megamania said:
What am I doing wrong?
Many Storyhours here have a constant flow of "good job" or "tell us more". I don't.
I thought my storyhours had originality and character but maybe I am misleading myself.
So- what can i do improve my storyhours?
I have cut myself down to two so that I may concentrate on them. One is held up due to little play time and the other since I am including artwork.
Comment on either of those or even my Darksun and Strikeforce SH.
I saw this thread and could not help but feel your frustration. Anyway, I thought I'd go over to your latest story hour - Eberron: The Pathfinders - and read it so I could at least give considered feedback.
1. I'm most likely not in a great position to be giving advice so take any of this with a grain of salt. (In other words, read more into the fantastic advice by Mouseferatu and others than myself.)
2. Reading through your SH, there where several words that looked to be incorrectly chosen from the spellchecker (will instead of with, choice rather than choose). If you want to be regarded as a serious writer, that generally means no spelling mistakes and no obvious grammatical errors. Be really strict on this. Print out a draft of what you wish to post, get the red pen out and get to work.
3. Whether something is "interesting" or not can be very subjective. Interesting stuff generally involves some form of conflict. I didn't sense much conflict going on in your SH. Fighting yes but conflict no. I didn't feel like the party were being truly troubled in any way. As such, things can be a little ho-hum.
Please don't take this personally. However, you have asked for feedback so go up to Mouseferatu's point 3. You want honest
opinion so here it is.
4. I did not feel much of a connection to the characters. You only have two short updates as well as the jpeg stuff so you have not had much time to project their personalities and why I should react to them (like or dislike). Remember, there is nothing worse than indifference to a character. The character might as well not be there.
5. Grammar and Editting. I admire people who have perfect grammar when it comes to tense. I know in my writing, I swap and change for different effects but I know that if someone went through it with a fine tooth comb, I suspect they would carve it up. All I can suggest here is to print out your draft and read it several times. Change words, cross out phrases that don't feel right, add more description, take out redundant words,...
Edit, edit, edit. I'm just an amateur but I will normally sit on an update for two weeks before I "release" it. Sometimes, I'll come up with a better idea or a better way to present something and junk half the update. I'll tease words in and other times ruthlessly extract words out. I normally read an update more times than I care to admit before I release it. This may be a little bit "anal" but it's the only way I can truly be happy with presenting something that I have written.
6. Writing for yourself is important. Be happy with what you write. If you can't go back and read something you have written and enjoy it, question what you have written. Look for improvements. If you can please yourself, you are going to be less concerned about a lack of reads and you are going to be prouder of your work.
7. Reads, responses and updates. I have fallen into this trap of wondering how many readers I actually have so I'm a poor one for advice. Perhaps Shemeska's advice to pimp away is the best here and if you have a good product, readers will start to want to read what you have to write.
Case in point: have a read of my SH and tell me what you think -
The Happenings of Lucifus Cray is a pretty fun story and a great character to write about. I've pimped this SH pretty hard and it has a reasonable readership as far as I can tell. There are certainly a few readers who appear to be enthusiastic. I do my best to answer their queries and questions and whet their appetite for more. However, I only write to the thread when I have an update - I don't do banter to keep it on page one of the forum. This is most likely strange but personally, I find it annoying when somebody writes to their thread without an update. I want to read story, not "filler".
8. Emphasiing what the others have said - read a lot. Write a lot and try to do different things with your writing. Imagine a scene and then really describe it noting how word choice can change the picture that you present. I would recommend several fantasy authors to you: Jack Vance (Lyonesse being a favourite amongst most of his stuff), George R.R. Martin, David Gemmel and for me, Raymond E. Feist (Magician to Darkness at Sethanon) is fun. I'm sure others would recommend different authors but in terms of fantasy, these are the guys whose books I will buy as soon as they come out without thinking.
A special note should go to the classics though. Charles Dickens is a favourite of mine - most of his stuff.
9. Lastly, don't take things too seriously. As soon as writing stops being fun, reading it stops becoming fun too. Don't be afraid to take a week or two off to freshen things up. Write when you have something to say, not when you feel like you have to.
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Anyway, I hope this helps somewhat. I'll stay tuned to any responses and I'll start reading some of your other SH's too. I'd like to help out and maybe the best way I can do this is by reading more of your stuff. I'll post back later. Best of luck.
Best Regards
Herremann the Wise