply restock is used to purchase new tables, new dark, shadowy corners, and to clean up the bloodstains from the two dozen suicides, suicide threats, wounds, and 'Characters covered in blood looking very wounded' that walk in through the door. I suspect Siani's either in debt, or left with a very average profit.

330. Having Source Code leaked will give you enough time to program anything. At least until you forget to change your computer password from "PASSWORD", you clever, witty hacker-beater, you.

 

[Dontella]

*eyes 320.* Does that go double for goodly clerics?

331. No matter how long you've played your character, someone always knows them better than you do.. just ask.

332. I reiterate, more chocolate.