Unexpected Guests: Look whose coming to dinner?

[Baron Opal]

Unexpected children are sent to the playroom to entertain the 4 year old baronet and the GUPPY OF DOOM!.

 

[Wild Gazebo]

I would definitely try to include the kid. I might even go out of my way to make it more interesting for her than the rest of the adults. Some very kind and patient people let me at thier gaming table whilst I was but six years of age...and I'm still gaming these 26 years later. Just a thought.

 

[Zappo]

That's very rude. Neither my game nor my house are kid-safe, and I am not willing to make them so on a moment's notice, especially not for a couple that can't say no to their own spawn. And I don't like small kids anyway. Not raw, anyway.

 

[wedgeski]

Simply put, I'd probably be okay with a young kid as long as they either joined in the game or were supervised (no *way* I'm letting someone under ten rampage through my place), basically because it's not the kid's fault that they were brought somewhere uninvited. I *would* bring it up with the parents after the game was complete, because I'm clear on house rules when it comes to game night.

An uninvited adult is a completely different kettle of fish. He either joins in the game or leaves, and afterwards I would ask the inviter of said person exactly what part of my house rules he didn't comprehend.

 

[StupidSmurf]

Being parents, we try to make sure that our kids are OUR problem, not someone else's. We expect the same sort of courtesy from other parents.

My campaign is full. Way full. Waiting list full. When everyone makes it, there's 11 players, 1 DM (yours truly), and an occasionally wandering to-and-fro black cat. I do have a hard and fast "seen but not heard" rule. You want to bring your kid? Fine. Let me know ahead of time so I can be mentally ready. Keep them quiet. You want to bring an S.O. to watch? Fine. He or she should not try to contribute something to the in-character game flow.

Prior experiences have made me have to crack down like that. Otherwise I get walked all over. Worst (and most recent) incident:

A few years ago, I ran a Kalamar D&D campaign. I have this former friend of mine, we go way back. He and his wife have 3 kids, and adopted 4 more. When we were starting up the campaign, he asked if he could play...and bring three of his sons, ages 18, 14, 11, if I recall correctly. I know I have the first two ages down pretty accurately. I almost want to say he brought along a fourth, but I honestly can't remember. It was at least 3 kids. Maybe 4. Since we were such old friends and he was one of my ardent veterans, I reluctantly agreed.

Well, the 18 year old was excellent (great kid all around)...the 14 year old kinda okay, the 11 year old was a freaking nightmare. And I was the one stuck doing Kid Control while, across the room, he was chatting up one of my female players. Yes, the guy's married. :\

They only came for one or two sessions. I implemented the abovementioned rules, and that's how it stands.

 

[werk]

I've never had a drop-in player, it's just not an option. And I don't allow couples either, bad history with that. If you can't separate for a few hours, don't come, the game isn't foremost in your attention, so don't act like it is. It's like driving while talking on a cell phone.

Thankfully, my house is decorated with sharp or pointy things intermixed with expensive fragile things...parents always keep their kids far away. I'll child-safe my home when I have kids, but until then, don't bring kids over unless you want them to get hurt/corrupted.

So, yeah, this is a problem I've never really had.

 

[sniffles]

I've seen this kind of thing happen before, and it is just the height of rudeness in my opinion. On one occasion a friend showed up for a game with two kids in tow, and expected the childless, single, gamer-geek host to provide some tv viewing material for the children while Dad shut the game room door and tried to pretend the kids didn't exist!!

My response would be to say brightly in a cheery, friendly tone, "Oh! A surprise guest! I wish you'd let me know so I could be more prepared. Would <insert uninvited guest's name here> like to play?"

If the uninvited guest is a child and declines to play, I'd add, "My house isn't really set up to handle children, but let's see what we can find to keep <child name> occupied. Did you bring your own snacks? I'm sorry I don't have anything." (I'd say that even if I do have snacks, because it's rude to expect someone else to feed your kid when they didn't tell you the kid was coming).

In other words, I'd try to pretty obviously point out how rude it is to show up with your kid in tow with no warning and no explanation, but I'd do it without getting angry or offensive. Hopefully the parents would be bright enough to get the message. If they're not then they probably wouldn't be invited back themselves.

 

[Thornir Alekeg]

The only thing I see as rude is that they didn't even say anything when they arrived. IMO, it isn't a problem to bring the child, even without asking first, as long as they understand that they are responsible for keeping the child from disrupting everyone else's enjoyment of the game.

I guess since most of the players in my old group had kids, we were very undertstanding of things like this.

 

[Alenda]

Wow! The couple in this situation sound really rude! If their child was so interested in roleplaying, rather than dragging them along to a game, they should have created a family DnD session specifically for their children. Not only would this be a great family-building activity, it would also be a more appropriate introduction to the game.

I myself was first introduced to gaming through silently witnessing gaming sessions. (I was invited by the DM, so that made it OK). Even though I was 20-something at the time, I still felt that the whole thing was highly confusing: I didn't know any of the characters, or backstory not to mention the rules. If I was confused, then surely a child would be. And confused or bored children tend to make trouble!

These parents obviously dropped the ball when it came to introducing their child to the world of roleplaying.